by Brindi Quinn
“That was a trap? No fair!” I growled and protested, but in actuality, I was entirely happy to be carried away by him while he raced after Ardette to the campsite.
But that happiness was fleeting. It wasn’t long before . . . Warm . . . that lust returned. I have to end this before . . . Warm . . .
But then Ardette’s words echoed in my head: ‘Just do what you do.’
Sing? Will that work? It was worth trying.
In my head, I hummed the Song of Juniper’s Cry to distract myself from the urge. Even with the lyrics flooding my mind, it was still there like a dull pain, but it was bearable. At least I could touch him in small doses if I occupied my mind like this, but why was something like that necessary? What’s happening to me? I was afraid of what I was becoming.
~
“Wake up, my sweet cherry.”
“Maaah!?” Ardette’s hand on my mouth muffled my screech. What are you going to do to me, pervert?!
“Oh? Is that what you’d like? Can’t say I’m surprised. I always knew the day would come. But unfortunately, this visit is purely business.”
It was night. Ardette had yet to tell me the specifics of how he’d been managing to sneak into my thoughts, but I was too startled by the midnight encounter to press him on it now. The three of us were without tent, but we’d managed to find a very shallow cave to shield us while we slept . . . at least, I’d been trying to sleep.
“Bizneff?” The word was muffled.
“Shhh.” Ardette brought his finger to his lips before releasing the one on my mouth. He nodded towards Nyte, who was sleeping a few feet away. “I want to try something.”
“Something?” I whispered.
“Go touch him.”
No! Don’t touch him. It’s bad.
Yes, touch him. Take his spirit.
No! I don’t want it!
“Shhh, be quiet in there,” said Ardette. “You’re even giving me a headache.”
“How did you-” But the shuffling of blankets made me clasp my own mouth this time.
We waited until Nyte had settled back in. His breathing was still heavy.
“Hurry up and touch him before he wakes up. It’s what you’ve been lusting for, isn’t it?”
“But why-”
“Just go.”
I shot Ardette an annoyed glare at having being woken up over something so strange, but at least if it meant getting to feel the warmth . . .
Stop thinking like that, you addict! I scolded myself and crawled over to him.
A stray beam of moonlight rested against his face. He looked peaceful, but his hand was clutching the sword at his side as though he was ready to spring up and fight an unseen enemy at any moment. A warrior.
“Get on with it.” Ardette sounded annoyed.
Should I? I was dreading and at the same time craving what would happen upon contact. Will I be able to hold back? But I nodded, and careful not to wake the sleeping Elf, rested my hand on his arm.
What!?
Contact was both disappointing and relieving. The warmth was still there, but it was incredibly faint, almost unnoticeable even for an addict like me. I didn’t feel the impulse, even with my skin against his bare arm. I moved my hand to the back of his neck. My cheeks grew hot and my heartbeat sped, but it was the same thing. The warmth wasn’t calling to me.
“Nothing?” whispered Ardette.
I shook my head. Why?
“One more test, then, but I’ll have to look away; the thought is too disgusting for me to handle.” He sighed. “I guess it’s something that’s unavoidable if we are to be certain.”
“Certain of what?” I mouthed the words. I was too close to Nyte; he could wake if my voice was a titch too loud.
“K-” Ardette looked ready to vomit.
“What?”
Ardette scowled. “K-k-kiss.” He finally choked the word out. “Try kissing him . . . somewhere.”
Kiss?! My heartbeat raced again.
“Ugh. Refrain from getting excited in front of me.”
Like I can help it! I studied the deep-breathing Elf while he drifted into the foggiest corners of dream. His eyelashes seemed so long with his eyes closed like that. Where should I kiss you? Goosebumps rose on my arms. We’ve already kissed once, so why am I getting so nervous again?
Behind me, Ardette let out a small cry. I looked back at him, and his eyes were narrowed at Nyte like he wanted to fill his mouth with sand. Again, it seemed he’d somehow read my thoughts.
It’s got to be my imagination, though. He can’t really be hearing me. That ‘tag’ thing was just a joke to mess with me . . . wasn’t it? Take this then, you peeper. Ardette’s a big, smelly dummy!
Ardette chuckled behind me.
What the heck?! I was growing alarmed. There was no way that all of his responses had been coincidence. I’ll get it out of you, but first . . . a kiss.
My veins were alive, my heartbeat too fast. I was going to catch on fire. Just do it, Aura. I softened my lips. Gah! I’m going to explode!
Ardette grumbled something indistinguishable.
Fine!
I bent down and kissed Nyte on the cheek. There was a small flare of warmth, but it was nothing like the temptation I’d felt before.
I took my face from his after a moment, but only at Ardette’s throat clearing. The hand gripping Nyte’s sword released and rubbed the place I’d kissed.
Foolish Elf, getting mixed up with suspicious songstresses. Don’t become defenseless because of me.
Ardette cleared his throat again, so I reluctantly pulled my eyes away from Nyte. I instantly felt sorry for my selfish enjoyment of the situation when my eyes fell on Ardette’s pained face.
Ardette?
He turned away from me, but beckoned over his shoulder at me to follow him with a lazy index finger. I slowly trudged through the sand behind him, feeling guilty.
He stopped far enough away that we could talk without Nyte hearing. The western moon still hadn’t returned to the skies in these parts, and I felt its absence more than I had since the start of our journey. For some reason, I knew everything would be better if I could just see my moon again . . . .
The night air was cooperating with our shelter-less group. The cave would not have sufficed had it been colder, but the air was warm and calm and helped to blanket us.
At least the elements are being kind to us now, even if we aren’t being kind to each other. I am the unkindest of us all, though, aren’t I? Making Ardette suffer like that, when I know full well how he feels. Can he hear these thoughts now, I wonder?
Ardette didn’t respond to show that he could.
But if he really can hear them, even sometimes, I’ll have to severely limit my thoughts . . . but how can I do that?! Can I help something like that? I’ll try it now. Make my mind go blank! . . . Ugh. It’s no use. When I think about not thinking, that’s when the most thoughts come in!
Ardette snorted. He turned to me with a flashy smile.
Ah! Cut it out!
“I’m sorry. It’s too funny. You really are a mess, aren’t you?”
“A mess?!” What an impolite thing to say! I scowled.
“You’re angry? Hmm. I thought I could play the guilt card awhile longer. How disappointing.”
What? So you didn’t really feel bad that I kissed Nyte? It was too late for all of this nonsense. I was starting to get annoyed.
“Mind letting me in on some of your ‘secrets’?” I asked.
Too tired to stand, I slouched into a crouch against a sturdy boulder.
“Well, you know how much I enjoy keeping a good secret, so I think I won’t.” Ardette didn’t look tired at all; he looked ready to play.
Ugh, great. “Then I’m going back to bed,” I warned.
“Really? Just giving up, are you? And here I thought I’d get a game out of you.”
Ha! I knew it! “Well, you thought wrong.” I sighed. “Let’s start with the secret of how you’ve been intruding my perso
nal thoughts. That’s the most unsettling of everything that’s going on right now. That makes The Mystress seem like an overly-friendly neighbor.”
“Why, my cherry pit, I don’t know what you’re referring to.”
“I believe you said something about ‘tagging’? I thought you were joking, but . . .”
“I was jesting, of course.” He smoothed his hair back boredly.
I eyed him suspiciously. “Really?” If that was the case, I’d give him a test.
Ardette, if you can hear this, I have something to tell you, so listen up. If you can really hear this, then I give you permission to take a big whiff of my hair right now.
Ardette remained away from me, but I thought I saw him flinch.
Hmm. I thought he wouldn’t be able to resist. Maybe I was wrong. One more, just to be sure.
I straightened up, desperately hoping that he couldn’t really hear my thoughts and that this test wouldn’t be necessary.
Ardette, if you can hear me, I give you permission to . . . kiss me. But it can’t be the mouth! Hear that, stupid Ardette? You can kiss me not on the mouth . . . and not anywhere that involves removal of clothing, okay? I won’t fight back, so kiss away!
I waited for a moment. Phew, guess I was wro-
But then Ardette grabbed my wrist, and pulled me against him. He brushed my hair away from my neck and kissed me just below the ear.
Ah! That damned small something kicked, despite my best efforts. Remembering my agreement, I let his lips rest there and didn’t push him away, but my thoughts were racing.
He did hear. How?! He has been listening in? How long?! What’s going on! You’d better tell me everything when you’re finished on my neck! Are you almost done, by the way?
Before I could do anything, Ardette moved his mouth over an inch and kissed me again below my jaw.
Inside, I was a mess.
Go away, small something! I felt my cheeks grow hot. Shoot, shoot, shoot! This isn’t supposed to happen with him! Wait, I didn’t say he could kiss me twice, right?
I pushed him away.
“Wait,” he said, “while I’m at it, I’ll take you up on your other offer.”
“Other off-”
He buried his nose in my hair and inhaled deeply.
“Oh, right.”
At last, he pulled himself away.
“You better explain yourself! What gives you the right to go creeping into another person’s thoughts, you shadowy-” But I abruptly stopped my rant. Huh?
Ardette was leaning back with his eyes closed and the softest smile upon his mouth. It was far different than his usual garish appearance. Confused, I studied him until his eyes snapped open. They were almost glowing red.
“This is the happiest I’ve ever been,” he said. “To hear those words coming from you . . .” He sighed way too exuberantly.
“Um . . . er . . .” This is so awkward. Why do I feel like I’ve just committed the worst sin? More importantly, what’s up with him?
“Sorry. Let me try to contain myself.” He closed his eyes again, took a deep breath, and rolled his head. “All right, my cherry pit, let’s get down to business, shall we? Unless you’d like to offer yourself to me again?”
For once, I wasn’t sorry to see Ardette’s façade mask the real him. I didn’t know how to respond to those very real emotions. I didn’t know how to respond to my own either.
“Just tell me how you’re doing it,” I demanded.
“Like I said, spirits aren’t the only ones who can tag.”
“Meaning?”
“Remember when I intoxicated you on the way to the prophecy?”
I remembered. Of course I remembered. That had been when he’d said those words. ‘For longer than you’ll ever know.’
“You mean when you scrambled my brain?”
“I suppose that’s what your friend called it, yes.”
“What about it?”
“I left a bit of myself in there.”
“You what?!” In me?! I didn’t really understand it, but I still felt violated. I wrapped my arms around myself in a protective hug and glared at him.
“Like I said, I left a little shadow behind. Actually, it was this piece of me, here.” He pointed to the bottom of his earlobe where a small chunk was missing. I hadn’t noticed it before.
What?! Daems can do something like that?! How weird!
I hugged myself tighter. “Well, take it back! It’s rude to enter a person’s mind!”
“Your mind has been quite worth whatever rudeness I’ve accumulated.” He grinned.
I deepened my glare and said, “Ugh! Why would you do that?!”
“Simple. I knew I wouldn’t be able to enter the test with you, and I wanted to make sure you were safe. I left a bit of myself with you so that I’d be able to hear if you were in danger. I couldn’t let you wander into unknown territory alone, could I?”
“Eh . . . well-” I didn’t know where to start. It was too weird. But it was kind of sweet. But it was an invasion of privacy. But . . . what else had he heard?!
“Calm down. It only works when I’m in semi-close range, which is why I’ve been enjoying it so much.”
“Well, I’m not in danger now, so take it out!”
“I don’t know . . . it’s too much fun. And I believe it’s come in handy so far.”
I grabbed the collar of his frilly under-blouse and pulled his face in menacingly. “TAKE IT OUT!”
He laughed. “You’re scary, my cherry pit.”
I gripped his collar tighter and stared him down with a most murderous expression.
He shrugged in defeat. “Alas, I must do as you say; I cannot bear to have you angry at me.”
Whatever! You love having me angry at you!
He chuckled. “See, that’s the sort of thing I’ll miss. You’ll have to start saying things like that out loud.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“You want me out, eh? Well, one more kiss and it’s a deal.” He pinched my chin softly.
“Not a chance.”
“Well, it was worth a shot. Hold still.”
He brought his hand to my head, flickered to shadow, and plunged it in. The violated feeling grew. My head became tingly.
Ardette pretended to struggle, swishing his shadow around frenziedly while wearing an expression of faux worry. “Hm, it seems I can’t find it.”
“Bull.”
He laughed, but his laugh wasn’t at full force. The act was starting to fatigue him.
“Okay,” he said, disappointed. “I’ve got it. Want me to swirl you up a bit before I leave?”
“No!”
The look I gave him was threatening enough. He pulled his hand out of my head and then shut his eyes and took in a few shallow breaths.
“I must be tired,” he said in a huff. “That took a lot more out of me than usual.”
But I wasn’t sympathetic with his tired state. I grabbed his ear and pulled it towards the moonlight, inspecting it for missing oddities.
“Easy. It’s back, see.” He pointed to his lobe. It seemed to be complete.
“But how can I be sure there aren’t other parts of you missing?”
He smiled. “You can check.” He started to lift his shirt.
“No!” I pushed his hands down. “Ardette, seriously. I’m trusting you. You better not still be in here.” I pointed to my temple.
“Right, right. I know.” He was still breathing in short breaths.
Thank Creator that’s over with. I hoped my thoughts were really safe. I’d probably remain on my guard just to be sure.
“Well then, I suppose you’ll be wanting to discuss your beloved now?” His tone was thick and disgusted. I ignored it.
“What exactly’s going on with me? Or rather, with us? Do you know?” I eagerly studied his face, hoping to get some sort of reasoning for the warmth’s new aggression.
“Unfortunately, I do, but I’m afraid it won’t make you happy.”
Uh
-oh. “What is it?”
He swallowed sleepily before answering. “You’re probably already aware that he’s been willingly giving you his spirit, no? Well, it’s more than that.”
“More?” I asked, searching his now-sleepy face.
“I fear that your Elf might be an emulator.”
“An emulator?” Is that bad? I’d never heard of such a thing.
He nodded. “I believe he awoke along with your song, and if that’s the case, he might very well lose his sanity soon.”
“Oh, come off it.” I rolled my eyes, angry that he was playing with such a delicate topic.
But Ardette shook his head. “I promise you I am being entirely serious,” he said. Indeed, his tone reflected his words.
“What? That’s a sick joke!” Panicked, I grabbed Ardette’s sleeve, but he didn’t seem to be toying with me. His eyes bore into mine, and there was a hint of pity. “Lose . . . his . . . sanity?” I said, voice shaking.
Ardette placed his hand on my shoulder. “Until we know more, this’ll be our little secret, all right, my cherry pit?”
Chapter 2: The Child
“You are doing it again, Miss Havoc.”
“Er- doing what?”
Nyte sighed. “Keeping a distance.”
It was the next morning. We’d be reaching Crystair soon. Ardette hadn’t elaborated on the ‘emulator’ thing at all, but he insisted it was only because he didn’t know much himself, anyway. In contrast to the warm night air, the day was chilly. I’d pulled myself into the hood of my cloak, trying to also hide from things other than the wind.
I peeked up at Nyte and said, “It’s best if I stay away from you for now. It seems an evil destructress can only cause others pain.” My tone was light, but I was only half-joking.
“You wish to stay away from me?” Nyte’s face fell for a moment but then returned at full determination. That familiar spirit was at the epicenter of his eyes. “I will not allow that. I will fight to make sure things do not get out of hand.”
But now it’s more than just ‘out of hand’. I might be driving you mad!
“Listen, I-”
But he suddenly stiffened and put out his hand to stop me, blocking the apology from escaping my desperate lips. Something was wrong.