Bethany petted her dog. “I teach film and media.”
“She’s responsible for most of the news anchors on air these days,” Jane said.
Jane sounded proud of Bethany’s accomplishment. And then it hit her. This was the girlfriend Jane had told her about, the one who had inspired Jane’s no-dating-coworkers rule because of their brutal breakup. They’d obviously moved past all that.
Bethany clasped a leash on to Sheba’s collar. “Speaking of which, Sheba and I have to get going. I have a panel to be on for Channel Seven’s five o’clock news tonight. They’re debating the gender pay gap at the university.”
“Sounds interesting,” Izzy said, even though Bethany had been directing her comments to Jane.
Bethany flashed her brilliant smile. “Maybe. If I hadn’t already discussed it a dozen times before. It’s all talk, talk, talk.”
Jane squatted and said her good-byes to Sheba, who ate up the attention with kisses of her own. When Bethany walked away, Izzy found she was even jealous of the way Jane said good-bye to Bethany’s dog.
“So, that’s your ex, huh?” Izzy said after Bethany disappeared into the parking lot.
Jane’s eyebrows rose. “How’d you know?”
“You told me and Audie about your ex who taught media and appeared on local television.”
Jane’s brow furrowed. “I did?”
“Yeah. When Audie asked if you dated coworkers.”
Jane rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah. Audie is something else, with all her intimidating coolness. I’m afraid it made me an oversharer. I’m surprised you remembered.”
She’d called Audie intimidatingly cool. Izzy held back a scoff. She’d never tell her, though. She’d be insufferable. Izzy tried to jettison her jealousy and kissed her instead. “I remember everything about you.”
Jane raised an eyebrow and gave Izzy another peck. “I’ll have to be more careful.”
They held hands and watched the dogs play. The earlier question about how Jane would introduce her to a new person rolled around in her mind. Were she and Jane exclusive now? It seemed important to know these things. Asking seemed so scary, though.
“So, I was wondering…” Izzy said before she could stop herself.
Jane looked at her from the corner of her eye. “Wondering what? Whether I like dark chocolate with caramel or nuts? Yes. Yes, I do.”
Izzy loved her silliness. And there was the love word again. Stop it! Quit overthinking things! “Good to know. And coincidentally, I do, too. We were meant for each other.”
“I already knew that. This new discovery is just a bonus.” Jane gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Tell me. What were you wondering?”
Now she really had to finish her question. Here goes nothing. She took a breath.
“I was wondering what it is we’re doing.” There. She got it out. “Are we a ‘thing’?”
Jane’s expression grew serious. “I would definitely say we’re a thing.”
It was such a good answer. The best answer. But scary, too. It meant things, things Izzy wasn’t sure she was ready for. She took Jane’s hand and stared at it as she spoke. The whole dog park receded from her awareness; this was such an auspicious moment.
“I don’t want to make things weird, but I just want to call dibs on you. You don’t have to get a tattoo or anything—unless you want to—but I sort of want to tag you somehow to say you’re mine. You know, when other women come around and see what a catch you are.”
Jane put her face close to Izzy’s. She wore a sweet smile. Izzy laughed.
“You think I’m a catch?”
Izzy squeezed her hand. “The best kind of catch. What I’m saying is, I really don’t want to share you.”
Jane tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Oh, I see. You want to know if I plan on dating other people.”
Izzy put her foot on a tennis ball they’d brought with them and rolled it back and forth. “I’d like to be the only one you date, yeah.”
Jane put her foot in front of the ball to stop Izzy’s nervous fidgeting. “Okay, as long as I’m the only one you date. I’m not jealous or anything, but I could cut a chick if she started chatting you up.”
Izzy looked up and put her hand on her chest. “You’d cut a chick for me? That’s so sweet!”
Jane pursed her lips. “Well, in my mind, I would cut a chick. In real life, I have an aversion to blood. Oh, and violence. But definitely in my mind, I would cut a chick. And it wouldn’t be pretty!”
Izzy swung their hands between them. An excited bubble rose in her stomach. She had a little anxiety, too, but she chose to ignore it. “So, it’s settled. We’re a thing, and we’re not dating anyone else.”
Jane looked like she was excited, too. She hugged their hands to her chest.
“Deal. Do we spit on our hands and shake on it to make it official?”
Izzy put her hand on Jane’s shoulder and pulled her close. “I think a kiss will be better.”
* * *
Whoa! You’re in love!
True love!
Ultimate, pure, and unfettered love!
You feel it in the deepest parts of you. Your heart is wrapped around this new person and you’re bursting with it. You’ve never felt this way before, and every moment is infused with sunshine and happiness. Feelings of bliss, of walking on air, fill your days. Your nights are imbued with passion. Nothing will ever be the same, and nothing will ever mean so much. You’ve reached the pinnacle of happiness.
Now what?
Now comes the hard part if you haven’t already done it. Now you have to tell them. This part is all you. It’s up to you to come up with the best way to tell your beloved you love them. Maybe you’ll shout it out during an intimate moment. You could just declare it honestly over a cup of coffee. Or perhaps you’re a romantic and need to plan the perfect moment. Whatever you chose, it will be perfect.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Jane and Lester spent the night at Izzy’s every night that week. They didn’t plan it that way. It just happened. And Izzy liked it. She liked it a lot. She liked getting ready for bed with Jane. She liked sleeping next to her all night long. She liked waking up in the morning with Jane curled up around her or nuzzled into the crook of her arm. She liked standing next to her in the bathroom brushing their teeth. She liked fixing Jane toast and filling two to-go mugs with coffee each morning.
“I’m going to hate when school starts again, and we don’t get to ride into work together every morning,” Jane said. It was Friday as they sat shoulder to shoulder on the train. She was looking out the window at the college campus across the highway. School started in less than two weeks.
A small ball of dread grew in the pit of Izzy’s stomach. “I’ve been trying not to think about it. At least we’ll be able to ride partway together.”
Jane turned to look at her, and heat rose in Izzy as it did anytime Jane did that.
She had it bad.
“Yeah. But I need to spend some time with Romeo and Juliet. I can’t just give them a few minutes a day as I run in to get a clean set of clothes and check their food situation. The neighbor girl has been going in to play with them for a while each day, but Romeo gave me the cold shoulder yesterday when I dropped by. I think they’re getting resentful.”
Izzy didn’t want to be jealous of the cats, but she was. They demanded Jane’s time, but she wanted more than she was already getting. If the truth were told, she wanted all of it. The cats deserved their time, too. Izzy wouldn’t love Jane the way she did if she didn’t want to spend time with her cats.
There was that word again: love. It was coming up more often since her mother had planted the idea. She refused to dwell on it. Things were going too well.
Time together was the main issue now.
“They can come over, too, you know,” Izzy said.
“How do you think they would get along with Fat Bob and Prince?”
“Fat Bob probably wouldn’t even notice another cat
unless it was trying to eat his food. I’m not sure about Prince. I think he’d be okay, but he was a kitten when I brought him home to be Fat Bob’s brother, so I don’t know how he’d react to another cat. What about Romeo and Juliet?”
“They went with me up to my aunt’s house when I was taking care of her during her breast-cancer treatment last summer. My aunt has three cats, and aside from Romeo puking in my shoe for a week straight in the beginning, they all got along.”
“I guess there’s no way to know unless we try,” Izzy said. And just like that, Jane and her zoo started spending most nights at Izzy’s house.
Izzy couldn’t be happier.
* * *
“You can’t tell me you didn’t notice the sex scenes were a little too choreographed.” Jane tossed the empty tub of popcorn they had shared into the garbage receptacle as they left the theater, and Izzy held open the door.
The theater was nearly deserted, and a pimply faced usher was sweeping the closed concession area. Late shows at the independent theater weren’t usually so dead, but it was a weeknight, and the film had been showing for a few weeks already. They’d shared the theater with one other couple, who had still been wrapped around each other when the credits started to roll. Izzy couldn’t blame them. The movie had been sexy, but she preferred pawing all over Jane in the privacy of their home rather than getting all hot and bothered in a semi-public place and not being able to satisfy her cravings. At least she hoped those two young women didn’t go that far in the dim theater. The pimply faced usher might get an interesting education he wasn’t expecting.
“The love scenes were lovely. I enjoyed them,” Izzy said.
“I couldn’t help but think it was just a way for the male director to get off, filming his own fantasies of what he thinks two women do when they make love.”
“Not everyone does it the same. That’s just how those two characters did it.”
“Come on! The kissing? Women just don’t do battle with their tongues like that.”
“Okay. Agreed. Some of the kisses were a bit much with the strings of saliva and tongue wars. But I think they were just trying to be cinematic. Imagine having a camera two inches from your face and a director watching every gesture.”
“The sex was just as bad. The women clearly took on gender-typical roles. One was the man and one was the woman.”
“They both looked like women to me.” Izzy pulled her collar and fanned herself to make Jane laugh, which she did.
“They were beautiful.”
“You just have to let yourself enjoy the intent of the scene, which was two exceptionally beautiful women enjoying each other in a particularly intimate, and visual, way.” She cleared her throat. “And stimulating.”
“Oh, yeah! Another thing. They came together all the time.”
“We’ve come together before.”
“But not every single time. The director is absolutely not in touch with how real women’s bodies work. We don’t get wet at the drop of our panties.”
Izzy looked at her sideways. “You do.”
Jane pushed her shoulder. “I think we’re an exception. In my past, it wasn’t always so.”
Izzy did a fist pump. “Yes!”
Jane pushed her again. “Don’t get a big head about it!”
“Too late. I’m a love machine, and my lady can’t get enough of my awesome moves.”
Jane giggled. “Anyway, we were talking about the movie.”
“Ah, yes. The movie.”
“It’s not accurate, and I think it sets unrealistic expectations for women.”
“I liked it.” Izzy took Jane’s hand.
They had nearly reached the train station and were taking a shortcut between two buildings. Music, or more accurately, the deep vibration of bass from one of the brick buildings filled the space and pulsed through the alley. Izzy stopped, and Jane, who had taken an additional step, looked back, her eyebrows raised in a question. She looked so beautiful silhouetted in the light coming in from the distant parking lot. Izzy’s heart nearly burst, and a feeling welled up in her, filling her throat with emotion.
“What?” Jane asked.
“Did we just have our first argument?” Izzy asked.
Jane looked at her with an amused smile. “I believe we did.”
“We need to kiss and make up.”
Jane looked around to make sure they were alone and moved closer. “Like this?”
Jane kissed her and clumsily shoved her tongue into Izzy’s mouth. Izzy laughed and pushed her away.
“Gross!”
“See? Not sexy. But this,” Jane moved back in. She cupped Izzy’s jaw with both hands and slowly drew her close. Her eyes were suddenly serious and dark, the minimal light in the alley filling them with secrets. “This is sexy.”
Jane’s sudden switch to seductress bewitched Izzy.
Jane’s breath was light upon Izzy’s mouth before her warm lips pressed against Izzy’s. Her tongue fluttered along the inside edge of Izzy’s bottom lip before she sucked on it. She pulled back just enough to smile at her before she moved back in and kissed her hard.
Izzy walked her backward toward the brick wall and pressed Jane against it. They were in the shadows so she cupped the sides of Jane’s breasts through her T-shirt, her thumbs stroking her nipples through the thin fabric, feeling them come alive under the thicker cloth of her bra. Jane moved one of her hands behind Izzy’s neck and wrapped the other around her waist, grabbing her ass, pulling her closer. Izzy pressed her leg between Jane’s, and she ground into her, the fast beat of the music from the dance club setting the tempo.
Izzy pulled her head back just enough to look into Jane’s eyes. “Tell me. Did the movie turn you on even a little bit?”
Jane panted. “Maybe a little bit.”
Izzy pushed her hand into the front waist of Jane’s shorts, and Jane gasped. Izzy snuck her hand into Jane’s panties, and plunged her fingers into Jane’s silky depths. She was so wet, so ready.
“Just a little?” Izzy whispered, pulling her fingers out to stroke her clit.
“Hurry. Just hurry.” Jane moaned and threw her head back.
Izzy slid back into her. Jane’s shorts constrained her hand, and she couldn’t move exactly like she wanted, but it didn’t seem to matter. Jane was writhing, spreading her legs, giving her as much access as she could, and Izzy stroked her clit hard and fast. It didn’t take long at all before Jane was shuddering, and her breath was coming in shallow gulps. Izzy slowed her strokes as Jane’s body started to relax.
“Fuck,” Jane said.
Izzy giggled. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you curse.”
Jane panted and looked from side to side. “It’s also the first time I’ve ever had sex in an alley.”
Izzy pulled her hand out of Jane’s pants and stepped back to let Jane straighten her shirt, which had risen to her ribs. The expanse of soft skin visible made Izzy’s fingers tingle.
“Me, too. That’s a lot of firsts for one night. First argument, first curse, first sex in an alley.”
“I hope all our arguments end like this,” Jane said.
They laughed and Jane looked up. “Oh, God.” She pointed to a point near the alley’s entrance, where a small electronic device was mounted high on the wall.
Izzy squinted to see. A shot of alarm hit her, and then a trill of excitement swept it aside. “A camera. How embarrassing.” But she wasn’t embarrassed. Not really. Even so, she averted her face and laughed. Facial recognition was a reality.
“Well, maybe some lucky person will get to see what it looks like when two women have real sex.”
“I’m down with that. As long as it doesn’t show up in some meme somewhere.”
* * *
Izzy got ready for bed. She slid her pill dispenser out of the drawer and lifted her medication out, trying not to make too much noise since Jane was right outside the door. She took her meds, placed the pillbox back in the drawer, and got into be
d next to Jane, who was reading a book. Izzy lay on her side with her head propped up on one hand, watching Jane.
A feeling so huge it threatened to burst her skin filled her. On the outside, she probably looked serene—if not a bit stalkerish, what with the staring—but on the inside, she was in turmoil. A feeling of necessity was boiling in her. She loved her.
It was too soon to say anything, though. They’d been together only a short while. Plus—she thought about the pillbox in the bathroom—she needed to say some other things first.
The cats were lying in a heap near the foot of the bed, and the dogs were lying in their beds next to the dresser. Things were so very domestic. It just felt so right, what was happening between them. What would happen if she let down her barriers? They were mostly already pretty much down. She felt safe with Jane. Her real fear was her own chemical makeup going out of whack and causing chaos.
“What are you staring at?” Jane didn’t look away from her book, but her mouth was turned up in a half-smile.
She was so pretty. Smart. Kind. A jumble of responses caught in Izzy’s throat.
Jane turned to look at her, and still Izzy couldn’t speak. Jane’s head tilted to the side, studying Izzy.
Izzy could only stare back.
Jane lowered her book. “You’re making me feel self-conscious.”
Izzy cupped Jane’s cheek, rubbing her thumb along her chin. Jane closed her eyes and smiled. “I have to tell you something.”
Jane opened her eyes and scanned her face. “Should I worry?”
“I don’t know.” Izzy sat up.
Jane sat up, too. “Lay it on me, then.”
“Well…” Izzy picked at the comforter. “I guess you could say I come with a little baggage.” The nerves hit her hard, and she had a difficult time continuing, unsure how to finish what she had to say.
Jane took her hand and held it in her lap. “Who doesn’t?”
“True.” Jane’s response made her feel better. “But I guess I should disclose my baggage so you have the opportunity to make decisions.”
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