Vampires Drink Tomato Juice

by K. M. Shea

  “Nice,” I admired.

  “Gather up in a cross A type formation,” lion guy said, shifting me in his arms. “We need to make sure the Princess is properly guarded.”

  “We really shouldn’t be bringing her in here,” leopard girl frowned as she and the other two males arranged themselves around lion guy and me, forming a wall.

  My mouth dropped as a white wolf loped past us. “FREY?” I shouted.

  The wolf froze before swinging around, turning into a silver-haired boy as he stood. Yes, indeed, it was Frey.

  “FREY!” I shouted, squirming in lion guy’s arms.

  “Morgan! You’re alright!” he grinned. His eyes bugged out of his skull when he noticed my entourage. “The Shadows are here for you?” he said before getting distracted with a goblin.

  As Frey knocked the goblin down, my eyes swept past him. On the far side of the room, I could see more of my friends and students. Esmeralda was there, holding a goblin in a headlock. The Sphinx was there as well, standing on top of a fallen goblin as she spoke to Esmeralda and a tiny little fox that had absolutely gigantic ears.

  There was a small, spindly looking canine that looked like a coyote pretending to be a wolf—that had to be Frank. Even though he looked nervous and had his tail clamped between his legs, Frank leaped at a Goblin, knocking him to the ground.

  I could see the drab fairies and their elf friend. They appeared to be doing some sort of magic that was rendering the goblins’ powers of persuasion useless.

  Perseus and his pony pals were there, swinging and kicking at any goblin that came near them. Westfall was with them, sending goblins flying as he bashed into them. (I had a hard time believing sweet Westfall could be so violent!)

  I hardly noticed as my shape-shifting guards waded through the onslaught, heading towards my friends.

  “Sunglasses, boys,” leopard girl reminded her comrades before flicking a pair of shades over her eyes. The men followed her example (lion guy had to shuffle me around to find his), and I noticed that the rims of their glasses glowed briefly after they slipped them on.

  A group of four goblins hurried towards us, their suits still neatly pressed although they had ditched their sunglasses. Their eyes were brilliant shades of colors that were wrong for human eyes: venom green, electric orange, and blood red.

  “Great job retrieving the girl,” the goblin in front said, his eyes starting to glow. “You should pass her off to us. We’ll take her to safety,” he tempted. Clearly, this was goblin persuasion at work.

  I tightened my grip on lion guy’s neck.

  The guy who was once a mountain lion actually chuckled. “Of course…NOT!” he shouted, flipping a handgun from a holster before shooting two of the goblins with the pepper spray paintballs.

  Leopard girl nailed the remaining two.

  Bat boy swore. “They have Viper cornered, and he’s lost his sunglasses,” he said, motioning to the far side of the room where I could see a man in fatigues slumped over, his eyes going glassy.

  “DON’T break formation,” leopard girl snarled.

  “But—,” bat boy protested.

  “Protecting the girl is our first order of business,” lion man rumbled.

  I frowned as I watched one of the goblins reach for the mentally captive soldier. “FREY!” I shouted. “FREY!”

  “Yeah, what do you want?” Frey snarled, abruptly appearing by my rescuers.

  “Help that guy,” I said, pointing to the soldier.

  Frey rolled his eyes. “Of course you would make demands and shout orders while being rescued. I don’t know why I thought you would be any different than normal.”

  “Frey!”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m on it. HEY, FRANK! COME ON!” Frey said before dropping to his wolf body and uttering an eerie howl.

  Frank appeared at his side, and together the duo snuck through the crowd, their hackles raised before they jumped together in perfect synchronization, tackling the soldiers surrounding my rescuer’s comrade.

  I struggled in lion man’s arms until I was propped up a little higher, better able to observe the struggle splayed out before me.

  I blinked hard when I noticed a girl with white blond hair wearing a track suit. “…Madeline?”

  The vampire dispatched a goblin with astounding speed. Her method, however, was quite interesting. Rather than bodily fight anyone—because even I knew the petite, breakable Madeline wouldn’t stand a chance that way—she approached a target, tugged on their shirt sleeve to get their attention, and when they turned to face her, she would smash them in the face with a frying pan.

  I wasn’t quite sure where she got the pan from, but I didn’t think I wanted to know.

  When she heard me call her name, she spun around. She looked pretty funny because she had one of those swimmer nose plugs rammed up her nose, and a white, gauze headband was tied around her forehead.

  “Morgan! You’re okay!” she chirped, stepping over her fallen foe.

  “Madeline, what are you doing here?” I said, absolutely aghast.

  “Saving you,” Madeline said.

  “But the blood!” I said, shaking my hand.

  True, the bullets were more like paint pellets, but goblins, shifters, and my friends alike were all bleeding. No one was dripping with gory wounds or anything, but for Madeline, a paper cut was enough to send her into a swoon.

  “Oh, that’s why I have these,” Madeline said, motioning to her nose plugs and gauzy headband.

  “What could those possibly do?” I asked.

  “They block it from sight—ah, see,” Madeline said, turning slightly green when a goblin with a cat scratch stumbled past her before being cracked unconscious with a head butt from Dave of all people.

  In response to the sight of blood, Madeline yanked the gauze over her eyes. “See? I can’t see it or smell it.”

  “Yeah, but now you can’t see at all,” I pointed out.

  “That’s not true. I can sort of see through this. Hey guys!” she said, turning around to shout to our friends. “Morgan is fine! The Shadows got her—WHOOP!” she yelped, tripping over a fallen goblin.

  “Oh, sure, you can totally see,” I agreed.

  “Hey, Morgan!” Esmeralda called as she and the Sphinx double-teamed a goblin. “So, they did get you, awesome!” she said as the large-eared fox she and the sphinx had been speaking with transformed into a surprisingly tall and buff woman.

  “These magical beings are friends of the Princess,” the buff woman said, speaking to leopard girl and lion man. “I believe the perimeter is secured.”

  “Cool,” Esmeralda said. “So, like, shouldn’t we be leaving? I mean, we have Morgan,” the bronze beauty pointed out.

  Leopard girl gave a decisive nod and dug out her walkie talkie. “Shadows, we’re pulling out. Disengage in combat and prepare to leave,” she said before frowning at Esmeralda, the sphinx, and Madeline as the blonde popped back up on her feet after pushing the blindfold out of her eyes. “How will you notify your companions that we are leaving the premises?”

  “The old fashioned way,” Madeline said before turning on her heels and shouting at the top of her lungs, “HEY GUYS! WE’RE LEAVING!” she said as Frank and Frey took down a pair of goblins.

  Leopard girl did not groan, but her face went completely blank. (Madeline has that effect on most people.)

  “It’s about time!” Perseus and his pony pals complained, galloping past. “Let’s go!”

  “Shadows, this is Gold Leader. We’re pulling out,” leopard girl said into her walkie talkie before she jogged through the room. (The number of standing goblins had greatly dwindled, so there were only a handful or so left. They were that good.)

  As everyone started piling out through the gaping holes in the walls—which made the place resemble a block of Swiss cheese—I peered over lion guy’s massive shoulder.

  What I saw behind me made me tighten my grip on the soldier.

  It was Hunter. He was standing at the b
ack entrance of the room, his hands tucked behind his back as he listened to some of his men speak. When he caught my gaze he smiled and tilted his head.

  I’m allowing you to leave.

  He clearly communicated that to me with the quirk of his lips.

  I swallowed and thankfully noted that some of the shape-shifting soldiers had noticed the goblin leader as well.

  “He’s letting us go,” leopard girl snarled, backing out of the room with several other soldiers.

  “That may be, but we’ve got Miss Fae. It doesn’t matter how or why,” lion man pointed out.

  “I don’t like that kid,” leopard girl growled.

  “Hackles down, buddy. Let’s deliver Princess to the client,” mountain lion guy said.

  We poured into the street like a massive costume party.

  Sure enough, as Hunter had said, we were in Chicago. I could see the Sears Tower (Well, really the Willis Tower now) on the horizon. We started weaving through the city streets. My friends were intermingling with the soldiers, calling out to me in various degrees of relief.

  “Morgan, girl, you are such a riot! I love hanging out with you!” Esmeralda laughed.

  “I don’t believe this qualifies as ‘hanging out,’” the sphinx elegantly said before smiling at me. “I am glad you are unharmed, teacher.”

  “We totally hacked into your cell phone to find you!” Perseus said, he and his friends pranced along in front of us. “It was so easy,” he boasted.

  “Best fieldtrip EVER!” Hercules laughed.

  “I don’t believe this qualifies as a fieldtrip either,” the sphinx corrected.

  Madeline flounced along next to lion man, intent on filling me in, “We were so worried about you, Morgan! I mean, when I went back to get you, I couldn’t find you anywhere, and Corona said you hadn’t come back for your backpack. Frey said you were probably crabby and just went home, but I didn’t believe him one bit! And then Administrator Moonspell got the call from the goblins, and Asahi heard you were with Aysel, so he told Frey, and Frey told me, and I told Esmeralda who told everyone else! We knew that mean, old administrator wasn’t going to worry about you; Asahi told us as much. So, we decided to organize a rescue party for you! It took us a whole day to get organized and prepared. Frey said it was a mad idea, but I think it turned out rather well,” she said, chattering away like a happy bird.

  “So, who are you guys?” I asked my soldier rescuers when Madeline paused for a breath.

  They hesitated a moment before lion guy spoke. “We’re called the Shadow Shifters. We’re a high specialized mercenary team. All of our members are shape shifters and are extensively trained in rescue and sting operations.”

  “They’re like the marines for magical beings,” Esmeralda said. “Only they can be hired out. Sweet, right? You got saved by heroic mercenaries!”

  Mountain lion guy laughed. “I think this is going to be one of my favorite missions.”

  “Keep your head screwed on; we haven’t delivered Princess yet,” leopard girl snapped as we turned a corner.

  “Morgan, I am glad you are okay,” flea-less Frank shyly said before being jostled aside by Frey.

  “This is, of course, if we ignore the fact that you were stupid and went and got yourself kidnapped in the first place!” Frey said

  I ignored the pushy wolf and kept sifting through the crowd, looking for my friends.

  I didn’t see Asahi, but because he was the MBRC Administrator’s son, I can’t say I was surprised. I mean, it would be foolhardy for him to wander into the very complex where his brother was being kept.

  Wait.

  Brother.

  “OH, MY GOSH! WE FORGOT AYSEL!” I shouted.

  “No, we didn’t,” Frey snorted. “That guy can totally take care of himself.”

  “Rescuing Aysel Moonspell was not part of our contract,” the buff lady agreed.

  “I bet he’ll be at the MBRC before us,” Esmeralda agreed. “The goblins have to be eager to get rid of him.”

  “Yep!” Madeline nodded.

  I felt unconvinced and struggled to try and pry myself out of lion man’s grasp. “Okay, we’ve left the building pretty far behind. I can walk now,” I said.

  “It isn’t safe. They may yet pursue us, and we need to be able to send you away quickly,” leopard girl said.

  “Yeah. I doubt you can run as fast as me,” lion man grinned.

  I scrunched my face up, about to argue, when Westfall appeared next to my shifter guards.

  “Perhaps it would be best if Morgan were to ride me,” Westfall offered.

  “Aw, thanks Westfall!” I said, reaching out to hug the unicorn’s head. A stubby knob of his re-growing horn pricked me, but I didn’t care. Riding a unicorn still violated many of my childhood beliefs, but being held bridal-style by a guy I didn’t know was getting just plain weird.

  “The unicorn would be able to flee faster than any of us here,” the buff lady considered.

  Lion man swapped glances with leopard girl, who nodded. “Alright, then,” lion man said, stopping to set me down on the ground.

  Madeline took advantage of my moment of freedom to tackle-hug me. Esmeralda joined her, pulling Frank and Frey into the hug as well.

  Soon, I was surrounded by a mass of bodies, and I laughed, unable to identify them all. It was touching, the fact that my magical friends were willing to go through such lengths for me.

  “Okay, okay, we need to keep moving,” Lion guy said before tossing me onto Westfall’s back.

  “Whoa!” I squeaked, clamping my legs around the unicorn’s belly before throwing my arms around his neck. “There’s no saddle this time,” I said, getting Westfall’s brown fur all over my clothes.

  “Don’t worry, Morgan. I’ll be careful. You won’t fall,” Westfall promised.

  “Okay,” I shakily said, releasing the death grip I had on his neck. I forced myself to sit up straight but kept my hands buried in his mane.

  Westfall’s walk was a comfortable, rocking motion, but it still took a while for me to grow relaxed enough that I was able to look up, which was when I noticed we were leaving the goblin district and entering a more heavily populated area. What does this mean?

  People.

  Lots of people. And the Shadow Shifters dressed in their fatigues were the least of my worries. After all, we had centaurs and a sphinx in our ranks! This spelled disaster.

  People were staring at us, whispering as they gawked.

  Leopard girl gave the mountain lion guy a meaningful look, and he nodded before threading his arms behind his head. “Man, I love filming battle scenes! Especially when we get props! But clean up is such a pain in the butt!”

  “Yeah, not to mention actresses can be such divas,” bat boy grouched.

  “I just hope we can finally get that shot the director wants with this next take,” Frey said. “I think wardrobe is going to have a heart attack when they see our clothes. We only have two clean sets left!”

  I was about to hiss at them and tell them how ridiculous they sounded, trying to pass off a mangled bunch of soldiers and creatures as actors, but I paused when I heard some of our gawkers speak.

  “Oh, it’s a movie!”

  “Yeah, that makes sense. Don’t you see the shotty craftsmanship of those centaurs? You can so totally tell their horse body is mechanic.”

  “I heard they were going to be filming a movie downtown. Didn’t you?”

  “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

  “Those fantasy movies, I never much liked them. They always look so gaudy and fictitious.”

  “Is that girl on the horse the main heroine?”

  “Could be. They must be a pretty low budget film if she is.”

  I felt deeply offended but also shocked beyond all belief. The movie thing actually worked.

  “Told you,” Frey laughed under his breath as more onlookers scoffed.

  “I bet it’s going to go straight to DVD.”

  No one let me get off Westfa
ll until we were inside the MBRC. More specifically, the shifters wouldn’t let me slide off the sweet unicorn until we entered the main chamber, which was unusually abandoned.

  Everyone from the help desk was there with Asahi, who was standing by a bunch of people in stuffy looking clothes. But, most importantly, my cyclopes friends were there.

  “Morgan L. Fae, sir,” lion man said, carefully steering me forward.

  “Nick, Sandy!” I shouted, making a beeline for my one-eyed friends. I threw myself on Sandy, who caught me and stumbled back into Nick to keep her balance.

  I hugged them both, squeezing my eyes as tight as I could to keep the tears from leaking out of my eyes.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “For what?” Sandy asked, sounding amused as she patted my back.

  “For sending someone to get me,” I said.

  “It was the least we could do, Morgan,” Nick said, sounding shamed. “We cyclopes talked it over and considered going to get you ourselves, but while we are excellent businessmen, we are not very athletically talented. We decided it was best to hire someone to go in our place.”

  “I’m sorry we weren’t strong enough,” Sandy gently said.

  “No! You were! It just—I, thank you,” I stammered, searching for the right words. “It means a lot to me, to know that you care enough. I felt so helpless,” I confessed.

  Sandy smiled. “You’re safe now. I’m glad we could bring you home.”

  I grinned back at her and took a step back before moving to exchange greetings with Ralph and the other cyclopes that were present. That was when I noticed the two briefcases.

  “What are those?”

  “Oh, yes, that’s right. Shadow Shifters, your payment,” Nick said, snapping his fingers before gathering up the briefcases and carrying them to the mercenaries. “The agreed payment was $210,000, wasn’t it?”

  My mouth gaped open. “WHAT?” I squeaked.

  “Yes, amazing isn’t it? They gave us a great discount since the Chicago goblins are not the violent type,” Sandy smiled.

  I gaped at the group with a dropped jaw.

  “Welcome home, dear,” Ralph said, patting my hand.

  “Morgan! Morgan,” Corona called, walking across the empty chamber in her serpentine gait. “I’m so glad you’re back! Everyone was so worried! I sent your backpack home with Frey. He took it to your house. Oh, Morgan!” Corona said before reaching out to hug me.