by Gaines, Liza
With a sigh, Lee wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him and nuzzling her neck as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Little Bird. Now I’m the one who’s prying.”
Savannah allowed him to hold her as she tried to calm herself. She didn’t have to tell him, he was willing to let it go, and she didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t want to ever think about how stupid she’d been again, let alone talk about it. But he’d been open with her, even after she’d yelled at him and more or less called him a low life. It couldn’t have been easy for him to tell her all that, especially after her initial reaction. She owed it to him to be as open as he had been.
“Yes, I hate him. His name was Flynn.”
“Flynn? What the fuck kind of name is that? He sounds like a douchebag.”
Savannah laughed, despite her inner turmoil, relaxing a little in Lee’s embrace. “He is a douchebag!”
Lee grinned, evidently amused by her bravado, before saying, “You really don’t have to tell me about this if it upsets you.”
“No, it’s all right.” Savannah took a deep breath, her hands flat on his chest. The solid bulk of him reassured her. “I met him the first week at university and we started dating right away. He was a year ahead of me. He, umm, he was actually my first and I made him wait a whole year before I slept with him. I thought he had the patience of a saint. We dated right up until he graduated. He’d gotten a job in Seattle and left shortly after graduation but he proposed before he left. It pisses me off that I wasted all of college on him. I missed out on a lot of great sex because of Douchebag.”
“Probably not, sweetheart. I’ve got more than a decade on you and so far I can tell you the older you get the better it gets. You’re more confident, more experienced. You know what you like and what you want. That’s all worth a lot more than drunken groping at a frat party. Trust me.”
“I don’t know, I think you might be wrong. Sex is pretty good right now, I’m not sure it could get any better.” She gave him a clever smile, intended to convey that she specifically meant sex with him. “But I’ll look you up in ten years or so and let you know.”
“I’ll be waiting anxiously to hear how that turns out.” Lee laughed and hugged her tightly.
Savannah appreciated very much that he’d taken them on that flirty little tangent. It kept the mood light, kept her from getting bogged down in her hurt and embarrassment about Flynn. “Anyway, I still had a year of school left and then I’d gotten an internship with Capital Police for the year after I graduated. So the plan was after I finished the internship I’d move to Seattle and then after I found a job we’d start planning the wedding.”
“You didn’t marry him did you?”
“God, no. That’s the one bright side in the entire mess. It was about two months before my internship was over, before I was supposed to move to Seattle. I had a long weekend and I was missing him so I flew out to surprise him. I went to his apartment, well what I thought was his apartment, and his roommate was sure surprised to see me. Anyway, it turned out he didn’t live there anymore. He’d moved in with, and had a baby with, some woman he met at work. Every time I visited, his old roommate, who incidentally was one of Flynn’s frat buddies, let him pretend to still live there. You can’t imagine how stupid I felt. The kid was almost a year old, he’d moved in with her within a couple months of his moving to Seattle.”
“That’s fucked up. Did she know about you?”
Savannah snorted, shaking her head. “She did by the time I got back on the plane to come home. I wasn’t mad at her, it wasn’t her fault but I thought she ought to know he was a lying douchebag. What I found out later was that he’d been cheating the entire time. Including that whole first year when I thought he was being so patient and understanding about the whole virginity thing. It was humiliating to realize so many people knew what he was doing all along but none of them bothered to tell me. I fucking hate that I’m crying about this now, too. I’ve been over him for a long time but I still feel stupid and embarrassed every time I think about it.”
Savannah had been determined not to cry but as she came to the end she did anyway. Lee rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. He held her silently, letting her press her face to his neck and cry while he soothingly stroked her back with both hands. When she’d quit crying, Lee caught her chin and tipped her head back to look at him.
“I’m sorry that happened to you. I suppose it’s no wonder we argued earlier, sort of a sensitive topic.”
Savannah quirked a brow at him, her eyes narrowed as she sniffled a little. “Well, that and you were being an overbearing bastard.”
Lee shook his head and chuckled, his voice tired. “Yes, that, too.”
Savannah took a deep breath, feeling awkward about what she was about to say but knowing she had to say it. “Lee, I’m sorry about the way I acted when you started telling me about everything. You were being nice enough to answer and I should have let you finish before I got all pissy about it.” Lee opened his mouth to say something, but Savannah put her finger to his lips, asking him to let her finish. “Cheating is wrong. It’s always wrong and I still believe there are no excuses ever for it. What you did was shitty and you shouldn’t have done it. Especially with one of her friends. I mean, Jesus, that’s a fucking double betrayal and that sucks.”
“You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I wish I hadn’t done it?” Lee’s voice was hot, defensive, and his hands had gone still on her back. “The only thing I regret more are the things I said to her the day she had the abortion. And before you tell me I’ve got that backward consider the fact that you don’t know what I said that day and I’m not ever going to fucking tell you that.”
“I know, I get that, and if you’d let me finish, what I was going to say was that there are no excuses but sometimes the explanation matters. It’s never okay, but circumstances might make it more or less forgivable.”
Lee snorted, and shook his head. “Ah, so now you’re going to be like Ginny and make excuses for me.”
“No, but I wasn’t there, I don’t know what it was like for either of you, and it’s not fair for me to judge things that happened a long time ago and have nothing to do with me. But I can’t go through what I did with Flynn again. I don’t know what I’d do, I can’t even think about it. I felt less than fucking human, I was so ashamed and embarrassed and hurt. I thought I loved him and all of it was a lie. I can’t go to that place again. Don’t promise me fidelity—don’t make me promise it to you, if that’s not something you can do. We just met and we have some pretty great sex. That doesn’t have to change. This doesn’t have to be any more than that. You don’t have to pretend just to get in my pants. I’d rather keep it casual than find myself in that awful place again.” Savannah’s heart thudded in her chest as she waited for him to respond. She’d told him the truth because she’d had to, but now she felt weak and exposed waiting for him to say something.
“Savannah, I can’t promise you this will work, I can’t tell you there’s no risk involved. Who knows, I might find some new and creative way to break your heart and prove what an asshole I am. But I won’t cheat, I can promise that. I’ll also understand though, knowing what you know now, if you don’t feel you can trust me enough to take that chance.”
Savannah believed him. The look on his face was sincere and surprisingly vulnerable, his gaze locked with hers, as he waited for her response. But what really convinced her wasn’t what he’d said just now or even the way he was looking at her. It was that he’d admitted his infidelity at all. It would have been simple for him to lie to her, to tell her all the rest of it when she asked and leave that part out. She’d have never known the difference. Lee must have known he was taking a risk in telling her, that she might react badly. But even knowing she might not take it well he’d told her anyway. Why would he have done that if he were being insincere?
“I believe you, Levon.” Savannah stretched up to kiss his chin, his beard t
ickling her lips.
Lee smiled, raising his head to kiss her. It was a soft kiss, a little tentative, but it was sweet and charming and melted Savannah’s heart when he tenderly tugged her lip between his teeth. His hands moved on her back again and Savannah moaned when they pushed lower, cupping her bottom and holding her tightly against him. Lee pulled his mouth from hers, holding her gaze.
“Savannah, can I make love to you? I need…” He trailed off but didn’t sound uncertain or bashful. Instead, his voice had been soft and a little gruff, confident as always. But something had made him stop.
Savannah closed her eyes, burying her face in his neck before she murmured, “Can I tell you something?”
“Hmm?”
“Remember when you asked me what I fantasized about while you were gone today?” She nibbled on his neck, kissing him and tenderly nipping with her teeth.
“Yes.” Lee’s answer came on a moan as her lips moved over his neck.
Savannah took a deep breath, tracing the line of his beard with her tongue before telling him something she’d never planned to share. “I tried to imagine what it would be like if you made love to me.”
“Well.”
That was all he said, just that one word, and Savannah watched his Adam’s apple move in his throat as he swallowed hard. Tipping her head back, she studied him as he lay there with his eyes closed. Lee must have known she watched him, because he opened his eyes, finding hers. Reaching for the bedside table, he got a condom without ever letting his gaze waver. His hands behind her back, he tore open the packet and then shifted beneath her to put it on.
Savannah started to scoot down his body, but Lee stopped her, both arms banding behind her back as he shook his head. “I promise you can ride me another time but I need you under me now.”
Savannah nodded but he hadn’t waited for her response, holding her tight against him as he rolled them over. Holding himself above her on his arms, he looked down between them, watching as he slid his cock back and forth, his breath catching on a low rumble that made her whimper when his swollen tip wedged against her entrance. Savannah moaned restlessly, her hips lifting to take him. Looking up again, he locked his gaze with hers and he let himself sink into her, penetrating her slowly, deliberately, as he lowered his body on top of her.
Every nerve in Savannah’s body was afire with need and he was going so slowly, tormenting her with his measured entry. This morning when he’d slowly entered her, giving her time to adjust to him, it had been reassuring but now she just needed him, all of him.
Finally Lee was fully inside, his cock rigid and throbbing, and Savannah gave a loud strangled cry, her hips rocking up instinctively. He restrained her hungry movements with a hand on her hip, letting his weight press her into the mattress. His voice was hoarse and strained. “Be still. Just lay here with me.”
Her body vibrated with desire. She ached to move beneath him but Lee ignored the needy little sounds she made. With her face buried in his neck, their bodies pressed together from head to toe, the scent of him filled her nose and Savannah thought she might drown in him.
“Would you like me to take you out on a date, Little Bird?”
Savannah blinked, surprised by his question. He raised his head to look at her, one hand in her hair, tenderly brushing it away from her face. “Yes.”
“Would you like me to take you to your friend’s party tomorrow night?”
“Oh.” Savannah hadn’t expected that and she shook her head, her brows furrowing. “No. Mike and Ginny might stop by. But we could do something Friday night.”
“Mike and Ginny are going to find out eventually.” Lee cocked a brow at her, a searching look on his face.
Savannah frowned, trying to focus her thoughts but the feel of him throbbing deep inside of her was so distracting. “I know. But they’re going to be mad and I’m not sure I’m quite ready to deal with that yet.”
“They will be mad, yes. But they love us both and they’ll get over it.” Lee dipped his head, his lips brushing across the bridge of her nose. “Why don’t you let me worry about them, Little Bird?”
Savannah sighed and nipped playfully at his chest. She did want him to take her to Joni’s opening. That he wanted to take her out, and specifically to a place where they’d be surrounded by all her friends, that meant something to her. He wouldn’t do that if all he wanted was sex. “It would be kind of nice to show you off to all my friends. In case you didn’t know, you’re really fucking hot.”
“So I’ve been told.” Lee’s chest rumbled with laughter and he kissed the top of her head. “It’s a date then.”
He fell silent again, his eyes closed and his face in her hair. She tried to squirm, to coax him to move with her, but he was bigger and stronger than she was, his weight holding her firmly in place. She whined with frustration.
“You’re so impatient.” She could hear the smile in his voice, felt the curve of his lips on her shoulder.
“This is torture.” Savannah laughed huskily and kissed his neck, her hands on his back, holding him against her.
“Maybe, but I enjoy lying here with you like this.”
Savannah started to say something but the words stuck in her throat, choking her, when at last Lee began to move against her, his hips grinding languidly. She cried out, unable to stop the tears she hadn’t realized were threatening. He had both hands in her hair, holding much of his weight on his elbows, freeing her to move with him as he made love to her, his movements unhurried, almost lazy. Sobbing against his chest, she hooked her leg over his hip, rocking to meet his leisurely thrusts.
Lee was so reverent, so tender. It was like he was worshiping her with his body and Savannah had never felt so cherished before in her life. In five years Flynn had never once made her feel anything close to this. How could Lee, who she’d only known such a short time, make her feel this way?
Lee tipped her head back, his eyes finding hers, his voice a rough whisper. “Don’t cry, Savannah.”
She tried to get control of herself, to suppress her convulsive weeping, but realized it was futile so she gasped haltingly in response, “Can’t…help it.”
“Take a deep breath, Little Bird. Relax.” He was smiling at her, his fingers stroking her cheek as he maintained his relaxed pace. When she took two deep ragged breaths he gave her a reassuring smile. “Why are you crying, honey? Are you still upset with me? Do you want me to stop?”
“No, no.” Savannah shook her head, wiping at her face with the heel of one hand.
“Then why?” Lee pulled her hand away from her face, bending to kiss her cheeks, taking her tears on his lips.
Savannah took another steadying breath, frustrated that her voice was still shaking. “No one has ever touched me like this before. I feel, you make me feel special.”
Lee groaned, pushing one arm under her shoulders and holding her against his chest. “You are special, Savannah. And you deserve to have someone tell you that, show you that, often.”
Savannah mewled as she registered the subtle quickening of his pace. “Please, God, don’t stop, Levon.”
“I won’t.” Savannah saw the flicker of amusement in his eyes but it was gone as quickly as it had come.
Savannah moaned blissfully as he gradually thrust faster. The ache inside her intensified and she parted her lips, uttering a startled gasp.
Lee dipped his head, his lips brushing hers. “Are you going to come already, sweetheart?” She nodded and he gave her a lopsided smile that laid waste to her heart. “I love the feel of you when you come on my cock. That’s what I meant earlier. I don’t know how you do it, but you squeeze me so tight when you come, God, it’s amazing.”
His words washed over her and Savannah cried out, her fingers digging into his chest, as her climax came with them. Even through the haze of her own orgasm she could hear Lee moan as she contracted around him, gripping and releasing him with each tremor of her body.
Savannah thought from the sound
s he was making that Lee was going to finish with her but he didn’t, instead thrusting urgently against her and dropping his head to kiss her. It was the most soul shattering kiss of her life, the way his mouth moved over hers while he made love to her, her own body still quaking from her climax. It fascinated her that one kiss could be so hard and demanding yet affectionate and tender all at the same time.
Lee groaned against her mouth before rising up to look at her. He shook his head, a bewildered look on his face.
“What?”
“I’m just trying to figure out how the fuck you do this to me. Hell, do you even know what you do to me?”
Savannah raised a brow at him and looked down to where their bodies joined, biting her lower lip as she concentrated on gripping him as hard as she could. “Yeah, I’d say it’s kind of obvious what I do to you.”
“Oh, fuck, don’t do that, sweetheart. Jesus, fuck. Stop. I mean it, Savannah, stop.” He buried his face in her neck, groaning incoherently as he fucked against her harder. Savannah ignored his request, instead gripping and releasing him with every thrust. All those stupid sex articles in the women’s magazines got most everything wrong, as far as she could tell, except the tip about doing your kegel exercises. That one seemed to be paying off.
Lee shouted, burying himself deep and biting her shoulder as he came. His hand found her neck, squeezing her nape with his fingers, gripping so hard it hurt. Lee was still grinding against her, coming long and hard, when he raised his head, his eyes finding hers as he growled, “Mine.”
Lee lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, with Savannah nestled against his side. She had one arm thrown over his chest, her head on his shoulder, and her legs tangled with his. They’d been lying there for some time, both of them catching their breath and trying to recover from what had been, at least in Savannah’s mind, life altering sex. She shivered just remembering the way he’d looked at her and the sound of his voice, fierce and possessive, when he’d told her she was his.