Thug Matrimony

by Wahida Clark

  “Red, nothing.”

  “So, you just gonna let a nigga get blue balls?”

  She laughed. “I ain’t fuckin’ with you like that, nigga. Shit, I’m horny too. but the issues that we didn’t know we had, we need to tackle them and dead them muthafuckas. And I don’t know why the fuck you thinking with your dick. Us fucking is not going to address our issues.”

  “I know, baby, but I don’t even know where to began to make shit right between us. I know I fucked up.”

  “Yes, you did, nigga, but we don’t have time to deal with that now. We have to meet with those artists in approximately forty-five minutes. And I need to freshen up.”

  “Damn, Red, that’s fucked up. You can’t just forgive a nigga?” He grabbed her.

  “Umh. Maybe, I’ll think about it. Matter of fact, hold that thought. We got a lot to work through.” She broke free, grabbed her panties and the rest of her belongings, and headed for her own office.

  Chapter 7

  It was Friday at the offices of Game Over Records and Kaylin just walked into Angel’s office and took a seat on the couch. She was going over a contract for two new Reggaeton artists, Papi Chulo and Suavecito Rico. She also had a phone glued to her left ear and their accountant, Tim Cohen, was standing next to her desk waiting patiently to get some signatures from her.

  Her office was a little bigger than Kaylin’s. She had a walk-in closet and a shower in the bathroom. The color scheme was gold and black and smelled like coconuts.

  Kaylin leaned his head back and rested his eyes. MTV2 was muted on the large plasma flat screen while Wendy Williams, the HOT97 radio diva, gossip queen blazed in the background.

  Dashae, the personal assistant, stuck her head inside the door. “Miss Angel, can I get you anything?”

  Angel shook her head no as she swiveled around, turning her back to everyone, while still talking on the phone.

  “Yeah. You can get her one of those pineapple smoothies that she likes and a Subway grilled chicken on wheat, mustard, lettuce, and tomatoes,” Kaylin interjected.

  “Got chu.” Dashae left.

  Angel swiveled back around and shot an evil glare at Kaylin.

  He laid his head back and closed his eyes again.

  When Angel ended her call, she took the checks from Tim Cohen, looked them over along with the attachments, before signing them. She then gave him a pen and the folder back for Kaylin. Tim went over to him, who double-checked them before adding his signature and passing the folder back to Tim. He left as quietly as he entered, shutting the door behind him.

  “I ate already, Kaylin. Why did you order all of that food?” Angel snapped after she ended another call.

  “What? You ate a muffin and a boiled egg. That is not a meal.”

  “Kaylin, I also had a quart of milk, a glass of carrot juice, and a Caesar salad!”

  “Yo, just feed the baby, aiight? You are eating for two, remember?”

  “No. You heard the doctor say that I didn’t have to eat for two, Kaylin. That’s your rule. Anyways, we have this same conversation almost every day. I’m not going to starve our baby.”

  “You damned right you ain’t.”

  “Whatever, Kaylin, what’s eating you today? You’re getting on my nerves.”

  “Other than me not getting any pussy?”

  “Yeah, other than that,” Angel shot back with a laugh.

  “That cat Lil’E. I want him. This cat is a beast and lethal as fuck with his tongue. He’s been poppin’ up on mix tapes that he’s puttin’ out himself.

  “He’s also been calling into radio stations freestylin’ and shit, battling niggas and tearing them a new asshole. I want him on Game Over. And from what I hear he’s not even signed yet.”

  “Well, what’s stopping us?” Angel needed to know.

  Kaylin chuckled. “I can’t find him, neither can anyone else. No one knows what he looks like. It seems like he’s hiding on purpose just to fuck with people and shit. I guess to make his worth go up.”

  “Well, it’s obviously working. Look at you drooling at the mouth.”

  “Shit, turn up the radio, that’s him now.”

  Angel turned it up as Bobbi barged in, “Boss man, Lil’ E is on the radio.”

  Kaylin gave her the thumbs-up as they listened to Lil’E spit a bar and hang up. Kaylin couldn’t believe the stations were allowing him to get through whenever he wanted.

  “Oh, snap!” was all Angel could say when Lil’E finished. “Damn, baby. I see why you ready to send the posse out for him.” Angel thought about what she just said. “Why won’t you do that? If you want him that bad put somebody on him.”

  Kaylin sat there mulling her logic over for a few minutes. “I guess we could, huh?”

  “I got you.” Angel pressed the intercom button. “Bobbi, get Davina Ross of Ross, Ross and Davis on the line for me.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Bobbi answered.

  “So, what do you think about Papi Chulo and Suavecito Rico being our first Reggaeton artists?” Kaylin wanted to know.

  “Papi Chulo, I’m feelin’. Suavecito Rico, no!”

  “What do you wanna do?”

  “Scrap Suavecito Rico. I don’t even like the name.”

  “What about their quote unquote package deal?”

  “What about it? We still got three days to counteroffer or cancel. And I can tell that Papi Chulo will tell his agent to fuck off before he lets your offer pass him by. The cat is hungry.”

  “Aiight, then. If that’s the move, handle it.”

  Bobbi stuck her head in Angel’s door. “Miss Angel, Davina Ross said that she can squeeze you in today at three in her office or she can be over here tomorrow at eleven.”

  Angel looked at Kay and read his facial expression. “We’ll be there at three.”

  For the next fifteen minutes they kicked it back and forth about what they were going to do with Papi Chulo, New Day, and the possibility of purchasing a record label in Canada and how Puma would fit in.

  Dashae knocked on the door. “Come in,” Angel said.

  Dashae set the smoothie and Subway sandwich on the table. “Anything else?”

  “No, thank you,” Angel replied.

  “What about you, Mr. Santos?”

  “I’m straight, but tell Bobbi we’ll be leaving at two thirty and I need tomorrow’s meeting schedule on my desk before then.”

  “Baby, I’m coming back here after our meeting with Davina, so I’ll get that for you. Thanks, Dashae.” After Dashae closed the door Angel continued. “I’ll be here until seven.”

  “What do you have to do tonight? And come eat your food.” He stood up and went over to the table. He sipped her pineapple smoothie and set her grilled sandwich on the paper plate before pulling out a chair for her.

  She rolled her eyes and reluctantly got up from behind her desk.

  “What needs to be done tonight?” he asked again, motioning for her to sit down as he sliced her sandwich in half.

  “Double over Papi’s contract, let the manager know that Suavecito is a no go, look over the financials of the Canada acquisition … and I think that’s it. It’s only two hours, Kaylin.”

  “What about the budget for New Day’s video shoot?”

  “I put those numbers in your in-box this morning. Do we have enough press for them? I think they need more radio play, it’s like they’re teasing their fans,” Angel told him.

  “Shit, what artist couldn’t use more press and radio play? I’m on it, though,” Kaylin stated matter-of-factly.

  “What’s the A-and-R guy up to, Perry G? You like him?”

  “It’s only been three weeks, Red.”

  “Three weeks! All that jawing he was doing? All of them connections he’s supposed to have? All the people he knows? I need to see some results!” Angel wasn’t going for the bullshit.

  “Damn, I’ve created a monster,” Kaylin joked.

  “I’ll give him one more week. Then I think we should get someone else.
I like Jet and Aja, the brother and sister team. Them crackers at the label where they are ain’t paying them shit.” She paused to bite into her sandwich. “And, baby, stop being so charitable. I told you that nigga Perry G wasn’t right.”

  “I feel you. Now eat up. I told you that hiring Perry G was a favor I owed. Since he failed his probationary period, my debt is paid. They knew he was a loser, that’s why they dumped him off. We’ll give shorty another week and if he don’t produce we’ll holla at that sister and brother team. Two heads are always better than one.”

  The investigation offices of Ross, Ross & Davis always delivered. Their specialty was criminal law and private investigations. Davina Ross went to law school with Angel and they always kept in contact with each other. So it was not a problem when Angel requested her firm’s expertise. By the following Monday, Davina gave Angel a phone number for the mysterious Lil’E.

  Since Kaylin, Angel, and Tim Cohen had to take an unexpected trip to Canada, to meet with the owners of the small independent label, Touch Records, and since Angel’s mission was to look over their books and get a feel of the owners, she did that and left the following morning. Plus, she had the appointment with Planned Parenthood with Carmen. They assigned the meeting with Lil’E to the loud, obnoxious wannabe A&R bigshot Perry G. This was his test.

  Perry G and his two flunkies barged into Junior’s in Brooklyn as if they were the record label owners, not the employees. Perry G scanned the room and didn’t see a rapper who would look like a Lil’E. He heard Lil’E rap on the airwaves and no one fit the description that he had conjured up in that big little head of his. So what he did was get a table and order him and his crew a hefty dinner. He did, however, feel he needed to place a call into the office.

  “Game Over Records. This is Bobbi. How may I direct your call?”

  “Yo, this is Perry G. Put me through to the boss man,” he ordered.

  “Mr. Santos is out of town. What is this in reference to?”

  “If he’s out of town, why do you want to know?” Click. The line went dead. “That bitch hung up on me,” he yelled in disbelief as he dialed the office again.

  “Game Over Records. This is Bobbi. How may I direct your call?”

  “Why you hang up, yo?”

  “To teach you some manners. Now, allow me take you to school. I am the gatekeeper. Ninety percent of the goings-on in this office comes through me. Now let’s try this again. What is this call in reference to?”

  Perry G sighed and explained that he needed to talk to Kaylin because they were at the spot to meet Lil’E but he never showed.

  “Now, was that so hard?” She sucked her teeth. “Like I told you, the boss man is out of town. However, the boss lady is on standby. I know that she gave you her cell number, so I suggest that you use it. Have a good day.” Click

  “That bitch!” he yelled into the disconnected line. He pushed the speed-dial key for Angel.

  “Hello.”

  “Miss Angel, this is Perry G. How you doin’?”

  “What’s up?”

  “I’m at Junior’s and that dude Lil’E never showed.”

  “He didn’t?” Angel couldn’t mask her surprise. When she spoke to him, he didn’t sound like someone who wouldn’t show up for a big opportunity like this. “How long have you been waiting?”

  “For almost an hour,” he lied.

  “Aiight, sit tight. I’ll call you back.”

  “Cool.”

  Angel hung up, pulled over on the side of the road, and yanked out her day planner to get Lil’E's number.

  “Yeah,” Lil’E answered on the first ring.

  “Lil’E. This is Angel from Game Over. What’s good? You said Junior’s at four!”

  “I’m here, yo.” His raspy voice sounded excited. “I’ve been here. Nobody showed.”

  “Shit. Look around, see if you spot a high-yellow cat, flamboyant, he always has on a multicolored silk shirt and most likely has two young cats with him. One is dark-skinned and he—”

  “Yeah. I see ‘em. They just rolled in not too long ago.” E burst into laughter. “Yo, he works for you?”

  Angel laughed too. “Not really. But do me a favor, give me about forty minutes. Order whatever you want. You solo?”

  “Of course.”

  “Cool, enjoy your meal but don’t say anything to those three clowns. I’ll take care of them when I get there. Can you handle that?”

  “I got chu.”

  “That’s what’s up. Just tell the waitress you’re waiting on Angel Santos.” Angel immediately dialed Kaylin.

  “Baby, what’s good? You all right?” Kaylin asked his wife.

  Angel sighed. “You’re not going to believe this.”

  “What?” Kaylin asked in alarm. “Where are you?”

  “I just got back into the city. I took Carmen to Planned Parenthood, got her an exam and some birth control pills. Thank God she isn’t pregnant. But the drug test? That shit was a whole ‘nother story. This little hooker had coke, weed, and E all up in her piss. I am so fucking mad at her, Kaylin, I could scream.”

  “Yo, how did you handle it?” When she didn’t respond he snapped, “Red, you pregnant, Ma. You can’t be brawling and shit! You risking the baby’s life now! You gonna fuck around and I’ma lock your ass in the house and won’t let you come out!” he seethed.

  “Kaylin, calm down. I smacked her when we got back in the car, but we didn’t fight. I told her I was too angry to deal with her right then. I dropped her off and I left. Okay?”

  “Red, don’t make me—”

  “I heard you, Kaylin, damn. But check this out,” Angel continued. “Your boy Perry G calls me up and says that he’s been at Junior’s for an hour and Lil’E didn’t show up. So I calls him and I’m like what’s good? You said Junior’s at four, and guess what?”

  “What?”

  “Dude is sitting right there in Junior’s looking at Perry G and his flunkies. He said that they just got there. Just like we figured, he got a half-assed work ethic. That nigga was supposed to go to each patron and ask, ‘Your name Lil’E’ or sumthin?”

  “Aw, hell no. That nigga fuckin’ with my money like that?”

  “Baby, I told you he was all talk. But check it, I told him to order and sit tight, that I was on my way. And I’m getting ready to call Perry back and thank him for nothing.”

  “Yo, don’t say shit about him being out of a gig. I want that nigga to show up at the office so I can put my foot in his ass.”

  “Do you, Kay. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done with Lil’E.”

  “Yo, don’t be flirting with that lil’ rap nigga, neither.”

  “Whatever. Why not? You ain’t fuckin’ with me like that, remember? Besides, I need to find out if I still got it.”

  “Red, don’t get fucked up.”

  “Whatever.” Click

  “What the fuck?” Kaylin called back. “Yo, Red, don’t make me fuck ya up about that bullshit you spittin’.” Click He hung up, furious.

  Angel called Perry G and thanked him for showing up.

  Kaylin’s cell chimed as soon as he hung up with Angel. “Yo.”

  “Big money, this me, Pras.”

  “What’s brewin’ down in the MIA?” Kaylin asked his and Trae’s homey from way back.

  “Yo, nigga. I think this the break you been having a hard-on for. Check it. I’m hearing shit about some new player with a snakeskin patch on his eye.”

  “Word?” This news caused Kaylin to stand up.

  “But the only reason I’m not sure if this is yo’ man is you said the cat’s name is Snake. But this cat said his name, and you ain’t gonna believe this, son.”

  “Nigga, spit it out!”

  “He said his name is K, yo.” You could hear a pin drop. Pras broke the silence. “Man, this nigga is either crazy as fuck or you got the wrong cat. But check it, we still on it. But I figured you wanted an update. You know I got chu, just say when.”

  “Aiight,
nigga. You know what it is.”

  “All day and all night.” Pras was gone.

  Kaylin hung up, saying, “What the fuck?”

  When Angel walked into Junior’s, she told the waitress that she was Angel Santos and that she had a party of one waiting on her. The waitress motioned for her to follow her. As usual Perry G stood out like a sore thumb.

  “Excuse me. Just point me to my party please. I need to say sumthin to these gentlemen right here.”

  The waitress pointed to a small boy with a hoodie over his head. “Right there.”

  “Thank you.” Angel flashed a smile at her.

  When Perry G looked up and saw Angel standing in front of him he began to stutter. “M-M-Miss A-Angel. What are you doing here?” He tried to get himself together.

  “I was hoping to meet Lil’E. But since he is a no show, I might as well get me sumthin to eat.” She looked at the empty dishes. “If you guys are done now I’ll take care of the tab.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, we’re done.” Perry G stood up and his sidekicks, an Omar Epps reject and an older cat who resembled Danny Glover, followed suit. Perry G wasn’t about to pass up a free meal.

  “Thanks for coming,” she told them, wanting them to leave.

  “No problem. It’s my job,” Perry said as he handed the bill to Angel. “I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”

  She smirked as she watched them leave. Angel headed over to Lil’E. Her stomach growled as her tastebuds and senses smelled French fries and fried chicken.

  When she arrived at the table Angel said to Lil’E, whose back was turned, “Excuse me. I’m Angel, are you—”

  “I’m Lil’E.” She tossed her hoodie back. Lil’E was a female … rockin’ blond braids and blue eyes.

  Chapter 8

  “Oh, shit!” was all Angel could get out. Lil’E sat there with a smirk on her face.

  “You’re Lil’E?” Lil’E mocked because she knew Angel was shocked.

  “Well, are you?” Angel couldn’t help but smile. Lil’E nodded yes. “Get the fuck outta here!” Angel had to take a seat.

  This was indeed a surprise. Angel motioned for the waitress. “Can I have two slices of pineapple cheesecake, a plate of fries, and a mocha cappuccino?” She looked over at Lil’E and asked, “You straight?”