by Clare Revell
Felicity sighed. “It’s OK. We’ll make do. If you change your mind, the offer is still there.” She paused. “Matthew asked after you.”
“Did he?”
“I think he likes you.” Her sister’s voice took on a teasing tone. “How was coffee with him? Where did you go?”
“We stayed here. He wants to see me again, despite the fact I kinda lost it at one point. I got the chair stuck, and he had to rescue me.”
“Oh, that reminds me.” Felicity pulled out her phone. “He asked me to tape something to show you. It went down a storm at the matinee, and he did it again tonight. The audience loved it. The director wasn’t impressed, but agreed to it staying in.”
Eva caught her breath. “He didn’t…” She looked down at the phone, watching the footage of Matthew in full costume.
He stood on the bow of the ship, hook on one hand and sword in the other. “Don’t you argue with me, Smee.”
“I’m not arguing, Captain. I’m merely pointing out that perhaps chasing Peter Pan after a huge lunch isn’t such a good idea. You’ll get indigestion.”
“If I want to chase Peter Pan after lunch, I will chase Peter Pan after lunch, and there isn’t a thing you can do about it, Smee. You know why?”
“Because you’re the Captain, Captain?”
“No, Smee.” Matthew leapt onto the bow spit and held his arms wide. He flung his head back, and yelled, “Because I’m the king of the pirates!”
Eva smiled, and then giggled. “He actually did it. He stole my line.”
“Your line?” Felicity looked at her in amazement. “That was you?”
“Just the way the conversation went this morning after the chair got stuck. I didn’t think he’d actually do it.”
Her sister nudged her. “See. I told you he liked you.”
Eva’s face burned.
“And you like him. This is good. Anyway, he said to remind you about tomorrow.”
“OK.” She nodded. “Mum kept your dinner,” she said, changing the subject. “And I saved mine to eat with you.”
“Then we should go do that. I want to show Mum and Dad that clip. I can’t believe that was your idea.”
Eva followed her sister from the room. Perhaps she should ask someone to get her some of those gloves Matthew was talking about. She glanced at her hand. The fingers were red and they hurt. She shoved the wheels.
He was looking forward to seeing her. And part of her wondered why. But the rest of her, the bigger part of her, couldn’t believe it.
5
The morning dawned grey and wet. Too wet. Eva lay on her side in bed, her back to the window, music blasting through her headphones. She wouldn’t get up at all. Or dress. She’d just stay here and ignore everything and everyone. Especially after yesterday. She’d upset Matthew by saying this was all God’s fault. Upset Felicity by refusing her job offer. Upset Mum by not eating dinner with them. And Dad was upset because Mum was upset.
So, all in all, it’d be best if she just stayed out of the way today. In bed. Not like Matthew would come and see her anyway. Not after yesterday. Felicity had gone to work a while ago, as had her father. Her mother was planning on going out, but hadn’t left yet.
The doorbell rang. Eva ignored it. She tugged the covers tighter around her. She ignored the knock at her door too.
“Eva, you have a visitor.”
“Go away.”
The door opened and closed, and her mother crossed the room. “You need to get up and be sociable. Mr. Lyell doesn’t have much time, and he’s come all this way to see you.”
Eva turned onto her back, biting her lip. “I’m not dressed, and I can’t see him in my pj’s.”
“So get dressed. It won’t take long if I help.” Her mother tugged the covers away.
“I can manage,” she said, knowing it would take far longer if she did it alone.
Her mother shook her head. “I know you can, love, but not this morning. Do you want your jeans or slacks?”
Eva sighed. “I don’t mind. You choose if you’re so bent on dressing me.” Five minutes later, she was up, dressed, and in her chair, being pushed into the hallway. “I can manage from here. I thought you were going Christmas shopping.”
“I am.” Her mother kissed her forehead. “Do you need anything?”
Eva debated asking for the gloves, but shook her head. “No, I’m fine, but thank you. Have fun.” She slowly made her way into the lounge, hoping Matthew would have left. Not that she wanted him to have gone, but she really wasn’t up to company or pity. She’d had enough of the latter to last a lifetime. And of people coming to visit because they felt obligated to.
He glanced up as she came into the room. “Hi, Eva. How are you feeling today?”
Eva was thrown by the genuine warmth in his smile and voice. “I’m fine.”
Matthew frowned behind his dark glasses and scarf. “Eva, did you know the average person tells four lies a day. That’s 1,460 a year and a total of almost 88,000 before they reach sixty. And the most common of those is I’m fine.”
She looked at him, her stomach falling into her feet. “Oh.”
“And I’m not one of those people who expect an ‘I’m fine’ because I can’t cope with the truth of a headache, an upset stomach, or simply a ‘cheesed off because I’m having a rubbish day.’ So, shall we start again? Good morning, Eva. How are you today?”
“Not great,” she said. “I seemed to have upset everyone yesterday, so I wasn’t planning on getting up today. How are you?”
Matthew unwound his scarf and removed his shades. “I’m seriously thinking I should play the Phantom of the Opera rather than Captain Hook.”
Eva gasped. The rash was worse than the previous day. “Didn’t they use the other makeup?” As she asked, she remembered Felicity saying they hadn’t.
“I have no idea,” he said. “I leave that to them.” He frowned. “But have you looked in a mirror this morning?”
“Why would I want to?”
He put his scarf on top of his coat on the sofa and stood. He pushed her chair into the hall and parked her in front of the full-length mirror. “Look.”
She turned her face away.
“Eva…” Matthew hunkered down next to her. He put his fingers under her chin, forcing her head to face the mirror. “What do you see?”
“A girl in a chair,” she muttered.
“Want to know what I see?” he asked. “And I’ll be brutally honest, because I know you’re tired of everyone pitying you and talking over you.”
Eva looked at their reflections, not sure she wanted to know, but she was tired of the egg shells around her. It gave her no incentive to try. “Yeah, I am. Go on.”
“You’re thin, way too thin. You have bags under your eyes from not sleeping, you look gaunt and haggard. Your hair needs styling. Did you blow dry it or is this natural? There is no shame in asking for help with things, you know, or accepting your mum’s help to get dressed. Your voice carried somewhat. I wouldn’t dare speak to Mum like that. She’d have my guts for garters if I did.”
Her face burned, and her stomach twisted. “Enough,” she managed, her voice a strangled moan.
Matthew lowered his voice. “I don’t want to upset you, but you need to take back control of your life, starting with the little things. Just because you’re stuck in the chair, it doesn’t mean you can’t do things for yourself. And it doesn’t give you the right to be horrible to everyone, either. Don’t let yourself go. And don’t say you don’t go out therefore you don’t need to look nice. I’m a bloke, but even I take time to make sure my hair looks...combed. Even if all I then do all day is slouch on the sofa behind a good book.”
She nodded slowly.
“So turn around. I’m going to do something to your hair.”
“You can’t. I mean, you’re a famous actor, and I’m…”
“Someone who needs her hair tamed.” He looked at her. “Inside this famous person is a normal bloke, who ha
s to wash dishes for his mother the same way you do.”
“My hair isn’t long enough for anything, is it?” she asked, trying to ignore the image of him, shirt sleeves rolled, up to his elbows in soapy water filling her mind.
“Sure it is.” Matthew rose and went behind the chair. “Have you got a hair band?”
“Fi keeps some in the middle drawer of the sideboard.”
Eva didn’t argue as Matthew pushed her into the lounge. He was trying to be nice. Her mind went over and over what he’d said, as he gently combed through her short hair. She’d forgotten just how good it felt to have someone else do her hair.
When she opened her eyes, his face was inches from hers.
“You’re smiling.”
She smiled faintly. “If I were a cat I’d be purring about now.”
He grinned. “Don’t give me ideas.”
“I wouldn’t dare. Fi showed me the video clip of the whole Titanic meets Jolly Roger thing.”
Matthew laughed. “That went down so well that Tinkerbelle is planning on a queen of the fairies line this afty, just as a one off, not a regular thing.”
“Would you like some coffee? It’s the least I can do.”
His eyes twinkled. “Coffee sounds wonderful. Let me get your coat.”
Eva’s heart stopped. “My what?”
“Coat. And shoes. Are they in the hall?”
“No, in my room, but I don’t need my coat.”
“Yes, you do. We’re going out for coffee.” Matthew hung his coat, scarf and hat on the back of her chair. Without another word, he pushed her into the hallway. “Which coat is yours?”
“Black one.”
He tossed it to her. “Put it on while I find your shoes.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“No isn’t in my vocabulary. Where are your shoes?”
“In my wardrobe. But my room’s a mess, and I haven’t made my bed…”
“Pfft… It can’t be any worse than my brother’s bedroom when we were kids. Couldn’t even see the floor.” He vanished down the hall.
Eva closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe this was happening. The actor she had a crush on, was bullying her. Was bullying the right word? Strong arming her into doing something she didn’t want to do, but she wasn’t putting up much of a fight. Every part of her shouted no, but her arms slid into her coat, and her fingers fastened the zip.
Matthew knelt at her feet and slid her shoes on. “You know, if you got Velcro ones, you’d be able to fasten them yourself. And don’t tell me there isn’t a point. I’ve seen you in church, so I know you do go out sometimes.” He finished tying the laces. “There. Oh, I got you something.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a paper bag.
“What is it?”
“Open it and find out.” He put on his coat and bent to pick his hat and scarf from the floor.
Eva opened the bag and pulled out the contents. Yellow leather fingerless cycling gloves fell into her lap.
Matthew smiled. “To protect your hands.”
“Thank you.”
“Not that you’ll need them now, because I intend to push you.” He moved to the front door and opened it.
Terror flooded Eva. Her heart pounded and a lump stuck in her throat. “No…”
“Yes,” he said. He put her bag on her lap. “I assume you have a door key.”
She jerked her head in response, her whole body shaking. “It’s raining.”
He tossed her the umbrella from the shoe rack. “So use this.” He tugged his cap over his eyes. “Ready?”
“No…” It came out more of a strangled gasp than the firm answer she wanted.
“Too bad.” He began pushing the chair to the door.
“Matthew, don’t, I can’t…” Tears filled her eyes and panic completely took over. She closed her eyes tightly as fresh air and cold rain assailed her. “No…”
Matthew stopped and put up the umbrella. “I suggest you hold it, or you’ll get wet.” He closed her hand around the handle.
“I don’t want to do this… I can’t do this.”
“No such word as can’t. It’s an excuse not to try.”
She closed her eyes tightly as the chair began moving again. Breathing got increasingly difficult and for a moment she thought she was going to faint. Then she slowly became aware of a paper bag over her mouth and a hand lightly resting on her back.
“Breathe into the bag, Eva.”
Slowly the panic subsided and breathing became easier. She opened her eyes to find Matthew on a bench in front of her.
“Better?”
She nodded slowly.
“Good. Now we’re going to carry on, only you’re keeping your eyes open.”
“I can’t—”
“Yes, you can.” He grabbed both her hands and closed his eyes. “Lord, Eva is really scared right now. She’d rather be anywhere than outside, in the rain, which reminds her so much of what happened the night of the accident. Give her the strength she needs right now to do this, and assure her that she isn’t alone.”
Eva bit her lip as he smiled at her. “I can’t do this…I’m terrified of the rain and outside and…”
“I know how scared you are, because you’re freaking out, and yes, facing your fear like this is scary, but it isn’t going to kill you,” he said gently, squeezing her hands. “Even if it feels like it, it won’t. Because I’m right here, and I’m not going to leave your side.”
“’K,” she whispered.
“So, how about we just give this a try? If it’s too much, we can turn around and go home, I promise. I need that coffee. I don’t know about you, though. Caffeine might just aggravate the panic.”
“S—sounds good.”
He leaned back on the bench, not letting go of her. “Hey, look at that. Very seasonal.”
She followed his other hand and looked at the robin sitting in the holly bush. “Shame it isn’t snowing. That would look even prettier.”
“Not as pretty as you.”
“What are you doing?” she asked. He’d changed the subject so fast she was having trouble keeping up.
“Going for coffee, you know that. With the prettiest girl in town. Who so far has done nothing but complain since I went to get her coat. Not to mention have a panic attack.”
“That’s because I don’t do outside, and I don’t do rain. You know that.”
He smiled, his fingers caressing the back of her hand. “Well, I could be wrong, but right now, it looks like you’re doing both. You have sat calmly and chatted for a good ten minutes now. I’m changing the subject to keep you distracted and it seems to be working.”
“Matthew…”
“It’s Harry,” he said, holding her gaze.
“I thought your name was Matthew.”
He winked. “Actually it’s Harold Matthew Lyell. Matthew is my stage name. My friends call me Harry. And I hope you’re a friend. One that I would like to spend a lot more time with over the coming weeks.”
Eva looked at him, acutely aware of the honor he’d just given her. And for some reason, whether it was his prayer, or just his physical presence and touch, she wasn’t quite so scared anymore. “Harry,” she said. “And I’d like to spend time with you, as well.”
He smiled, and raised her hand to his lips, his light touch soft against her cold skin. Ripples ran down her fingers, up her arm and filled her with warmth. “So, are we going for coffee or just going to sit here and get wet?”
“I have an umbrella,” she said. “But I’d like coffee.”
He kissed her fingers, sending her stomach somersaulting with emotions she really didn’t understand. “Then let’s go. I fancy one of those Christmas coffees I’ve heard about on the radio.”
“The gingerbread latte is good. As is the black forest hot chocolate.”
Harry stood. “Then I’ll have one of each. You get something with not quite so much caffeine in. Maybe decaffeinated coffee.”
“What’
s the point in that?” Eva smiled. “And having two drinks to yourself is cheating.”
“Not if I’m paying,” he laughed. “Oh, and I’m turning the tree lights on in the precinct tomorrow, along with Miss Battle. I was hoping you’d come with me? It’s between shows.”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask,” he replied, as he began pushing her again. “So if you don’t like the rain, what weather do you prefer?”
This time, Eva kept her eyes open, concentrating on the sound of his voice and not the sound of the rain.
6
Eva was up, bathed, and dressed the following morning without help, and appeared for breakfast. It was far easier than she’d imagined it would be. The hardest part had been going from bath to floor to chair, but the handles her father had installed in the downstairs bathroom had helped her manage alone. Yes, she’d been terrified, but the panic attack she’d half been expecting hadn’t materialized. Perhaps because she was doing this herself and had been able to control the level of water in the bath and length of time she’d been in it.
She even allowed herself a small smile at the victory. She’d never need help in the bathroom again. And the grins on her family’s face when she told them, made her want to grin as well.
Her mother looked at her. “To what do we owe this honor?” she teased. “I haven’t had to come in and drag you out of bed yet.”
“I have plans,” she said quietly. The look between her parents and Felicity didn’t go unmissed. “What?”
“Nothing,” Felicity said quickly. “Just nice to see you up and almost happy. Whatever did Matthew say to you yesterday?”
Her cheeks burned. “What makes you think he said anything?”
“Just wondered. He said he’d seen you and you’d gone for coffee, that’s all. Gone out for coffee, in the rain, I might add.”
“I had an umbrella.” Eva tried to appear nonchalant. “Do you and he talk about me often?”
Felicity laughed. “Yeah, he’s always asking about you.” She nodded at Eva’s hands. “What are those?”