“I shall ask it again, who is your—”
“Lower your voice some, will ya?” I moaned, wincing with each word as they reverberated through my skull. “I’m in charge of this group.”
“A woman?” he said with an eyebrow raised.
My head instantly cleared.
“Is that a problem?” I asked, giving him the old ‘I dare you to say something bad to me right now’ look.
“Aside from you being a woman, you mean?”
“Piper,” Reaper said, “keep your cool so we can get out of this.”
I glared at my partner but bit my lip.
“What is it you want, your magyness?” I snarled as I turned back to the sexist old coot. “Shall I fetch you a cup of tea? Do your laundry, maybe? Do you need some shirts pressed, by chance?”
He seemed taken aback by my words. Obviously, he wasn’t used to strong women.
“Actually, my robes could use a good ironing,” he mused. “Alas, that is not in the cards. You will be taken to our leader and dealt with according to the Practices of Surrender.” The old guy then leaned in slightly. “You are surrendering, I assume?”
“That depends,” I replied. “What do the Practices of Surrender say, exactly?”
He looked me over appraisingly. “An excellent question, young lady.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty clever,” I replied. “Don’t let the breasts fool you.”
“Indeed. Well, the Practices of Surrender stipulate that you shall be executed.”
Why was I not surprised? It wasn’t like these guys had any sense at all, and it was doubtful Keller planned on bringing in new recruits at this point in his venture.
“So you want me to surrender, knowing that my fate is to be killed anyway?”
“You are rather sensible, for a lady,” he replied.
Standing behind him, just outside the door, was a young woman who was clearly just as irritated by his words as I was. I knew this because her eyes were twitching something fierce and she was staring at the back of the old mage’s head so menacingly that I wondered if his brain might melt. Based upon the discussion over the last few minutes, though, I had my doubts that there was anything in the man’s skull anyway.
“Now,” Grandpa Mage said in a very patronizing voice, “why don’t you come along like a good little girl so nobody gets hurt?”
“Will you please kill this fucker?” Agnes broadcasted to the team. “I swear, Piper, if I weren’t a turtle I’d have castrated his geriatric ass by now.”
“Come on, princess,” the mage coaxed. “It’s not worth worrying your pretty little head over.”
“That’s it,” I said, taking a step toward him.
But before I even got there, the guard who was standing behind the old pig knocked him on the back of his head with the butt of her weapon.
He fell forward with a crash.
Honestly, I had not seen that coming.
The other mage obviously hadn’t either, as he gawked at the woman, his face slowly morphing into a mixture of anger and fear.
“He’s an asshole,” she barked while giving the other mage a challenging look. “I’m tired of his sexist shit.”
“But he’s on our side, young…” The mage swallowed hard as she turned to fully face him. “I mean, honored guard.”
“He’s not on my side,” she said. “He treats all women like they’re second-class citizens.”
“Well, technically...” was all the second mage was able to get out before she knocked him to the ground too.
By now, Brazen had picked up his gun and was moving it back and forth between the guards in the doorway. They were all too transfixed on the scene of the fallen mages to notice, though. That gave me time to snatch up my gun as well. Kix now also had his.
“Pricks,” the woman hissed. Then, she looked up at us and frowned. “For fuck’s sake. You’re not going to win. Just put your guns down or we’ll have to kill you all.”
“You’re planning to execute us anyway,” I challenged her.
“No,” she replied, “just you. The others will be given the option to join us.”
Kix went to set his gun down.
“What the fuck are you doing?” asked Brazen.
Kix stood back up. “Sorry, I thought we were going to…” He looked from face to face. “Sorry.”
“Thoughts, anyone?” I prompted before everyone jumped on Kix for being an idiot. “Any ideas that may buy us some time?”
“Kill them all, I’d say.”
“You sure have a violent little turtle there, Reap,” I pointed out.
“You phnur have a fniolent fnlittle fnurtle fnere, Fnreap,” Agnes mocked in response.
“She’s pretty childish, too.”
“I’ll show you childish, you two-bit—”
“Agnes,” interrupted Reaper, “that is more than enough. What have we said about your blurting issues?” She didn’t reply. “If you ever wish to have those spinach leaves that you love so much again, I’d recommend you apologize to Piper this instant.”
“Okay, okay,” Agnes yelped in response. Then, with what sounded like a fair bit of effort, she said, “I’m sorry, Piper.”
Amazing what a little motivation could do.
“So what’s it going to be, people?” asked the lady guard as her weapon came up, bringing my attention back to the task at hand. “You want to die here or up on floor two?”
“Well,” I replied, “I first want to say that knocking those two idiots out was great.”
“They had it coming,” she replied as if it were nothing.
“Couldn’t agree more. But there’s some information you don’t know. Pecker?”
The woman’s nostrils flared. “I know a lot about pecker, thank you very much. Just because I’m a strong woman doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian.”
“What?” I said, and then rolled my eyes. “No, our lead technician over there,”—I pointed across the room—“his name is Pecker.”
“Ah.”
“Just about finished,” Pecker announced and then he pressed a final button. “There.”
The guard squinted. “What did he just do?”
A voice sounded over the loudspeaker, letting the entire building know what our resident goblin had done.
SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED. YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES TO EVACUATE THE BUILDING.
“Well, that changes things,” announced the woman. She spun back to the rest of her crew. “Let’s get the hell out of here!”
“What about them?” asked another, pointing at the fallen mages.
“They’re big, burly men,” she snorted. “They don’t need a bunch of little women helping them out.”
Chapter 29
We ran out of Pecker’s office, filing in along with Keller’s fleeing guards. At this point, it was every person for themselves. There were no agendas beyond survival.
Guns were thrown on the ground along with backpacks. Speed was imperative, and being stuck carrying too much baggage would accomplish nothing but slowing a person down. With a countdown going, being slow meant death.
“Guys,” Kix yelled at us, “wouldn’t it be better for us to take the elevator we came down on?”
We skidded to a halt and moved off to the side.
“I thought you said the mages destroyed it?” asked Reaper.
“The ladder was intact when we left,” Brazen noted.
I looked back at the guards, who were now pushing and fighting to get up the stairwell. There wasn’t much chance for us to get out that way.
THE BUILDING WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN EIGHT MINUTES.
“Go!” I yelled as I ran back toward Kix’s position.
He split and hit the meeting room before we could. When we arrived, Kix was rousing Earl and Carol, giving them at least a chance to survive all of this.
“Who are you?” Carol asked, looking confused.
“We’re PPD officers,” I answered. “The building is under a self-destruct code. You need to get
out of here.”
“Yeah, right,” Earl scoffed. “Like I’m going to fall for—”
THE BUILDING WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN SEVEN MINUTES.
“Shit,” finished Earl.
They got up and took off out of the room.
“They’ll never make it going that way,” Reaper pointed out.
“Sorry, Reap,” I replied as Pecker, Brazen, and Kix worked on getting the elevator doors open. “They chose to be a part of the bad guy’s network. You play the game and there’s a good chance you’re going to lose.”
The door edged open and we found that the elevator had essentially been crushed. This was a good thing since it left the ladder perfectly accessible. There was no need to climb up through the lift to get to it.
“Move it,” I commanded, directing Kix to go first.
Brazen and Pecker followed along next, scurrying up the ladder. After them was Methkins. How he was going to make it up without having a coronary was beyond me…so I was shocked when he sped up that ladder like there was a free bag of Columbian Gold at the top.
“Go ahead,” said Reaper as he was double-checking the safety of his beloved turtled. “I’ll be right there.”
I started climbing.
THE BUILDING WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN FIVE MINUTES.
When I got to the level where the chief’s office was, I noticed that the doors had been broken, which meant they were wide open.
I could see directly in.
There was mayhem as Keller’s goons did their best to get out of the building.
My guess was they’d be running out into an ambush, but that was only if Chief Carter and the rest of the PPD had survived the crowd that had been heading toward them.
I still had a bad feeling about that.
That’s when a thought hit me. If Keller was still on this floor, it would be the perfect opportunity to shoot his sorry ass. Nobody would be worried about protecting him at the moment.
THE BUILDING WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN FOUR MINUTES.
With a careful leap, I jumped the chasm between the ladder and the doors and pulled myself inside.
The door to the office was open and I could see straight across to the portal. Standing on it, wearing a long green robe and looking like the pompous douche that he was, stood Keller.
His eyes locked on mine.
I felt myself grow instantly weak. He, too, staggered slightly, but somehow maintained his resolve until he faded from view.
The portal had fired off for him.
I collapsed, struggling to breathe.
THE BUILDING WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN THREE MINUTES.
Chapter 30
Reaper pulled me to my feet a moment later, pushing healing energy into my veins. I didn’t need much before I was back to normal, and he didn’t look any worse for wear either.
“What the fuck just happened?” I asked.
“No time to figure it out,” he replied, pushing me back toward the ladder.
THE BUILDING WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TWO MINUTES.
I leaped across the divide and started climbing like mad. A quick glance down told me that Reaper was right on my heels. Above me were the faces of Brazen, Kix, Methkins, and Pecker.
They pulled me out of that elevator shaft as if I were a feather. Reaper wasn’t much more of a struggle.
“Now, Harvey,” Pecker called through the connector as the last of us got onto the helidrone. “Hit the button now!”
The drone’s central blade began to whirr, but it seemed to be having trouble getting up into the air.
“Fuck bananas,” Pecker stormed. “We’re carrying too much weight.”
Methkins was the latest addition to the squad. He’d not been on the original flight, of course, and taking on his extra pounds was obviously more than this drone could manage.
“I’ll stay,” announced Reaper, but I pulled him back and jumped off.
The drone started going up.
“What are you doing?” Reaper called out to me in shock.
“I’m the leader of this team, Reap,” I stated. “Now, get everyone else to safety.”
“But, Piper—”
“Don’t worry, Reap,” I interrupted. “I’m immortal, remember?”
The drone was getting higher and higher as I ran to the back of the roof, hurling myself through the air toward a mass of bushes that lined the back yard.
This was going to hurt.
Chapter 31
And it did hurt—a lot, in fact. There was no doubt I’d broken my right leg and my left clavicle, and I was pretty sure I’d snapped a few ribs as well.
The leg, clavicle, and ribs would heal in a few minutes, but I was too close to the building to allow for a few minutes. The place was going to go up in flames at any moment. If my body got blown to bits, immortality wouldn’t do me much good.
With a loud cry, I began dragging myself away as fast as I could.
It hurt like hell.
“Piper,” Reaper called through the connector, “are you okay?”
“Never been better,” I groaned in response. “A few broken bones, is all. Just trying to get as far from the goddamn building as possible.”
“You should be fine,” Pecker said. “It’s not the kind of self-destruct you think it is.”
“What?” said Reaper.
“Yeah, what?” I added.
“It should be going in three…two…one…now!”
I turned to watch, thinking that I may as well enjoy the light show at the end of my life.
The building bulged an instant before it squashed in on itself. There was a rumbling on the ground that shook me like a rag doll for a good five seconds, but then everything went still.
“It imploded,” I said with a sense of relief. “Clever.”
“The thought process was that an explosion would take out other buildings in the area, but an implosion would only affect the PPD.” Pecker then added, “It was created long before I ever got here, but it was the first thing I was taught when I was being trained to take over.”
It figured that through all the years the PPD had stood in the Netherworld, there’d been no need to set the self-destruct on the damn place until I was on duty.
“Chief,” I said through a direct connection, expecting the worst, “is everything okay?”
“We’re all fine,” he replied. “Well, there are a few casualties, but no more cops were killed. Your boys Cletus and Merle did a bang-up job as snipers against some of Keller’s mages, too. Never seen the like. They struck targets through the windows of the PPD building like they were only five feet away. It was absolutely incredible, to be honest.”
“Huh,” I said. “Who knew?”
“I’m hoping their chief knows. I’m sure going to write a letter of commendation on their behalf, anyway.”
“So, wait…” I said, feeling baffled. “What happened with the crowd that was coming your way?”
“All leaders of the different factions,” he answered. “They’d learned what was going on and didn’t want to see the Netherworld fall under the reign of Keller.”
“Well…damn.”
“Precisely how I felt, Piper,” he said. “I’d expected one hell of a fight, so I was quite pleased when they turned out to be on our side.”
Sometimes the supernatural community confused the hell out of me. One day they’d do their best to rip each other to shreds, the next day they’d team up and combine their strengths to save the town.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend, as the saying went.
“We’ve also arrested a bunch of Keller’s crew as they fled out of the building,” the chief added. “They’ll be doing a lot of time, thanks to the work of you and your crew, Piper.”
“Super,” I replied with a wince as my leg began going through its healing process. “Keller made it out, Chief,” I added. “Saw him go through the portal. He couldn’t have cared less about saving any of his goons, either.”
“Not surprising,” the chief said. �
��He does think he’s a god, after all.”
“Yeah.”
“Get over here as soon as you can,” the chief commanded. “We have a lot to sift through.”
“Will do, Chief.”
Reaper and the rest of my crew came running toward me. The looks of worry on their faces was endearing. They all knew I was pretty resilient, but they could obviously see that the pain I was suffering wasn’t fun.
And they were right.
“It’ll pass,” I said, waving at them dismissively. “Just going through the healing process now, and that’s usually worse than the original damage.”
“Thanks for doing what you did, Piper,” Methkins said, unable to look me in the eye. “If it wasn’t for me, the drone would have lifted for you and—”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I interrupted. “Just let it go, Meth. That’s what PPD officers do for each other.”
“Speaking of which,” Reaper said, kneeling down, “let me heal you.”
I pushed him away. “It’s okay, Reap. I’m just about done as it is.”
Then I let my head fall back into the grass while my body finished up repairs. Sometimes it was a good thing to feel the pain. It reminded you of what those without immortality dealt with on a day-to-day basis.
Chapter 32
The PPD was being housed in a temporary building while construction crews toiled away to get a new place up and running.
That’d be months away, though.
Reaper and I sat in Chief Carter’s temporary office, discussing the situation.
“The mole was one of the cleaning crew,” the chief said with a long sigh.
“Who?” Reaper replied, his glowing eyes wide with shock.
“Deagan.”
“The guy with the eye patch?” I asked.
The chief nodded sagely. “Always seemed like a nice, quiet fellow.”
Major Feeding: A Piper & Payne Supernatural Thriller (Netherworld Paranormal Police Department Book 4) Page 10