by Kacey Shea
“You never stop, do you?”
“That’s what the ladies tell me.” He winks and I roll my eyes.
“I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”
“That’s fair.” He wraps an arm around my shoulders like we’re the best of pals and leads us back to the bar. It’s sad how much I revel in his touch. My entire body lights up, craves more. It’s been too long since I’ve been with a man. Yup. That must be it. I should pull away, or go back to our group, but I’m interested to see what comes out of his mouth next.
“Two of whatever’s on tap.” Of course, one look from him and the bartender bustles to fill our order.
“I accept that you won’t sleep with me tonight.” He drops his arm and I immediately miss the warmth. He pulls out a twenty, lays it on the bar and grabs both glasses. He hands me one but doesn’t release the glass right away. His eyes widen and my breath catches as our fingers touch. His mouth dips to my ear again. His words cover me like honey. “Not tonight. But one night soon. I don’t give up easily when I want something. In fact, some might say I get a little obsessed.” He pulls back, a cheeky grin on his face, and flashes that stud in his tongue before he takes a sip from his beer.
I pull my glass to my lips and take big gulps—a futile attempt to cool my body and hopefully regain my ability to speak. He laughs.
“Slow down there, Nurse Betty. Let’s get back to your friends.” He grins and we make our way back to the group.
“My name’s not Betty.”
“Yeah, although that’s a shame. I’ve always had a thing for Betty.”
I pause to study his face.
“Boop.”
“Huh?”
“Betty Boop.”
“Wow. You really do have a thing for older women.”
“So, do I get to know your actual name or am I gonna have to jerk off later to Betty the nurse?” He lowers his voice as we rejoin our friends. My brother and Jon cast suspicious glowers in our direction.
“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” I shift my glass to my left hand and wipe my palm across my leggings before extending it to Derek. “Carly Reynolds. Nice to officially meet you.”
He smiles and I return it with an authentic one of my own.
“Derek Taylor. But you already knew that.” He grins wider at the last part.
“Yeah, like, ’cause everyone knows your name, ’cause, like, you’re totally famous!” I use my best Valley Girl impression.
“Totally.” He grins.
“Back off the groom’s sister. You’re supposed to do me a favor, not make a scene!” Kate hisses between us and I drop my hand. I didn’t even realize he was still holding it.
Derek’s eyes widen as he looks from Tate to me and then back again. “Shit.” He swears under his breath. “You never told me he is your brother.”
I giggle because yes, Tate looks intimidating when he wants to. The muscles and tats give the illusion he’s a tough guy, but underneath the exterior he’s a big softy. My little brother all grown up and ready to get married. Hell, when did that happen? I remember making him cry just by playing the Michael Jackson Thriller soundtrack.
“Must have missed my chance, what with your unsuccessful attempts to get me in your bed.” His eyes widen and he sputters.
Kate laughs. “Ouch. You should probably work on your game. The famous rock star guise only goes so far.”
“I have no problems getting laid!” He shouts, earning attention and a few giggles.
“Having a rough night, big guy?” Trent punches him in the shoulder and races off, catching up to some blonde in a short skirt.
“It’s okay. Everyone has bad days.” Kate pats his head as one would a dog and winks my way.
“I’m voluntarily taking the night off.” Derek draws out and lifts his glass in the air. “Apparently, there’s more to life than getting off.”
“Speak for yourself.” Tate chuckles and wraps his arms around Evie to pull her flush against his front.
“Where are Melissa and Drew? They leave already?” I look around. Evie and Kate giggle. Jon rolls his eyes.
“She had to go to the ‘bathroom’ and I guess that’s now a two person job.” Evie uses air quotes, then gags, “It’s my sister so it’s still gross, you know?”
“Melissa and Drew have this weird thing about public bathrooms.” Tate clarifies, as if anyone wasn’t sure of what she was referring.
“I want to applaud them, but it’s so unsanitary.” Kate adds matter of fact. “I get the overwhelming need to fuck, but why not storage closets, or cars, or alleyways . . . but bathrooms? Like is it the toilet seat covers or the automatic hand dryers that turns them on?”
Laughter turns to more conversation and I settle into Derek’s presence. He’s fire, I know. I shouldn’t even play with matches. Yet here he is and I can’t help but stand close to his heat.
Glancing at my cell confirms it’s nearing midnight. Shit. I need to go. I stand and the skyline tilts back and forth before centering. Crap, crap, crap. I can’t drive.
“Hey, little brother, congrats again. Great party.” I give him a hug and kiss on the cheek before doing the same to Evie, “I can’t wait ’til we’re officially sisters. Love you.”
“You’re not driving.” Tate reprimands.
“No way. I’m gonna cab home. See you tomorrow?”
He nods with a smile. They booked a hotel suite for the night. I don’t blame them. It’s gotta be annoying sharing a home with your sister and her kids. Fuck. A sadness washes over me and clouds the party spirit from earlier. Things are changing. I can feel it approaching like a storm. I give a little shiver as a cool breeze blows through.
“Later, everyone! Have a good night!” I yell over the chatter, earning a few waves. I turn, and Derek’s at my side.
“I’ll make sure you get home okay.” he says.
“It’s okay, I’m taking a cab.”
“Good, we can share. I’m too fucked up to drive.” He beams.
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes and power walk down the stairs to the hostess stand. He follows with a lazy jog and I do my best to ignore the thrill that comes from him not leaving me alone.
“We need a cab,” he interjects before I can open my mouth.” The hostess nods, eyes wide and rendered speechless, pointing to the row of cabbies just outside the gate.
“Thanks, love.” He winks and I swear the poor girl almost faints. She scrambles for her phone as we walk out the archway.
“You’re in a rush, Cinderella . . . your clothes gonna disappear if you’re not home by midnight? ’Cause I wanna be around for that.”
“No, dumbass. I have a sitter and I promised her I’d be home by midnight.”
“Right. Kids.” He opens the door for me, and I sit inside, scooting as he slides in as well. I rattle off my address and main cross streets to the driver.
“You’re a good mom. I can tell,” Derek says sincerely.
“How can you say that? You don’t even know me.” I laugh.
“Well, you’re passing on this.” He dramatically sweeps his hands up and down his body with a wry grin.
I laugh and shake my head. “You’re really full of yourself.”
“Why, thank you.”
“I didn’t mean that as a compliment.” I lift my chin to meet his intense gaze. The passing street lights cast his face from dark to light and back again. He looks dangerous and sexy as fuck. The comedic entertainer disappears somewhere along the ride.
I lick my lips and anticipate his kiss. His eyes follow the movement and he’s transfixed in their wake. I want him. I shouldn’t. I won’t.
The car pulls to a slow stop. “Fifteen,” mutters the driver.
“I’ve got it,” Derek whispers and dips his head close enough that our lips barely don’t touch.
He leans his strong male body over mine to pull the door handle and push open the door. I don’t miss how his arm grazes my breasts, or how my nipples harden at the touch. I inhale, and savo
r the scent that is pure male and a suggestion of mint. Derek leans back into his seat with a satisfied smirk.
“’Night, mama.”
“’Night, Derek.” I step out of the vehicle and he mutters something to the cabbie as I walk to the door. Twisting the key in the lock, I turn to look back.
“I’ll see you around!” Derek yells out the open taxi window.
“I’m not so sure you will!” I fire back sweetly.
He laughs. “We’ll see about that!” He slaps his hand outside the cab, and the driver whisks him away from my drive.
I’ll probably never see him again. I wish that left me with satisfaction instead of disappointment.
“MAMA! CAN WE MAKE PANCAKES?” Eli shouts as he jumps onto my bed. The mattress moves with every bump, throwing pillows and blankets haphazardly. My stomach rolls and I cringe at the movement. I crack one eye and read the time from the clock. Almost eight o’clock. I’m lucky they let me sleep this much.
“Mama! Mama, wake up!” He hops again, this time losing his balance and landing head first into my side. I wince at the pain. This is one of many reasons I don’t go out. Kids don’t care if you’ve been drinking or had a long night. In fact, it’s almost as if they can tell you had fun without them and feel the need to deliver payback in the form of rambunctious behavior and jubilant shouts.
“Mama!” Eli screams. Point in case.
“Elijah, baby, you need to talk quietly. It’s still early.”
“I’m bored. Ezra won’t let me play with him. I’m hungry, too.” My alone time is officially up for the day. I sigh and roll out of my bed.
“Help me make the bed and then I’ll take you boys out for donuts.”
“Yay!” Eli shouts, and I squint with the sound as if that’ll somehow help. It’s mornings like this that I wish for a way to control the volume of my children.
I love my boys. Their enthusiasm for life has kept me positive and moving forward on days when I didn’t want to. But they’re loud and fully energetic on a Saturday morning.
Eli tucks the sheets and lays out my blankets with amusement. It’s contagious and soon I’m smiling too as I arrange the pillows.
“Go tell your brother to get dressed, and both brush your teeth, then we’ll go.”
“Okay!” He races out of the room and I pull on my most worn blue jeans and a T-shirt from a charity walk I did last year, and arrange my loose hair into a bun on top of my head.
I walk down the hall and notice their beds are unmade and someone left the light on in the bathroom. They’re sitting by the front door, tying up their laces with complete concentration.
“Eli, Ezra, go make your beds, please, and turn the bathroom light off.”
“Can you do it?” Eli whines and Ezra pins him with a hard glare. Elijah always pushes his luck. Ezra, being older and most definitely the wiser, knows when to do as Mom says and keep his mouth shut.
“No, it’s your responsibility.” I say. I grab my purse and replace my id and cards from last night’s clutch.
“But I helped you with your bed,” he whines again.
I open my mouth to reply, but Ezra beats me to it. “Eli, let’s go make our beds. I’ll race you!” Ezra takes off down the hall and Eli follows with a grin. I chuckle to myself and pull on a hoodie from the hall closet.
We drive to the best little donut shop in Arizona, Bosa’s. The boys peer in wonder through the glass at the wide variety of sugar and dough before they finally decide on a maple long john and a cinnamon twist. I order a large coffee and we take our feast back to the car for the short ride to our park.
It’s close to Tate’s home, hidden within the neighborhood so it’s never too crowded. I pull out the blanket I keep in the trunk and we make a little picnic under a tree where we can see the pond and the playground.
I listen as they chat about their week at school between big bites. Frosting and sugar cover their adorable faces. Their expressive green eyes dance with every emotion as they retell the week’s activities. I love this. In this moment I don’t need or wish for more. They are my world.
“Mama, can I ask you a question?” Ezra pulls a dandelion and picks the seeds off one at a time. He tosses each seed into the air and watches it float through the breeze before repeating again.
“You can always ask me anything.”
“When do you pick the girl to marry?” He pauses in messing with the weed to pin me with imploring eyes. “Like, when do you know she’s the one?”
It takes everything I have to not giggle at his question. If it weren’t for that questioning gaze, so full of sincerity, I probably would. I bite my lip and consider his question. To come up with an answer that might give his little mind a truth to hold fast in his later years.
“Well . . . that’s a very good question. You have to really get to know a person. Not rush. Take years and years to make sure their inside character matches their outside attraction. And make sure you’re at least thirty.” I wink and Ezra giggles.
“Thirty is so old.”
“Hey, watch it, little man,” I tease. “Why were you wondering about that, Ezra? Any cute girls at school trying to steal you away from me already?”
His face scrunches into a grimace. “No, yuck. Girls are stupid.” He meets my gaze and amends. “Not you, Mama. I was wondering because I heard Miss Linda tell someone on the phone that Uncle Tate and Evie were getting married awfully quick.”
“Was this when she watched you boys last week?” He nods. I keep my questions light and my voice from sounding accusatory. I can’t believe Linda would say something like that. Evie’s mom has been so welcoming and supportive of our family.
“Were you in the room when she said that?” Ezra looks away. “Hey, Ezra. It’s okay. You’re not in trouble, but I need to know.”
“I was supposed to be sleeping. I snuck out so I could watch the baseball game on TV. They didn’t know I was there.” I nod with relief that Evie’s mom wouldn’t talk like that in front of the boys.
“Well, I think some people probably think your Uncle Tate and Auntie Evie should wait a little longer before getting married. But they are old enough to make that kind of decision and I support your Uncle Tate. I think Evie is a perfect partner for him.”
Ezra grins. “Me too. Plus she’s really pretty.” I try not to roll my eyes. Boys. They must come out this way.
“Mama, can we go play on the slide now?” Eli asks and I use my thumb to wipe off the icing left behind on his face.
“Sure thing, but stay where I can see you. Stick together.”
“We know!” Ezra shouts. They’re already off running and halfway to the playset. I settle back against the tree. I nurse my coffee and the warm liquid soothes my pounding head as well as breathes energy into my tired mind.
The boys race around the playground. They immediately start up some game using imagination, pirate voices, and lots of running. They’re ecstatic to have the entire area to themselves.
Ezra’s question pulls at a memory I’d rather forget. I wish I could go back and take the advice I just gave him.
“I. Love. You.” Josh punctuates each deep, hard thrust with the words that make me lose every last vulnerability. I feel my orgasm building, threatening to explode with each movement of his hips.
His hands cup the sides of my face and my eyes melt in his gaze. Sweat forms at his temples and I know he’s close, too. A strangled sound forces out my lips as he grips my hair at the base of my neck and pulls hard. Tears form in my eyes from the pain, and his demanding, punishing pace continues.
“That’s it, baby. Fuck, you’re so good.” He drops his other hand from my face and snakes it between our sweaty bodies to find my center. Knowing exactly where I need it, his fingers rub quick circles until I can’t help but scream out his name. My release crashes over me and Josh pulls out, finishing over my belly. “Damn, that’s hot.” He breathes before rolling to his back.
The only sounds are that of our hurried breaths slow
ing to an even pace. I turn my cheek so it rests on the cool fabric. Josh stares at the ceiling and I relish in the opportunity to just watch him. Strong jaw, kissable lips, hard eyes that can be dangerous sometimes and sweet others. I love this man.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers. Had I not been watching his lips I wouldn’t have heard the words.
“What? Don’t say that. Of course you do.”
“You’re too good for me. If you knew what was best you would break things off and leave my sorry ass.” He’s just feeling bad because he lost his job at the shop.
“Hey. Don’t say that.” I grab a dirty towel from off the floor and wipe my stomach clean before climbing back on the bed to straddle his legs. He tries to push me away but I grab his face between my hands. “I love you. I choose you. I don’t care about what anyone else says or thinks.”
My parents don’t like him. They don’t approve of us, and think we’re moving too fast by living together after just a few weeks. I didn’t really plan it, but it made sense, especially with him looking for work right now. Besides, they can’t tell me what to do. I make my own choices. I’m graduated, have a nursing job, and pay my own bills.
His gaze is hard and unwavering. “You mean that, Carly?”
“You know I do,” I whisper, peppering kisses over his lips. He catches my own in a torching kiss, pulling my naked chest flush with his.
“How did I get so damn lucky?” He pulls back just enough to whisper, “Marry me? Stay with me forever, Carly?” My eyes fill with tears and I feel the love flowing between us. I’ve never felt this before with anyone. He’s it for me.
“Yes!” I kiss him hard. “Yes, fucking yes, I will marry you!”
A young couple with a toddler enters the playground and my walk down memory lane ends. The family draws my attention with their behavior. The woman laughs and pushes her curly haired toddler back and forth in the swing. He squeals, a joyful sound, with each shove. The man grins as his glance travels between the child and woman. His hand sits with a gentle touch at her hip.