No Experience Required

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No Experience Required Page 6

by Kimberly Cooper Griffin


  Jane sat in the empty seat next to Izzy and looked her up and down. Izzy blushed.

  “You surely aren’t worried about calories, are you?”

  “At my age, I can’t afford not to be.” Jeez, she sounded like Hector and Audie, with all this talk about calories. But her mouth wouldn’t stop. “Plus, the medication also has a side effect of weight gain. I stay ahead of the double whammy by running.” Seriously. She needed to stop.

  Jane sipped her beer. “I thought you looked like a runner. I wish I didn’t hate it so much. Exercise is a wonderful medication on its own.”

  At least Jane hadn’t asked about the medication. She had no idea why she’d even offered the information. Being bipolar wasn’t something she talked about much. Most people didn’t understand enough about it. All they knew were the jokes and bizarre behavior some people exhibited when they weren’t medicated properly. But Izzy had been on medication for a long time, and people would never be aware of her condition if she didn’t tell them. For her, it was an invisible illness, and she liked to keep it that way. Tonight was no different. “I agree. Exercise and a good night’s sleep are the keys to a wonderful life.”

  Jane raised her bottle. “Here’s to good sleep and exercise. I’m glad you’re here. Hector said you don’t usually come to these.”

  Izzy bumped Hector’s arm. “Hector probably didn’t tell you my job kicks into overdrive when yours finishes. So, I’m usually working longer days right about now.”

  Hector returned the arm bump and leaned forward to see Jane. “Don’t let her fool you. Izzy works long days all the time. She wants to make us all look like we’re slacking off.”

  “I noticed,” Jane said. “Last week we were putting in twelve- to fourteen-hour days, and she was here before us and still here when we left most days.” Jane looked at Izzy. “I don’t know how you do it. Lester was pissed at me.”

  “Lester?” Hadn’t Jane said she dated women?

  “My dog. He knows he’s the boss.”

  Izzy already liked Jane, but she liked her more for being a dog person. “I bring Gus in with me on long days. He has a bed under my desk.”

  Jane sipped her beer. “Lester doesn’t understand the long days. My schedule at the university isn’t as taxing as the one here. This has been an adjustment for him.”

  Ganesh leaned across the table. “Izzy takes better care of Gus than I take care of my kids. He has a bandana for every occasion, and she has the mobile groomer come out at least once a week. He’s the nicest-smelling animal I’ve ever let kiss me on the lips.”

  Izzy grinned. “What can I say? He’s a passionate dog.”

  “He’s a lucky dog,” Ganesh said.

  “I baby my boy, too,” Jane said. “I think I’ll bring Lester into the office and see how he does. I already planned to take him to the dog park this weekend to make up for all the long days.”

  “Gus and I go to the one by the university all the time.”

  “We usually go to the one closer to my house, but the one by the university is nicer. We should go together some time.”

  Izzy started to politely decline, but something overrode the warning signals going off in her head. Before she knew what happened, she and Jane had made plans to meet up at the dog park by the university. It wasn’t like it was a date, right? Besides, she had Gus to think of, and he loved the dog park. It would be selfish not to go.

  * * *

  Nature is full of elaborate mating dances. Just tune in to the Animal Channel, and you’ll see birds with brilliant plumage strut for each other. You’ll witness the great clashing of antlers and horns as large mammals rut with one another. You’ll see solitary reptiles come out of hiding to impress each other with feats of strength and agility, all for the purpose of trying to attract a mate. This ritual is such a part of the natural world, you sometimes don’t even know it when you see it. Take a cat who rubs its face against yours. It isn’t just being affectionate; it’s rubbing its scent on you, claiming you. You had no idea you were leading your cat Twinkles on when you allowed him to rub on you, did you?

  When it comes to humans, though, some people like to think humans invented flirting. They don’t like to think an act so exciting is actually an instinct. But flirting is a dance of give and take, the very beginning of the mating ritual. When you flirt with an interesting person and they flirt back with you, you know they’re interested. It’s an integral part of who we are. Never mind the same exciting performance acted out between two humans is the same performance acted out when the female praying mantis gives in to the male praying mantis, mates with him, and then rips his head off. But I digress…

  Chapter Nine

  Sunshine warmed Izzy’s back as she sat on the wrought-iron bench, watching Gus play with a couple of golden retrievers. Saturday mornings were busy at Afton Hollow Dog Park. She’d arrived a little early for her meet-up with Jane after she took Gus on a short run. Now, she was just hanging out waiting for Jane while Gus played. He was running circles around the two dogs while they crouched and barked, feinting attacks at him. He was in canine heaven.

  Izzy, however, was battling a world-class case of the jitters, bordering on terror. What had she been thinking, making plans with Jane? It wasn’t a date, but no way could they be friends when her heart raced every time she saw Jane and thoughts of Jane invaded her mind at odd hours each day. She sat forward, prepared to leave, but she really didn’t want to, did she? It would be rude, and Gus was having fun. But more than that, she really wanted to see Jane. She sat back and took several deep breaths as she tried to distract herself from the feelings she needed to not have.

  The retrievers looked as if they could be litter mates, but they belonged to two different people, a man and a woman who had arrived separately. They stood several feet apart, watching their dogs play. The woman alternated between watching her dog and her phone. The man alternated between watching his dog and the woman. The woman appeared unaware of the man’s gaze, but she played with her hair and looked like she might be aware of being watched. It wasn’t long before the man moved closer and started to talk to her.

  Izzy was out of earshot, but she observed them with interest, amused by their complex interaction. Even from here, she could tell they were flirting.

  The man petted his dog affectionately but distractedly as he spoke to the woman, their dogs being the common interest bringing them together, aside from their obvious attraction to one another. They laughed as the dogs played between them until, in their exuberance, they ran into the woman, who teetered, throwing out her arms to catch her balance. The man moved quickly, grabbing her elbow and saving her. It was the perfect scenario for them to establish their need for one another. The woman pushed her hair behind her ear and glanced up at the man through her eyelashes, laughing. The man pushed out his chest, and Izzy expected him to pound it like a mighty silverback gorilla.

  Izzy had been exceptionally aware of flirting since she’d started writing the chapter about it in her book. Before then, she was clueless. She didn’t know how to flirt, and she never knew when someone was flirting with her. Direct and to the point were more her style. All the hair playing and coquettish talents displayed by the woman were beyond her.

  Her friends hadn’t been much help either. Hilde said buying someone a beer at a bar was classic flirtation, and Heidi said smiling a lot and laughing at someone’s jokes was the best way to flirt. Shawna suggested touching when talking was a sign someone was flirting with you. But Izzy dismissed all of their ideas when she simply used herself as context. She touched people all the time when she talked, and she wasn’t flirting. Buying someone a drink and listening to them when they talked was just a nice thing to do.

  “You got here before us.”

  It was a pleasant surprise when Jane sat next to her, pulling her from her thoughts.

  “Who do we have here?” Izzy asked, talking to the handsome white dog at Jane’s feet. He had a red bandana tied around his neck and was
one of the cutest bulldogs Izzy had ever seen.

  “This is Lester.” Jane leaned forward to scratch the husky dog’s neck with both hands.

  Clearly jealous, Gus came bounding up and started sniffing Lester.

  Jane reached a hand out to Gus and ended up with a palm full of Gus saliva. She laughed. “This must be Gus.”

  “The one and only. Be careful. As you can see, he’s vicious.”

  Jane looked up, confused. “He seems so sweet.”

  Izzy laughed. “I’m just kidding. He’s super friendly. If someone broke into my house, he’d probably show them straight to the valuables, but only after licking them to death.”

  “Of course you were joking.” Jane rolled her eyes and pushed a couple stray hairs behind her ear. A slight blush crept over her cheeks.

  Was Jane nervous? She wasn’t alone. Izzy was about to leap out of her skin.

  Hiding her feelings, she scratched behind the bulldog’s ears. “Your mama is so funny!”

  “Lester, do you want to go run around with Gus?” Jane asked. She detached his leash and gestured toward the open grass. Gus took a few excited leaps toward the center of the park and glanced back. Lester looked up at Jane before he ambled after him. Lester appeared sedate compared to Gus, who ran back and forth between Lester and the open grass.

  The man with the retriever walked by the bench with his dog, and Izzy searched for the woman. She was near the exit with her dog, holding hands with another woman. Izzy laughed to herself. She’d gauged the situation all wrong. Judging by the guy’s expression, he had, too.

  “Our boys seem to get along,” Jane said.

  Izzy returned her attention to the dogs, who were playing. “Gus has never met someone he doesn’t like.”

  “Lester mostly can’t be bothered with other dogs. I was a little surprised when he followed Gus. Normally, he just sort of strolls around the park and comes back after he’s done. As you can see, he’s not one for much exercise.”

  Lester was sitting out in the grass while Gus ran circles around him.

  “He looks quite muscular to me.” Izzy turned away from Jane and rolled her eyes, feeling like a dork. Muscular? Really?

  “He could stand to lose a few pounds. Then again, I’ve never seen a trim English bulldog.” Jane wrapped Lester’s leash around her hand and kept clasping and unclasping the hook. Maybe Izzy wasn’t the only nervous one.

  “I’ve always loved bulldogs.” Why was she finding it so hard to find something interesting to say?

  They watched the dogs play.

  “How do you like working at Gigify?” Izzy finally asked after a few minutes of wondering what to talk about.

  Jane seemed to consider the question. “I love the company, and I love the team.” She tilted her head back and forth. “But the work is pretty intense. I’m enjoying learning new things and honing my coding skills, but I’ve gotta be honest. I don’t think I’d want to do it longer than the summer.”

  “That’s longer than I’d last. Programming is definitely not my idea of fun. How do you keep your eyes from crossing after staring at a screen all day?”

  Jane smiled at her. “Isn’t that exactly what you do, writing tech docs all day?”

  Izzy thought about it. “Well, yeah, I guess so. Writing is different, though.”

  Lester ambled back to the bench, and Izzy reached to pet his head. He turned and nuzzled into her hand with a rumbly groan.

  Jane smiled at her. “He seems to like you. Normally, he just ignores everyone.”

  Izzy slid off the bench to the ground. She scratched his neck, which he responded to by pressing his head into her lap. “You like to snuggle, boy? I don’t blame you. Your mama is super pretty.”

  Had she seriously said that aloud? Heat rose to her face. Fortunately, her position on the ground in front of the bench hid the blush from Jane. Fortunately, Gus saved her when he came back to the bench and dropped his head into her lap to get some affection for himself.

  Jane laughed. “Looks like someone’s a little jealous.”

  “He’s not used to sharing me,” Izzy said over her shoulder.

  “Does he get jealous of your girlfriends, too?”

  Izzy smiled to herself. She knows I date women, too. One less thing she’d have to navigate if they became friends. “I’ve never introduced him to a girlfriend.”

  Jane sounded puzzled. “Oh, you haven’t had him for long then?”

  Izzy snorted. “He adopted me at the pet fair at AT&T Park five years ago. It was love at first sight.”

  Jane seemed to think it over. “So, in five years, you haven’t introduced him to any girlfriends?”

  Izzy focused entirely on Gus. “I don’t really date.”

  Jane was quiet for a moment, and Izzy could almost hear her thoughts. Why was she writing a book about love, then? What was wrong with her? What awful social issue made women stay clear of her? She wanted to explain, but she wouldn’t. It would just prove to Jane how damaged she was.

  “I hope this doesn’t come out wrong—”

  “But why am I writing a book on love if I don’t have a clue how to do it myself?” Izzy said for her. She laughed. “Let me know the answer if you have it, because I keep asking myself the very same question.”

  Jane laughed with her. “Not what I was going to ask, but I guess it’s a good question, too. I was going to ask how in the world someone like you avoids dating.”

  Someone like you? It sounded like a compliment coming from Jane. Maybe it was. “It’s easy. I don’t ask people out.”

  When she glanced over her shoulder, the little wrinkle between Jane’s eyebrows was adorable, but Izzy could see the questions brewing behind her pretty eyes. It was hard to keep her wall up with this woman.

  Jane clicked the clasp on the leash with renewed fervor. “I imagine you get asked out all the time, though.”

  Izzy untangled herself from the dogs and pushed herself up onto the bench. “Contrary to popular belief, not very often. Actually, never.” The wall was crumbling, and her stomach churned.

  “Impossible to believe.” Jane put her hand on Izzy’s arm. It felt like she was pressing warm sunshine into her skin, and her stomach settled.

  “I just don’t put myself out there for that kind of thing, I guess.”

  Jane patted her arm. “Well, if you did, you’d get scooped up in a heartbeat.”

  Izzy struggled to find a response to Jane’s comment. She was saved when Jane squeezed her arm and pointed at their dogs, who were blissfully playing again.

  “Aw! They love each other!”

  * * *

  Back in the day, some people liked to keep a little black book. It was one way of keeping track of the people you were interested in. Nowadays, while it’s easier to connect with people via various channels of social media, it may become more difficult to manage things if you’re talking to, or dating, people you’ve met in various ways. Unless you’re a serial dater and only date one person at a time, how do you remember where you met someone?

  You could be like one of my friends (Audie, you know who you are) and just go with the flow. If you forget where you met someone, you ask. If you accidentally call a date by the wrong name, you laugh it off. Being direct totally works for her. It’s part of her charm. But other people aren’t as comfortable with this kind of thing. Me? It would bother me no end if I couldn’t recall something important like where I met someone. I like to remember birthdays and favorite foods. I’m old-fashioned like that. So, I’d probably use a spreadsheet or at least some sort of electronic notebook where I compile and reference notes about people I’m dating.

  So, whether you’re old-fashioned or more on the cutting edge of dating, technology can be your friend.

  Chapter Ten

  Another document sent for review. Izzy closed her laptop, tossed it onto the bed, and rubbed her eyes. The room fell into shadowy darkness when the light from her screen went out. Eight p.m. already? How had it happened? Another Saturd
ay spent working. At least she’d completed the last document. How long had it been since her queue had been empty? It called for a celebration. Visions of the ice cream she’d picked up at Trader Joe’s danced in her head. A snore drifted up from the warm, furry mound pressed against her leg. She had to make a choice: ice cream or puppy snuggles? Was there really a choice?

  She turned on the television, settling on a house fixer-upper episode she’d already seen. With its raised sink basin and glass-enclosed marble shower, it had inspired her to remodel her own guest bathroom, which was still not complete after almost six months. The sense of accomplishment from clearing her queue evaporated at the reminder. All she needed to do was replace the vanity counter. She did these projects herself on principle. She was handy, having grown up with a father who was a general contractor and brothers and sisters who had followed in his footsteps. But she never seemed to have the time. Projects always seemed to drag out.

  Comforting her bruised pride with justifications, she picked up her personal laptop to message her brother Teddy to ask him to give her some references for a contractor. What would she do when he offered to do it himself, as she knew he would? She didn’t want him to, but not because he’d tease her. That was a given she couldn’t avoid. Mostly, it was because he was busier than she was, and she didn’t want to put pressure on him. He and his husband had their hands full with five kids. But he was the sweetest of her brothers, and his teasing wouldn’t go beyond the call or text thread she started. However, her three other brothers—Max, Grant, and Patrick—would give her unbearable, long-term grief, though not as much as her sisters Amelia and Viv would. She couldn’t win. Teddy it would be. And she’d stand her ground on using the contractor.

 

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