by Sarah Noffke
She turned at the sound of the racing feet. A dark figure moved swiftly across the grounds in her direction. Could it be more heartbreak? Fanny almost considered running into her trailer and locking the door. Locking herself away from the potentially approaching bad news. Then Fanny spotted the unmistakable, almost white hair flying back behind Zuma’s face as she ran. Something glowing was pressed to the girl’s head. She was ten feet away when Fanny heard her speak into what she now realized was a phone. “Yes, we got here safely. And Fanny is right here. I’ll turn the phone over to her now,” the young girl said.
Zuma arrived with a graceful halt in front of the bewildered woman. The girl’s hair hung in strings around her reddened face, and her chest vibrated, not from running, but rather from adrenaline. Before Fanny could praise God for bringing the acrobat back to Vagabond Circus safely she took the cell phone from Zuma’s outstretched hand.
“It’s Dr. Chang,” Zuma said in response to the confused look on Fanny’s face. “He’s Jack’s doctor and he only released him because he knew Jack would be under your care. You have to speak to him and prove that you’re nurse Fanny.”
The woman closed her swollen fingers around the cell phone. “Jack’s doctor?” she said, trying to remember the last news she’d heard about Jack. He’d broken his legs in a fall in Knight’s compound. That’s what Titus had told her. She drew in a long breath and nodded a high chin at Zuma. “Of course.” She slid the cell phone to her ear.
“Nurse Fanny Swedlund speaking,” the woman said at once into the phone.
A man on the other side of the line cleared his throat. “Nurse Fanny, I can hardly believe this could be you. I’m Dr. Chang,” a man said, a subtle Chinese accent to his words.
“Hello, Doctor,” Fanny said, trying to understand why she was talking on the phone with a stranger at this late hour.
“I’ve studied your cases extensively,” Dr. Chang said. “And I released Jack early into your care because I believe his future is best in hands like yours. However, for my peace of mind, I have to know you’re the world renowned nurse I’ve heard of.”
Fanny nodded, although the man on the other side of the phone couldn’t see this response. “If you’ve studied my cases,” she began in a confident tone, “then you know that in over ten years I oversaw the care of six hundred seventy-five cancer patients, two hundred thirty-four injury patients, and eight hundred ninety patients with viral infection. Seventy-five percent of my patients were considered terminal and yet only twelve patients passed away from their conditions.”
Silence on the line. Something bristled against the receiver. Then Dr. Chang said, “Well, there’s no doubt now, only the real Nurse Fanny would know those numbers without hesitation.”
“Exactly,” she said. “Now, you said that Jack’s future rested in my hands. What is his prognosis?” Fanny said, her curious eyes on an anxious Zuma in front of her; then her eyes tightened on someone else approaching in the dark between the trailers in the distance.
“Wait,” Dr. Chang said. “You don’t know? Haven’t you seen Jack yet?”
“He just arrived,” Fanny said, now seeing it was two figures approaching, Titus pushing Jack in a wheelchair.
“Oh, well, you’ll want to check his legs to ensure the travel didn’t open any of the incisions,” Dr. Chang said. “And then you and I should plan to discuss his physical therapy treatment and how you intend to approach his healing. You see, I discharged Jack, but I still feel invested in his care. Turning him over to you was a special case and I’d like you to loop me into his recovery.”
“Of course, Dr. Chang,” Fanny said. “And I appreciate your confidence in me. I know Jack must have been anxious to return to his home.”
“He was. You were a big factor in allowing him early discharge with his condition,” the doctor said.
“And again, you haven’t answered my earlier question. What is Jack’s condition?” Fanny asked.
There was another pause. “He’s paralyzed,” Dr. Chang said just as Jack and Titus made it to a portion of light, illuminating the defeated look on the young man’s face, and the bandages on his legs which stretched out before him.
“Right,” Fanny said, feeling something like a stone fall to the bottom of her stomach.
Chapter Six
“Oh, in heaven’s name,” Fanny said, pushing the phone into Zuma’s hand and hurrying toward Jack. She didn’t completely register the exhaustion dripping off his face before she flung her arms around his shoulders. Fanny’s embrace had the effect on Jack that it had on most: it opened him up. Gave him a silent validation to allow his emotions to spill out of him. He clapped a hand around the older woman’s back and squeezed his eyes shut. Unlike most at Vagabond Circus he hadn’t been raised by Fanny. He had come to the circus at the age of fifteen as a performer. But still he knew why all of her kids would do anything for the caregiver, because she gave herself to them. Loved them with all she had. Such was the capacity of Fanny Swedlund.
When the healer pulled back she dropped into a kneeled position so she was looking at Jack straight on, not down at him.
“What has happened to you, Jack?” she said, her eyes on his, not on his legs.
“I met Charles Knight,” he said dryly.
She nodded, a knowing expression in her eyes marked by lines. “But you lived and most who have trespassed into his territory cannot say that.”
“Was that…?” Jack trailed away, pointing to the phone clutched in Zuma’s hand. He hoped it was Dr. Chang, and not his brother Dr. Fuller. The brother who, like the rest of his brothers, was better than him. The one who, like his parents, disapproved of Jack.
“Yes, that was Dr. Chang,” Fanny said, rising to a standing position, her knee popping as she did. “I’ve assured him that you’re under my care now, and he did relay his prognosis. However, Jack, these things are never set in stone.” She tapped two fingers to the side of her head. “We are only ever a thought away from changing a would-be destiny.”
Titus now moved around from his place behind the wheelchair. “What is this would-be prognosis?”
Fanny waved her hand dismissively at the tall man. “Nothing for you to concern yourself with now. You have other concerns and Jack will be mine.”
“Fanny, please remember that as the creative director for Vagabond Circus I need to be informed. Lord knows I’m already at a serious disadvantage now, I don’t need you keeping things from me,” Titus said in a tone he reserved solely for Fanny. He spoke to her like he was pleading.
She turned sharply to Titus. “Relaying this information to you or anyone else will only make the idea more powerful. Half of my power as a healer is making people forget there was anything wrong in the first place. When a thought has no power it can no longer control a person. And that’s mostly what an ailment is. A thought. So why don’t you forget this for the time being and help me figure out how we’re getting Jack into my trailer,” Fanny said with the authority of an army general.
Chapter Seven
From Fanny’s trailer window Benjamin had the curtain peeled back just enough so he could spy the events going on outside. The healer had thought he was asleep when she left to pace just in front of the trailer. She’d been doing a lot of pacing the last couple of days. It worried the ten-year-old boy. He didn’t like seeing Fanny so stressed. It made his chest vibrate with worry, his palms sweat, his tummy hurt. What would have Fanny so stressed? After Dave’s death she was sad. Everyone was still so sad. They always would be. But then the black trucks pulled up to Vagabond Circus and Fanny’s sadness turned into pure fear. Benjamin knew that look although he’d never seen it on his caregiver’s face. She had shuffled Benjamin, Tiffany, and Emily into the trailer, not allowing the kids to see what was in the black trucks, or who. They looked just like the white semis which held various compartments where the crew members had living quarters in sleeper row. However, these trucks were black and didn’t look like they had cozy compartments.
> Benjamin squinted through the window. Truth be told, Benjamin as a young boy had perfect vision. However, at that moment he wasn’t in his little boy form. Rarely since he came into his dream travel gift was he himself anymore, which had been another reason that Fanny had ordered him in the trailer. She also wouldn’t allow him to tell anyone but the other kids or Titus what his gift was. The caregiver had ordered him to only use his skill when inside her trailer. And then she said, “This is a gift we protect by hiding it.”
Benjamin shook his head now at the strangeness of that thought. He believed that everyone should know he was a shape shifter. He couldn’t wait to announce it to the world of Vagabond Circus. But he trusted Fanny more than anyone he’d ever known and would never betray her order.
Benjamin had trouble seeing up close with his current eyes but as they were able to focus he realized that he could see better in the dark than usual. Where things usually were shades of black and gray at night, now through the window he could see the pink strip in Zuma’s hair. He could see the blue of Fanny’s eyes as they widened when Jack was wheeled forward by Titus. Benjamin could see the details of the group that told him bad news was being relayed. It wasn’t something that he would be able to see with his own eyes. His own eyes would have only seen dark figures congregating. However, these eyes could see in high definition in the dark of night.
Then the boy reflexively straightened when Fanny picked up her long skirt like she always did when she was about to climb the steps into the trailer. Benjamin backed up to the far wall, blinking rapidly. He needed to switch back into his normal form but the sudden nervousness made it impossible to concentrate. His mind was a blur of commotion as he realized the group was about to enter the trailer. He looked to the bedroom at the back, where the younger girls were sleeping. He could race for that space but it was unlikely he’d make it in time. This body didn’t move fast, not like he did when in his ten-year-old body.
The door handle jiggled. Benjamin’s eyes stayed focused on it. Then when Fanny swung it open he realized her eyes and Zuma’s weren’t on him, but rather on the people trying to negotiate their way into the trailer. It was a sight to see. Titus had Jack cradled in his arms, the older man’s face red from the exhausting task. Jack’s face was a grimace of lines too, his bandaged legs held firm in Titus’s arms.
Benjamin watched as orders were given and people moved. He was so entranced by the strange scene in front of him that he forgot his prior concern and fear. And it wasn’t until Zuma turned around and saw him that he remembered what she was seeing. The girl screamed and that’s precisely when Benjamin covered his face with his gloved hands.
Chapter Eight
Zuma clapped her hand over her mouth, muffling the scream that burst out of her without her permission. She backed up suddenly, colliding with Fanny, who was already reaching out and grabbing the girl by the shoulders.
“It’s okay, Zuma,” Fanny said, her voice stern, her fingers pressing into the girl’s skin firmly.
Zuma shook her head widely and coughed on the remaining piece of the scream lodged in her throat. She tried to say something but it was Jack in Titus’s arms who whispered the one word she’d been trying to say. “Dave?” he said in a hush.
“No,” Titus said at once and turned and gently laid the acrobat on the couch. “It’s not Dave.”
Jack flinched from the pain of being moved and handled. Too much was going on at once. He moved the best he could to see around Titus and at the man who stood in the corner. He in fact looked exactly like Dave Raydon, dressed in his teal blue suit, complete with the top hat that had killed him.
“Then who is that?” Zuma said, stepping forward and studying the now cowering figure.
The man didn’t move like Dave. Didn’t have his confidence or smile. Zuma’s combat sense told her this much. She reached out, holding her hand a foot away from the man. Her approach was tentative. The man widened his eyes, which looked so much like the ringmaster’s. Light blue, outlined with a darker navy blue.
“It’s a real person,” Fanny said behind her. “But it isn’t Dave. I’m sorry.” The healer remembered her own disenfranchised state when she saw the figure of the man she thought was dead. Hope and confusion had blanketed her mind then, until she learned who was really inside the body of Dave.
The man lifted his gloved hand, a look of heart-wrenching regret on his face. “I’m not Dave,” he said, using the ringmaster’s voice but without any of its usual merriment. “I’m sorry,” he said and reached forward and clasped his hand around Zuma’s.
She squealed with shock, jumping back a foot into Fanny again, who was watching all of this with pain in her eyes. Titus and Jack watched too. Jack in awe and Titus with a haunted expression laced with bitter disappointment.
“What are you?” Zuma stuttered out.
“Who, you mean,” Fanny said, her voice calm. “I apologize you found out this way,” she said, looking at Zuma and then Jack. “This must be quite the rude shock.” She then turned and looked at the imposter. Fanny stepped forward and placed a hand on not-Dave’s shoulder and looked down at him. “I understand you’re scared,” she said in a voice she reserved for her kids. It was a higher pitch than her normal voice. Not one she ever used with Dr. Raydon. “It’s okay. You’re not in trouble for this. It’s not your fault they found out your secret, and I dare say Zuma and Jack can be trusted with the knowledge. So take a few deep breaths and then you should be able to change back.”
She was right too, Benjamin realized. He had no control over his shape-shifting when frightened. He’d have to learn to control that. It would do him no good. He sucked in a short breath, followed by a couple of deeper ones. When he let them out Zuma thought that the long drive was making her hallucinate. The colors on the teal blue suit swayed and blurred. The hat flickered and disappeared and then all at once in front of her Dave vanished. He seemed to melt into something smaller and only her combat sense explained to her the complex shifting that was happening all at once. Dave’s form had molded until he was in the shape of a little brown-haired and wide-eyed boy.
“Benjamin?” she said, covering her mouth for a second time.
“Hi,” he squeaked, throwing his chin to his chest, his eyes to the ground. That didn’t last long because suddenly arms were around him, the acrobat’s body pressed to his.
“Congrats,” Zuma said, total astonishment in her voice. She pulled back, looking him over. “You came into your gift early?” she said, looking at him and then to Fanny for confirmation when all he did was bite his lip from the nervousness of the girl’s hands still gripping onto his arms.
Fanny nodded proudly. “Yes, and what an incredible gift to be bestowed with so early in life.”
“Indeed,” Titus said, his voice heavy.
Chapter Nine
Sunshine stared at the handful of hair ends pressed between her fingers. From only three inches away her eyes could spy the split ends and breaks in her long black strands. She snapped them or split them depending on the damaged thread. It was a nervous habit she’d broken herself of years ago, but now all her bad habits had surged to the surface, a series of comforts in the midst of her newest tragedy. Titus had assured the people of Vagabond Circus at Dave’s eulogy that things would get easier with time. He was wrong and didn’t know it. When Titus gave that speech he had no idea that the next day a truck carrying a lot more problems was about to unload itself on Vagabond Circus.
Morning sunlight had been greeting the rousing members of Vagabond Circus when the first black truck had appeared. Most people were milling about trying to find a normal activity on another day that felt extremely abnormal without Dave’s presence. Sunshine had been staring at her scrambled eggs with a strange hostility like the pile of protein had made a personal insult at the girl. That’s when she had heard a commotion of crew members’ voices. They were busy prepping the big top for the first show the next day. Sunshine felt the embers of frustration from the rig crew member
s using her empathesis. She was so attuned to the emotions around the circus grounds that she felt new ones pretty acutely, especially a flood of them from a dozen crew members.
Sunshine raced in the direction of the noise and that’s when she spied the first truck parked right in front of the main entrance of the big top, the one where patrons entered. Then a second black semi pulled up, blocking the side entrance, and then two more. They didn’t stop negotiating themselves into place until they formed a wall of sorts around Vagabond Circus grounds. She expected that Ian, who was in charge of rig crew, would be charging toward the driver of the first truck and telling him to move off their grounds, that they were blocking their loading zones. She caught Ian’s stocky figure standing in front of the grille of the first semi, six feet from it. The man shook his curly head, his lip pressed between his teeth which were covered in braces. And although she knew he was furious from reading his emotions, Ian only balled up his fists and turned and marched away. Marched away from the trespassing trucks. The ones blocking him from doing his job. Nothing was more important to Ian than his job. And he had marched away. Sunshine couldn’t make sense of it.
The door to the first semi opened and Sunshine squinted through the morning light to see who had gotten out. Around her most of Vagabond Circus stood, also staring with confused expressions. From the cab of the truck a man who was both too tall and too thin exited. He had to be close to seven feet tall. His pale head was bald and she realized there was something else strange about the man. He had no eyebrows. His snow-white complexion seemed to glow in contrast to his black shirt and pants.