by Shaw, Rhonda
Even as she struggled against the contradictions in her mind, she saw his profile relax as he looked up at the darkening sky. She desperately needed his lips against hers, to sink slowly into what she knew would be a mind-blowing kiss.
“You’re quiet,” he said after a few moments of silence.
Nighttime was falling, providing cover as the dark shadows started to overtake them while the stars popped against the darkening canvas of the sky. The moon was shining brightly, a giant glowing orb with an orange hue. All around them, invisible night creatures were starting to rustle, their nightly musical concert getting ready to begin. A couple of frogs croaked in tune in the distance and it made her smile.
Chase caught her. “What are you smiling about?”
“The frogs.”
“The frogs?”
“Yeah. They’re just so funny, don’t you think? I mean what else can say ‘ribbit’ with a straight face?”
“I have to admit I’ve never really thought about it before,” he said. “Or frogs in general, for that matter.”
She shrugged. “It’s another strange thing about me.”
A few minutes of silence passed between them before she spoke again.
“I was thinking,” Maddie said in a low voice, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness around them. “You’re right. The quiet does help inspire the contemplation of life.”
“Let me guess, you were contemplating how to tell me we can’t continue this. Am I right?”
“You’re a very smart man.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t say ‘boy’ or ‘young man,’” Chase said, his voice tinged with humor, trying for levity, but there was frustration laced with it. He removed his arm from behind her and leaned forward on his knees as he looked back at her. “So, let me have it.”
Maddie looked at him and prepared to launch into all the reasons why they shouldn’t continue seeing each other, but as she gazed into his deep brown eyes, she felt all of her arguments slip away. She didn’t want to say what she’d been so ready to spill. It would have all been a lie anyway since she knew she wanted nothing more than to be with him. Even if she denied herself this one night, she couldn’t resist him for long. She wanted to see him again and be around him whenever she could. It wouldn’t be nearly enough to have him in her life only when he spent time with Bree.
It was then that she let herself fall. She was sick of living in the past and tired of being scared. Tired of not getting what she wanted because of her own self-doubts. Who cares if they weren’t the traditional couple? It was time she took a risk in life rather than going along at a slow, safe pace, keeping a cautious distance from anything that was a gamble. Given the hell that Lenore was going to give her once she found out, Maddie figured Chase was well worth the risk. If he made her happy, that was all that mattered.
“Kiss me, Chase.”
His eyes flashed dark and intense as the initial shock passed over his face. His throat moved as he swallowed and slowly sat up. She didn’t waver, not even under the pressure of his intense stare. There was such a loud buzzing in her head that if he said something to her, she would never be able to hear him. She couldn’t breathe since her chest felt tight and constricted from nerves and anticipation, and she hoped she wouldn’t pass out and make a fool of herself. She fought through the light-headedness by taking deep, steady breaths as she waited.
Whatever Chase was looking for, he must have found it before he leaned down into her. Her breath caught in her throat when his face was mere inches from her, so close she could smell the sweet scent of the beer he’d had with dinner over the woodsy scent of his cologne. Her eyes fluttered, threatening to close when his hand gently cupped her cheek and her heart gave a hard, heavy thud as it rolled over in her chest. He hesitated, gauging her reaction and expecting her to bring things to a screeching halt, but she looked boldly at him. It felt suffocating to do so as she watched him battle between proceeding gently and releasing everything. If it weren’t for the blazing fire of intensity in his eyes, she never would have guessed him to be anything but calm and relaxed. It was such a stunning contrast.
He finally gave in and the gentle side won out, or maybe he’d waited until he had the unrestrained side under control, she couldn’t be sure. His lips touched hers tentatively at first, but then he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.
The first touch of his warm lips felt like bliss to her and when he pulled her gently to him, her heart took off for the races and her blood began to boil. She threw her arms around his neck and tugged as she tried to mold herself against him. Although she was aghast at her uninhibited response, especially in public, Maddie couldn’t stop herself. She needed to feel him all over, wanted his hands and mouth everywhere.
Chase felt the quick change in her and responded in kind. Rough hands framed her face before he plunged them into her hair and opened his mouth, his tongue seeking out hers. This was not a timid, young man fumbling with inexperience, but rather a confident man who knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it. She let him take her where he wanted and was more than willing to follow.
When he finally broke the kiss, he was breathless as he rested his forehead against hers. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”
Maddie felt a gurgle of laughter bubble up in her chest and bit her lips. She couldn’t believe what she was doing, finally letting herself go. It felt so freeing.
When the blood rushing through her head finally died down, the sounds of the creek and distant cars came back reminding her exactly where they were. Sitting back a bit, she looked up at him. “Uh, is your roommate home?”
His brows creased a bit. She could tell he didn’t want to make any assumptions about why she was asking. “No, I don’t think so,” he said simply.
Standing up, she looked down at him and held out her hand. “Let’s go.”
* * *
The car ride home was quiet as Chase wondered exactly what Maddie was expecting once they got back to his place. He knew what he hoped—or rather prayed—she wanted, but he didn’t want to assume anything that made him look like an ass. Maybe she just wanted to chill out and relax in private, and he was just being a horned-up guy hoping they could continue what they’d started in the park.
He’d been so sure she was going to tell him they couldn’t go out again, and so surprised when she’d told him to kiss her. He’d wanted to kiss her ever since that first day in the park, but he’d forced himself to ignore the need since he thought she was going to need further convincing. Apparently, she didn’t. What he didn’t know was how much further she wanted to take things. He was going to have to let her lead the way. He wanted her to trust him and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.
Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, Chase noticed how quiet Maddie had become, looking at the passing streets. She was obviously deep in thought. Maybe he was reading everything wrong. Maybe the kiss had been a major disappointment to her and she still wanted to end things, but she also wanted to make sure he didn’t leave her stranded somewhere after she told him to take a hike.
Putting the car in park outside his apartment, he looked at her questioningly, unsure of what to do next. Maddie smiled shyly at him. “Is Jerry home?”
Chase couldn’t see the single carport where Jerry parked his car from the street, but he glanced up the sidewalk to the front of house and didn’t see any lights on. He knew if Jerry were around, he’d be in the front room plopped in front of the TV playing some video game. “It doesn’t look like it.”
“Should we go in then?” she asked, opening the car door.
Chase took a deep breath and with his eyes following her as she walked in front of his car, shut off the engine before climbing out. He trailed behind her up the path to his door, giving her some space since he had no idea what was going
on in her mind and it was a little unsettling. She definitely didn’t seem to be acting like someone who was going to give him the heave-ho.
Holding the door open for Maddie, he stepped inside and threw his keys on the small table that stood next to the door. He stayed where he was and watched as she wandered into the middle of the room and looked around with interest.
He and Jerry had furnished their front room sparingly, since it was only temporary housing. A brown suede love seat sat in front of a glass coffee table covered with sports magazines, video games and a mix of empty beer bottles, pop cans and water bottles. A large flat panel TV hung on the wall across from the couch and a huge black beanbag chair sat on the floor to one side.
“Sorry. We weren’t expecting any guests,” he said with a small chuckle.
“That’s all right. I’m not expecting that we’re going to be out here for long.”
Chase cleared his throat as a warm flush spread across his skin, and wondered why all of a sudden he was nervous. She was acting so unpredictably that he wasn’t sure what to expect, even though he was pretty good at reading people. “Um, okay. I’ve got to admit you’ve got me baffled now.”
Maddie raised an eyebrow. “Baffled?”
“Yeah, I was expecting some big speech about how this is the only time we can go out, how you’re too old for me and blah, blah, blah and now that it hasn’t come, I’m a little confused.”
She gave him a steady look as she walked slowly over to stand in front of him. “Do you want the speech?”
“No.”
“Good.” Closing the gap between them, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, crushing his mouth with hers.
Quickly catching on, he lifted her up into his arms to diminish the height difference between them and walked them backward toward the couch, his lips never leaving hers. He sat her on the back of the couch, wrapping her legs around his waist as he threaded his fingers through her hair and ravaged her with a searing kiss. Hearing her soft moan only made his blood boil hotter as he tried to keep his head.
Knowing he needed to slow it down, that they were moving way too fast, things between them suddenly progressing at warp speed when it was a only few days ago he was trying to convince her to go on one date, Chase pulled back and lost his breath. Her cheeks were flushed a deep red and her lips bore a matching stain from his assault as they molded around her teeth in a lazy, pleased smile. Her normally crystal green eyes were now a deep dark sea green, warmed with passion, and her soft, lush hair flowed around her face, slightly mussed where his fingers had teased through it. Her chest heaved as she fought to steady her breathing, and he thought she looked like a siren sent from his dreams to seduce him and fulfill all of his fantasies. She’d never looked sexier and more beautiful to him.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, his voice low and husky.
“More than anything.” Maddie reached out to pull his mouth back down to hers, done with all the talk, but he stood just out of her reach. “What?” she asked with a faint scowl.
He eyed her intently and took a deep breath. “Look, I’m going to lay it out here. I’m all about honesty and being up front. I’m going to tell you like it is and I hope you’ll do the same. I don’t have time for the games and lies.”
She nodded, impatient with the continued conversation. “Agreed.”
“Okay, so...here it goes.” He took another deep breath, preparing to spill out his true feelings and praying she didn’t go white with fear. “I really like you, Maddie. I mean, really like you. I know everything is happening so quickly and I’ll be the first to admit I really don’t understand it, but I do know that I want things to work out between us and I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that happens, but you have to realize I’m not going to be around that much. You need to know that and you need to be able to trust me, otherwise it’s not going to work.”
Maddie dropped her hands from his neck as she looked at the ground by his feet. It would be their reality and she had even said so herself in one way or another, but it still was hard to accept. Could she give herself over completely to someone again and hope he was true in his intent, especially someone as young as he was? She would have to commit to this if she really wanted to give them a legitimate chance. Could she fully open herself up to being hurt again? If she didn’t do this now, would she ever be able to? Would she forever regret not trying with Chase and always wonder “what if”? Her eyes watered in frustration. She was annoyed that she continued to let Kyle influence her actions and decisions even all these years later. The jerk didn’t deserve any thoughts she wasted on him. He certainly didn’t give any to her or Bree.
Chase waited patiently for a few moments, but when she didn’t respond, he knew he had his answer. He sighed deeply not bothering to hide his disappointment and stood up straight. “That’s what I thought.”
Panic jumped in her throat when he backed away from her. It wasn’t what she wanted and that gave her a place to start. Before he could step away fully, she bunched her hands in his shirt and pulled him back. “No, don’t go.”
The sheen of her unshed tears reflected in the dim light of the room, but her voice sounded strong. Maddie reached out timidly and took one of his hands in hers. She struggled to put her thoughts into some semblance of order, but finally gave up and tried to speak from her heart.
“I’m a mess, I know.” Straightening up, she took in a deep, steadying breath. “I know what I have to do and I can honestly say I want to. I want to try. I know I was saying something completely different a few days ago, even a few hours ago, but I was lying to myself. I didn’t want to admit how much I liked you.”
“But that doesn’t mean you trust me,” Chase said simply.
“No, you’re right it doesn’t. I’m telling you right now though I want to try. I’m not going to trust you overnight nor would you trust me that quickly, but I want to try with you. I want you in my life more than the random times you play catch with my daughter.”
He let out the breath he’d been holding in a big rush. “Call me typical, but that’s good enough for me.”
Chapter Nine
Before Maddie could even react, Chase pulled her into his arms and shattered her with a devouring kiss. He didn’t hold back this time as he gripped her around the waist and pulled her tightly against him bending her backward. One hand palmed the back of her head, holding her in place as his tongue tangled feverishly with hers.
With one arm hooked around his neck, Maddie returned the heady hunger of his kiss. She worked her other hand down the front of his shirt, unbuttoning it, and when she’d finally reached the last button, she pushed the shirt aside and gave a muffled groan when she encountered his T-shirt. She ached to run her hands over his bare skin, to grab the tight muscles she could feel bunching beneath the thin fabric. She tugged at it impatiently and plunged her hand underneath, sliding her palms up and down his warm skin, across the taut ridges of his abs and over the soft happy trail that disappeared into his jeans.
He hissed a breath through his nose as he broke away from their kiss, ignoring her soft moan of protest. Hastily yanking off both of his shirts, Chase tossed them aside before reaching out and pulling her sweater over her head.
She softly trailed her fingertips across his beautiful chest, over his muscular shoulders and down his strong arms, the very image of strength and power. His skin was naturally tan, his forearms darker than the rest, with a clear line marking where the short sleeves of his uniform fell. A simple silver chain rested on his collarbone while sparse, dark hairs lightly covered his upper chest.
Enjoying how his skin tightened and tingled below her fingertips, he gently traced the thin straps of her white floral lace demi bra. He let his fingers trail softly down to outline the gentle swell of her breast delicately swaddled in the silky cup.
Feeling
his fingers continue down toward her stomach as his other hand reached behind her back to unclasp her bra shot Maddie back into reality. She jolted upright and crossed her arms in front of her chest, alarm quickly spreading across her face.
“What is it?” he asked with a frown, taken aback by her sudden distress.
“I’m not twenty-two,” she stammered.
“I know,” he said in confusion. “I thought we already went over the age thing?”
She shook her head briskly. “No, no. That’s not what I mean. I don’t have the body of a twenty-two year old. I’ve had a child, Chase.”
When realization sunk in, he rolled his eyes. “Stop it, Maddie. You’re beautiful.” He gently pried one of her arms away from her chest and kissed her fingertips. “Perfect.”
Chase slowly pulled away the other arm, ignoring the look of horror on her face, and again reached for the clasp. She squeezed her eyes shut as her bra came loose and he lightly pushed the straps down off her shoulders. She could only imagine how he’d react when he saw her breasts didn’t look as full and perky without support.
“You look like you’re expecting me to run away screaming or something,” he murmured before gently kissing the side of her neck.
Maddie unclenched her eyes, but didn’t open them, and tilted her neck to the side, exposing more area for his lips to explore. She sighed in contentment as he continued his trail of hot kisses down the side of her neck, sending tingles throughout her body. “I keep waiting for it.”
“You’re ridiculous,” he said softly.