by Kacey Shea
“It’s been a hell of a month.” I laugh too.
A knock pulls our attention to the door. A nurse steps in, two uniformed officers behind her.
“I know you guys are ready to get home, but these detectives have a few questions before we discharge you.”
Carly nods and then yawns, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.
“You okay, mama? We can deal with the police tomorrow.”
“No. Let’s get this over with. Then you can take me home.”
“I like the sound of that.” I kiss her lips. “Coffee?”
“That would be heaven sent,” she gushes.
I stand and leave Carly with the PD so they can get what they need for their investigation. Jon and I heard the full story when she gave her statement earlier. For now the crazy doctor is behind bars. After the incident with her ex, and now Dr. Brooks, we’ve had our lifetime fill of being attacked. There’s nothing much I can do. With both men in lockup I can only focus on the good, taking care of my woman. And to start, I’m determined to find the best damn coffee this hospital supplies.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS, MAMA,” DEREK WHISPERS in my ear before rolling me onto my back. He climbs over me, and the thick blankets of the bed cover us like a tent. I bite my lip remembering how we celebrated Christmas last night, after playing Santa and setting the gifts around the tree.
“You thinking about last night?” he murmurs, and grinds his erection between us.
“What time is it?” I ask and then bite down to keep a moan from escaping my lips. He continues to rub himself between my legs and just like that my body’s fully awake and aroused.
“It’s early. A little after four.” My eyes widen and he grins.
“Derek, why on earth did you wake me up at four in the morning?”
“Because I wanted to give you your present,” he says. I giggle.
“I think you already gave it to me last night.”
“Yeah, I did.” He smirks, then kisses my lips. “But not that. I’m talking about my real gift.” He tosses the covers off and cold air hits my skin and sends goosebumps all over my flesh. He jumps off the bed and rummages around in his overnight bag.
He struts back to the bed, wearing only a cocky smile at his lips and boxer briefs that leave nothing to the imagination. I exhale, and a grin spreads across my lips. I don’t know how I got so damn lucky but I’m taking it.
I scoot back on the bed and cross my legs in front of me. He jumps onto the bed; his giddy energy fills me with excitement.
“Close your eyes, mama.” My lids shut and he kisses me hard, his tongue and metal bar moving inside my mouth. My sex tightens and I want him between my legs, inside me. God, will it always be this way with him? I can’t get enough.
“Keep ’em shut,” he whispers.
“You’re enough of a gift, Derek. You didn’t have to get me anything,” I say back.
His throaty chuckle fills the room. “I know, Carly, I know. But maybe just wait and see what it is first. Go ahead, open.”
My eyelids snap open and it takes a second for my sight to adjust. Oh God! He didn’t. It’s too soon. He can’t. My mouth drops open. Derek sits in front of me holding a box. A jewelry box. The size a ring goes inside.
“Derek . . . I can’t. I mean. It’s too soon. We just got together. I mean, I love you. I just—” I stammer. He doesn’t stop smiling. In fact, his grin widens.
“Carly, open the damn box.” He shoves it into my hands and I accept it.
I glance between the box and his face about a dozen times. He finally takes it from my hands and opens the lid so we both can see the ring—oh, dear God—that kind of ring.
I cover my mouth to dampen the sounds of my laughter.
“Oh babe, you shouldn’t have—”
“Is it what you’ve always wanted?” He waggles his eyes. “I’ve always wanted to try a cock ring, but you see . . .” He takes it out of the box and places it in my hands. “I guess I was waiting for the right girl.”
“Mmmm . . . I’ve always wondered about these.” I study the clear rubber and give a little jolt when it begins to vibrate.
“What do you say, mama? Will you let me fuck you with a cock ring?”
“Yes! She said yes!” With a grin I push to my knees and straddle his lap. I run my fingers down his strong jaw and then cup his face, tilting it so I can kiss, suck and bite his lips.
He flips me to my back with a growl and makes quick work of removing my clothes, all the while trailing his lips over every inch of my skin. His hands spread my legs and his fingers dip inside my wetness.
He groans, palms himself, and I roll my present over his erection so it fits snuggly at the base.
“I love you, Carly.”
“I love you, Derek.”
He pushes inside, holding tight to one of my legs so it’s between us, while he spreads the other out to the side. The angle hits deep and with every thrust the edge of the cock ring hits my clit. Oh, God. So good. It’s too much and not enough. The space between us closes in. It fills in all the pieces of my heart, even the shattered spots I pretend aren’t there.
“Shhh . . . mama. Shhh . . .” Derek leans over me, covering my body with his as my orgasm crashes and consumes. His lips cover mine and he swallows my screams. His hips increase momentum and I lift mine to meet him thrust for thrust. His kisses become more erratic and I know he’s close. His hands frame my head, weaving into my hair to hold tight. Our heads still touch and it’s the most intimate and erotic feeling.
“I’m so close,” he pants. “I need to pull out.”
“Don’t.” I’m on birth control and I want him, all of him. Us together.
“Yeah?” He gasps. I nod.
“Come, Derek. Come inside me.” Now it’s his turn to attempt not to shout and he buries his cries in my neck, into the blankets and pillows. I feel him fill me and that damn ring vibrates atop my most sensitive spot, trapped between his body and mine.
“Oh, oh, oh—” Another orgasm hits and he kisses my lips. My body hums and pulses with pleasure, bliss, and still the ring.
“Oh, God. Please, take it off.” I giggle. “I can’t anymore. I’m spent.”
He laughs and rolls to the side, slides off the ring and drops it in the bedside drawer. I nuzzle my face onto his chest and drape a leg over his. I trace the lines of his ink. I memorize this moment, the smell of sweat and sex. The way our skin’s slick with perspiration and how the cool air prickles across my back.
“Good?” he says into my hair.
“Always.” I kiss his chest.
“I don’t know what could make this day any better.” he whispers into the darkness and my mind immediately goes to Luis.
“If you could have one more thing . . . anything you wanted for Christmas, what would it be?” I ask, and trace the skin on his still healing hand.
“That Luis gets better,” he answers immediately. I nod.
“That’s what I was just wishing.” I fight the tears that threaten. I don’t want to cry today. In the past month I found love and almost lost it. I almost lost Derek. I almost lost myself. In this moment it seems selfish to ask for anything else. The room is quiet, our even breaths the only sound to fill the space. Up, down, up, down, the movement of his chest is a steady rhythm and reminder that I’m safe, healthy, loved. I try to relish in the feeling but self-doubt works its way in.
“You don’t wish you were going on tour?” I say. I study the shading of his ink. I want to be more secure. In myself, in us. That I’m enough. “I know you told them to find a permanent replacement, but you could still change your mind. You worked so hard to make it, and now that you have, you’re giving it all up? You don’t have to. We can make it work with you on the road.”
His decision raises all sorts of concerns. Did he mean it or was it simply a brash reaction to my kidnapping? Will he really be able to make a living writing music alone? Will it be enough for him? He’s given up so much for me, for us. Will I
disappoint him and he’ll wish he was back with the band?
“Carly . . .”
“Mmmm.” He brushes my hair back from my face with his fingertips, and pulls me from my thoughts.
“You. Are. Enough.” His forceful command steals my breath and I rest my chin so I can meet his gaze. His chocolatey eyes swim with deep emotion.
“Not only are you enough, you’re everything. You’re my everything. Last week—hell, this entire month—it all has led me to one truth.”
I wait and his lips pull into a wide grin.
“I will not spend one more night away from you. And as much as I love the band and will be forever grateful for my time and experience with them and that part of my life, it holds no joy or excitement. Not when you’re here.”
He rolls to his side, braces one strong, tatted arm on my hip and captures my lips with his own. Soft and playful at first, he’s soon sensual and erotic. My entire body tingles with awareness. I run my fingers up and down his back. When he pulls back we’re both panting.
“You’re my home, mama,” he whispers and then rolls me to my back. His lips trail from my neck to my breasts. I gasp when he sucks one nipple into his mouth and rolls his metal stud over the sensitive flesh.
Knock, knock, knock. The door shakes and the handle jiggles.
“Shit,” I whisper, and frantically reach for blankets to cover us.
“Mama! Mama, he came!”
“Santa left us presents!”
“Can we open them?”
“Why is your door locked?”
I bury my head in Derek’s neck and his entire body convulses with uncontained laughter. He braces himself above me and I gaze up into his eyes. I shake my head and bite my lower lip.
“You sure you’re ready for this?” Eli and Ezra’s talking gains volume, mirroring their Christmas morning excitement. Derek’s eyes dance and he nods. His lips pull up at the edges.
“I’m ready for it all, mama.”
Three Years Later
“COME ON, BABE. YOU’RE KICKING ass! You’ve got this!” I don’t know how but she manages to release a guttural cry of pain and maintain a scowl all while squeezing the circulation from my fingers.
“Fuck you! I’m birthing your child, not running a race. Argh!” she moans and the little beeping monitor races with the contraction. I have no clue what I’m doing, and I’m scared as shit right now. All I know is my wife needs me so I paste on what I hope resembles an encouraging smile and kiss her ear.
“I love you, mama. You can do this. Almost done.”
“Stop fucking kissing me,” she hisses.
“Language,” I chide.
“Whatever. I’m not working and the boys aren’t here. I’m not perfect.” She pants the last words and her face goes pale.
“Breathe mama, breathe. You’re perfect to me.”
“Okay, Carly. So close. One more big push on this next contraction. Can you do that for us?” Doctor Lane says matter of factly.
Carly nods with a look of determination on her face, and it doesn’t escape me that the doctor doesn’t get chewed out. I guess that’s reserved for the husband.
The monitor starts to beep and Carly squeezes my hand tight. Nurse Chelsea, Nurse Ana, Dr. Lane, and I all offer words of encouragement and Carly bears down. Her face turns an alarming shade of bright red. My eyes don’t leave her face. A cry, mild and sort of scratchy, fills the room. My gaze drifts to the sound.
“Congratulations.” Doctor Lane hands off our baby to Nurse Chelsea. “You have a beautiful daughter,” she adds with a smile. A girl. It’s a girl. We have a daughter.
“Oh, Derek.” Carly sniffles and my head turns back to my wife. I cup her face with my hands.
“Are you all right? What hurts?” Fear steals my breath.
“We have a daughter,” she chokes out as tears fall from her eyes. I wipe them with my thumbs.
“Our baby girl. I’m so proud of you, mama. I love you.” I kiss her forehead, then her lips.
“Would you like to hold her?” Nurse Chelsea appears, our beautiful baby swaddled in a blanket.
“Yes!” we both answer, then laugh a little.
“Mama goes first,” I murmur. Carly holds our baby and the moment burns, physically hurts, it’s so perfect, so complete. My family. My girls. I lean my hip onto the bed the best I can and reach one arm behind Carly, the other over our baby. I’m the luckiest man in the entire universe.
“What should we name her?” I ask. We’ve talked names but both agreed to be surprised and not find out the gender until the birth. We both wanted to meet our child before adorning her with a name.
“What about Luisa?” Carly looks up through her lashes, eyes glistening. I nod and stare in wonder at our child.
“I think Luisa is perfect.” I lean down and kiss her tiny forehead. Her brow furrows from the touch and it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever witnessed. “Luisa Hope?” I say.
“You don’t want to use your mom’s name for the middle?” my wife asks.
I caress the soft skin of Luisa’s arm and meet Carly’s gaze. “No. I want to move forward. My mom got to meet you and the boys before she passed on, and that’s more than I ever wanted. You, us, our family, has brought me nothing but hope, besides . . .” I grin. “My mother hated her given name.”
Carly nods, gazing down at the baby. “Luisa Margarita Taylor would be a mouthful.”
My mom passed away almost two years ago, and while I miss her, I don’t miss her suffering, and the struggles that living with Alzheimer’s brings. As sad as it sounds, I was relieved. I like to think that she’s at peace, and with my brother David, looking down on us from wherever that may be. My skin covers in gooseflesh. Luisa’s lips pull into a grin in her sleep.
“Did you see that?” Carly coos. “She just smiled. Hours old and she’s already smiling.”
“I saw it, too,” I murmur. My lips pull into a smile that almost hurts. I have the distinct feeling my mom and brother are the cause of that smile. Sharing in this moment with us.
“Luisa Hope. Welcome to the world, my sweet baby girl,” I say. “You ready to meet your brothers?”
“Yes, she is.” Carly grins.
I go to the door and open it wide. The troops have been patiently waiting. We called them as soon as she was born and they eagerly assembled.
“Mama!” Eli darts around me and goes straight to his mom’s side, his eyes bright and excited. Ezra hangs back and glances between me and his mom.
“Is Mama okay, Dad?” God, I still love it when he calls me that. He and Eli mutually decided to do so the day I married Carly. It’s an honor and role I don’t take lightly.
Ezra continues to hang back in the room. I cup his neck and scoot him forward. He just turned eleven but is as smart as most adults, and worries like one also. I mess his hair.
“She’s good, Ez. Go meet your sister.”
“Sister!” His eyes widen and he strides to the bed where Luisa lays on her back atop Carly’s outstretched legs.
“Congrats, bro.” Tate walks inside and slaps my back before embracing me in a hug.
“Thanks, Tate. Thanks for keeping the boys.”
Evie hugs me next. “Thanks, Evie.”
“I’m so happy for you guys.” Her eyes glisten and she wipes at her face. “Sorry, hormones.” Then rubs her tiny bump. She’s not due for another five months.
“They were good for you, I hope? It wasn’t too much.”
“Are you kidding? Those boys are so good and spoil me rotten. The only one who didn’t like it was Jon, but only because he had to do all the admin work while I took a few days off. He’s going to be so lost when I go on maternity leave.” She rolls her eyes.
“He’ll be fine,” Tate says, and kisses the top of her head. “You have months to find a good temp, and you can always quit if it’s too much.”
“Quit?” She turns and blinks up at him. Oh, shit. I know that face. Don’t tell a woman what to do. And especially
don’t tell a pregnant woman what she can or can’t do. I’ve just finished an entire nine months of that song and dance. Tate’s made a rookie mistake. I shake my head behind Evie’s form and back away slowly. Tate’s eyes widen at Evie and then up at me.
“I’m not going to quit the business I’ve spent the last four years building just because I’m having our child!” Her hands go to her hips.
“Of course not, baby. I just want you to know I’ll support you in whatever you decide to do. I’ve always been proud of Harper and Beltran. That doesn’t change just because you’re the mother of my child.” At his words her stance softens.
“She’s so tiny, Mama,” Elijah says from the bed and Evie’s gaze snaps over to the baby, homing in on the real reason for their visit. She strides to Carly’s side to join in the admiration of Luisa. Another knock sounds from the door as it’s pushed open.
“Kate! Jon!” I laugh. “You guys didn’t have to come, too.”
“The hell we didn’t. I need to see that baby.” Kate huffs, tosses her blonde hair over one shoulder, and cradles their son on her other hip.
“Come here, Will. Give your mom a break.” Jon pulls their toddler from Kate’s arms, ignoring the child’s wails in protest. Jon kisses the top of Kate’s head. “My beautiful, sexy wife.”
She scowls, rolls her eyes, and rubs her protruding belly. “You’re a liar, Army. There’s nothing sexy about being nine months preggo.” She turns on her heel and Jon slaps her ass. She looks back, eyes wide.
“Shut your mouth. You’re so goddamn sexy, I can’t wait to get you alone.”
“Get a room!” Evie calls from Carly’s side. Kate waddles over to the women and children and joins in the gushing and cooing.
In this moment, surrounded by our little circle of family and friends, my soul sings with joy, my heart taps to the beat of goodness, and I memorize just how it feels to witness so much love in one place at one single moment in time.
“You ready to take this nugget home to our boys?” I click our daughter’s car seat into the base. She’s sleeping soundly and doesn’t even blink at the jarring movement.