by Archer, Mia
I’m Not A Villain!
Mia Archer
Contents
The Story So Far
1. Another World
2. Rescued?
3. Smackdown
4. Buried Alive
5. Escape
6. City Scrape
7. Unlikely Savior
8. Volcanic Real Estate
9. Totally Not A Villainous Lair
10. Attacked
11. Introductions
12. Retcon
13. Thin Villainous Line
14. Fight Back
15. A Certain Point of View
16. Hive Mind
17. Unwilling Savior
18. After Action
19. Science!
20. Hijacking
21. Explanations
22. Unleashed
23. Planning
24. Offensive
25. Kaiju Explosion
26. Hole in One
27. Firestorm
28. Expeditious Retreat
29. Trap
30. Trapped
31. Fight Back
32. Local Forces
33. Villainous
34. Invasion
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Also by Mia Archer
I’m Not A Villain!
By Mia Archer
Copyright 2018 Mia Archer
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Individuals pictured on the cover are models and used for illustrative purposes only.
First digital edition electronically published by Mia Archer, July 2018
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The Story So Far
Thanks for picking up this book! I’m Not A Villain is a chronicle of the continuing adventures of Fialux: the greatest hero the world has ever known, and her complicated relationship with Night Terror: the greatest villain the world has ever known!
Their story started in the book Villains Don’t Date Heroes. I’m Not A Villain is a sequel of sorts, but it’s also the start of a new storyline for Night Terror and Fialux!
Which means you don’t need to read the Villains Don’t trilogy to enjoy this book, but it’d certainly help!
If you’d like to give Villains Don’t Date Heroes a try it’s available at Amazon now, and also in Kindle Unlimited. Otherwise read the spoilerific paragraphs below to get caught up on the story, and thanks for reading!
Villains Don’t Date Heroes:
Night Terror is the greatest villain Starlight City has ever seen, which means she’s also the greatest villain the world has ever seen. Unfortunately that meant life was pretty boring for her. At least until a new heroine, Fialux, showed up and started wiping the floor with the world’s greatest villain!
Night Terror plotted to get rid of Fialux, but things got complicated when they ended up falling for each other instead. As if that wasn’t complicated enough, Night Terror’s megalomaniacal supercomputer CORVAC decided he didn’t like his boss going all good and tried to take over the world himself via a giant death robot he piloted to the center of downtown.
Night Terror and Fialux defeated CORVAC and she found herself in the odd position of being hailed as a hero. Not exactly what she was going for, but she figured she’d take it if she had Fialux by her side.
Villains Don’t Save Heroes:
Things go terribly wrong for Night Terror and Fialux when she tries to sneak into the Applied Sciences Department of the Starlight City University. She’s long suspected them of stealing her stuff, but in the fight that results from her break-in Fialux is robbed of her powers courtesy of the new villain in town: the nefarious dean of the Applied Sciences Department Dr. Lana!
Fialux sinks into a depression as she realizes she can’t save the city like she used to. This forces Night Terror both to be there for her girlfriend and try to get her out of her funk while at the same time being forced to save the city from several giant robot attacks since Fialux isn’t able to take care of business.
Things come to a head in a climactic battle where it’s revealed that CORVAC isn’t as dead as Night Terror thought, and Dr. Lana is killed but not defeated thanks to a strange regeneration power she’s developed. Life is more complicated than ever, but Night Terror doesn’t care as long as she has Fialux.
Villains Don’t Train Heroes:
Night Terror has taken it upon herself to give Fialux her powers back via technology. The only problem is it takes a lot of training to get used to her toys. Training her formerly super powered girlfriend doesn’t seem very interested in since they keep getting distracted.
It doesn’t help that there are giant irradiated lizards attacking the city at regular intervals. Or that Night Terror suspects Dr. Lana is behind it all!
This time the climactic battle involves Night Terror duking it out with a couple of giant irradiated lizards. Including a less than fantastic voyage through the lower part of a giant lizard’s lower digestive tract. In the end CORVAC is rescued and Dr. Lana is defeated, but not before she shoves a newly powered up Fialux through a portal to the world where she’d been growing those lizards to unleash them on Starlight City!
Her archnemesis is defeated, but her girlfriend is trapped on an irradiated planet somewhere in the universe where her chances of longterm survival aren’t great if Natalie can’t figure out a way to rescue her!
1
Another World
Something slammed into me. Something grabbed me and pushed.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I’d been so happy. I’d felt powerful again. It was like I’d been operating with no sleep for months and then suddenly I got a good night’s sleep and that’s all it took to recharge the batteries.
Bright light surrounded me and a tingling ran over my body.
Right. I’d been floating in front of that stupid portal. Sure that was what seemed to be giving me my groove back, but standing in front of a big portal leading to a world that created giant irradiated lizards probably wasn’t the best place to be all things considered.
It left me open to attack. Natalie was always telling me I was stupid when I fought. That I left myself open because I’d been powerful and it’d been easier to take a hit than learn how to fight.
“It’s not fair!” I screamed as my body went through an experience of that was it pretty close to being ripped apart and put back together. “I had my powers back! I could fight like an idiot again and get away with it!”
Whatever was out there wasn’t listening.
My body went from feeling like it was being ripped apart to feeling like it was being put back together again. Oddly that was just as unpleasant as being ripped apart. I bet if Natalie was around she’d have some super science explanation she could give me telling me exactly what was happening, but she wasn’t around and all I knew was it hurt!
She’d probably explain everything while she was prancing around in one of those tight bodysuits she seemed to love so much. God I loved it when she pranced around in those tight bodysuits. I loved watching her in them as much as she seemed to love wearing them. I’d do just about anything for her if she was in one of those suits.
I’d do just about anything for her even if she wasn’t wearing one of those suits, but having some eye candy around never hurt.
I blushed again. This wasn’t the time to be thinking of that sort of thing. Not when I was in seri
ous trouble.
My body was whole again. I tumbled through actual air and not that strange tingly feeling and landed on some strange sand. Something exploded behind me, giving me an up close and personal view of the odd purple sand.
I was glad I had my powers back. Getting something stuck in my eye was one of the least pleasant sensations I’d discovered while I was without my powers and could feel pain, and I imagined having an entire sand dune smashed into my eyes wouldn’t feel great.
I got up on my hands and knees and spit out some of that weird sand. The texture wasn’t what made it weird. I imagine sand feels like sand no matter where you are in the universe even if I got the feeling I wasn’t in Kansas anymore.
No, the weirdness was because I was pretty sure I’d never seen purple sand before. At least not outside one of those super neato glass bottles you could get at the county fair and fill with all sorts of different colors of sand.
I wished I was at the county fair now.
An explosion off in the distance pulled my thoughts away from the county fair and the cool purple sand. The only problem was when I turned in the direction of the big explosion I didn’t see the source. Just a big puffy black cloud rising in the distance over the lip of the dune I’d face planted into.
I frowned. Explosions were never good.
Looking up I could definitely tell I was on a new planet. Natalie was always hinting that she thought I came from some strange planet like something straight out of those scifi shows I always put up with so we could get around to making out, and this place was like something straight out of one of those shows.
There were three stars hanging in the sky, for example. One of them was way bigger than the others, but oddly the two off in the distance seemed just as bright. Maybe they were just really close?
Natalie would know the answers. She’d be able to whip out some science doodad and tell me all about it. Or she’d talk about some book she read that some geeky dude wrote because he didn’t get invited to parties in college and spent all his time and energy working out science fiction stuff instead.
Although I didn’t mean that as a bad thing. I’d come to appreciate the geeky types who spent their time locked up in their labs coming up with cool new ideas.
Especially when some of those cool new ideas were skintight catsuits that provided said geek with the power of flight and other interesting things. Meow.
“What the heck is going on over there?” I asked myself, then realized what I was doing. “Great Selena. You’re talking to yourself now. Better hope there’s intelligent life on this planet, because otherwise you’re gonna go crazy pretty soon.”
Crazy wasn’t good. Especially now that I seemed to have all my power back. I felt like I could take on the world, and it was amazing.
The only problem was I didn’t have Natalie around to share this moment with. I worried about her. That crazy bitch Dr. Lana was still out there causing trouble, and I’d left Natalie behind at a critical moment.
I really hoped she’d be okay without me.
For now, though, I couldn’t fly back to the portal. Mostly because it seemed to no longer exist. That explosion that pressed me into the sand must’ve been the portal collapsing.
I smiled. Portal collapsing. Yeah, that sounded liked a good sciencey explanation Natalie would come up with to explain what had happened. I’d go with that.
I scrambled up the dune. I needed to see what was on the other side. Then I realized how ridiculous I was.
I had my powers back. That meant I could fly. I’d gotten so used to playing the game with a handicap that I was letting that define my actions even now.
I floated up and felt the overwhelming joy of knowing I could fly again. Sure something terrible had happened and I was trapped on this strange planet, but I could fly!
Also, now that I had some altitude I could totally see an alien city. It looked a little odd in the strangely dim light of this world, like it was twilight or something, but the lights twinkled and there was definitely life on this planet.
I didn’t need one of Natalie’s fancy gizmos to tell me that.
Also? It looked like that life was totally under attack from the same giant monsters that had been attacking Starlight City. The same giant monsters Natalie had been singlehandedly fighting off since I’d proved to be totally useless in that fight.
Of course being useless had almost been worth it. Natalie had looked incredible while she was saving the city. She always looked incredible when she was doing the whole reluctant hero thing.
Almost as good as she looked when she was doing her villainous thing. Not that I’d ever admit to that.
“Crap,” I said. “Those things are here too?”
It wasn’t fair. I’d traveled between worlds and I was still under attack by giant monsters. Like was that just something that happened everywhere in the universe?
“No, you have to think this through Selena,” I muttered. “Those giant monsters were coming from somewhere. Like maybe Dr. Lana was pulling them from here?”
That made sense. Again there was probably some super science gizmo Natalie could use to tell exactly where these things were coming from, she was like Jeopardy smart, but she wasn’t here so I was on my own.
I was on my own. I almost wanted to collapse, but of course I was floating in the air so it’s not like I could collapse.
Right. I was floating in the air. I really needed to start thinking this through. I was floating because I had my powers back. Natalie had been banging her head against her lab walls trying to figure out how to do this and now it’d happened to me naturally.
Or unnaturally. Dr. Lana had done something to me, and somehow being on this planet fixed it. There were monsters attacking a city down there. I was a hero. Heroes saved cities under attack. It didn’t matter what world I was on.
Sure I hadn’t done a great job of saving Starlight City lately what with all the problems I’d been having, but I could do something now for the city even if I had no idea where I was or who lived there.
I was about to fly down there and throw down when I felt something rumbling behind me. I looked down and frowned. That was weird. The sand was vibrating and moving around. Like there was something big moving that sand.
A hot desert wind blew up around me, which made sense considering I was stranded in a strange purple desert, but when I turned around I realized the heat didn’t come from any local weather peculiarities. No, I found myself looking at yet another giant irradiated lizard that had found its way to this world.
Its hand came down and smacked me. I didn’t have time to avoid it because I hadn’t been paying attention. Sloppy.
I slammed into the sand with a wince. My body had grown so used to things hurting me that I reacted like something that had grown up knowing pain.
So it was a surprise when it didn’t hurt. I might as well have landed on a bunch of fluffy snow instead of sand. The hand came up and sure I was buried in that purple sand, but I was still alive. Which seemed to be both perplexing and infuriating for the giant irradiated lizard that had just tried to end me.
Then again if I suddenly found myself growing to gigantic proportions because I’d been hit with one hell of a dose of radiation I’d probably be pissed off too.
The thing raised a foot and stomped down on me, clearly intending to finish what it had started with that smack. Again I had the instinctive response of thinking that was going to hurt, and again I was pleasantly surprised when the thing smashed me into the sand and I didn’t feel a thing.
I grinned despite the fact that I was buried under a giant lizard foot. I was back, baby! I was back and I was going to make this lizard regret the day it ever decided to mess with me.
The only problem was it was difficult to get much in the way of leverage what with being buried under a giant lizard and pressed into the sand.
I pushed up. That seemed to do the trick. The lizard lifted its foot and looked down with the sort of stupid exp
ression I’d expect from an animal with a brain the size of a walnut that suddenly found itself growing to gigantic proportions.
Weren’t they all supposed to have brains the size of walnuts? Admittedly I was no dinosaurologist, or whatever they call themselves, but I thought I remembered reading something like that in some dinosaur book back when I was in elementary school. I was pretty sure that same ancient book that looked like it hadn’t been updated since black and white TV was still a neat idea said dinosaurs also kept brains in their butts.
I stared up at the monster. It snarled and let out a growl that sounded like a thousand chainsaws digging into one another at the same time. Its foot came down again, but this time I was ready.
I held my hands up and let out a scream as it tried to stomp me, and this time I made contact and my feet dug into the sand, but the soft sand compacted around me and I found myself on almost solid footing. Coupled with my newly regained ability to fly it was more than enough to keep the thing from stomping me again.
I grinned. Oh yeah. It’d been way too long since I’d been able to have fun like this.
2