by Addison Jane
Meyah leaped up onto her knees, looking down at me with worry.
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. “I think you’re gonna need to go find Skins to help.”
She nodded quickly and jumped off the side of the bed, hurrying to the door.
“Meyah!”
Stopping, she looked over her shoulder with a teasing grin, telling me she knew exactly what she was doing. “Put some clothes on?” she questioned with a raised eyebrow.
I shrugged, cringing as pain shot through me. “Only if you want. I was just gonna say try not to drip cum down the hall, someone might slip.”
She rolled her eyes and laughed, turning for the bathroom. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
“Love you,” I called, wondering if I should attempt to put some clothes on.
How many times is Leo gonna kill me if he knows I pulled my stitches fucking his niece?
Too many.
“Can you grab my pants?”
“I’m glad you’re heading back.”
I looked up, frowning at my mom who was standing in the doorway watching me pack.
“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion as I turned back to my suitcase, trying to meticulously arrange everything so it fits perfectly, knowing I was heading back to college with more stuff than I’d come home with.
I’d slowly been moving all my stuff over there, even though I didn’t have a lot of room in mine and Dakota’s dorm room, but knowing at the end of the year, we were going to look at getting an apartment together close to campus.
“Thought for sure with the way Ham dropped you off this morning that the two of you had got back together,” she explained, walking in and taking a seat at the edge of my bed.
I smiled. “We did get back together.”
She didn’t respond for a couple of seconds. And I wished she’d chosen to just not talk at all.
“You haven’t talked about you catching your flight back to Arizona tomorrow, have you?”
It had been something I’d been trying to avoid for the past two days which we’d spent together.
What the hell were we going to do?
Neither of us had mentioned it.
For me, it was because I didn’t want our time together to turn to shit like it had been for months now. What I’d realized after everything that had happened between us was, we could get through anything. And although he was going to do things that drove me fucking nuts at times, and probably likewise, we could work through them.
My mom started to laugh. It was condescending and annoyed the hell out of me.
She opened her mouth to speak, but I held up my hand, not giving a shit about the way her eyes flashed with anger toward my disrespect. “Please don’t make some stupid comment about the worth of a biker, or how stupid he is, or how it would never work. I don’t want to fucking hear it.”
She gasped. “Meyah!”
“Yes, apparently college gave me a potty mouth,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “I’m sorry, okay. Mom, listen, I love you, but I love him, too. And I love the club. And I love school. I’m being pulled in a million different directions right now, and it would be really nice to have you on my team.”
She sighed, reaching out and placing one of her hands over mine. “I am on your team. There are just mistakes I made, that I don’t want you to make because of how much I know they’ll hurt.”
I walked around the bed to stand in front of her. “Mom, I need to make my own mistakes. But trust me when I tell you that being with Hamlet is not one of them.”
I could see some kind of sadness in her eyes as she looked up at me. I wasn’t sure what it was. Whether it was because she’d been burned so many times before or whether she was just petrified of losing me.
My mom had always been this strong woman, at least, what I thought was strong at the time. I’d started to realize what I saw as strong was a woman who was broken, and just fighting to keep the little bits of her life she had left, and that made her happy, all together in one jar. Even if that meant not living her life to the fullest—or even living at all.
I wanted her to go out, experience life, be that person I saw in the photo. She looked so happy. So free. I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to her.
“Do you know who Denver’s dad is?” The second the question came out of my mouth, she was on her feet and heading for the door. “Mom.”
“No, Meyah,” she threw back, barely turning her body to face me. I saw her hand shaking, though, and I took a couple of steps toward her before she held it up to stop me. “I don’t want to talk about this. It’s done.”
I’d hit a sore spot, and I instantly felt sad as she flew out of the room like there was some dark memory nipping at her ass.
I sat back on the bed, pulling my hair back from my face as I debated whether I should go after her and push the topic, knowing that was what broke her silence last time. I couldn’t, though. It wasn’t up to me to force her to tell that story. Especially when I could see it caused her so much pain.
Denver would ask the question when and if he ever decided he wanted to know. I just hope she learned from this experience and was honest about it with him.
Even if nothing came of mine and Huntsman’s relationship, there was still a lot of satisfaction in knowing who he was. That he was there, and what I did with that information was up to me, not anybody else.
The rumble of a motorcycle instantly sent a buzz through me, and I knew it was Ham even without looking out the window. I’d got to know the way each bike sounded a little different, and on top of that, how each rider rode.
Uncle Leo always slowed down well before our driveway, whereas Ham liked to floor it and pull up to the curb at speed. I smiled to myself as I got off the bed and jogged down the stairs.
Ham idled at the curb while I grabbed my coat from the living room. “Mom! I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” I pulled the front door open and jogged down the front steps, grinning the entire way. I took the helmet he held out to me and placed it on my head, using his shoulder to help as I placed my foot on the peg and threw my leg over the back of the bike, settling in behind him nice and snug.
Taking one last look at the house, I saw my mom in the window, her hand over her mouth like she was crying. It stopped my heart for a moment, and I wondered if I should go back. I never meant to make her upset or for her to think I didn’t love her.
I just wanted to feel like she was on my side for once, cheering me on, wanting me to be happy, whether it was on my own or with Ham. I wanted us to be able to chat and talk about things, and not feel like she was constantly trying to protect me, or stop me from stepping forward, scared I wouldn’t make it or that I’d get hurt. I wanted her not to have to worry about me, to be happy that I was happy, but to still be there if I fell or if I needed advice.
This wasn’t about me not needing her anymore. This was about her taking a new role in my life.
I held on tightly to Ham as we pulled away, making a note to text Uncle Leo and see if he will go around and check on Mom. Maybe for once she’ll talk to him. She doesn’t realize just how much good that could do for her.
I wasn’t sure where Ham was driving until he pulled up at the little bridge which overlooked the creek and horse track. The place where I’d made him pull over the first time he’d taken me for a ride. He let me climb off before turning off the engine and kicking out the stand. Placing the helmet on the back of the bike, I couldn’t help but smile and shake my head. “Look at you, being all cute and stuff.”
He chuckled. “This is all I have to do to make you think I’m being cute and shit? Dang. And I spent money on flowers and shit.” My smile only grew wider as I walked over to the edge and looked down at the horse track below. “Your mom didn’t look all that happy when we pulled away. Everything okay?”
His arms slipped around my waist from behind, and I leaned back into his body. It was so good to have someone there to lean on. Not just someone, him.
While I’d
fought the past few months to stand on my own and not rely on anyone, it didn’t change the fact knowing he was there if I did need a break, or if I did need support, was worth a lot. I decided it was time to rip off the Band-Aid.
We were together, so we needed to face our problems together. Stronger together than we were apart.
“I fly back to Arizona tomorrow.”
His arms pulled me in a little tighter, and he let out a heavy sigh. “I know.”
I almost laughed.
Of course, he knows.
I turned in his arms, hooking my hands around his neck and raising my eyebrow. “Why didn’t you say anything? I thought we’d be at it, arguing about how I belonged here, and how Arizona’s too far away, and how you and I both have responsibilities which will make it hard to fly often.”
“Is our argument done now?” he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching, telling me he’d thought about this just as much as I had. Yet, he hadn’t asked me to stay or assumed I was. “Don’t look at me like I’m suddenly an asshole for not demanding you leave the school you love, these new friends, new experiences, and the opportunities a school like that can give you.
That was exactly it. That was my whole argument for me going back in a nutshell. Thinking he was going to lose his shit and fight to keep me here.
“You’re okay with me going back?” I asked nervously, my fingers messing his hair, enjoying the different lengths and textures.
“Am I a selfish bastard who wants to keep you to myself? Fuck, yes, I am.” His hands tightened on my body like if I tried to move right now he’d throw me over his shoulder and go all out caveman. “But I don’t want to hold you back.”
I was already shaking my head with a frown, but he pressed two fingers to my lips, stopping me from arguing.
“If things hadn’t been this way, and you’d stayed here, you would still be relying on me, and the club and other people, to give you the boost you need, or to teach you how to be the perfect Old Lady. But instead, you did it all on your own. You became this amazing woman I’m not sure you could have found any other way.” He grabbed each side of my face and pulled my lips to his, pressing against them softly, my eyes drifting closed as his hands trailed down my body.
I licked my lips as he moved to my cheek and my jaw, and I uttered the words that had been twisting my stomach in knots for two days. “I don’t want to lose you again.”
That was my biggest fear.
That saying… distance makes the heart grow stronger?
I think that’s total bullshit.
Distance from Ham made my heart ache.
And just thinking of leaving him again when I thought we’d finally reached a point where this was no longer puppy love, it made my chest ache. I wasn’t a little girl with a crush anymore, and Ham wasn’t treating me like one and trying to protect me from everything.
We’d found us.
We’d been apart, but we’d grown stronger.
He pulled back, his eyes flashing suddenly and he grabbed my hips, tugging them in so I was pressed right against him. “We didn’t go through all this bullshit just to let this go, Meyah. This is it as far as I’m concerned, there’s no way in hell I’m taking another Old Lady. Distance or no distance… we will work this shit out. Then when you’re done with college, I’m gonna put my babies in that belly of yours, and we’re gonna have a bunch of fucking kids.”
My mouth fell open, and I stared at him, my eyes welling while I tried not to laugh or cry or even move in case I fell to pieces.
He dipped his head, pressing a kiss to my cheek and catching a stray tear that managed to slip by my defenses. Then he pulled back and looked me in the eye while he licked it off his lips. “I’m done fucking fighting, Meyah. Would I rather you here with me? Fuck, yes. But what’s more important is that you’re happy, and as your old man, it’s my job to make you fucking happy. And if that means I have to fly to Arizona every damn weekend. Okay. It is what it is.”
I swallowed back the emotional lump in my throat and ran my hands down the front of his body, tracing the patches on his club cut with my fingers, wanting to memorize them. How they looked. How they felt. “It’s gonna be hard.”
“Just because a relationship is easy, doesn’t mean it’s good.” He grinned, brushing my hair back from my face. “It’s about trust, honesty, hard work, and there will probably be days where it will be fucking hell to be across the country from you.”
It would be.
I knew this. I’d been trying to avoid it for days, weeks even, since I really knew in my heart he couldn’t have done what I’d imagined he’d done.
I knew in my gut.
I know him.
“But better a day in hell with you than in heaven with anybody else,” I interjected with a smile.
We’d make it work.
“Fucking right, fury fists. Fucking right.”
“You know, I assumed college was going to be more drinking, less homework,” Dakota groaned as we trudged back to our dorms, our criminal psychology class having drained every little part of our brain cells. I’d only been back a little over a week, and I was already struggling.
I wanted to go home to my man at night. Tell him how much college life sucked and have him screw my brains out and make me feel better.
“How did you even survive high school?” Crew chuckled, shaking his head.
“Uh… just like everyone else did?” She skipped ahead, turning to face us and walking backward. “You know, illegal drinking, making out with boys at parties, and cramming the night before tests.”
I snorted loudly and threw my hands up in the air. “Why am I not even surprised?”
Dakota was just one of those people who could write assignments the night before, and cram until midnight and then get up the next morning and ace the test. As much as I loved Dakota, people like her annoyed me. It took me a lot of focus and time studying to really pick something up. And I worked damn hard at it. And I would continue to keep working at it until I got where I wanted to be.
“We have a month to write this paper. So unlike you, I’ll be going inside to…” my words trailed off as the path opened up to our dormitories, and I stopped at the curb, my eyes catching the light sparkling off the motorcycle which was parked in the loading zone across the street. With Huntsman leaning against it.
Crew stopped beside me, hiking his bag up further on his shoulder and standing a little taller, Dakota freezing also, and frowning at the obvious confusion on my face before looking over her shoulder. “You want me to tell him to go take a running jump off a tall cliff?” she sneered, my five-foot-nothing friend looking utterly unafraid of the deadly looking biker.
I took a deep breath, allowing my friends to flank me as we made our way across the road.
He spotted us coming but didn’t move a muscle, continuing to relax back like he didn’t have a care in the world. A pair of dark shades covered his eyes, and his mouth was set in a serious hard-line which seemed to be his signature look, and had other students who were entering the dorms look as though they might call the police.
“I’ll be fine. You guys go ahead.” I wasn’t scared of him. He didn’t intimidate me, and I definitely didn’t get the vibe at any time that he’d hurt me.
Maybe it was because I’d spent so much time with bikers—my uncle, Optimus, Blizzard—because they all had that exact look, that same stare and a don’t fuck with me aura.
“I’ll head up to the boys’ room in case you want some privacy,” Dakota noted.
Her and Crew both watched Huntsman with narrowed eyes as they kept walking and ducked inside the building, while I stepped up onto the curb and folded my arms across my chest. “Anyone ever tell you it’s rude to show up unannounced?”
He turned his head just slightly, finally acknowledging me before he stood to his full height. This man was the epitome of confidence and swagger. Just the way he held himself told you everything you needed to know about him, including how you shou
ld stay well the fuck away from him.
I was nothing like him. But I couldn’t help but wonder how I could have been different had I had him in my life.
He walked the few feet to where I was waiting, obviously completely unaware of all the stares and whispers and college students with their noses pressed up against the door room windows. “Anyone ever tell you it’s rude to disrespect your elders?”
“What are you doing here?” I fired back, not wanting to just stand around and make a scene. He obviously didn’t give two shits who looked at him sideways, but I didn’t need my entire dorm sticking their noses in my personal business.
He reached behind him, pulling a small white envelope from his pocket and holding it up.
I quickly snatched it out of his hand. “Can we do this inside, please?” I hissed. “People are going start assuming things.” I quickly made a beeline for the door. After a few tense seconds, I heard his heavy footsteps behind me. People eyed me warily as I rushed down the hall with him on my tail, and opened Dakota’s and my dorm room, holding the door and tapping my foot impatiently as he took his time stepping inside. I slammed the door behind him, but the man didn’t even damn-well flinch.
I finally took a deep breath and looked down at the envelope which was crumpled in my hand. It was still sealed.
“You haven’t opened it, yet?” I asked with a frown. I would have thought he would have wanted to know right away, and this visit would have been entirely different if he’d found out that I wasn’t his.
He turned to me, lifting his sunglasses and placing them on his head. His club cut was well worn, the patches fraying at the edges, the leather a little discolored and patchy in places due to how much sun it saw, and how it was probably the same club cut he’d been wearing since he was a prospect. His club cut wasn’t something that gets replaced unless it’s seriously damaged. The men were expected to look after it and respect it. Their colors were treasured. They were never tossed on the ground. They were never given to anyone else to look after or clean or sew on patches. They did it all themselves.
“I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that you’re mine,” he finally answered, his voice gruff but not as hard. The tone was different, and it was unexpected. I raised my eyebrow, but that seemed to flick his hard-ass attitude back on. “Just open the damn thing and tell me what it says.”