by Jackie Lau
However, before she could reach Connor, she was interrupted by her father.
“May I have a dance with my other daughter?” he asked.
“Uh, sure,” she said.
Dad took her hand. “Will I ever get to do this at your wedding? I hope you haven’t given up on finding love.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of his words. “You just had your divorce announced at Rebecca’s wedding, and you’re telling me not to give up on love?”
He shrugged.
Natalie didn’t say anything for a while. The lights in the room had been dimmed, and camera flashes went off here and there.
“I only heard Mom’s point of view,” she said at last. “What about yours? Were you unhappy, too, or not until she started cheating on you?”
“We’d both been unhappy for a while.” He sighed. “It’s complicated. Don’t hold the fact that she found someone else against her. We had agreed it would be okay if...” He shook his head.
Oh, God. Did Mom and Dad have an open marriage?
“Let’s not talk about this,” he said. “It’s supposed to be a happy day.”
“Too late,” she muttered, but she didn’t ask any more questions.
As soon as the song ended, she found Connor.
“What do you need?” he murmured, squeezing her hand. “Another drink? A dance? A trip to Bali?”
“If only. A little fresh air will have to do.”
She dragged him outside and around to the back of the community center, where she leaned against the brick wall and sighed.
“My parents are getting divorced,” she said. “My parents are getting divorced.” It still didn’t seem real, like it was a bad dream and she would wake up any minute.
But she knew it wasn’t a dream.
Connor braced his arms against the wall on either side of her, like he was protecting her from the world. “I’m sorry.”
“It shouldn’t bother me so much. I’m grown up; I’m not a child whose life will be upended.”
“Of course you’re upset. It’s okay to let yourself feel that.”
“You should be a therapist.”
“I’m not going back to school to get another degree.”
“I bet you have a great bedside manner. Are you thinking of me as a patient right now?”
“No, I’m here as your friend.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “Whatever you need.”
Whatever you need. For some reason, that sent a shiver through her.
“My father asked if he would ever get to dance with me at my wedding,” she said. “I can’t imagine what would happen if I got married. Maybe an alien invasion? A zombie attack?”
“Natalie!” It was Rebecca.
Connor stepped back from Natalie, and she immediately missed his body heat.
Rebecca was followed by Iris, Seth, and Simon. They all looked at each other, and then Iris started laughing manically. Everyone else soon joined in.
Once Natalie started laughing, she couldn’t seem to stop. She felt rather unhinged.
“Nobody will ever forget your wedding, Rebecca,” Iris said between laughs.
“No, they won’t.”
Iris pulled out her bag of weed. “This sounds pretty good now, doesn’t it?”
“Put that away,” Rebecca said. “I don’t want to smell like pot, and I don’t want to be high on my wedding night.”
“Come find me after the reception, Iris,” Simon said. “I’ll smoke up with you, and I might be able to convince Seth to join us.”
“Did you see my mother’s face when I mentioned drugs?” Iris started laughing again. In fact, she was laughing so hard, she was practically crying. Then she enveloped Rebecca in a hug, and they tottered on their heels. When Iris stumbled, Natalie grabbed her shoulders. The three of them slid to the concrete in a laughing mess while Connor, Seth, and Simon looked on.
Rebecca stood up, but Iris and Natalie stayed on the ground, their legs stretched out in front of them.
“It’s a bridesmaid dress,” Iris said. “I probably won’t wear it again, so who cares.”
Rebecca fingered the sleeve of her red cheongsam. “I’m not sure I’ll wear this again, but I want it to look nice in the closet.”
“When you look at it,” Natalie said, “you’ll remember Ngin Ngin threatening to hit Grandma with a cane.”
“True. Maybe I should just burn everything.” Rebecca looked down at her hand and twisted her wedding band. “Did you have any idea they were getting divorced?”
Natalie shook her head. “I never thought they had the world’s perfect marriage, but I thought... They were Mom and Dad. They would always be together.”
Connor leaned over and put a hand on her shoulder, and she spread her fingers over his.
“When I was here at Christmas,” Seth said, “I noticed Mom had some clothes in the dresser in my old bedroom, and I wondered if she’d been sleeping in there.”
Natalie felt so naïve. When it came to her parents, she’d always focused on the fact that they were an interracial couple who’d encountered so much disapproval and yet had gotten married despite it and stayed married. She’d tried not to think much of things like the Baffin Island mist fight, telling herself that all couples fought.
Which was true. But did most couples have week-long fights about paint colors?
And then there was what had happened after Rebecca was born. Mom had struggled, and Dad hadn’t been there for her.
When, exactly, had they realized they’d made a mistake? Did one of them realize it long before the other?
Natalie looked at Connor, as though he might have the answers, though of course he didn’t.
“Isn’t marriage a wonderful institution?” Iris asked. “Aren’t you happy to be a part of it, Rebecca?”
“Better get started on those ten children,” Natalie said.
They all laughed some more, because it was better than anything else.
Before they returned to the reception, Natalie pulled Rebecca aside and asked if she was okay, if there was anything she needed from her big sister, and Rebecca shook her head with a bittersweet smile.
* * *
At eleven o’clock, Rebecca decided she wanted to return to the bed and breakfast and...
Frankly, Natalie didn’t want to think about what her sister would do with Elliot.
Before Rebecca headed out, she had to toss the bouquet. All the single women gathered on the dance floor, even Aunt Louisa, who had three divorces under her belt.
Natalie didn’t want to catch the bouquet—it was nothing more than a silly tradition—but she knew someone would drag her up if she didn’t go willingly. She stood near the back, figuring Rebecca wouldn’t throw it all that far, and didn’t bother raising her hands.
Rebecca threw the bouquet—with the white flowers that Ngin Ngin had said were bad luck—and to Natalie’s surprise, the flowers hurtled to the back of the room, toward Kelsey, who reached for them.
But then all of a sudden, the flowers were heading toward Natalie, as though they’d magically changed directions in the air. She had to put her hands in front of her face so she wouldn’t get hit in the head, and somehow, she caught the bouquet.
How wonderful.
All night, she’d felt like she had a gigantic neon sign that said, “She’s running out of time!” sticking out of her fancy updo, and now the bouquet couldn’t help but obey.
She looked at the flowers and wrinkled her nose. Yeah, after tonight, getting married was just what she needed. Not that she believed in any of these stupid superstitions anyway.
Natalie stood near her sister as Rebecca and Elliot said goodbye to everyone. Most people pretended the Divorce Incident hadn’t happened. They said it was a lovely wedding, Rebecca looked beautiful; surely, they would have a happy life together.
But not everyone.
“Sorry about that,” Aunt Louisa said, swaying as her son and daughter tried to support her. “Though you were
gonna find out eventually, weren’t you?” She slapped Rebecca’s shoulder.
“Congratulations,” Grandma said, “on making a better choice than your mother.”
“Fuck ya!” Uncle Dennis said, and Natalie had no idea what he was talking about. He probably didn’t know, either.
“Remember,” Ngin Ngin said, her hand on Rebecca’s shoulder. “Ten great-grandchildren. Maybe you start with triplets?”
Connor came up to Natalie after the newlyweds had left, and despite everything that had happened, she smiled when she saw him.
“Do you want to head out?” he asked.
She nodded, then remembered where her stuff was. “Oh, God. I’m supposed to stay at my parents’ house.”
No way in hell was she doing that tonight. Her parents would have a big fight that would last for hours, and then they would go to bed angry in separate bedrooms.
“Can I stay with you?” she asked Connor.
Chapter 8
Connor’s heart started thumping quickly after Natalie’s question. He couldn’t help but imagine standing behind her as he unzipped her dress, slipping the straps down her arms...
And later, sliding inside her.
But he was pretty sure that wasn’t what she had in mind.
“I’m not suggesting anything would happen,” she said quickly, “but I can’t stay at my parents’ house tonight. I just can’t. I have friends in town, but it’s too late to call them and ask to stay the night. I suppose I could ask Uncle Carey, but—”
“Natalie,” he said, grasping her shoulders, “you can stay with me, as long as you’re okay with sharing a queen-sized bed.”
“That’s fine.” She looked down at the two bouquets in her hands. Her own bouquet and the larger one that had been Rebecca’s. “Let’s walk to the park before we go back to the bed and breakfast.”
He took the smaller bouquet from her and clasped her hand in his as they walked out of the community center, unable to help himself from touching her.
Natalie led him west. They sat down on a bench in a small green space, looking out at Lake Huron, and didn’t say anything, though he continued to hold her hand.
As soon as Louisa had interrupted Rebecca’s speech, Connor had known it was true. Judy and Howard were separating. He’d immediately turned his gaze to Natalie and could see the disbelieving shock behind her calm expression, could see the exact moment she realized it wasn’t a lie. Ever since, all of his thoughts had been on Natalie. On being there for her.
“I figured something would go wrong at the wedding, but I never guessed it would be something like this.” She shook her head. “I thought maybe Grandma and Ngin Ngin would have a fight, actually—that, I had predicted. Sort of. You know this was only the third time they’d met, even though Mom and Dad have been married for decades?” She let out a bitter laugh. “And to think I made a note to plan their fortieth anniversary!” She took out her phone and held up the note she’d written for herself. “So, yeah, my grandmothers having a fight wasn’t much of a surprise, but what they were fighting about was a surprise. If only Rebecca had fallen on top of the wedding cake instead and gotten buttercream on her cheongsam ...”
Connor put both of the bouquets on the far side of the bench and turned Natalie so she was looking away from him. He started massaging her shoulders.
“I can’t believe I caught the bouquet,” she said. “I swear it was heading toward Kelsey and then changed directions.”
“It was heading toward you the whole time. Maybe you had a bit too much wine.”
“I didn’t drink enough wine. I’m practically sober.”
“Perhaps you’ll meet a charming prince when you get back to Ottawa,” he said, then experienced a slight pang as he imagined her with a cartoon prince on a cartoon white steed, even though the thought was ridiculous.
Natalie snorted. “Unlikely.”
“Maybe you’ll meet a charming Member of Parliament.”
“Knowing my luck, I’ll meet a charming but morally corrupt politician who thinks I’m ‘exotic looking’ and doesn’t believe in global warming.”
“That’s the dream, isn’t it?”
He rubbed her shoulders in silence for a minute. Natalie tilted her head to the side and moaned. That moan put dangerous thoughts in his head.
“I bet you thought I was a paranoid freak when I asked you to come to Rebecca’s wedding because I was certain something bad would happen.”
“I’ve never thought of you as a paranoid freak.”
“Really? Even when I said we’d be living in a dystopian hell within fifty years and humanity is doomed?”
“Lots of people feel that way right now.” He moved his hands down her back. “You’re not a complete pessimist, though. You believed in your parents’ relationship, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I stupidly did. I believed in love, and it was partly because of them. I was a sap.”
Behind her, he smiled. “You’re a caring person.”
She snorted again. “I don’t think most people see me that way.”
He wasn’t sure, but it was clear to him, especially when he saw her with her sister. Natalie had a cranky, sarcastic side, but she was also a bit of a romantic, and she was devoted to the people she loved.
Right now, he found it an irresistible combination.
Especially with her dark hair—nearly as dark as the night—curling over her shoulders. He pushed it aside so it wouldn’t get in the way of his massage, and he ached to tangle his fingers in it.
“Do you believe love can last?” she asked. “Or do you think it’s destined to fade in long-term relationships, but people stay together because, well, inertia?”
“I’m sure it lasts. Not for everyone, but it does.”
“Even though your own marriage ended.”
He didn’t say anything, just pushed his thumb into a particularly tense spot on her shoulder.
“Why did it end?” she asked. “You never told me.”
No, he hadn’t. He hadn’t told many people, and he didn’t plan to change that now. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That’s okay. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
There was a small part of him that wanted to tell her, but he didn’t know what she would think of him afterward. So, he changed the topic.
“You haven’t told me about your dating life lately,” he said. “A few years ago, you were really serious about the whole online dating thing. You’d go on a date every week or two, and then you’d text me afterward and maybe we’d meet for a beer, and you’d laugh about how bad it was.”
“Oh, yeah. I remember that. The guy who said he loved me after only two dates...the guy who sent me a dozen dick pics after two dates. The guy who shouted at me for refusing to sleep with him on the first date, because he thought a woman owed a man after forcing him to sit through a delicious meal and scintillating conversation.”
“I can’t imagine the conversation was scintillating with him.”
“It wasn’t. But I’m capable of scintillating conversation.”
“I know you are.”
“I would meet you afterward, and I would tell you about my bad dates, as well as the men who contacted me online who were so awful that I refused to meet them. It was depressing, but I laughed to make myself feel better, and I tried to see it as absurd. Kind of like tonight.” She turned toward him.
He dropped his hands from her shoulders. “You deserve better.”
The corner of her mouth quirked up.
“Why don’t you tell me about your dates anymore?” he asked.
But then he realized it would pain him to hear about them, in a way it hadn’t before. And surely she was dating. In his experience, women in their mid-thirties were usually dating rather desperately.
To his surprise, she said, “I haven’t been on a date in months. I stopped believing love could happen for me.”
It also pained him to hear those matter-of-fact words.
; Though in all honesty, he kind of felt that way about himself. He just hated that she would think that way, too, even if he was a bit relieved she hadn’t been seeing anyone lately.
“When did that happen?” he asked.
“About two years ago.” She shrugged, trying to pretend it was no big deal. “Just the way it is. The guys who were interested in me were either complete tools, or they wanted different things than I did. After almost twenty years of trying and failing, I realized I had to accept it. And it’s okay. It really is.” Her voice trembled, just slightly. “I mean, now that my parents are splitting up, I’m reluctant to believe in love for anyone, not just myself.”’
“It’s only been a few hours,” he said. “It’ll take a while to wrap your head around it.”
“Will my parents sell the house? Will they both stay in Mosquito Bay? Will we need to have separate holidays? Everything has been the same for so long, and now it won’t be.”
“They’re still your parents.”
“Yes. And I can’t help wishing I knew exactly what happened, even if a part of me doesn’t really want to know. But I want to understand everything. I like having answers.”
“I know.”
She tipped her head to the side and rested it against his shoulder. They looked out at the dark lake and the stars in the sky.
“Have you dated since your divorce?” she asked.
“I’ve been on a few dates in the past year, but that’s all. I don’t have much interest in it.”
“But you’re a catch! You’re a doctor. And you’re tall. Women like tall men. You’ve also got a full head of hair.” She paused. “You’re rather handsome, in fact.”
He lifted his eyebrows and placed his hand on her cheek, tilting her gaze toward him. “You think I’m rather handsome, not very handsome?”
“Don’t want my compliments to get to your head,” she said lightly, but her cheeks turned pink.
“So you do think I’m very handsome.”
Somehow, nothing else had ever made him feel so delighted.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I do.”