“It doesn’t feel like one.”
“You don’t like Jade’s body?”
“The fuck I don’t.”
“Have you made any comments to her about it?”
“Of course. I want her to know how sexy she is, and how hot she makes me.”
“But because of your past, she can’t tell you the same thing?”
Shit. Of course I just got all self-righteous and never thought about what I say to her. I talked about her rack today and said other things that I never thought twice about. And she didn’t accuse me of being a perverted bastard.
“I screwed up.”
“Yeah you did. I mean, I get it. With your past, it’s got to be hard. But she’s a keeper, Nate. That’s why you tried to run from her.”
“She’s going to run from me when she learns about everything.”
“You don’t know that.” I look at him hard. “Okay, yeah, she’s going to be hurt and pissed. Which is why you should probably tell her before she finds out from someone else. Like her dad.”
“He won’t tell her unless he has no choice, or I hurt her. He told me that.”
“There’s got to be someone else out there who knows.”
“Maybe. Most of the people involved are dead.”
“You’re willing to take the chance that no one’s going to tell her.”
“I’m not ready to lose her yet. I need some time with her.”
“And that’s why you’re out here drinking instead of inside, making love to her.”
“Bastard. I hate it when you’re right.”
“I usually am.”
“That’s why you’re a bastard. Go make love to your own woman.”
“Oh, I plan to. I just had to sort you out first.”
“Consider me sorted. Thanks man.”
“I have a feeling I’ll be needing your help one day soon, so don’t thank me, just save mewhen I need it.”
“You know it.”
We bump fists, and then I stand up as he practically runs back to Ellie. I walk a little more slowly back into the main house. My girl isn’t going to be welcoming me with open arms and kisses. In fact, I’ll be lucky to not catch a bullet.
I stand outside her bedroom door for too long. I need to knock, but I know I don’t deserve to be let in. She’s right—I am a coward, in more ways than one. I lean my forehead against the door and almost fall over when it opens suddenly.
“Are you planning on just staying out here all night?”
“Maybe.”
She scrunches up her nose. “How drunk are you?”
“Not enough to stop me from realizing that I was wrong.”
“I love all of you, Nate. Not just your body. I can’t pretend that I don’t love that, too, but I’ll try and dial back my comments.”
“Don’t.”
“But if I make you uncomfortable…”
“You don’t make me uncomfortable. I make me uncomfortable. I have some fucked-up issues from my past, which has been stopping me from truly appreciating how lucky I am to have you. If I still have you, I mean?”
“We need to talk, Nate. I don’t want to walk around on eggshells all the time, worried that I’ll set you off because I think you’re sexy.”
“I want to tell you, Jade. Well, actually that’s a lie. I’d never tell you if that was an option. I know it’s not. I-I just need some more time. Please.”
She takes my hands in hers, and gives me a small smile. “I can do that. I can give you time. Just promise me that if I say something that hurts you again, you’ll talk to me instead of flipping out and pushing me away. Or saying something mean.”
I pull her to me and hold her tight. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I wasn’t objectifying you, you know? I just think my boyfriend is hot. Reina said I should make sure you know you’re more than a body to me.”
“Reina?” I ask, pulling back and trying to ignore the dread I feel all the way to my toes. “What did she tell you?”
“Just that people have always wanted you for your body. I tried to get her to explain, but she said you need to be the one to tell me your secrets.”
“I will tell you. I promise. Just not yet.”
“I believe you, and I already said I could wait.”
“Do I still have to sleep in the guest room?”
“You’re welcome to sleep in here. But that’s all it’s going to be tonight.”
“That’s enough for me.”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “Really?”
“What? I’m not a completely sex-crazed pervert. I can sleep with a woman without having sex.”
“Uh-huh. And how many times have you done that in the past?”
“None,” I tell her with a grin. “The few times I actually slept over with a woman was after we had some fun.”
“But you’ll do it with me?”
“I’d do anything with you.”
“Anything?”
“Shit. I’m going to regret that, aren’t I?”
“Maybe. But in the meantime, I really am tired.”
“Then we should get you all tucked in, and…” I can’t finish that sentence as I sway a little on my feet while trying to walk into the room.
“Looks like I’ll be the one doing the tucking. Just lean on me, tough guy.”
She guides me over to the bed and takes my shoes and socks off. She starts to undo the buttons on my shirt when I flop over, unable to hold myself up any longer. The last thing I remember before passing out is Jade rolling me over onto my side as she laughs. And the last thing I think is that I’m the biggest bastard on the planet, but I really do love her.
Chapter 7
Jade
I’m working at the kitchen island again when Nate walks in. He looks deliciously rumpled, but not hung over. Of course he isn’t. He’s a big, bad tough guy. Who passed out with his clothes on last night. I can’t keep the smile off my face.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Yes.”
“I look that bad?”
“Not at all. You look…”
“No censor.”
“Positively scrumptious.”
“Why thank you. You’re looking mighty edible this morning as well. Back to business for the moment, though. If I don’t look bad, why were you laughing at me?”
“I was thinking about how you passed out before I could get your clothes off last night. Big, bad military guy indeed.”
“That’s just plain mean of you to remind me…but, you can take my clothes off now if you want,” he says as he walks over to me, leaning over with his forearms on the counter.
“Hi,” I say, because having him so close while he’s being adorable and sexy is rendering me a little stupid.
His mouth quirks into a knowing smile. “Don’t feel bad, Angel. My combination of brains and hot bod has made many a woman speechless.”
“Jackass.”
“Sexy jackass though, right?”
I turn away from him, but we both know I’m just pretending to be offended that he caught on to me. And I’m really glad that he’s joking with me about his body. Even though he said he’s okay with me telling him how hot I find it, I don’t want to do anything that will make him run from me again. It is fun to mess with him, though.
“Meh.”
He lifts me on the island before I can protest—which honestly, I wouldn’t have—and steps in between my legs. My face is in his big hands, and I automatically reach for his biceps as he slants his mouth over mine. This kiss isn’t sweet and it isn’t demanding. It’s somewhere in between, destined to drive me insane as I taste the mint of his toothpaste. I let out a sound of protest when his mouth leaves mine a few minutes later. He’s smiling at me like the cat who caught the canary.
“You were saying something about ‘meh’?”
“That was pretty good.”
“What…you…you’re evil,” he sputters as his eyes go wide.
“Backing down
from a challenge, Soldier? You don’t want to try again?”
A knowing look takes over his eyes then. “Not this time. A soldier knows when a battle’s unable to be won, and he should just retreat.”
It’s my turn to sputter as he walks over to the refrigerator and opens the door. “You…you get your mouth back over here, Nate Anderson.”
“Huh? Oh sorry,” he says, biting into a baby carrot as he turns back to me, “my mouth is kind of busy right now.”
“Nate,” I say biting my bottom lip as I bat my eyes at him. Yes, I’m batting my eyes, and I am so not that girl. But desperate times call for desperate measures. “My lips feel so lonely, and unwanted.”
“Fuck, woman. You’re going to be my undoing, but at least I’ll go down happy.”
“I’m always happy when you go down,”
I twirl a lock of hair around my finger, and bite my bottom lip again. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. That’s my motto, for the moment at least. And it works. Nate swallows the last of his carrot and stalks towards me.
“That makes two of us,” he tells me as he pushes my legs open, and reaches under the long shirt I’m wearing for my panties.
“Hey party people,” Aiden yells as he walks into the kitchen with Ellie.
Nate pulls his hands out from under my shirt and turns to him with a glare on his face. Ellie mouths an apology to me, while her man just smirks. I have to hold onto Nate as he starts to lunge for him.
“You ever heard of knocking? Or just staying the fuck away unless you’re invited in?”
“We’re guests. Isn’t ‘tu casa mi casa’ and all that?”
“No. No it’s not. You have your own little house out back. Stay there unless you’re invited over.”
“Emily Post is probably rolling over in her grave right now.”
“Listen you cock-blocking son of a bitch, I don’t know this Post chick, but I do know that the next time you barge in here while I’m with my woman, I’m going to shoot your sorry ass.”
“You don’t know who Emily Post is? Neanderthal.”
“You want to go there, Aiden? Comparing our backgrounds?”
“Fine. We’ll knock next time.”
“I thought so.”
“Now that all the He-Man shit is finished, can we get down to business?” Ellie asks.
“Yes, please. I want to get everything worked out as soon as possible. I still need to talk to my dad, but if we can get a good manager, I’m pretty sure he’ll let me take him to Vegas for his medical care. If I know he’s taken care of, and safe, I can get back to my life—our life.”
“Your dad’s safe, J. No one would touch him.”
“I’d like to believe that, Nate, but you’ve seen how desperate some of these kids are. They’re just seeing dollar signs, and that makes them dangerous. I don’t want my dad put in the crosshairs of someone who’s too desperate to have a conscience. Again.”
“What do you mean again?” Ellie asks, coming over to stand in front of me.
“Something happened when I was little. I don’t know all the details. We can talk about it some other time, though. We really need to focus on now.”
“Yeah, let’s get to work. Aiden and I will start calling some of the guys I looked up,” Nate says.
“Okay. We’ll go and talk to my dad.”
“No. You’re not going out without me.”
Here we go. “Ellie and I are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves.”
“I’ve had to diffuse three situations already.”
“I took care of myself at the deli.”
“Fine, then two. Which is two more times than I’m comfortable with.”
“I got her, Nate. No one’s touching either of us.”
He looks like he wants to argue, but comes to his senses and nods. “Fine. But call me once you get safely inside, please.”
“That, I can do.” I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him lightly on the mouth. “Thank you for worrying about me.”
“Always, Angel. Always.”
We kiss again, but I break away after less than a minute. I know Aiden’s liable to say something, and neither one of them will be much help if they beat the crap out of each other. I grab Ellie and pull her upstairs with me while I get dressed, and then we head out.
* * *
Nate
“Glad to see you made up with Jade.”
“Fuck you.”
“Aww, did someone not get any before I came over?”
“What part of ‘cock-blocking son of a bitch’ wasn’t clear?”
“Oh yeah. Sorry. My minds just a little fuzzy from the mind blowing sex I had this morning.”
“I hate you right now.”
He lets out a sharp laugh. “I know. But you gotta remember that it was me out by the pool last night, imparting all of my wisdom, and making you apologize to Jade.”
“I remember.”
“Now that this is all settled, show me who you’re thinking of for the gym.”
I pull up the short list on my computer and turn it to face him. He clicks on all the links and moves his head back and forth a little. I know what he’s thinking because I feel the same way.
“None of them are right, huh?”
“No. I can’t put my finger on it, but they’re just not…perfect. I feel like whoever we get has to be perfect, or Hunt won’t go for it.”
“Yep. That’s what I think, too.”
Before we can discuss another course of action, my phone starts ringing. I look down, and am surprised to see that it’s Scott Griffin.
“Hey, Scott. What’s up?”
“I heard you’re looking for a gym manager. I have a friend who might be a good fit.”
“Yeah? Let me put you on speaker. Aiden’s here with me.”
“Cool. Hey, Aid.”
“Hey man. What’s up?”
“Reina told me you guys are trying to find a manager for the gym Jade’s dad owns. My college roommate is the one who made me workout every day, and I know he’s in between jobs right now.”
“He’s a good guy?” I ask.
“Oh yeah. The best.”
“What’s his name?”
“Brent Sutter.”
“Seriously? He’s pretty big time. The gyms he opened in Chicago are legendary.”
“Yeah. He told me recently that he’s been wanting to go back to his roots, you know, work in a smaller gym.”
“This is perfect. Can you get us in touch with him?”
“I’ll send a text introducing you, and you can take it from there.”
“Thanks.”
“Anything for the girls. And you guys, too, of course.”
“Of course.”
As soon as we hang up, his text comes through. As I’m typing a response, one comes through from Brent saying that he’s in town, and can meet today. I don’t want to invite him here, because as much as I trust Scott, I don’t know this guy at all. We agree to meet at his hotel in a half hour.
“He seems on the up and up, at least on the surface,” Aiden says as I grab the keys to my rental car.
“You ran him already?”
He smirks at me. “Just a preliminary—bank records, criminal past, emails. You know, the easy stuff.”
Easy for people like him, Ainsley, and Scott. I’m smart, but I learned it all on the streets and in the military. I didn’t even finish high school, much less get a college education. If it hadn’t been for my guardian angel, I wouldn’t have gotten into the military without that high school diploma. I’d be dead—and probably from my own hand.
“Don’t, Nate. Don’t go there, because no one gives a fuck if you have a college degree or know how to hack into a computer system. It’s just a skill, and you have plenty of those. There’s no one I’d rather have at my back in a dangerous situation.”
“The body again.”
“And the instincts, loyalty, and just pure badass vibe. You and Matt are the best friends a guy coul
d have. I don’t know how I’d have some survived some of the shit we went through in the sand if it wasn’t for you guys.”
“You’d have been okay. You’re a weasely little bastard, despite your upbringing.”
“I think that was a compliment.”
“You know it was.”
“Now’s not the time to speak about Matt, but you know we’re gonna have to. He gave up Reina all those years ago because of what happened. Which was a bullshit excuse, and we can’t let him fuck up this second chance he has with her.”
“It wasn’t bullshit. He’s not cut like you—or even me. What happened messed him up. We should be making sure Reina knows he won’t stay with her, not pretending he will. Because I for one, am pretty sure he’s going to bolt when that one year hits.”
“She’ll be destroyed. It doesn’t matter how strong she comes across to the world, losing Matt again will cut her to the quick. And then, everyone will suffer—including Ellie and Jade.”
“He’s told her it’s going to end.”
“No. He’s said the words, but you and I both know he’s holding out hope that she can change his mind. And that comes across to everyone, including his wife.”
“Just like it came across to our women that we wanted them, even when we were being assholes.”
“We’ll always be assholes. It’s in our nature. We just have to remember to not be assholes to them now that we’ve stopped fighting our feelings.”
“It’s nice, huh? Knowing you can stop pretending you’re not in love with the awesome chick who wants you back.”
“Yeah. It really is. I can’t do it day to day, though. I’d have to tell her everything—my past, my present, all the shit.”
“You’re going to have to eventually.”
“Just like you have to tell Jade.”
“I know.”
I also know that my revelations are going to end my relationship with Jade. Ellie will more than likely accept everything Aiden tells her, and try to help him with his demons. Jade will probably try and kill me when she learns what I’ve done. It won’t matter that I was just a scared kid, and honestly, it shouldn’t. There’s always a choice—even when you can’t see it past the hunger in your belly, or the fear in your heart. I made the wrong choice when I was a teenager, and I’m going to have to face up to it soon, knowing full well that I’m going to lose the only person who has ever made me feel true happiness. Which is why I’m going to be a selfish bastard, and take every happy moment I can get with her before destroying us both.
Training the SECRET (Corrigan & Co #6) Page 7