by Patti Larsen
“Sydlynn!” I walked up the driveway, dragging my feet but smiling for her sake. “How are you dear?”
“Fine, Mrs. Hammond,” I lied. “I was wondering if Pain, um, Mia, was home?”
Mrs. Hammond grabbed my hand and used it to pull me into a very strong hug.
“She is! Come in! I know she’ll be thrilled to see you!” If it weren’t for the woman’s dominating excitement, I probably would have run. But she had me in her firm grasp, pulling me forward into the foyer of the house and closing the door behind me with a finality that felt like I’d been led to the gallows.
I looked up at a flash of movement and saw Pain—okay, she was Mia 100% in that get up—standing on the staircase, watching me.
“Sweetheart,” Mrs. Hammond gushed, “Sydlynn came by for a visit! Isn’t that lovely?”
“Lovely,” Mia said.
I was led, unresisting, into the formal living room I’d only glimpsed the last time I was in the house and seated on a wide leather sofa. Everything in the room looked brand new and unused, polished to a high sheen, including the caramel colored hard wood floors.
Mia took a seat across from me on the matching love seat, the glass coffee table between us while Mrs. Hammond fluttered around smiling like she never had guests.
“I’ll go fetch some snacks,” she said, off again before I could tell her I wasn’t hungry. Not at all. In fact, my stomach was in such a tight knot I could barely breathe.
“What are you doing here?” So much for the preamble. Or anything resembling friendship. Mia’s flat look didn’t waver. It was clear I wasn’t welcome. But I hoped to change all that.
“I wanted to talk,” I said. “I don’t understand what happened, why everything fell apart.” It came across genuine because it was. Yes, I was there to manipulate her with magic, but my intentions were pure.
She softened a bit, not quite so rigid, her eyes no longer empty. “Neither do I,” she said. “It doesn’t have to be like this, Syd.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“You can’t change me.” Her shoulders went back, face stern. When she sat like that, she reminded me of someone suddenly. I couldn’t place who, but now that she was free of all that makeup, it was as if I’d met her before her Goth phase.
Weird.
“I know that too,” I said. “And I don’t want to. I guess I just wish… we had a great thing going. Did you know this was the first time in my life I’ve ever had real friends?”
Again she softened, shoulders falling forward, a touch of grief on her face. “Me too,” she said.
“We move so much,” I said, watching her carefully but being honest. Nothing else would do and I knew somehow only honesty would be accepted. She’d see right through me otherwise. “I never had the chance to really get to know anyone. And I’ve spent my life pretty much a screw up, so I never expected I’d have friends like you.”
My eyes welled with real tears and I snuffled a little. Wow, I was really feeling sorry for myself. I heard a rustle of cloth and she was there beside me, her hands gripping mine, blue eyes full of real pain. No wonder she chose that name.
“Us too,” she whispered to me like it was a secret. “This is the longest I’ve lived anywhere. And every time we move, I feel like I’ve left another part of myself behind.” She wiped at a tear on her cheek before smiling a little. “Being your friend means a lot to me.”
I squeezed her hands. “You too,” I said, meaning it from the bottom of my heart.
She sat back a bit and laughed. “I’m so glad you came,” she said. “Now we can be one big happy family again.”
My own answering smile faded and I sighed. “I wish we could,” I said. “But it’s just not the same.”
The look of hurt on her face was almost physically painful to me. And for the first time since she touched me I felt the spark of her power rise. I very gently opened myself to it and allowed her to feel it there. Her eyes grew slightly wide, though I’m sure she didn’t know what she was feeling, only that we were somehow connecting on another level.
“Syd,” she leaned close, “you’re like a sister to me. I don’t want to lose you. But I love Benjamin. There is something about him… it feels like he fills up all the pieces that I’ve lost, you know?” She seemed desperate for me to understand, to agree. “For the first time in years I feel like the real me, not some fraud trying to find her identity.”
I wished I didn’t have to do what I was about to do. And in all honesty, I didn’t have to. I could have left well enough alone, tried again with her and Alison and the others. But I knew ultimately the outcome would be the same.
So, with all of that spinning in my mind, I opened up a little further and let her see how Benjamin felt to me.
She recoiled instantly, hands pulling free of mine. She stood beside the couch, shaking and wide-eyed as if I’d just told her there was no Santa Claus.
“Mia, just listen, please.”
She shook her head, tears returning to her eyes. “What was that?”
“You know what it was.” I kept my voice low and soft, not wanting to scare her. “If you would just look at him, really look, you’ll see it too.”
Mia hesitated, shivering and hugging herself. I had her. I know I did.
Mrs. Hammond chose that moment to return with a tray of cookies and milk. I would have gotten through to Mia if I’d had another moment, but that moment was lost when her mother bustled into the living room with a huge smile.
“Who’s hungry?” She looked back and forth between Mia and I as if sensing at last something wasn’t quite right.
“Not now, Mother,” Mia said in the saddest voice I’d ever heard. “Syd was just leaving.” Mia turned and left, walking upstairs and out of sight.
So much for that plan.
***
Chapter Thirteen
Mrs. Hammond seemed very disappointed when I left. I took a few cookies out of pity and thanked her. That made her feel a little better, I think.
Now if only I could find a way to cheer myself up.
I’d screwed up. Now not only did Mia know there would be no reconciling between me and Benjamin, she also understood there was something about me that called to her. Unlike Brad, the latent talent, hers had been active once. And now it was breaking free, it would do anything it could to finish the job.
Mom was going to kill me.
The sun felt very warm as I plodded down the front steps on my way home. It was so cheery and bright I almost snarled at the sky. It was like my own little cloud of gray followed me everywhere and the sun was intruding on that.
Not in the best of moods to have a conversation with anyone.
Naturally, Brad chose that moment to approach.
“Hi, Syd.” His smile was like the sun. Offensive somehow.
I grunted back.
“I was thinking, since we’re going to prom together, we should maybe have dinner and talk about our plans?”
So sneaky. That sounded suspiciously like a date. And hey, wait a second. I hadn’t said yes. Had I? “I’m sure whatever you want to do is fine,” I said.
Brad’s hand caught my arm. What was with guys grabbing me today? “Just for pizza or something?” His green eyes were full of desperation. Stupid latent power. I was in the right mood to kick him out of my life forever. Perfect timing.
“No, Brad.” I pulled my arm free and backed up. “I’m done, okay? No prom, no dates. I’m not your girlfriend. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
Trouble with a latent who connects with a witch? They just can’t take no for an answer.
Brad lunged forward and caught both of my arms this time, a tint of anger and horrible need in his face. “You don’t mean that,” he whispered. “I’ve done everything you wanted. Stayed away during school, promised not to bug you about how I feel.” He swallowed visibly, his hands convulsing on my upper arms so hard I was sure I’d be bruised when he finally let me go. “Please, Syd. I need you. Please.
”
It was too much. The only person who wanted me only did because of my power. It wasn’t real, any of it.
I jerked loose from him and poured power into my answer.
“It’s over,” I said, seeing him sway from the impact of my magic. “We’re done.”
Brad’s eyes welled with tears. Seriously?
But he stayed put and didn’t follow me when I turned and walked away.
The sound of Quaid’s motorcycle engine made me flinch. I watched him drive away out of the corner of my eye, knowing he witnessed my little scene with Brad. And that still wasn’t enough for him?
Fine. Jerks galore. Piss off.
***
Chapter Fourteen
There was only so much crying into my pillow I could take. Mom took one look at me and let me retreat to my room, joining me later with a tray of snacks, but leaving me in peace. Even Sassy didn’t say a word and he usually gave me a hard time for being such a whiner.
I joined Mom and Meira for dinner, but the conversation was pretty much just the two of them. Even my little sister seemed quiet though, so it was a depressing twenty minutes.
I was about to retreat back to my room to sulk when Uncle Frank arrived. His appearance instantly jerked me out of my own worries, remembering his concerns about Sunny, but that faded as she walked through the door behind him.
I loved Sunny. Even though she was this really old vampire with enough power to probably tear me apart, she was the sweetest person I knew. I lined up for a Sunny hug when I caught the look Uncle Frank gave Mom.
Something wasn’t right.
When Meira backed away from the undead bombshell and I took my turn, Sunny barely embraced me before dropping her arms, immediately crossing them over her chest.
Sunny’s hugs were usually long and loving with whispered words of encouragement thrown in for good measure. She didn’t meet my eyes, or Mom’s, just kind of stood there and looked uncomfortable.
It was the last straw. Even Uncle Frank seemed too distracted to say hi. Instead of letting my heart be broken any further, I slunk away back to my room and did a little more pillow crying.
It wasn’t long before Sassy landed beside me hard enough to shake the bed.
“Not everything is about you, you know.”
I expected a shot from him, but not the way he said it. I looked over at him where he hunched next to my pillow, amber eyes half-lidded. He seemed almost sad.
“I know that,” I shot back, but his tone had diffused me enough it barely came across as snarky.
“I’m not sure you do.” He sighed and curled up, chin on paws.
I was not in the mood for another fight. “Can we just not talk, please?”
He didn’t say a word so I took that as a yes.
Then it hit me. Sassy. His dad. He wasn’t talking about Uncle Frank and Sunny just now, how not everything was about me.
He was talking about himself.
I tried to muster some sympathy, but I felt wrung out.
My demon chose right then to start hammering against the walls of the wards my mother put up. I could feel them weakening under her anger and frustration.
Stop it, I snapped at her
She snarled at me and hit harder.
I said stop! I’m not letting you have control of me ever again.
We’ll see. Her voice echoed in my mind. You have to sleep sometime.
I shuddered. She was right. What was I going to do?
Sassy will be here. And Mom. That was weak. But I knew I could never do this on my own.
Not if they are sleeping too. She wouldn’t. Oh, but she would use her power on them if it meant freedom.
We need to help each other. I was already tired of this conversation and it had barely begun. If we don’t stop fighting we’ll never figure this out. Wouldn’t you rather be part of me than have to force me to let you have control?
No, she hissed spitefully. I’d rather you weren’t around at all.
Oh no, she did not. This is my body, in case you forgot.
It’s my body too, she snarled. And I think I’ve been very understanding the last seventeen years, letting you have all the fun.
Fun, right. She had no idea.
I’m tired of being trapped in here, she said. I like what being free feels like.
I should have felt sorry for her. Essentially, my demon lived in prison and she saw me as her warden. . But I just couldn’t bring myself to feel bad for her when I was still deep in my own pity party.
You’ll stay in there and behave yourself, I shot back, wincing because I sounded just like my mother.
Sweet dreams.
She refused to talk to me after that cryptic parting shot. Which only made me crankier.
My door creaked and small feet pattered across my carpet. A little hand crept into mine as Meira leaned over me.
“Are you asleep?” Her whisper was loud enough to wake the whole house.
“No,” I snapped.
She was quiet for a long moment. “Can I sleep with you?” Her amber eyes glowed in the dark of my room.
“No,” I said again. “Go to your room.” I knew I shouldn’t be taking it out on Meira, but she had very unfortunate timing.
She hesitated again. “But… I’m scared. I had another nightmare last night.”
So what? I had a demon trying to take me over, doing things with my body I wasn’t aware of. What was a stupid bad dream compared to that?
“Take Sassy,” I said. “And go away.”
I heard her draw a sharp breath, knew I hurt her feelings, but I couldn’t help it. “Did you hear me?” I sat up in bed and stared her in the face. “Get out of my room, now.”
Meira choked on a sob and ran. I heard a nasty huff behind me and felt something sharp jab my side. I snarled a bad word, turning to see Sassy bound from the bed and go after my sister.
He paused at the door long enough to glare at me. “Nice going, Syd.”
I flopped back down on my bed as soon as he was gone.
Alone. Good. I was glad. They could all just go away.
And as for my demon… we’d just see who was stronger in this relationship.
I would not fall asleep. I. Would. Not.
***
I woke up half way down the stairs, almost falling over my own feet in the dark when I realized I was moving. Disoriented, I grabbed at the banister, just catching myself from falling.
I heard my demon growl in frustration inside my head and realized what happened.
I said no! Why couldn’t she just leave it be?
And I said yes. She fought me for a moment, but obviously wasn’t strong enough when I was awake to do anything about it.
That’s it. I stomped my way to the basement, passing the kitchen clock that shone 2:13AM. I flopped into the center of the pentagram and focused my power on my demon.
I re-examined the gash keeping us apart while she paced on the other side, chuffing unhappily under her breath. The protective barrier was still there, stupid thing. I forced myself to reach for it and felt the pain come back.
It’s no use, she said. We’ll never be one.
Well, we have to do something, don’t we?
She obviously agreed because she calmed a little.
Just let me have our body at night, she said. You won’t miss it when you’re sleeping.
I shuddered at the thought. Where do you take… us, anyway?
Running, she said. In the wild. It’s amazing.
That’s why my body hurt so much. All night?
She just smiled smugly at me.
It was wrong. I couldn’t agree to that. What if someone sees you? You do know the family will blame me, right? If we were forced to uproot the coven and move again because she felt the need to stretch our legs, I’d be in huge trouble.
I’m not stupid, she shot back. I’m well aware of our safety and that of the family.
I hesitated, thinking about it. Could I live with it? If it kept her q
uiet? Problem was, what if that wasn’t enough for her after a while? What if she decided she wanted to know what going to school was like?
Stupid. She lived inside my mind so she knew what I was thinking.
Been there with you and done it to death, she said. Though I wouldn’t mind a little more private time with the yummy Quaid Moromond.
My stomach clenched. Ew. Just. Ew. Don’t say stuff like that.
Prude, she said.
True. Guilty. Still.
I was about to deliver a really good come back when I felt/heard Meira call for me.
Syd!
It was so loud in my head I immediately leapt to my feet and was running up the basement stairs before I knew I moved.
Syd, please, help, he’s here, he’s taking me! Syd! SYD!
Panic gave me wings. I cleared the corner in the kitchen and raced up to the second floor, pounding down the hall to her door, feeling her go, knowing I was too late, losing her, reaching for her even as her mind slipped from mine.
Before I even slammed open her door, I knew Meira was already gone.
***
Chapter Fifteen
There was glass everywhere, crunching under my slippers, sparkling on Meira’s bed in the dim glow of her nightlight. A breeze blew in the wide open window, her gauze curtains swaying in the wind. I ran to the gap, looked out, but knew it was foolish. If I couldn’t feel her anymore, there was no way I’d be able to spot her.
Unless she was… I flinched from that train of thought. No, she was still alive. Our connection remained. But she wasn’t able to contact me any longer. Which meant she was either being warded or she was unconscious.
My fear for her was so strong I just stood there, locked in place, not knowing what to do.
“Syd…” his voice came very soft, low and full of hurt. I spun and went for the bed, falling to my knees next to Sassy. His fur was matted with blood, amber eyes barely glowing.
“Sassy.” I sobbed even as I reached for my demon. She didn’t fight or hesitate, offering me everything she had. As Sassy spoke, I did my best to heal him of multiple injuries.