by Anna Santos
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I used hatred to make you join us,” he declared. “I should have used love instead. Now I can’t go back and undo the wrong I did. But, Violet, I’m here to help you and if you need this, so you come back to us stronger and purged, then so be it.”
“You are full of shit,” I complained, staring at his blue eyes with annoyance. I hated when he played the enlightened card on me. “You are full of hate yourself. You just pretend you don’t. And what concerns love, who do you love? No one! So, don’t come here and tell me what I should do when you are no example and…”
He put his hand over my mouth, shutting me up and I stared at him, confused. “Hush,” he demanded and warned me whispering: “He is coming!”
I think I lost my breath. My heart pounded in my ears. “What? What? Already?”
“You'll be fine. I’ll be just a thought away,” he said and I nodded because I knew he was being true to his words. I just needed to call for him to come. He never let me down. “Now be a good girl and stop doubting yourself.”
I was going to protest his words, but he disappeared magically in a beacon of iridescent light. I had no time to think about Galvin’s words or our weird conversation. Ewan wasn’t wasting any time, and he was coming.
I tried not to breathe deeply, just in case he was using his enhanced audition to spot me. I had to pretend to be busy. I was anxious. I could feel the temperature rising in my body. I was sweating as a common human. I hadn’t gotten used to the changes yet. Everything seemed new because I had been a vampire for so long, that I had forgotten how it was to be a human. All those body odors and emotions influencing my metabolism were extremely uncomfortable.
I went to the bathroom, took off my clothes and turned the water at the same time he knocked on my door. I shut the water and wrapped myself in a towel to answer the door.
“Just a minute. I didn’t expect you so soon, Francesca. I was going to bathe,” I said as I opened the door.
There he was with a lopsided smile. His eyes were beaming abnormally, making it impossible for me to say anything else than oh! and stare at him amazed by his beauty. I had to pretend to be surprised, and I was. Ewan seemed different, cheerful even. Contradicting the miserable state of mind I was accustomed to witnessing before my sudden appearance in his life. I didn’t dwell on my thoughts because it was impossible to think straight and stay immune to his presence. My traitorous heart started to beat fast and my cheeks turned red. I held the towel closer to my chest as I gulped for air. I was feeling shy and I shouldn’t. I had been naked hundreds, thousands of times before, but under his eyes, I would always feel vulnerable and shy.
“Hi!” he greeted, staring at the towel that left little to his imagination. My tanned skin shouldn’t be unnoticed by him. It was the result of several days in a California beach relaxing. I should feel proud about my appearance. I was beautiful, I had men fighting for my heart. He was just another one, he was nothing. He was my target and my toy. I couldn’t forget what he had done to me in the past, and I needed to stick to the plan.
“How? What? Did you follow me?” I asked, trying to appear confused by his presence outside my door.
“I followed you,” he lied. In fact, he had followed my scent not me. Well, it was a type of stalking. I guess.
“Are you a deranged person?”
“No! I just…have to know you,” he answered, voice laced with anxiety. I opened and closed my mouth, not knowing what to say. I gripped my towel harder. “I’m not stalking you. Maybe I am a bit. However, I’m not crazy or deranged. I just want to know you,” he said, trying to win my trust.
“Well,” I said, staring in his blue and breathtaking eyes. “I’m kind of busy right now. Can’t it wait until I take a shower?” I smiled amused, contradicting his gloomy state of mind.
“Take your time,” he answered, straightening up. He smiled and ruffled his hair with one hand, making my eyes follow every movement.
He was tall and well-built with the imposing body of a Celtic warrior. My eyes wandered to his chest where I used to get lost, caressing those muscles and tasting his skin. We used to have amazing nights of sex, his mouth on my shoulders and his hands on my thighs, caressing me and making me beg for his touch. I gulped for air and pursed my lips, trying to chase those memories away. I nearly dropped my towel from those prohibited memories of the two of us making love. I wondered if seeing me almost nude brought back the memory of those nights for him as well. Was my image capable of reminding him of Violet or Ebony? Did he find me sexy? His eyes were on me. There was nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to read his mind. But unlike mine, when I was caught by Galvin, Ewan's mind was unreachable by my powers.
“I won’t invite you in,” I said, noticing his reluctance in leaving, or even saying another word.
He didn’t try to enthrall me to change my mind. He just said, “I’ll wait for you downstairs in the bistro.” He pulled up the sleeves of the single cotton sweater that covered his upper body and left at a slow pace.
I couldn’t help myself but watch how his jeans were shaped to his thighs and butt. He could make a room of women stop breathing just by walking in; or out. And he still made my heart beat fast and out of control. I needed a cold shower before getting dressed to meet him and start the seduction. Mostly, I needed to keep my dirty thoughts in check.
8
HUNGER
THIRTY MINUTES LATER, I found him sitting at the bistro, staring off into space with a glazed over look in his eyes. He must have caught my scent again, because, soon enough, his eyes were on me. He grinned, acknowledging my arrival, and got up to pull out a chair for me to sit down. I didn’t smile back at him, though. I had to pretend to be hard to get and mistrust his behavior.
“Now that I’m properly dressed, may I know why you are stalking me?” I asked, folding my arms and waiting for him to react to my serious question.
“I’m not stalking you,” he replied mildly with his gaze on me, making me feel uncomfortable.
“Do I have something on my face?” I asked.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that you remind me a lot of someone I used to know.”
“I think you should try another approach if you are trying to seduce me. That one is also a really bad pickup line.”
“Who said I’m trying to seduce you?”
He was being cocky, but I was not going to be tricked so easily. “Well for a start, you sat at my table while I was reading my book, and then you mocked my choice of books, and you somehow found out where I live,” I explained. “And you invited me for a coffee, so I guess you are trying to grab my attention, or you’re just crazy. Is there any other option for all this?”
“I did all of that because you really remind me of someone I used to know,” he declared, and I evaded his eyes. “However, I understand your concern. But I’m not a stalker, and I don’t mean to harm you or to stalk you. I promise.”
“Well, this is awkward enough then,” I declared, staring around the bistro where other people were talking and laughing. “Especially because everybody knows that deranged people wouldn’t confess that they are a psychopath or a stalker.”
He chuckled at my words, and I glared at him, pretending to be annoyed by his sizzling and amazing laughter. I had missed it, and my face became softer while memories of our past came rushing to my mind. We had been happy together, at least, I thought we were because I had never expected his betrayal. He had pretended to love me, and then he stabbed me in the back, replacing me and breaking my heart. I was never able to love again or trust anyone, for that matter. I was lonely. Maybe after his death, maybe after my revenge, I’d be able to open my heart to love.
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” he whispered huskily, staring at me with a more serious expression. “It’s been a while since I laughed so easily at someone’s witty comments. You are really a force of nature, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. Am I?” I asked, arching an e
yebrow and making him smirk.
“You are.”
His words were a sign that I had spiked his interest.
The waiter came, and I asked for an orange juice while Ewan’s eyes wouldn’t leave my face and stalked my every move. He had a cup of coffee in front of him, which he hadn’t touched. I tried to relax, tapping my nails on the table, and making an annoying sound. However, the staring contest between us was nerve-wracking. He wasn’t making any effort to make conversation.
“You know that you are creeping me out, right?” I asked and he nodded, making me roll my eyes. He grinned, tilting his head to stare at me closely, and I sighed in desperation.
“Who is she?”
“Who is who?”
“The person I remind you of.”
“Someone who was really important to me,” he replied. I sighed again, losing patience.
Meanwhile, the waiter brought me my drink, and I tried to distract myself while drinking and staring at the crowd. There were a lot of people walking down the street, with no care in the world and free from vengeful thoughts, or at least I expected so. My plan was crazy, and it wasn’t going to work. Ewan was acting weird and creepy. Maybe he suspected something.
“I think I’m going to get back home. I have someone that I was going to meet, and this situation is just getting weirder,” I said.
“Is Francesca a friend of yours?”
“Yes. We’ve met at the university. She is a student like myself, and she was going to show me the town.”
“I can show you the town. It would be fun.”
“Yes, well, I rather you don’t,” I said, trying to sound believable. “I don’t think that going out with you would be a really wise decision. I don’t date serial killers.”
He arched an eyebrow in disbelief with my words. “So, now I’m a serial killer. What happened to being a stalker?”
“Dude, seriously, you are weird. You are hot and all, but you are seriously creeping me out with your ogling eyes.”
The look on his face was priceless. I had to control myself not to burst into laughter. It was my best personification of a girl of my age from this era. I even forced the accent to make me sound even more innocent and young.
“How old are you?” he asked.
I pursed my lips and sighed in annoyance before I answered. “I’m almost twenty-one years old. Why?”
“You are just a child,” he whispered, leaning back in the chair while staring at the crowd with pensive eyes. “For a moment there, I thought I was having another hallucination. You may resemble her, but you are nothing like her.”
“And who is she?” I pretended to be intrigued by it, even if his words had hurt me in a way that I didn’t think it would be even possible.
“My wife,” he answered almost inaudible to the human ear.
“She must be dead for you to talk like that,” I whispered, feeling uncomfortable by the pain I saw flickering in his eyes. His answer was an enigma since I didn’t know of whom he was talking about. I had an idea he was talking about Ebony; even if my heart preferred if it was Violet who he considered his wife. I shouldn’t have expected much from him, he’d given me no reason to. He had never cared about me, all along, he loved and wanted Ebony. I was a replacement, and he was looking for another one by the look of it.
“Yes, she is. She was killed.”
“I’m sorry about that. Did they catch the one who did it?”
“Some but not all,” he answered, and I frowned. “It is a long and sad story that I have no intention of telling you. I’m sorry for bothering you, Sarah. I didn’t want to scare you, and I had no intentions of making you feel uncomfortable with my presence.”
“Did you love her a lot?” I asked with curiosity, dismissing his apologies.
“Yes, she was my whole world.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m not her and I really don’t do cliché dates where I’m the doppelganger of your deceased wife. I really don’t need the stress and the weirdness,” I explained, getting up and leaving.
I was perfectly aware that I had blown my chance of making him fall for me, and getting my revenge; however, something inside me was cowering. It was a stupid plan anyhow. What was I thinking? I was so much smarter than that. I should just catch him when he was sleeping, and cut his head off. Simple and quick, that was how I should finish him off. I should forget all about the elaborate plans of getting him to fall for me, so I could steal him from Anastasia. I wanted her to suffer as I had. I wanted her to taste her own venom. However, it was ridiculous now that I was in front of him, listening to his sappy sad story about his deceased wife. After all those centuries, Ewan still loves Ebony. How could I compete against a ghost?
I felt safe once I entered my building, and I climbed the stairs to my apartment. I would pack my things and leave, and never look back.
“Sarah,” Ewan called me, making me turn to see him downstairs with pleading eyes.
He shortened the distance between us, and we were face to face, breath to breath. He smelled nice, and he would probably taste nicer. But I had to stay focused and understand what he wanted. Was he going to try to glamor me? My heart was about to explode inside my chest. The pain, the emptiness was unbearable.
“What?” I whispered, finding the silence strange, finding the distance between our lips insufferable.
“May we be friends?”
“Friends,” I repeated, pretending to sound confused.
“I promise to act normal and not be so creepy around you.”
“Like now?” That situation was anything but normal.
Ewan smiled at my sarcastic remark, and I found myself smiling back at him.
“Exactly. Like now,” he replied huskily, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. My eyes were heavy and I wanted to close them and put my arms around his neck, pulling him closer so I could drown my mouth in his. “So, can I be your guide to show you the town and other really nice places in this country?”
“I guess,” I replied, climbing up another step; so I could put some distance between us.
“Okay, so I’ll be back here, tomorrow, at seven to take you out for dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“You have to taste the food to better know the culture of a country.”
“I had other things planned,” I explained.
“You just need to cancel them,” he said, turning his back at me with a sexy smirk, and making his way down the stairs.
“You are really full of yourself, do you know that?” I accused him, before he could leave.
“Yes, I know. Be ready tomorrow at seven p.m.; I don’t like women who are late for their dates.”
“This isn’t a date,” I replied promptly, hands on my hips and stuck up nose.
He just waved goodbye and left me there, mouth agape with incredulity. Things were set in motion. The only question remaining was if I was willing to play his dangerous game, or not.
9
GIVING IN TO DESIRE
I ENTERED MY APARTMENT, and as soon as I closed the door, I felt him. Galvin had materialized in my small living room, and I just didn’t have the courage to turn around to stare at his accusing eyes.
“I have a terrible headache. Can we please have this conversation tomorrow?” I asked, leaning against the door and pushing my forehead against the coolness of the wood to soothe my pain.
“For a moment there, I thought you were going to give up,” he whispered, and I felt my body shivering with the closeness. He was just behind me, towering over me with his shadow, and I grimaced painfully against the door. He wasn’t going to leave me alone until he lectured me all he wanted. He was stubborn like that.
“I was,” I confessed, hoping it wasn’t another reason to make him mad at me.
“Do you still want to give up?”
“No, I think I can do this,” I declared, his soft tone relaxed me. He didn’t sound mad, he sounded concerned. I knew he cared, however, it was unusual fo
r him to show it. I hadn’t sensed his presence, monitoring my actions. But his words were showing that he had been spying on me. “I know what I’m doing,” I said more to myself than to him. I wished I knew what I was doing. I wanted to be strong enough to survive the attraction.
“Violet.” Galvin’s voice was laced with emotion. “Tell me the truth.”
“I can do this,” I assured him.
“I think,” he paused briefly, “that you will need some persuasion to keep you focused,” he declared, and I trembled when I felt the unexpected warmth of his hands on my shoulders. He squeezed them gently, moving my hair away.
“What do you mean?” I asked, shivering.
His touch was confusing. He never touched me, unless we were training, or he was teaching me something that required us to touch each other.
“How long has it been since you got laid?” he asked. I choked on my breathing. He turned me on my heels and I faced him, widened eyes and confused face. He was serious, no trace of amusement or playful teasing. “One month, two months?”
“That’s none of your concern,” I muttered, finding myself flustered by his question.
“Actually, it is,” he said close to my face, making me swallow hard. I hoped he wasn’t implying what I thought he was, or else it would be extremely awkward. “I don’t need to read your mind to know that you are feeling conflicted about this.”
“About what?”
“About me touching you,” he replied huskily. “We weren’t able to finish our previous conversation,” he said, caressing my hair, and leaving a trail of goose-bumps on my skin with the tip of his fingers. His hands kept wandering down my neck, and I didn’t know what to do or think about that.
“What conversation?” I questioned, grabbing his hand, to stop his caresses. “What’s wrong with you today?”
He smirked at my confused eyes, bringing my hand to his lips. The touch of his lips on my fingers made my vision become blurry. An unexpected warmth hit my stomach and sent crazy butterflies caressing every nerve of my skin. I gasped, but before I could make sense of the sudden feeling, he put an arm around my waist and pulled me firmly against his body. He was extremely tall. I widened my eyes with surprise and leaned my head back to stare into his eyes. His eyes were glowing, and I found myself surrendering to the closeness of our bodies.