by Patti Larsen
Who talked like that? Okay, a bit of a relief there. He wanted to hang with my friends. Sheesh, Syd. Get over yourself. I shrugged, trying to think of a reason why he shouldn’t. After all, he still creeped me out.
“Not sure when we’re going again.” Man, that was so weak.
“I see.” He shifted the pack on his back one more time as if he wasn’t used to the weight. But his smile never faltered. “You could call me? On my cell phone?” He handed me a slip of paper from his pocket. I almost didn’t take it. The elegant handwriting scrolled so polished I wondered if his mother wrote it for him. “Your friends seem like the kind of people I’d really like to hang with.”
Those words sounded so awkward coming from his mouth I almost asked him if he moved here from another country. Like he was trying to sound like he belonged. Then it hit me. Of course. The outcasts. He wouldn’t fit in with anyone else. He and Simon would probably hit it off, one boy genius to another.
I had to ditch this guy somehow. So I lied yet again. Starting to be a bit of a habit.
“Sure.” I pocketed the note just as a leather-clad arm settled around my shoulders. I looked up, startled, to see Brad glaring at Benjamin. I wanted to shift myself away from him, feeling the zing of his latent power looking for a way in. I’d cut off the connection between us when I destroyed the locket he gave me in the battle with Cesard, but that didn’t mean the part of him wanting to be connected to my power was willing to give up.
Which meant Brad wasn’t either.
“Hey, Syd,” Brad said all casual, like he wasn’t really trying to intimidate the other guy.
I rolled my eyes. Boys. “Brad.” I shrugged at Benjamin who smiled brighter.
“I’ll look forward to your call then.” Benjamin hesitated another second, Brad glaring, the moment stretching out into impossible awkwardness until I just wanted to scream at him to leave. He finally did, bobbing his head at me, strolling down the hall and out of sight.
I pulled away from Brad. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.” Quaid was still watching. Damn him.
Brad seemed hurt. “I was just looking out for you, babe. That kid is creepy.”
At least I wasn’t the only one who saw it. Hey, wait a minute. He totally just didn’t.
“Don’t call me that,” I snapped, blushing, hating that my eyes drifted to Quaid who smirked his smug and hateful smile at me before oozing his tall leanness into the classroom, leaving Brad and I alone.
“Can I come over tonight?” He almost sounded desperate. It broke my heart.
“I… uh… I have to study.” What was with me today? Lies and lameness all around.
“I could help you.” Brad was a senior, graduating in a month. “We could study together.”
How do you say no to a puppy dog face when it’s as gorgeous as his? Chiseled jaw, dimples, green eyes that swallow you up with their need, wavy dark blond hair, a chest and shoulders that could hold up a house… sigh.
“Better not,” I said with far more regret than I should have. The bell rang, finally rescuing me. I dodged away from him, offering a bit of a wave which he answered with a forlorn one of his own.
I really had to do something about that. I just had no idea what.
***
Chapter Four
By the time school wrapped up for the day, yet another success/failure since I’d failed to really learn much, but succeeded in not harming myself or anyone else, I’d almost forgotten about Benjamin and my weak sort-of promise.
That is until I found myself crossing the threshold into Johnny’s and saw him sitting at a booth, smiling at me.
Oh crap. The last person I wanted to talk to, really.
“I’m going to head home.” Just looking at that smile made my head start pounding. Alison must have seen the pain in my face because her concern was immediate.
“Another migraine?” She squeezed my hand, offering me an excuse out of one of my own lies.
How convenient.
“Um, yeah.” I pulled away, offered a weak smile. “Getting them a lot lately.” Benjamin was up and moving toward us. For some reason I felt totally and utterly repelled. Like if he came near me I’d implode or something. The headache excuse was very real at last. “Sorry, gang.”
I left before they could stop me, heard them call after me to feel better, rushing out into the street and the quiet where the pressure finally went away. I let the glass door swing shut and welcomed the fresh air after what felt like the stifling scent of cooked meat and deep fried everything.
I risked a glance in the window as I walked away. Benjamin stood at our table, talking to my friends. My heart clenched then relaxed. They’d see he was not just a weirdo, like the rest of us, but a serious creep head. Alison would give him the boot in a heartbeat with her slicing wit. I had nothing to worry about. They would never adopt him.
I tried to convince myself of that all the way home and wondered where my sense of kindness and compassion had gone off to.
Mom was out when I arrived, only a lonely note on her favorite pale blue stationary there to greet me. I pulled it free from the front of the refrigerator, ignoring the soft scent of lilacs she always magicked into the paper and gave it a dejected read.
Gone to Erica’s for the evening—have your grandmother with me. Meira is staying with the Johnston’s for her field trip tomorrow. Left you some casserole in the fridge just in case.
Love you,
Mom
Well, it could have been worse. She could have left me Gram to babysit. My grandmother was still wacko, had been since a battle with another coven scrambled her brains. I really wasn’t the best one to watch her anyway. It was like she knew if she went off I’d automatically reach for her two favorite things just to shut her up. Chocolate and tequila.
Now that I thought about it, I wondered if she was as crazy as we all thought. She sure knew how to play me.
I sent a hopeful thought out around the house, searching for my silver Persian, Sassafras. A demon boy trapped forever in the body of a cat, Sassy annoyed me at times, typically arrogant, but at least he was someone I could talk to. But no luck. Even the cupboards in our basement were long gone. My vampire Uncle Frank and his undead girlfriend Sunny decided to move out after the whole alliance thing happened between the coven and their blood clan. The vampire couple rejoined the DeWinter family, and for the first time in a long time I missed them both.
This was turning out to be a lonely night.
I could have called Brad. Or gone back to Johnny’s. Alison would be more than happy to come over and watch movies with me. But I didn’t feel like normal company. And that startled me. I’d spent my entire life doing my best to fit in with regular people, wanting more than anything to be ordinary. This was the first time I could remember I actually wanted to hang out with someone who knew exactly how I felt.
My demon stirred inside me, grumbled. I shied from her immediately. That so wasn’t what I meant. Besides, if I started talking to her, actively communicating, didn’t that mean I was as crazy as Gram?
A couple of hours on the sofa with bad TV and my mother’s casserole chased by popcorn and I was ready to retreat to my room in lethargic depression.
I crashed on my bed, knowing I had homework, but not caring enough to do anything about it. My mind went to Benjamin and I wondered if he managed to last more than five minutes. The light on my laptop blinked, beckoning me to check my email, but I ignored it.
A motorcycle engine purred as it slowed down and pulled in the driveway. I knew that sound and who made it. All of my apathy vanished the instant the motor switched off and I felt his mind brush mine.
It was illogical and pathetic and drove me crazy, but I couldn’t help it. My heart leaped and I was smiling by the time I bounced my way down the stairs and out the kitchen door into the back yard.
Quaid waited for me, all tall and lean in his leather jacket and dark jeans. Why oh why couldn’t I just stay focused on the guy he was most of the tim
e rather than falling for the one he only showed me when we were alone?
I sat down on the bench and watched him fold himself down beside me, the creaking of his jacket a soft background to the sound of frogs in the pond next door. I could smell him from here, even with my feet pulled up, knees under my chin, fuzzy pink socks not as embarrassing as they should have been. Quaid had seen me at my absolute worst so there wasn’t much impressing to do.
I shouldn’t have felt this comfortable with a guy who made me so mad I wanted to hit him. But he was just what I needed right then and, from the soft smile on his face lighting his chocolate brown eyes, I wasn’t the only one looking for something.
The warm light above us just lit his handsome face, but threw his sharp bone structure into shadow.
“Home alone too, I see.” His voice always made me shiver, all deep and raspy like a rock singer. Nothing made it past him, but I wondered how he knew. There was no way he could scan past the wards on the house from the outside.
I didn’t have to ask. He slid his fingers over my foot just enough to make me shudder. “You feel lonely,” he said, like he knew what it meant.
I resisted the sudden urge to lean forward and hug him. Why couldn’t he be like this all the time? This Quaid I actually really liked. Really.
“How’s the bike?” Wouldn’t do for him to know. My demon grumbled about it, warming up the moment Quaid came near. She was shameless so I blamed most of it on her.
Still lying, Syd.
He shrugged his wide shoulders, leather talking. “Tweaked the engine on the weekend. Working much better.”
Eek. Small talk. I played with the fuzz on my socks, resting my chin on my knees. “The Vegas don’t mind you having the bike?”
After his so-called parents, the Moromonds, took off using negative blood magic to escape the coven, Quaid asked for sanctuary in the family and my mother happily granted it. I was never sure if it had anything to do with the fact she once promised I’d marry him. I tried not to hold it against her. Regardless of my matrimonial feelings, Martin and Louisa quickly welcomed him into their home. For a sweet and loving couple never able to have children of their own, Quaid was a good substitute, I guess.
“They’re fine,” he said. “Pretty much let me do whatever.” He sounded bummed out for some reason. Like having free rein to do what he wanted was somehow a bad thing.
That wasn’t it, though. I could feel his regret all around him and, on impulse, reached forward to take his hand. Just as our power connected I felt the cool smoothness of his skin and the strength in him as he squeezed back.
From the moment we met our power seemed like a perfect fit. Every time we touched, and sometimes when we didn’t, a bond flamed to life. My demon loved it, purred along in happiness. That was a good thing. My happy demon was a contained demon.
At least, I hoped so.
I shoved that aside as the image of his real parents flickered through my mind.
“Any luck?” He’d been searching for them ever since Demitrius told him the Moromonds weren’t his real parents, that he was taken by the evil pair and raised to be a power source for them. His magic felt so much stronger now he wasn’t being constantly drained for their use. So strong he was almost scary.
Minus the demon energy, he felt like me.
Quaid didn’t say anything, just shook his head and looked away. I held onto his hand, not wanting to let go even though I knew this moment would never last. It couldn’t. He would never allow it.
He surprised me this time. Quaid turned to look at me, leaning close, his arm sliding over the back of the bench until his hand touched my shoulder, the other resting on my feet, still gripped in my fingers. His face was so near I could smell his leather jacket, the subtle scent of something delicious on his skin. His power enfolded me like a warm blanket, hugging me tight.
I’d never felt so safe and happy in my entire life.
He opened his mouth to speak and I worried he’d ruin it.
My mistake.
“Syd,” he said, voice huskier than normal, “we have to talk about this.”
This. He could say this and I knew exactly what he meant. This thing between us.
I nodded. “Okay.” Dumb, but I couldn’t come up with much else.
“How do you feel about me?” At that moment? Yikes.
“Um… you first?” Coward.
He didn’t say anything for a long moment, so long that when he finally did I was almost startled by the sound of his voice.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Not a great start, really, but he smiled and not his smirky bad-boy smile either. A real one that made me more than a little warm. “As soon as I found out about you, from the day I heard I was supposed to marry you, I wanted to hate you.”
I found myself nodding. “Hear you.”
His white teeth flashed at me. “I don’t think you get it, Syd,” he said. “You found out that afternoon. I’d been hearing it forever.”
Finally, I saw why he was such a jerk from the beginning. No wonder. Having it drilled into you that you were supposed to marry a perfect stranger had to be worse than finding out at the last second. Okay, so both ways sucked. But I felt his pain.
“And now?” It was a fair question. “You said you wanted to hate me.” Was that hope for more in my voice? I really was losing it.
“I hate that she was right.” His chuckle was as yummy as the rest of him. “That Batsheva somehow knew we were meant for each other.”
My heart skipped and sang while my demon roared her approval.
And my mind screamed, No!
No, no, no. I couldn’t, it wasn’t possible, this was just some silly attraction I would totally forget the next time he was an ass to me. I couldn’t be tied to a witch for the rest of my life, another coven member. I had agreed to learn to use my magic, yes. But only so I wouldn’t be a danger to anyone when I chose to leave the family. If I gave in to Quaid, if I agreed with him, that would be it.
I would be lost to the coven forever.
Quaid must have seen the terror in my face, felt it in my panicked thoughts, because he didn’t give me a chance to pull away. Instead he leaned in the last few inches and pressed his warm lips against my mouth. I breathed him in, felt the pressure of his perfect teeth behind the smooth heat of his skin, the tingle as his tongue ran gently over my bottom lip, his breath heating the trail of moisture left behind.
My whole body surged with want, but somehow I managed to hold still. My demon demanded I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him back, but I held myself tight and hated myself for it.
Quaid pulled back with a soft sigh. His dark eyes met mine one last time.
“Whatever your fears,” he said, “whatever is causing this need you have to be like him,” he shoved an image of Brad into my mind, “you can never be that girl, Syd. You’re a witch. And until you understand that, you’ll always be lonely.”
I shivered, knowing he was right, wishing I could just stop and accept. But the part of me that fought my magic my whole life was stronger than my need for him.
I felt terrible, miserable. He finally poured out his heart to me, was totally honest with no walls between us and I was turning him away. He didn’t look nearly as upset as I was, though. Oddly it made me a little mad.
Quaid climbed to his feet and offered me a half bow, that old familiar smirk firmly planted on his face. It was almost a comfort.
“You need a partner, Sydlynn Hayle,” he said. “Not a puppet. Speaking of puppets… I’ll leave you to him.”
There was no way to miss his meaning. As Quaid walked out of my back yard, Brad walked into it. The story of my life. Why, oh why did the Universe insist on this cycle of Quaid and Brad and Quaid and Brad… it made me dizzy just thinking about it, let alone living it.
He scowled at the sound of the motorcycle. “What was he doing here?”
I sighed. “He’s a family friend.”
Brad glared as Quaid drove off,
the glow of his taillights shining through the thin bushes. I watched him go with real regret while my demon sulked. But I dodged that bullet so many times in my life, the threat of being sucked into this world forever, I wasn’t about to give it up for anyone.
Not even him.
Brad took the place Quaid left. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Him too? Just the thought of it made me tired.
“Brad…” I tried for weeks to cut ties with him, but his latent power had a taste of what life would be like with live magic around and he wasn’t about to let me go that easily.
“Syd, I know you said you just want to be friends.” His hands fidgeted constantly until I reached forward to still them. He smiled at me, a sweet smile. “And I guess if that’s what you really want, I’ll just have to take it.”
Whew. So I was doing something right. My mind already drifted to Quaid and a now horrible jab of indecision. Did I just turn him away? Did I really? Maybe I should call him. Talk some more.
“I just wanted to ask you,” Brad went on, oblivious to the war going on inside my head, “about prom.”
I knew Quaid would listen. That he was right about us. Maybe that’s why I…
Hang on. Prom?
I gaped at Brad. “Huh?”
“I wanted you to be my date,” he said. “If you want.”
Prom. The most amazing of nights. Blessed, beautiful normal. Just a girl and a guy, a dumb corsage and a poofy dress.
Except for the first time, the pull of Quaid was stronger than the pull of ordinary. Even of prom. Amazing, really. And Brad… poor Brad was just bad news.
Before I could open my mouth to turn him down, he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Just think about it. Okay?”
It was easier to smile and wave as he left, to let him think I would go with him rather than turn him down completely. Maybe he’d forget if I just didn’t give him an answer? Um, yeah. Right, Syd.
Coward.
***
Chapter Five