At the end of this book is an excerpt from Christmas in Sugarcreek. Oh, this novel is a joy to write! I’m having a lot of fun checking in with Lilly and Robert and Caleb and Anson . . . and I have to say that Judith’s romance with Ben just might be one of the most romantic stories I’ve ever written.
Please look for the book’s release in October 2011.
Finally, no reader letter would be complete without conveying my thanks. Thanks to all the folks at HarperCollins for doing so much. Thank you for your edits and your advice. For your enthusiasm and your expertise. Thanks for setting up interviews and making the most beautiful covers! I feel so very lucky to be a part of such a wonderful publishing company.
Thank you to my agent, Mary Sue Seymour, for being everything she is. As always, I’m so thankful for my husband Tom, who drives me to research trips, waits patiently while I look at Amish quilts . . . and hardly ever complains when I forget to do the laundry. And most especially, thank you to all of you who read my books. You’re the reason I get up in the morning. I’m so grateful for you all.
With God’s blessings and my thanks,
10663 Loveland-Madeira Rd. #167
Loveland, Ohio 45140
Questions for Discussion
1. When I read the following verse from 2 Corinthians, I knew it was the perfect verse to guide me while writing this book. I liked how honest the verse was—that even long ago people still struggled with such emotions and actions. Is there a sin or a flaw in your life that keeps you from being the way God wants you to be?
I’m afraid that maybe when I come that you will be different from the way I want you to be, and that I’ll be different from the way you want me to be. I’m afraid that there might be fighting, obsession, losing your temper, competitive opposition, backstabbing, gossip, conceit, and disorderly conduct.
—2 Corinthians 12:20
2. I particularly loved the character of Mattie Lapp. I appreciated how her journey through cancer had ups and downs . . . as well as moments of joy and true heartache. Have you, or anyone you know, gone through a cancer battle? What were some of the emotions that you or they went through?
3. Graham’s faith and honor were tested in this novel. He realizes that until Jenna spread a lie about him, his faith had really never been tested. Do you think this is a fair assessment? Does everyone need to go through a difficult time in order to feel strong in his or her faith?
4 Jenna Yoder was a difficult character for me at first. However, I grew to like and even respect her. To me, she personified God’s grace. She repented and asked forgiveness from both Graham and Chris, and therefore had her own happy ending. Was this enough?
5. Mary Zehr had her hands full with her son, Abel. Her struggles with her child reminded me a bit of some of the challenges I faced with my kids when they were twelve and thirteen. How do you think Abel’s relationship with John will help both of them heal?
6. In The Protector, John must choose whether Jayne or Mary is right for him. In The Survivor, he must come to terms with his choice and change his life. Do you think he did things in the right order, or should he have decided whether or not to become Amish first?
7. Surviving was the obvious theme for this book. Not only did Mattie survive cancer, but Graham survived having his reputation stained, Jenna survived facing the truth—and its consequences—and all of them survived a storm. I believe we are all “survivors” of something. . . . What have you survived?
8. This Amish proverb seemed to fit this novel perfectly:
We value the light more fully after we’ve come through the darkness.
What “light” do you now value more fully than you used to?
Turn the page for an exciting preview of
Shelley Shepard Gray’s next book,
Christmas in Sugarcreek
On sale October 2011
Ten days until Christmas
5:45 p.m.
“Judith, are you sure you don’t mind locking up tonight?” Joshua asked, guilt heavy in his tone. “I feel bad letting you close the store two nights in a row.”
“You shouldn’t. I don’t mind staying late at all. That’s what sisters are for, jah?”
When Josh continued to look doubtful, Judith Graber lifted her chin and forced a smile she didn’t feel inside. “Come now, Gretta needs you. As does Will. Go on, or you’re going to be late. You two have plans, don’tcha?”
“Nothing much. We’re just getting together for supper with some other couples. You know, before things get too busy.”
She knew Joshua was talking about Christmas get-togethers and other holiday parties. Every frau she knew was busy baking and cooking for the planned activities.
Being single, she was not. “Go now, Joshua. I’ll be fine.”
“I promise I’ll close the rest of the week,” he said as he shrugged on his coat.
Judith crossed her arms over her chest. “You better,” she teased with a mock frown.
However, she doubted her bruder had even noticed her expression. He’d already opened the wreath-decorated door and let it close behind him with a jingling of bells.
Through the store’s large picture windows, Judith watched her brother weave in between two parked cars, almost knock into a woman carrying a wrapped package on the sidewalk, and then practically race toward his home.
His new home.
Just two months ago, he and Gretta had told the whole family that they were moving into a small house two blocks from the store. Living above their family’s shop no longer made sense, especially with Gretta in a family way again.
Not a member of the Graber family disagreed with their decision.
But, of course, none of them had been prepared for the adjustments that would have to be made because Joshua was no longer on the premises at all times. Now they each had to take turns opening and closing the shop. Well . . . she, Joshua, and her father. Mamm was still too busy at home with the little ones to come in much, and Caleb had recently started at the brick factory. Anson was still a little too young to be of any real help.
So it fell on Judith to do the majority of the work. As always.
Because she was the steady one.
The reliable one.
More like the one who had no life, Judith thought wryly. While Joshua had been falling in love, and her brother Caleb had been struggling with his future, and even as Anson wrestled with his own growing pains, she had held steady and had quietly done what was expected of her.
Everyone was appreciative, to be sure. But that didn’t ease the restless ache that seemed to be growing inside.
Wistfully, Judith looked out the window at the gently falling snow, the wheel ruts in the lane, the road beyond that led . . . somewhere else.
She wished she, like Joshua, had somewhere to run to. Wished she had someone who was counting the minutes until they saw her again.
If only . . .
Realizing she’d been standing there in a daze, Judith slapped her hands on the counter. “If you’re going to be so dreamy, you might as well be truthful about it,” she said out loud. “You don’t wish just for someone. You wish you had a man, a sweetheart, counting the minutes until he saw you again.”
Her hollow laugh echoed through the empty store. A store that surely needed tending—and she knew from experience that wishes and dreams surely didn’t get things done.
Since there were only five more minutes until closing time, she left her spot behind the counter and began her usual walk through the store. As she did so, she organized stock and picked up stray pieces of trash people had left behind. A child’s toy, a gum wrapper. Grocery list.
The bells on the door jingled merrily, causing her to straighten.
“Hello?” a deep voice called out.
Well, of course, someone decided to come in. Now that it was mere minutes before closi
ng time. Irritation flowed through her as she straightened and, with her hands full of trash and a metal toy car, darted toward the front. “May I help you?” she called out.
Then skidded to a stop. Because right there in front of her was Benjamin Knox.
Recognition flashed in his eyes as he glanced her way. And then a long, slow smile spread. Knowing and too personal. “Judith Graber. Hi.”
“Ben.” She lifted her chin, pretending that she wasn’t shocked to her core. Two years ago, Ben Knox had left Sugarcreek under a haze of disapproval. Gossips reported that he’d gone to Missouri to help some cousins on their dairy farm, but had, in truth, done little besides flirt with the girls.
She needed to remember that. Keeping her voice cool and even, she asked, “May I help you?”
Under his black hat’s thick felt brim, his hazel eyes seemed to take in every inch of her. She felt his gaze’s sweep as surely as if he’d run a hand right down her periwinkle dress, down her black apron, along her black stockings.
“Nee,” he said.
She couldn’t remember what she’d asked him. “Nee?”
“No, I don’t need your help,” he said with an almost-smirk. “I’m not here for anything special. Just thought I’d look around for a few minutes.”
Judith went cold. Not here for anything special? Was he purposely being rude, or was she being too sensitive?
Probably a bit of both.
Keenly aware of the tension she felt around Ben—that bit of unease she’d always felt around him—she cleared her throat. “Just to let you know, we’re closing in one minute.”
An eyebrow rose. “In exactly one minute? Then what happens? All customers get locked in?”
“Of course not!” Oh, but, of course, he was teasing her. “What I meant to say is that you should probably leave.”
“Right now?” He turned around and stared at the clock above the door. The ridiculous clock with birds on the face instead of numbers. The clock that chirped on the hour, much to the amusement of her mother . . . and to her extreme annoyance.
Before she could answer, the clock struck six and chirped. When he grinned, she felt her cheeks heat. Wished she was absolutely anywhere else but here. With him. Alone in the store.
Ben Knox bit the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out laughing.
It wasn’t because of the clock—his aunt Becca had a large collection of handpainted birdhouses on a shelf in her kitchen. He was used to such silly items.
No, what had him tempted to laugh was the girl standing across from him. Standing as stiff and looking as ruffled as the fierce mother sparrow painted on the clock’s face.
Though, of course, Judith Graber was far from being just a girl, and she was not drab at all. No, her bright blue eyes and lovely light brown hair with its streaks of auburn caught his eye like little else.
He found her exasperation with him amusing. And very little had amused him in a long time. “I guess the cardinal’s trill is my signal to leave?”
Her gaze seemed to give off sparks. “Jah.”
He turned away, but a nagging question turned him back around. “Why are you working here so late, and all alone? I would’ve thought your husband would want you home by now.”
“I work here because it’s my family’s store, of course.” After a pause, she looked down at her hands clasping the countertop. “Besides, I’m not married.”
“Are you courting?” It was rude of him to ask, but he couldn’t help himself.
Raising her chin, Judith’s lips pursed, just as if she was searching the air for the right words. At last, she sighed. “Nee . . . though it surely isn’t any of your business.”
Now it was his turn to be surprised. All his life, he’d thought of Judith Graber as being the ideal girl. She was lovely and kind and a hard worker—nothing like himself.
And she was loyal. Vividly, he recalled her standing up for her brothers any time someone ever threatened them, or put one of them down.
In short, she was the type of girl men like him never spent time with. She was too fine for Benjamin Knox, and everyone knew it.
For the first time, though, the thought made him sad. Like he’d missed his ride and was going to be reduced to waiting on a street corner for another person to pick him up—but no one was approaching.
“Why did you come back to Sugarcreek, Ben Knox?”
“Because it was time,” he said, though it really told her nothing. And told himself nothing, too. He’d come back because he was tired of Missouri and wanted to see his house before he put it on the market, even if the place where he’d grown up was full of hurt and bad memories.
When Judith still stared, all bright and beautiful, he forced himself to tell her the truth. Just this once.
“I wanted to come back and have Christmas in Sugarcreek. Just one last time.” Because he’d told her too much, he winked. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
With that, he forced himself to turn. Opened the door. Walked right under the chirping bird clock, and away from the temptation that was Judith Graber.
The bitter cold felt like heaven.
In spite of her best efforts, she still was a terrible cook, Lilly Miller decided as she pulled the roast chicken out of the oven and set it on the counter. Grimacing, she examined it closely. Hoping, that under closer scrutiny, things were better than she thought.
However, they weren’t. Without a doubt, she’d burned dinner. Again.
With a sigh, Lilly tugged on a wing. Instead of staying put, it pulled right off, just like it was relieved to be free of the burnt carcass. “I don’t blame you, wing,” she said out loud. “I’d escape this meal if I could, too. I’ve managed to ruin yet another meal. Now what am I going to feed Robert?”
For a moment, she stared at their house phone. It would be so easy to call her mom and ask for cooking help. But her mom was busy with baby Beth and certainly didn’t need Lilly bugging her again.
With a wince, Lilly knew she’d asked her mother for help more times during the last two months than she had for the first eighteen years of her life.
Being married was not for sissies! Though she and Robert had been married for two months now, Lilly was still finding it challenging. First there were the adjustments to be made, living as a Mennonite. Then there were all the challenges of being newlyweds. And being married to a man who’d been married before—to the perfect woman.
More than any of that, she was finding it difficult to be worthy of a man like Robert. A man who’d given up practically everything for her. After all, she couldn’t even roast a chicken properly. Or make decent mashed potatoes.
Or bake his favorite cake.
The fact of the matter was that sometimes when he left for work, Lilly wondered if he was glad to be away from her. She was young and impulsive and sometimes—okay, most of the time—spoke without thinking first.
Feeling even more depressed and annoyed with herself, she left the burnt offering and sat down at the kitchen table. Here it was, ten days before Christmas, and she’d promised him that she wouldn’t buy him a gift. Instead, she was going to make him something—just like he’d promised he was going to make something for her. But the problem was, she wasn’t crafty. She couldn’t sew. Or cook all that well.
Okay. She couldn’t cook at all.
As time marched closer to Christmas Day, a small knot of worry in her stomach seemed to grow bigger each day. She needed to make something wonderful for Robert for Christmas—or face the horrible truth: Sooner or later, Robert Miller was going to regret marrying her.
Caleb Graber rolled his neck as he walked along the snowy sidewalk, half attempting to get the stiffness out of it from lifting dozens of palates of bricks at the factory, half in an effort to get mentally prepared to see Rebecca.
It was pretty much a fact—he was completely in
fatuated with Rebecca Yoder.
Of course, there was no way he was going to act too eager to see her. Even he knew that girls didn’t like pushy, clingy men. But that’s how he’d felt. Like there wasn’t a moment during his day that he didn’t want to be with her.
Which took him completely by surprise.
From the first moment he saw her at Mrs. Miller’s, Caleb had been eager to see her again. After the year he’d had, constantly feeling a part of two worlds but never being a good match in either, the comfort he felt from being near Rebecca was a peace he couldn’t deny. She always looked at him with acceptance. As if seeing him made her day.
Which was how he felt. However, he was afraid he’d scare her off if she knew just how much he was starting to realize he needed her. If she realized that he was thinking about scary things whenever he was around her. Things like courting and marriage.
Marriage! At seventeen!
Even thinking about that made him woozy. No, he was just going to have to play it cool.
With that in mind, he stomped up the snow-covered stairs leading to the library and carefully schooled his features to look cool. Almost bored.
Before he could even open the front door and step inside, Rebecca walked right out. “Hi, Caleb.”
Her eyes were shining, her wheat-colored hair as shiny and glossy as ever. And, just like that, he gave in and grinned as well. Being “cool” was overrated anyway. “Hi, Rebecca.”
She already had on her black cloak and bonnet. “I didn’t want you to have to wait long, so I’m all ready,” she said by way of explanation.
“I wouldn’t have minded waiting. I wouldn’t have minded getting you at your house, either.”
Her smile dimmed. “There was no need for you to go there. This was closer to your work.”
Her words were true, but still Caleb felt awkward. So far, whenever he’d seen her, she had always insisted on meeting him someplace. It was almost like she never wanted him to see her house.
Or maybe it was that she didn’t want him to meet her family?
The Survivor Page 23