by Regan Ure
His tongue tangled with mine and he groaned against my lips. Our kiss intensified and I was getting lost in the new reactions to him when he pulled away.
“We need to stop,” he whispered breathlessly, rolling onto his back away from me.
For a moment, I felt nervous; I had no idea what I was doing, but I sat up and faced him.
“I don’t want to stop,” I whispered.
He didn’t move.
“I don’t want you to feel pressured to do something you’re not ready to do,” he told me.
I hadn’t expected him to say that. I’d actually expected him to take me in his arms and kiss me. Did he not want me? A little surprised and hurt, I sat quietly, unsure of what to say or do, so I said what I was thinking.
“Don’t you want me?” I said, trying not to sound as hurt as I felt.
He sat up quickly and faced me.
“Of course I want you, Scar,” he said. “From the moment I saw you, before I even found out you were my mate, I wanted you.”
Butterflies began to flutter in my stomach at his words. He wanted me.
“I just don’t want you to feel pressured to do this,” he explained as he reached for my hand in the darkness and I felt his fingers thread with mine.
“I don’t,” I assured him as I leaned closer and touched my lips to his.
He remained still as his lips moved against mine tentatively. It was like he was holding back.
“I want you,” I whispered as I pulled my lips from his.
“Are you sure?” he asked hoarsely. I could feel his control was hanging on by a thread.
“Yes.”
He reached for me and pulled me over him. His strong arms positioned me above him and I straddled him as his lips crushed against mine. He kissed me urgently like he was letting his need and want for me take control.
I let him take the lead as I felt my body come alive against his. I wanted this, but I couldn’t help the nervousness that was building up inside of me. Our bodies fit perfectly together and I felt his need for me. I was scared I’d be bad at this and I was scared it would hurt.
I snaked my arms around his neck and threaded my hands through his hair as he kissed me like I was a life source keeping him alive. Moments later he stopped kissing me and I was breathing hard in anticipation of what was to come.
“I can’t tell you how many times I thought and dreamed about this moment,” he whispered to me as he lifted me up off his lap and lay me down on the bed.
Instead of lying down with me, he shifted off the bed. I lifted up with my elbows.
“What are you doing?” I asked hoarsely as light flooded into the room.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment and I’m not going to miss a thing,” he stated as he walked back over to the bed. “I want to see all of you.”
Feeling a bundle of nerves knot in my stomach, I licked my lips and his eyes narrowed at the gesture as he knelt on the bed with one knee. I lay down flat and he moved onto the bed. His body covered mine carefully and he kept the majority of his body weight off me by holding himself up on his elbows on either side of me.
He kissed me tenderly before I felt him settle his body between my legs. He ran a hand from my thigh to my knee softly as he guided it around his waist.
“God, you feel so good,” he whispered against my lips as he ground his body against mine.
As good as it felt and as much as I wanted to give in to the new feelings of wanting him in a physical way, I was scared. I debated whether to come clean or just hold my tongue and pretend. It only took me a moment to decide it was best to come clean.
Feeling him against me, I felt a wave of panic at the thought of what was going to happen and I stiffened.
Cade stopped.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as he lifted his lips from mine and searched my face.
“I lied,” I blurted before I could chicken out, letting my hands fall from him.
His forehead creased in confusion as he pulled away from me and sat up beside me. The worrying thing was that he’d put space between us and I felt the loss of his warmth.
“What did you lie about?” he asked, sounding confused and strained at the same time.
I took a deep breath and let it out. The reality was that I was scared he was going to be angry with me.
“I lied about being with other guys,” I confessed nervously while watching him for his response.
For a moment he just stared at me and then he surprised me by smiling. I expected him to be angry so the fact that he wasn’t threw me off guard.
“You’ve never been with another guy?” he asked with that stupid grin on his face. He wasn’t angry.
“Never,” I answered, shaking my head, confirming that I was a virgin.
“Why did you lie about it?” he asked with curiosity as he cocked his head to the side and watched me twist my hands in my lap.
“It was hard thinking about you with all the other girls you’ve been with…and I wanted you to know what that felt like,” I replied truthfully. I dropped my gaze, unable to face him. “Even though I knew you’d find out the truth when we mated.”
“Scar,” he said as he reached for and lifted my chin. “I wished you hadn’t lied to me.”
Had I read him wrong? Was he still angry with me?
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you being with other guys and to be honest…it was hard,” he admitted in a serious tone. His smile had faded.
“I understand why you did it. But I want you to understand that from the time I first met you, all the girls before you ceased to exist. You are all I want and need,” he declared softly, taking both my hands in his.
Everything inside of me turned to mush at his beautiful words.
“Do you understand that?”
I nodded my head, unable to form a response.
“Come here so I can show you how much I want you,” he instructed gently, but I could see a hunger in his eyes. Still mesmerized by his words, I moved closer to him and he pulled me onto his lap as my legs wrapped around him.
“I don’t want you to be scared,” he whispered as he feathered a gentle kiss to my lips.
“I’ll take it slow, okay?” he said against my throat as he feathered another kiss. Any coherent thoughts I had were fleeing out of my mind at the feel of his lips trailing down my throat and I arched my neck to give him better access.
“You need to understand that I’m also going to have to mark you with a bite to complete the mating,” he said, pulling his lips from my neck and cradling my face in his hands.
“Where?” I asked.
His fingers trailed from my neck to the place where my neck curved into my shoulder. At that point he said, “Here.”
“Okay.”
And with that one word I gave him my consent to take my virginity and mark me as his.
That night he brought me to life with his body and just before we reached our peaks together, he brought his mouth to the point that he’d shown where he would mark me and I felt him press a kiss to the spot.
Then he opened his mouth and I felt the gentle graze of his teeth against the sensitive skin before he sank his teeth into me. I bit down on my lip from the pain.
I was still breathing hard when he rested his forehead against mine. His bite still throbbed, but it didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would.
“I’m sorry, Scar,” he whispered to me. My heart fluttered at the remorse he felt for hurting me.
“It’s okay,” I whispered back and kissed him.
No matter how strongly I’d felt for him before, there was no disputing the feelings that now were bursting from my heart for my mate. I loved him and I would do whatever I had to in order to keep him safe.
I saw my intense feelings mirrored in his eyes. He felt the same.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Scarlett
I stretched across the bed when I woke up. I was alone, but I couldn't help smiling when I remembered what had
happened last night. I still ached in some places, but I couldn't wait to do it again. After the initial mating, we'd done it again and—unbelievably—it had been even better.
I’d also found out that unless I was in heat it was impossible for me to fall pregnant.
A blush tinged my cheeks at the naughty memories. All I could say was wow. I'd heard people talk about it before, but I had no idea it could be that good—and Cade, he was so good at it.
I pushed the reason he was probably so good at it from my mind. Like he'd said, the girls before me ceased to exist. I was addicted and, like an addict, I needed more. My plans to keep him in the bedroom for the day were spoiled.
I wondered where Cade was, but I wasn't going to get up yet. It was still too early so I lay on my stomach, hugging a pillow, about to doze off again when I heard the door open.
I opened my eyes to see Cade dressed in a pair of sweats, carrying breakfast on a tray.
"Hi," he greeted as he carried the tray over to the bed. I sat up, pulling up the covers to cover up my nakedness. It wasn't like he hadn't seen all of it before, and he'd studied me well, but I didn't feel comfortable sitting naked in front of him.
"Hi," I greeted as he set the tray over my lap. "What's this for?"
"I wanted to make sure you got something to eat," he said, and then added with a grin, "Especially after last night."
My grin matched his and I felt a little shy all of a sudden. It was going to take a little time to get used to knowing him in that way without feeling shy about it.
His smiled broadened at my shyness.
"Eat," he instructed. "I'm going for a shower."
While he was busy in the shower, I was trying to decide if I was going to join him in there. The rumble of my stomach pulled me out of those thoughts, though, and back to the food in front of me.
I was starving.
He was so thoughtful. He'd brought me breakfast in bed. No one had ever done that for me. There was no denying that the more time I spent with him, the more I was growing to love him.
I'd eaten most of the food by the time he walked out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist.
It took all my self-control not to push him down onto the bed again. Both times that night he'd been in control and I wanted to have my turn at being in charge.
"Don’t give me those eyes," he said, shaking his head as he headed into his wardrobe.
"What eyes?" I asked innocently while fluttering my eyelashes.
"The 'come to bed' eyes," he said as he reappeared wearing a pair of jeans and pulling a shirt over his head.
"And why can't I look at you like that?" I asked, watching him.
He sighed and turned to face me.
"I'd like nothing better than to keep you in bed all day, but you need to take it easy," he explained. I was a little achy, but other than that I felt fine.
"Why?" I asked.
"Did you forget?" he asked.
"Forget what?" I asked, having no clue what he was talking about.
"You will shift for the first time today," he revealed.
First shift. Oh, crap!
I'd forgotten about that. Then I remembered it was supposed to be very painful. That really put a damper on my nice and warm fuzzy feeling I'd been experiencing since last night.
I'd been so deep in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Cade was sitting in front of me on the bed.
"Don't be scared, Scar. I'll be there every step of the way," he assured me as he tilted my chin up so I was looking at him.
I gave him a brief nod.
"I just need to go and do a couple of things, but I'll be back soon," he informed me.
He saw the fear in my eyes.
"Don't worry, it shouldn't happen for another few hours and I'll be with you."
I swallowed my fear at his reassurance and gave him a tentative nod.
"Mind-link me if you need me sooner, okay?" he told me.
"Okay."
He gave me a feathered kiss to my forehead before he headed out of the room, leaving me alone.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Some of the women had compared it to childbirth. No matter how brave I thought I was, I had to admit that scared me. The bonus was that I would be able to shift into my wolf form and run free. It was something I'd been looking forward to since I'd discovered I was a werewolf.
I spent the next hour holed up in Cade's study, trying to get some stuff done on my laptop. I'd managed to move across some of my stuff so I could still do what I needed to. It was only a temporary arrangement, but we had yet to talk about a permanent one.
Usually I'd be in the gym training, but I was taking it easy. I didn't want to tire my body out before my first shift. If I thought for a second that Cade had suggested I take it easy because he was feeling overprotective, I would be in the gym.
I couldn't help wondering when I was going to be able to feel Cade's emotions as well. Blake had said that when two werewolves mate, the link between them strengthens and they can feel emotions as well as hear each other’s thoughts. It was hard at times keeping a handle on my own emotions, so the thought of feeling two sets of emotions was going to be difficult.
But I wasn't one to back down from anything. With time and perseverance, I would master what I needed to embrace my new life.
My fingers touched my temple, trying to ease a slight headache that set in as I studied the document on my laptop. It was starting to get warmer so I opened a window and hoped that would ease the heat in the room.
But after about ten minutes, the heat in the room was stifling and I decided to go to the kitchen to get something cold to drink. My throat was feeling so dry it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
I closed my laptop and left it on the desk. By the time I made it into the kitchen, I felt the sweat beading on my forehead. It was then that I realized that it was my internal heat that had increased as I brushed the sweat from my forehead.
Then it occurred to me that I might be starting my first shift. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. Cade had said it would be a few hours, but it had only been an hour since I'd last seen him.
It was happening earlier than he expected.
Cade?
I waited for a response, but there was nothing. Closing my eyes again, I tried to concentrate harder.
Cade? I pushed the thought to him.
Suddenly, it was getting harder to breathe. It was like the heat inside of me was suffocating the air out of my lungs.
I clutched the kitchen counter as I tried to draw in small, desperate breaths. Trying to breathe was becoming more difficult as the fire inside of me felt like it was moving from the inside of me to the outside.
I gasped in pain as my grip on the counter loosened and I fell to my knees. I tried to draw a breath in as my body burned in pain. In my haze of pain and panic, I tried to call out to Cade again as I clutched my hands to my chest.
Cade!
I literally screamed in my mind.
Nothing. I slumped forward and lay on the kitchen floor, gasping, trying to ride out the pain that had my body gripped. It felt like my body was being ripped apart from the inside, like every cell was being ripped apart and slammed back together.
My scream that had built up inside of me came out as a whimper. There was no one to hear me.
Scar?
It was Cade. Another rush of pain gripped me and I fisted my hands to try to stop a scream from escaping.
Help! I pushed the thought to Cade.
I'm coming!
I just had to hold on until he got here.
Another wave pain of sliced right through me and this time I let out the scream. I'd never experienced such intense pain before and I prayed that I never did again.
As much as I wanted to hold on until Cade got there, the pain and heat became too much. The darkness that would take away the pain beckoned to me and I closed my eyes and gave in.
I was drifting out of the dark
ness that had given me refuge from the pain. The more conscious I became, the worse the pain became. My body still felt like it was on fire, burning from the inside. Sweat was pouring off me. I opened my eyes and found myself upstairs in Cade's room. My body arched as pain sliced through me again and I screamed.
"I'm here, Scar." I heard Cade trying to soothe me as he held my hand. The wave of pain only eased for a second before my eyesight changed. Normal vibrant colors changed to various shades of amber.
"My eyes," I gasped in panic as I found Cade's concerned gaze above me.
"It's okay, it is part of the change," he assured me softly, holding my hand in both of his.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when it started," he whispered to me. He felt guilty that I'd started it on my own with no one to help.
It was too much effort to talk and I felt so weak. I squeezed his hand so that he would know that I didn't blame him for it. I knew him well enough to know that he would have a good reason why he didn't answer me sooner.
I lost track of time and every moment of the burning pain felt like forever. Cade soothed me with words and a wet cloth dipped in cold water that he pressed to my forehead, easing the heat.
I groaned and gasped as I thrashed. My body was transforming, pushing the limits of my human shell. My bones ached; it felt like they'd been broken and put back together.
A good while later the heat began to ease, and along with it the pain. But I was exhausted and I could barely keep my eyes open.
"Sleep, Scar," soothed Cade with a feathered kiss to my forehead.
I heard the sound of a door opening.
"How's she doing?" I heard Blake ask.
"It's over, she's sleeping."
Cade let out a sigh.
"That was intense," Blake murmured.
"I know," Cade murmured. "Watching her in that much pain and being unable to do anything about it was torture."
"I know. Is there anything I can do to help?" Blake offered.
"Will you just let everyone know that it's over and she's sleeping?" Cade responded and let out a heavy sigh. "I don't want to leave her."
I heard the door close and then a few moments later I felt the bed dip. He didn't reach for me. Maybe it was because he wasn't sure how tender my body was, but I needed him.