Not enough at stake. The issue doesn't seem important enough to deserve a story, either to the readers or to the characters. A difference between two teachers about how to run a classroom, or a quarrel between parents about whether their little girl should wear jeans or dresses, isn't likely to keep the readers up at night to find out what happens.
Unrelated disasters. Throwing in earthquakes, car accidents, broken bones, etc. — unless they are actually related to the main story — fills space but doesn't develop conflict or advance the plot. Does every incident move the story forward? Does every incident have a connection to the characters' goals?
Main characters whose every conversation consists of getting-to-know-each-other, first-date talk. If the only thing the main characters have to chat about is pets and jobs, there may not be enough of a problem between them.
The hero and heroine aren't realistic and sympathetic characters, or they aren't behaving in realistic ways. If your heroine's past experience with the Other Woman has shown that the Other Woman is a liar, but the heroine believes her anyway, then your main character is not only illogical but downright aggravating.
If your hero and heroine act on their very first meeting as if they've known and hated each other for years, they're not believable characters. If they behave badly toward each other throughout the story without overwhelming reason, they're not sympathetic. If they show nothing but distaste for each other throughout the book but then fall into each other's arms on the last page, their chances of lasting happiness are not convincing.
Symptoms of this malady include:
A heroine you wouldn't want to befriend. If she isn't someone you'd want to hang out with, odds are your readers won't either. You may know that, down deep, your heroine is really a sweetheart, but if she spends all of chapter one shrieking at her mother, the readers will see an unsympathetic, unpleasant woman.
A hero you wouldn't want to be married to. (Notice that I didn't say “a hero you wouldn't fall in love with.” Being attracted to someone is one thing, but he has to be more than handsome and sexy to have lasting appeal.) If he's angry, have the readers seen convincing reasons for his anger? Can the readers empathize with the character's emotions? Does the bad boy show a balance of characteristics, or is he so dangerous that a sensible woman would run?
Characters who are out of balance. If the hero is aggressive and the heroine weak, or the heroine is pushy and the hero passive, the story is apt to trail off. In a good pairing of characters, the hero and heroine will be roughly equal in strength and assertiveness.
Telling the readers about the characters rather than showing them in action. If the characters are not realistic, sympathetic, and believable, it will be difficult to bring them to life — and thus easier to write about them than to show them interacting.
Unmotivated opposition. The hero shouldn't try to prevent the heroine from getting what she wants (or vice versa) simply to be nasty. Both characters are more sympathetic if there's a good reason for their opposition to each other.
A wandering or unclear viewpoint. It's hard to take in more than one character's thoughts at a time, especially if it isn't clear to the readers whose head they're supposed to be in. The result of an unclear viewpoint is often a lack of sympathy for all the characters.
Too much internalization. The readers hear all about the character's thoughts — more than they want to — but they don't have any real reason to care.
Cutting sarcasm, or arguments that are filled with anger to the exclusion of opinions, logic, and respect. When name-calling takes the place of discussion, it's hard to like any of the people involved.
There isn't anything forcing the main characters to stay in the situation. If he dislikes her (even though he thinks she has a great body) and she detests him (even though he's quite a hunk), there isn't anything preventing one or the other from just walking away. What makes it necessary for them to stay in contact long enough to discover that their attraction to each other is really love? If you can't state in one sentence the reason your hero and heroine need each other, that reason needs redefining.
Symptoms of this malady include:
A hero and heroine who have very little to say to each other. If there's something forcing them to stay together, they'll have that issue to talk about. If they're talking about nothing, maybe they need more of a reason to be together in the first place.
Characters who are motivated to oppose each other by petty irritation rather than by real disagreement. Are they just sniping at each other rather than discussing a substantial problem? If they pick at each other rather than talk about opinions and feelings and events, there may be no reason for them to be together.
Characters who are too cozy and comfortable together. If they get along so well, what's keeping them from solving the main problem?
A hero and heroine who are often separated instead of in the same physical space. When they're not together, there's no interaction — so the lack of something to talk about may not be obvious. And if they're not together, perhaps it's because there's no reason for them to spend time with each other.
The romance is not kept at the heart of the book. The other parts of the novel — the mystery of the missing money, the child in need, the past history of hero or heroine, the subplot involving secondary characters — are sometimes more fun and are often easier to write than the immediate interaction between the main characters.
But the readers want to see a developing relationship — fondness, trust, liking — between the characters. The rest of the story, important though it is, serves as the background for the romance.
Symptoms of this malady include:
Main characters who don't seem to have anything to talk about. People who are interested in each other will be asking questions, exploring opinions, and finding out more about the other person.
Main characters who argue rather than just talk. Even characters who are very much opposed to each other will — if they're honestly interested in each other — try to find some common ground, something they can talk about without arguing.
A hero and heroine often separated by the circumstances of the plot. If the hero and heroine are apart, thinking about each other rather than being actively involved, their feelings for each other can't develop.
Overly complex plots. Too many events or too much space spent explaining the details of subplots means less time for the developing relationship.
Too many people in the scenes. If the hero and heroine aren't alone together, it's more difficult for their feelings to develop. Even in a packed auditorium you can isolate your two main characters; move them off to a corner, or let them carry on a whispered private exchange while surrounded by other people.
Scenes that veer off track. Side issues become more important than the main story, and everybody — author, characters, and readers — forgets what the point of the scene was. Or the family history and in-depth views of secondary characters distract readers from the main story.
Interference by other characters. Whether the interference is intended to create trouble between the hero and heroine or bring them together, it takes the focus off the main relationship. The hero and heroine should solve their own problems.
The story simply isn't well told. You haven't put words on the page in a spellbinding way. Perhaps you're summarizing your story, telling instead of showing. Or the sentences may simply be unclear, so the readers have to deduce or interpret what you mean. You may show the action in the wrong order, confusing the readers. Or maybe you're showing only part of the scene, leaving out details necessary for the readers' understanding. For whatever reason, the actual words on the paper do not convey to the readers the images you saw as you wrote.
Symptoms of this malady include:
Slow starts. The first chapter might consist of the heroine reflecting on her past and what has brought her to this stage in her life. If you start with action instead, you give the readers a reason to care about the character
; then they'll sit still to hear about the roots of the problem.
Peaceful endings. Chapters or scenes that end with the heroine drifting off to sleep without a care are wonderful places for the readers to do the same thing.
Rushed dramatic action. Watch out for words and phrases like later, after a few minutes, when she'd had a chance to think it over, and other indications that the readers are being told rather than shown what happened.
Low emotional levels. When the story events and characters are not emotionally compelling, the readers find it difficult to care whether the hero and heroine get what they want.
Wandering viewpoints. The POV shifts back and forth for no good reason, or it's difficult even to figure out who the viewpoint character is.
Random dialogue. Instead of relaying important information, the dialogue focuses on everyday detail — lots of instances of hello and good-bye and How do you like your coffee?
One-sided characters. It's easy to show the difficult, angry side of a character and assume the readers will know that the guy's really delightful underneath — because after all, he's the hero.
Below-standard grammar, spelling, word usage, and mechanics. Anything that takes the readers' attention off the story and forces them to figure out what the author really meant makes it easier for them to put the book down.
DIAGNOSING THE PROBLEMS
If you can, put your story away for a few days — even a few weeks — before you start to revise. When you read it again after a break, you'll be better able to judge what works and what doesn't. And you'll be more likely to see whether the words on the page actually evoke the meaning you intended to share with your readers.
When it's time to take a look at what you've written, to figure out what's working and what isn't, and to create a plan of attack for revising, use the checklist below as you reread your work.
This in-depth checklist covers all the main sections of the romance novel and will help you spot areas where you've lost the thread of your story, told too much too soon, or left out crucial information or steps in the development of the plot or relationship. You can use this list at any stage in the writing process to help keep you on track, or as a guideline when you've finished the manuscript.
The more you can distance yourself from your story and pretend that someone else wrote it, the better this checklist will work for you. Try pretending that you're a book reviewer and you will have to give not only your reaction to the story but the reasons for your opinions.
How does the story start? What do the readers know about the main character by the end of chapter one? What do the readers not know and want to? What do the readers know that they don't need or want to?
How many pages into the book does the plot action begin? When do the readers meet the second main character?
What forces the hero and heroine to stay in the situation? If being around each other makes them unhappy, why doesn't one of them just go away?
What keeps the hero and heroine apart? Could their disagreement be solved if they sat down for a real conversation?
Is the conflict personal? Sympathetic? Important to the characters and the readers? Can the readers picture themselves or someone they love caught up in a similar difficulty?
Is the disagreement between the main characters strong enough to keep them apart despite their attraction?
How much do the readers know about what both the hero and heroine are thinking? At what point in the story do the readers know that the heroine is seriously interested in the hero? At what point in the story do the readers know that the hero is seriously interested in the heroine? After this point, is the excitement level in the story maintained, or does it drop off?
Do the readers get to savor the excitement? Listen to the arguments? Watch the action? Or is the dramatic potential of the story summarized?
By the halfway point of the book, have the readers met all the major secondary characters? If all the characters haven't actually appeared on stage, have you told the readers about them?
How many secondary characters are there? Can some of them be eliminated or combined? Can some of them be reduced to labels — the waitress, the receptionist — instead of names and descriptions? How much do the readers know about secondary characters, and is this information important to the story?
Are the main characters' actions and words consistent with their personalities, their professions, their upbringing, and their previous experiences?
Is the POV consistent throughout the story? If a second or third POV is used, does it appear early and with some regularity throughout the story? Do the points of view of secondary characters creep in where they shouldn't?
Does each scene and each chapter begin by setting up the location and time frame, identifying the viewpoint character, and creating an interesting hook? Does each scene and each chapter end at a point of interest, where the readers will find it difficult to stop reading?
Of the total number of pages in the manuscript, how many show the hero and heroine interacting together? How many show them in the same room but not interacting?
What is the longest time (in page count) that the hero and heroine are separated?
Do the readers see a relationship developing between hero and heroine? How much time — how many pages — do they spend kissing, flirting, making love? Fighting? Just talking? Do the hero and heroine get cozy too quickly?
Are the love scenes appropriate to the type of romance? To the personalities of the characters? To their circumstances (for instance, to the amount of privacy the couple has)?
Is sexual tension maintained throughout the story? When do the readers see attraction between the characters? Is the sexual tension diminished or increased by the love scenes?
Do the main characters themselves bring about the ending without the interference or manipulation of other characters? How do they do so?
Is the ending satisfying? Are the good guys rewarded and the bad guys punished? Are all the loose ends tied up and all the puzzles solved?
IN REVIEW: Practicing With the Checklist
Answer the checklist questions for one of the romance novels you've read. Analyzing another author's book will help you to understand how the author structured her book, and why. It will also help you see how the checklist questions can be applied to your own work.
REVISING
Revising your work is easier if you approach it as a completely separate step from writing. Everyone's working style is slightly different, but here are some things to keep in mind as you're writing the first draft — things that may make the eventual revision go more easily:
Write straight through your project, without stopping to revise. Reading through what you wrote in the previous session can help you warm up and get started again. Noting typos or inconsistencies as you read is fine, but try not to get caught up in making major changes.
Make note of potential changes. If you think of something that should have been included in chapter two, but you're already in chapter four, write yourself a note and put it in a separate file to consult when you get to the revision stage. If you go back to actually do the work, you'll lose forward momentum — and you may find in the end that the brilliant new idea wasn't as good as it seemed.
Just write the story. Don't fret about finding exactly the right comparison, and don't worry about making every single line of dialogue sparkle. That's what second drafts are for. Nobody but you will see the first draft (unless you choose to share it), so it doesn't matter if it's not up to publishable standards.
THE REVISER's SELF-HELP TOOL KIT
What works for one writer isn't always the best solution for another. But here's a basic plan for you to consider and try, and then adapt to suit your working style:
Give yourself a break. Don't try to write and edit in the same session. The two jobs are very different, and trying to switch back and forth can drive you crazy and make you think there's something wrong with a section that in fact is perfectly fine.
Give it a rest. Let your writing sit for a few days, if you can — without looking at it — before you try to decide what's good and not-so-good about it. The more distance you gain from the writing, the more able you'll be to look at it strictly from the readers' perspective.
Work on a hard copy. A rare few people can edit efficiently on the computer screen, but for most of us the words have more reality when they're printed on paper. Working from a hard copy makes it easier to flip back and forth to compare or to review changes you've already made. Hard copy feels more final and more important — and typos and other errors stand out more clearly on paper than on the screen.
Read it fast. When in doubt about whether a story is working, lock up your pens and just read it straight through. The goal is to absorb the whole story so inconsistencies and plot holes can't elude you. (I often take the manuscript onto the treadmill. Since I can't make notes while I'm walking, I'm forced to just read, without fiddling and getting distracted by details.) After you've finished reading, think about how you reacted as a reader to your book.
On Writing Romance Page 30