by Sarah Noffke
At this Zuma buried her head in her hands. Now she doubted her reasons for staying. Why had she stayed? Didn’t she know this would be a humiliating conversation to be a part of with Dave present and leading the questioning?
However, when she looked up the ringmaster had turned to her, a fond glint twinkling his light blue eyes. “Well, of course not, that would have ruined the show. My Zuma is a brilliant actress.” And then he gave her a wink. “Nice cover-up, Zuma. It almost seemed planned. You incorporated the surprise kiss seamlessly.”
She gulped. Nodded. Tried to keep an unsurprised look on her face.
“Right.” Finley bit on the word watching Zuma, whose passive stance was actually quite commendable to him, if it hadn’t also been infuriating. “And Jack? How was I disrespecting him?” Finley asked.
“Well, my boy, Jack, is obviously very protective of Zuma, as you would be too if you two grew up together. They have a special bond. That was a very disrespectful thing to do to a girl he loves.”
“Wait! What!?” It was Zuma who voiced the question.
Dave looked at her and said, “Zuma, I did ask you to leave. I thought it might be easier if Finley and I discussed the relationships at Vagabond Circus in private, but you made the decision to stay and I respected it. And you must know I’m aware of Jack’s feelings for you.”
“Dave, there’s nothing going—”
Dave stopped Zuma’s speech by holding up a single white-gloved hand. Dr. Raydon was an intelligent man. He knew people were hardwired to mate. He didn’t have any disillusions about this. Most were like Jasmine and stayed at the circus until the urge to have a relationship was too much and then left him. During their time with him he fed them with nutritious food and intoxicating memories. In return, he asked that the staff not have romantic relationships amongst each other during their time at Vagabond Circus. But he saw the way Jack looked after Zuma and knew he had feelings for her. What Jack didn’t realize was that everyone had feelings for Zuma. She captured the attention of anyone whose eyes tripped over her. If Jack realized this then he’d know that Zuma’s true love was the person who did to her what she did to everyone else, steal their focus.
Dave knew this, and knew how it would affect Zuma one day. Not yet, but one day. If what he learned from having a reading with Ian was going to come to pass then Jack would figure out one day soon that Zuma wasn’t his true love. It would be both a disappointment and a relief for him. And if the crew member with the braces could be believed then Jack would figure this out very soon.
Dave also knew that he never had to worry about Jack because he observed rule number one as did Zuma. And both acrobats respected the ringmaster enough not to have a relationship behind his back. And although Finley wasn’t as endeared to Dave yet, he still trusted the boy.
Dave finally turned to Zuma. “Jack does love you,” he said, a consternation on his face. And then he added, “Zuma, most everyone at Vagabond Circus loves you in their own way. Jack may have a bit more of a connection than the rest though,” he said, his face light again. Zuma was glad since she didn’t like that serious expression Dave had worn before. “Anyway, I only mean that Jack loves you dearly, as a friend. And what Finley did made Jack feel you were threatened, so of course he would try to protect you. Although I think he was too aggressive in his approach.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Zuma said, sensing the shield in Dave’s head. She didn’t even bump against it once she knew it was in place. He was trying to keep her out and she wouldn’t fight it.
“Don’t look so heavy, Zuma,” Dave said, reaching out and cupping her shoulder. “I know it’s a platonic love. Jack needs you as a friend. I don’t worry about you two betraying me.”
The ringmaster then turned to Finley. “But honestly, I have to admit that although I know little of you, my instinct tells me you’re good. But do please tell me why you kissed Zuma at the end of the show.”
“Well…” Finley said, his eyes falling on Zuma before he forced himself to rip them away. “It was a sudden decision. I was swept away by the energy of the audience and truthfully I thought that it’s what they wanted. It is a love story and I felt they wanted a tender and touching ending. So I just improvised.”
Dave looked at Finley and then at Zuma, who had a flat expression. If Dr. Raydon was Zuma and could read the tiny expressions in people, he’d know Finley was lying. But Dave was a trusting man. “Fine, fine. First show. I get making such a decision,” Dave said, his cheeks tightening like he was on the verge of smiling. He seemed to always be on the verge of a smile or ending one. “You’ll get used to the audience and realize they don’t get what they want, but rather what we’ve rehearsed.” The ringmaster then stepped forward, leaving Zuma a foot behind him. “People make mistakes. I understand that. But don’t ever consider forcing yourself on Zuma while in my circus. I’m not a man prone to anger but next time I won’t let this go unpunished. Next time you won’t be a member of Vagabond Circus for such mistakes. Is that clear?”
Finley nodded, forcing himself to meet Dave’s eyes.
Dave then clapped Finley on the shoulder, loosening him up with his infectious good nature. “And may I be the first to tell you that you and Zuma just put on the best show I’ve ever seen. You two were unmistakably the stars.” Dave could shift suddenly and Finley had just witnessed his high after a low.
He choked out a forced laugh. “Thank you.”
Dave turned and then offered an arm to Zuma. “My lady, you were more spectacular than I ever dreamed.”
Zuma knew Dave didn’t dream. For some reason unknown to her, he didn’t allow himself to have dreams directed by his unconscious. Still she nodded, accepting the compliment. “It’s all thanks to your support, Dave,” she said.
“Would you accompany me to the festivities?”
She nodded obediently and took his arm. They walked to where the cast and crew were already starting the bonfire, Finley a few feet behind them.
Chapter Forty-Five
Drinking wasn’t against the rules, but it was frowned upon at Vagabond Circus and things that were frowned upon were as good as rules. Still, it would have appeared to an outsider that the employees of Vagabond Circus were drunk based on their infectious laughter and chatty voices. There were no borders in the crowd at that night’s after-party. Everyone was congratulating each other on putting together such a challenging new show in such a short period of time. And a breathtaking one at that. Each person took turns telling one of their favorite parts. And for most the ultimate favorite part was the ending, where the two lovers, torn by circumstances, celebrated their love with a kiss.
Everywhere Zuma turned someone was waiting to talk to her. The guys from the crew lined up, ready to greet her by laying a kiss on the back of her hand. She scanned their thoughts and knew this at once. And then a quick scan of the people’s minds at the party told her she was the center of most people’s thoughts. Well, not Finley’s. As always, she didn’t know what he was thinking, although from the way he kept directing his attention at her, she suspected she was also on his mind.
Even the freak performers had split up for that night’s celebration and were commingling with crew members. Padmal was quietly picking Fanny’s brain about alchemy, a side hobby of the nurse and caregiver. Oliver was having Ian read his fortune, and looked quite grave about the news. And Haady, one of the triplets, was giving Bill, the circus chef, tips of things he’d like added to the menu. Sunshine was sulking alone, but not all things can change at once.
Zuma couldn’t bear the company of her circus family for very long. She’d had enough attention for one night. As the festivities went on she knew the obligation to speak to everyone who wanted her attention would be too much to resist. Passing the line of patiently waiting crew members she gave a quick wave. “I’d love to chat, but I’ve got to pack for our trip to Portland tomorrow,” she said in a rush.
One guy reached out for her hand as she cruised by, but sensing this before he did it, she sped up
and hurried away. She then ran to get as far from the people she loved like a family, and who were also her biggest fans.
Finley followed Zuma out when she left. He had broken away from Dave and Nabhi, saying he owed her a real apology. Dave consented with a nod. Finley was about to turn on his speed to catch up with her when Zuma made an early turn and headed straight in the direction of Jack’s trailer.
Chapter Forty-Six
Finley halted, watching Zuma hurry in the opposite direction. Then he opened his mouth and was powerless to the word that fell out of him. “Zuma,” he said, too loudly.
She stopped and turned to him, her face trying not to look startled. He sped up just a little, so he crossed the thirty yards in only a second. She blinked rapidly at him. “In a hurry?”
“Just to talk to you,” he said and found his fingers reaching out for her. But Finley covered the move by pulling his hands all the way up and stroking them through his hair. The kiss had broken a latch he had locked. It had created a deadly possibility. He needed to reinforce his guard and remember why he was here, which had nothing to do with Zuma. “You headed to see Jack?” Finley said, pointing at the trailer behind her.
“Yeah,” Zuma said, her expression would have been hard to read in the dark, but Finley had excellent night vision.
“I wanted to apologize,” Finley said.
“For kissing me and potentially getting me fired?” Zuma said. With this, Finley noticed her eyes narrow some.
“For some of that,” he said, a rebellious smile on his face. It was easy for Zuma to spy since the light from Jack’s trailer was shining on his face. “But we both know Dave would never fire you.”
She couldn’t argue with this, although she still never wanted to let him down. Of all the people at Vagabond Circus, Zuma could have gotten away with the most. But it was the fact that she knew this and didn’t take advantage of it that continued to endear Dave to her. “You were lying,” she said in a whisper.
Finley pushed his chin to the side. He had considered that her combat sense might make her a human lie detector. Now he wondered if he’d been right. “About what?”
“How many lies are you telling around this place?” she shot back at him.
“How many do you think?” he said.
“I was referring to what you said to Dave, your reasons for kissing me.”
And now it was confirmed. She had such confidence in her voice. Zuma spied his lie and that meant she could spy all the other ones he’d have to tell to remain here. She was indeed dangerous to him in more ways than one.
“So what was your reason for kissing me?” she asked.
He stepped back, out of the light streaming from the trailer, into the dark. “Let’s call it a social experiment.”
Zuma squinted at him through the dark. “Hmmm…I’m not sure I buy that.”
“So you’re headed to see Jack?” he said again, ignoring her statement and pointing at the trailer behind her for a second time. It was the only way he could think to derail the conversation.
“He’ll be upset and need to talk.” She paused and then took a step forward, angling her eyes at his jaw, wondering if it had bruised. “I’m kind of sorry he punched you,” she said.
“As Dave said, he loves you,” Finley said, staring down at Zuma, his tone uniform. “He was protecting you from who he thinks is a monster.”
“I don’t think you’re a monster,” she said.
“You don’t?”
“No, and Jack and I are just friends.”
“As are you and I, right?” he said.
“No,” she said. “We’re partners.”
“Right, like business partners,” Finley said, wanting to agree and then hating the idea.
“Exactly.”
“Fine,” he said, “great show tonight, partner.”
“Same to you,” she said. And there was so much not being said that the unspoken words felt like they would suffocate Zuma.
Finley took a step backward as he gave a half wave. “Tell Jack what you always tell him about me, that I’m a jerk who can’t be helped.”
“I’d planned on it,” she said as he moved farther away. She turned and forced herself in the opposite direction.
“Zuma?” he called back at her.
She stopped. “Yeah?”
For the second time that night he used his super speed to race up right next to her. It made her hold her breath. Finley leaned down low, his breath making a presence on her cheeks. “When I kissed you tonight, I did it for the sole reason that I forgot who I am.” Finley slid back an inch and that was enough to catch the startled look in Zuma’s eyes. This time he’d told the truth.
“What does that mean?” she said, her hands shaking by her sides.
“It means that you won’t have to worry about it happening again. That’s not who I am and that’s not why I’m here,” Finley said and then turned so swiftly that the movement was lost on Zuma’s eyes. He strode like a person moving in fast-forward, away. Away from Zuma and her troubled thoughts.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Zuma’s knock was soft on Jack’s door.
“Come in,” he said in reply.
She was unsurprised to find him with his head in his hands, hunched over with his elbows on his knees. This was often referred to as the “Jack’s frustrated” stance. It was more his trademark than the globe act. She knew at once that he didn’t want to talk, but they didn’t need to speak in order to communicate.
Zuma, why did he kiss you? Jack thought in his mind.
It was just a stunt to add drama to the show, she said to him, sending the message over their telepathic link. It took complete concentration for her to send information this way, but it felt fitting right then.
Jack pulled his head out of his hands. His eyes held a sobering look.
“Do you believe him?” he said out loud.
“Yes,” she lied.
“He is a really strange person, isn’t he?” Jack said, and he didn’t sound angry, but rather perplexed, like Finley was a complex riddle he was trying to figure out.
“A complete mystery to me,” she said.
“You know, the thing is that I actually like the guy.”
“You do?” Zuma said, not having expected this.
“Well, I’m furious at Finley right now, but yeah, I do. There’s something compelling about him, something undefinable,” Jack said, thinking of how Finley had a way about him that should be admired to an extent. “But then I don’t understand his motives and that worries me.”
Jack was a person who wanted to see the best in people. He believed people were inherently good. And in Finley he saw something he didn’t understand, but it made him feel the stranger was trustworthy somehow. He’d felt it since he first caught Finley on the flying trapeze. The guy had trusted Jack, and when he grabbed his wrist Finley looked back at him with relief like his confidence in Jack had been reaffirmed. It was hard for Jack to understand, but the way acrobats feel about each other is often complex. Few occupations rely on another person so completely.
“I don’t really know what to make of him honestly,” Zuma said, and this was the sincere truth. Like Jack, she kind of wanted to like the guy, but he was hiding so much. She’d actually never felt a stronger draw to a person while her instinct told her to be on guard. And even that wasn’t clear, because her instincts told her to pull the guy closer to her and unravel the mystery. How could one person create such confusion in her, when she was a master at reading people? she wondered.
“Well, I think we need to try to put this whole thing behind us as quickly as possible,” Jack said.
Zuma was surprised by this. She figured Jack would sulk, especially since it was the first time he’d ever been in trouble with Dave. “Really, you do?”
“Yeah,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Because I don’t want to think about it and also because it’s what’s best for you.”
“How’s that?” Zuma asked, although sh
e didn’t disagree.
“Zuma, your performance wasn’t just your best one ever, it was the best act I’ve ever seen, period. You were more than stunning. I don’t want anything to detract from your ability to do that over and over again.”
Jack never ceased to surprise her with his affection for her, his unconditional love. “Thank you, Jack,” she said, mesmerized by his thoughtfulness.
They were quiet for a long moment before Jack said, “I’m sorry I punched him.”
“Because Dave saw it?” she said.
“Yes, but also because it didn’t make me feel better. The way Finley looked at me afterwards, it was kind of heartbreaking. That guy can make you feel strong emotions with a single look,” Jack said, suppressing a shiver.
You have no idea, Zuma thought, keeping it to herself. Then she was glad that she hadn’t taken a seat and instead stayed standing in the room. Of all things, she was certain she needed to be alone with her own thoughts for the rest of the night.
“Don’t worry about this any longer,” she said, her hand on the doorknob. “Things will be better tomorrow. We leave this in Seattle and start fresh when we hit the state border.”
Jack brought his eyes to meet hers. “Sounds good,” he said.
Then she was gone, leaving Jack’s trailer hollow from her absence. That was Zuma’s curse; she never left people or places the way she found them. She changed them. And when she was gone, Jack knew something was different about her. Had it been the show, her new role, or the kiss? Something had unlocked a new power in her and she was glowing, way more than usual.
Chapter Forty-Eight
The after-party was still happening when the crew left early. Tonight the big top would have to be disassembled and packed away for transporting. The Vagabond Circus crew would drive to Portland first thing tomorrow morning and set up the tent in a new location. Tonight they’d do the first half of the work in the physical realm, taking down reinforcement beams and deflating the four-mast tent from top to bottom. Then when fatigue set in, the crew would go to sleeper row and dream travel back to the big top area. In the dream travel realm they’d finish up the work and have it all done in half the time than most circuses.