Guess who else was in that little room?
Kenny Walinhoff and his mother. Kenny gave me a little hello-there smile, then turned quickly away. Of course he had been expecting my deeply disdainful look, as usual.
I surprised him. And myself, too. I marched right over and put out my hand.
Me: “Hey, Kenny. Truce?”
Kenny (look of shock on face): “Uh, OK.”
So we shook on it.
Kenny: “Hey, I saw you guys on the jumbotron at game five.”
Me: “You did?”
And after that, we didn’t know what else to say, but we were still shaking hands. It was very mature. And guess what? My heart fluttered.
Then Kenny finally said: “It’s a good thing those giant shoes are behind glass, because—P.U.—they’d stink up the room!”
Which wasn’t exactly mature, but I laughed my head off.
Wow, what a day.
Love,
Penelope
FRIDAY, JUNE 26, 2015
Dear You,
Today, Mama and Sammy were crying, but I knew they were crying tears of joy. People don’t usually smile when they’re crying
Mama said, “This is history in the making, Penny.”
Her voice was shaking. “The Supreme Court has voted to end the ban of same-sex marriage across the nation.”
Mama told me some of the history although I knew a lot of it already. Lawyers have been working toward this for years and years, state government by state government. Sometimes they won and sometimes they lost, but they kept on trying.
And today, they won in the highest court in the land.
There was dancing the streets. We watched it on TV tonight.
Sammy: “The joy for the Warriors’ win last week and the joy tonight have the same source. The impossible was made possible.”
And Mama said, “With much hard work and love and hope and a mighty team effort.”
I will always remember this date, when the impossible was made possible and everyone danced in the streets. But today the dancing in the streets was happening all over the world.
And then, all of a sudden, I knew EXACTLY why I wanted Mama and Sammy to get married, even though they had a domestic partnership and a marriage of the heart.
Me: “When the Dubs won the championship, everyone found out that Oakland is the City. Just as good as San Francisco! And if you get married, everyone will know our family is just as good as everyone else’s.”
Mama and Sammy stared at me. You could say that their mouths kind of dropped open. Then they looked at each other, read each other’s minds, and said this, at the exact same time:
Mama to Sammy and Sammy to Mama: “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
Mama to Sammy and Sammy to Mama: “YES!”
They both put their arms around me, and I started crying for joy, too. But also for some reasons I’m not really sure about.
Just to cry, I guess.
Love,
Penny
FRIDAY, JULY 3, 2015
Dear You,
MAMA AND SAMMY ARE PLANNING A WEDDING!
I am a little behind in my journal writing because I have been busy helping with wedding invitations and decorations and weeding and planting flowers in the backyard for the wedding.
Also, Grandpa Al Wolney is here! He rented a car and is helping us with errands—a great big help. We also went to Jack London Square and Fairyland and hiking and Fentons and farmers’ markets. And, OK, an afternoon in San Francisco.
He is staying at our house and sleeping in the living room. I’m pretty confident I will love him soon. He’s very kind.
But Grandpa Al and I still have more to learn about each other.
For instance, he gave me the Rainbow Families Coloring Book, which celebrates all kinds of families. He bought it at the San Francisco airport. I didn’t tell him I am too old for a coloring book, or that I never really enjoyed coloring. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
I will save it for you.
Love,
Penelope
TUESDAY, JULY 7, 2015
Dear Mary Joy,
THAT’S YOU!
YOU HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Oops, the Queen of Exclamation Points is doing it again. Can’t help it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Your birth date was yesterday, MONDAY, JULY 6, 2015. You are pink and wrinkled with long, skinny legs. From a tiny poppy seed to six pounds, three ounces. Good work!
Your birthday will be sort of merged with the July 4th holiday, but that’s pretty cool, I think, because of all the firecrackers involved.
When I woke up on your birthday, Uncle Ziggy and Grandpa Al were drinking coffee in our kitchen. That’s because Sammy had driven Mama to the hospital in the middle of the night. They told me what was going on. Uncle Ziggy said Mama had an easy time because you were in such a hurry to be born.
I adore your name. I approved of it right away.
Mary Joy.
Mary after the famous lawyer Mary Bonauto, who made most of those Supreme Court justices understand about marrying a person you love.
And Joy because that’s what our hearts are bursting with.
Mama says you are our very own Sundae Monday Mary Joy.
Dear You.
Dear Mary Joy.
Sammy helped me hang up a huge life-size poster of Steph Curry so you can see it from your crib. He sure doesn’t look short! And with your own long, skinny legs, GUESS WHAT?
You will soon be a Splash Sister-in-Training, Mary Joy. (If you want to be.)
Love,
Penelope
SUNDAY, AUGUST 23, 2015
Dear Mary Joy,
You have a good pair of lungs. You kept us up last night. Mama says we don’t need sleep because we are fueled by joy.
You were probably excited and overtired because of what happened yesterday.
THE WEDDING! You were there, but, of course, you won’t remember anything. So I will now write about that beautiful day.
Our little backyard was jam-packed with guests. There were five big tables covered with white cloths. The party was small, but actually fancy-schmancy. We had a flute player and a violin player and a cello player, Uncle Ziggy’s friends from the Oakland Secret Stairway Society, serenading us with classical music. By the way, I never heard from the Doppel Country Cousins Trio, but it doesn’t matter anymore.
Uncle Ziggy was a Universal Life minister, appointed for that day only so he could marry Mama and Sammy. I’m glad it was for one day only, because he wasn’t acting like Uncle Ziggy. He was so solemn, checking his notes and mumbling to himself before the ceremony.
But then, after he married Mama and Sammy, he picked up his ukulele and sang. His beautiful voice touched everyone’s heart, and so did the song, called “The Book of Love.” I could tell, because there were gallons of tears.
Sammy said one of her very wise things during her wedding toast. She said that love is a sixth sense. The very second we are born, we know how to love. Maybe even before that, in the womb. And love is not that complicated.
I can already tell that you are using all of your six senses with all of your baby might. You can see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and love. You loved being passed around from one guest to another, showing off your brand-new smile.
The food was catered by Gabby’s aunty Lue. Gabby was right. The hors d’oeuvres were the best part. I ate many, many tiny spring rolls and mini quiches. I was too stuffed for the main course, which was Chicken Dijonnaise with mustard seeds.
And the cake!!!!!
Two layers were chocolate, two layers were strawberry, and two layers were made with the acorn flour that Mele Grace and Mele Lorraine and I bought at the Oakland Natural Co-op and gave to Aunty Lue. I wish we could have c
ollected and used our own acorns, but that is a future project. Anyway, acorns are out of season.
The two tiny, joyful plastic brides on top of the cake were supposed to be Mama and Sammy. Everyone clapped and cheered when Mama and Sammy cut the first slice. Everyone knew that the cake and the wedding and our family, all of it, was absolutely just right.
Love,
Penelope
WHO AND WHAT I LOVE
You
Mama and Sammy
My relatives
My friends
Mr. Chen
The Golden State Warriors
My city, Oakland
The Ohlone basket
Golden retrievers
Rain
Hors d’oeuvres
Writing in my journal
Much more
MONDAY, AUGUST 24, 2015
Dear Mary Joy,
I have been thinking.
I am so glad I decided to tell you about my world while you were floating around inside your own tiny dark one.
But my world is your world now.
There are so many words in this world. I will teach you thousands and thousands of them.
Our world is awesome and ordinary
and sweet and bitter
and simple and complicated
and ancient and young
all at the very same time.
Sometimes, one word cancels out another word. I wonder a lot about that.
Soon, you will have your own journal for wondering about things. There are three dog notebooks left in Mama’s desk drawer: a Pekingese and a beagle and a German shepherd.
So, from now on, I will write mostly for me, OK?
Love, always and forever,
Penelope
AUTHOR’S NOTE
The Golden State Warriors’ win (June 16, 2015); the big, peaceful Oakland parade to celebrate that win (June 19, 2015); and the historic US Supreme Court decision ending same-sex marriage bans nationwide (June 26, 2015), all linked so closely in time, stirred me like a musical harmony in a love song. This story is the result of that resonance.
California droughts come and go, and, I should note, so do NBA Championships. But I hope we will continue to support and enjoy our favorite sports teams, as well as respect the environment, honor our histories, and protect all of our beautiful freedoms.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to give very special thanks to Corrina Gould of the Confederated Villages of Lisjan, activist and educator in Ohlone culture for fourth and fifth graders, California Indian Living program, Oakland Museum of California; Eva Herzer of the Mediation Law Office of Eva Herzer; the fascinating and oh-so-kid-friendly Oakland Museum of California; Linda Yamane, renowned Ohlone basket weaver, for her beautiful basket in the museum; and Heather Siglin, Will Osser, Griffin Osser, and Jasper Osser (and their goats!).
To everyone else who answered my questions, submitted to interviews, read my manuscript, and provided support and erudite input, I am deeply indebted: Jane Bahk; Yusni Bakar, Family Programs Director at Our Family Coalition; Phil Bildner; Claire Blethrow; Diane Bomberg; Michaela Cains; Sadie Crawford; Jordan Davis; Lola Dvorak; Madelena Fleury; Erin Harrell; Frances Hornstein; Eli Hudson; Isaac Hudson; Sarah Hudson; Ji-li Jiang; Kevin Lewis; Alia Mesker-Irwin; Serik Mesker-Irwin; Susan Meyers; Arlene Moscovitch; Aliyah Romero; Amara Romero; Erica Silverman; Ara Therrell; Anika Thielbar; Lora Thielbar; Linda Torn; Bob Unger; Gracie Wetzel; Isa Wetzel; and Greta Wu.
Many thanks to my dear, smart agent, Erin Murphy, and all the wonderful people at the Erin Murphy Literary Agency; to my incredibly wise editors, Susan Van Metre and Maggie Lehrman; to Lucy Knisley, an amazing illustrator; to Siobhán Gallagher, the book’s talented designer; and to all the hardworking folks at Abrams.
Thank you and much love to my family for their input and encouragement: Rupa Basu, Arjun Basu Silverberg, Ravi Basu Silverberg, Karen Gaiger, Sarah Jackson, Leo Jackson Silverberg, Rosie Jackson Silverberg, Gerry Nelson, Eric Silverberg, and, especially, Michael Silverberg.
AND, of course, to the NBA, above all, the Golden State Warriors—
THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Exclamation points to the nth degree.)
ANSWERS TO BASKETBALL QUIZZES
JUNE 4, 2015, GAME ONE, NBA FINALS V CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
1. Warriors, 108–100; 2. LeBron James, 44; 3. He left the Cavs for the Heat; 4. Warriors; 5. Klay Thompson; 6. Toss-up
JUNE 7, 2015, GAME TWO, NBA FINALS V. CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
1. Cavaliers, 95–93; 2. Warriors: Klay Thompson, Cavaliers: LeBron James; 3. Injured players; 4. Draymond Green; 5. Overtime; 6. Matthew Dellavedova
JUNE 9, 2015, GAME THREE, NBA FINALS V CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
1. Cavaliers, 96–91; 2. This is a trick question! The Cleveland Cavaliers have never won an NBA Championship. But 51 years ago, in 1964, the Cleveland Browns won the National FOOTBALL League championship. (Note from author: The Cavs won the NBA Championship in 2016!); 3. 40; 4. Points—Warriors: Curry, Cavs: James; Assists—Warriors: Curry, Cavs: James; 5. 20; 6. Five three-pointers
JUNE 11, 2015, GAME FOUR, NBA FINALS V. CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
1. Warriors, 103–82; 2. No team has won a championship when they were behind 3–1 in the finals (Note from the author: until the following season!) ; 3. Andre Iguodala; 4. Scored four three-pointers and played great defense against James.
JUNE 16, 2015, GAME SIX, NBA FINALS V CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
1. Warriors, 105–97; 2. Warriors; 3. Iguodala, Curry, Thompson; 4. Iguodala; 5. Warriors!; 6. WARRIORS!!!
BOOKS AND OTHER READING MATERIAL
Bay Area News Group. Golden Boys: The Golden State Warriors’ Historic 2015 Championship Season. Chicago: Triumph Books, 2015.
Bean, Lowell John, ed. The Ohlone Past and Present: Native Americans of the San Francisco Bay Region. Menlo Park, CA: Ballena Press, 1994.
Di Giacomo, Richard. Ohlone Teacher’s Resource, 3rd edition. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2016.
Fakhrid-Deen, Tina; with COLAGE. Let’s Get This Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ Parents. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2010.
Fleming, Charles. Secret Stairs: East Bay: A Walking Guide to the Historic Staircases of Berkeley and Oakland. Solana Beach, CA: Santa Monica Press, 2011.
Garner, Abigail. Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is. New York: Harper Perennial, 2005.
Kettels, Yvonne. Rainbow Families Coloring Book. U.S.: Ink Works, 2012.
King, Jr., Martin Luther. “The Future of Integration.” Speech delivered in Finney Chapel, Oberlin College: Oberlin, Ohio, October 22, 1964.
Margolin, Malcolm. The Ohlone Way: Indian Life in the San Francisco–Monterey Bay Area, 4th edition. Berkeley, CA: Heyday Books, 2014.
Murkoff, Heidi, and Sharon Mazel. What to Expect When You’re Expecting. New York: Workman Publishing, 2008.
Solomon, Marc. Winning Marriage: The Inside Story of How Same-Sex Couples Took on the Politicians and Pundits—and Won. Lebanon, NH: University Press of New England, 2014.
VanDerbeken, Jaxon. “Volunteers Pitching in to Restore Wetlands,” San Francisco Chronicle, November 16, 2014.
Wahls, Zach; with Bruce Littlefield. My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family. New York: Gotham Books, 2012.
News from Native California (magazine). Berkeley, CA: Heyday, 2016.
Also check out the sports section of the East Bay Times, especially articles by Daniel Brown, Chris De Benedetti, David DeBolt, Tom Lochner, Rebecca Parr, Mark Purdy, Carl Steward, and Marcus Thompson II.
INTERNET AND FILM
Adam Charles Bad Wound. “Acorn Song Honoring the Plants and Trees by the Costanoan Rumsen Carmel Tribe.” Video, 2:07, 2017. youtube.com/watch?v=ujVCNTO-ork.
Jr. NBA. “How to Play Basketball HORSE,” jr.nba.com/how-to-play-horse/.
Oakland Museum of California. “The Ohlone Basket Project: Recreating Ohlone History.” Video, 1:56,
2010. youtube.com/watch?v=sC-r9vqZ00k©.
Ortiz, Beverly R., Ohlone Curriculum with Bay Miwok Content and Introduction to Delta Yokuts. East Bay Regional Park District, 2015. ebparks.org/activities/educators/Ohlone_Curriculum.
Poor News Network/Prensa POBRE. “Corrina Gould: On the Desecration of Ohlone Shellmounds.” Video, 7:14, 2011. youtube.com/watch?v=O-epg_5Mo6s.
Provoost, Veerle. “Do Kids Think of Sperm Donors as Family?” Video, 12:26, 2016. ted.com/talks/veerle_provoost_do_kids_think_of_sperm_donors_as_family.
That’s a Family! What Kids Want Us to Know about What "Family" Means Today. Chasnoff, Debra, San Francisco, CA: GroundSpark, 2000.
Also visit NBA.com for names of players and their positions and stats.
SONGS
Merritt, Stephen. “The Book of Love,” performed by Peter Gabriel on Scratch My Back (Real World/Virgin: 2010).
David, Hal, and Burt Bacharach. “What the World Needs Now,” This Is Jackie DeShannon (Imperial Records: 1965).
ORGANIZATIONS
COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere)
3815 S. Othello Street, Suite 100, #310
Seattle, WA 98118
828-782-1938
colage.org
National Basketball Association
NBA.com
National Junior Basketball
NJBL.org
Our Family Coalition: Supporting Equity for All Families and Children
1385 Mission Street, Suite 340
San Francisco, 94103
415-981-1960
ourfamily.org
PFLAG (formerly Parents, Families, and Friends of
Lesbians and Gays)
Love, Penelope Page 14