Songs of the Soul

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Songs of the Soul Page 4

by Mary Manners


  Cade considered the fact that both his parents were gone, Brooke’s too. And Joe. So much time had already been lost, and there was no promise of tomorrow.

  “Jayden deserves to know the truth, Brooke.”

  “I know. But it’s…hard.”

  “I won’t hurt him.”

  “I wish I could believe that.” She lifted her gaze to meet his. Tears brimmed her eyes. “I want to believe it. Can we give it some time?”

  Cade carried her hurt as if it was his own. He softened his tone. “How much time?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. As long as it takes.”

  “I’ll agree to that—at least until the revival is over. If the right time hasn’t presented itself by then, we’ll do it…together.” He leaned in and brushed the tears from her cheek. “In the meantime, I’ll pick you and Jayden up tomorrow for church; then afterwards I’d like you both to come over so we can have dinner together.”

  A shock of laughter bubbled up. “And how, exactly, are you going to manage to cook dinner in that wreck of a kitchen? You have no stove…no oven…not even a refrigerator.”

  “But I have a grill and a cooler. And by this time tomorrow the deck repairs will be done. Trust me, sweetheart, you won’t leave hungry.”

  But she might very well leave him hungry—for more than steak and potatoes.

  6

  Cade arrived to Brooke’s house Sunday morning with a bouquet of wildflowers and a smile. Both melted her heart even as hornets swarmed along her ribs. The contradiction left her breathless because she had no idea where this was headed—or if she even wanted to go along for the ride.

  “Hey, sweetheart.” He handed her the flowers and then leaned in to kiss her forehead. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” She sucked in a breath. OK, maybe she’d strap in and coast for a bit. What could it hurt?

  She’d decided, after much deliberation, on her favorite floral sundress paired with a baby blue shrug and strappy sandals she’d purchased on a whim just last week. “You clean up pretty good yourself.”

  “Better than yesterday’s guitar T-shirt?”

  “Much.” But the shirtless look, that would work, too. She forced the thought aside, and focused instead on Jayden. They were two days out from the revival. Then a quick three days before it ended. The reality of what loomed on the horizon hit like a punch to the gut.

  “Jayden and I have a surprise for you today,” Cade murmured.

  “I don’t think I can take any more surprises.”

  “No worries. I think you’ll like this one.” He grinned as mischief twinkled in his eyes. “Count on it.”

  The twinkle took her back to the time she’d loved him more than life itself. She was tumbling again…slipping into the sweet, warm place that coaxed her into imagining they might once again share a future together.

  Jayden came loping in from the hallway just then. “Hey, Cade. How’s it going?”

  “Can’t complain.” Cade offered a fist bump, as if it was the most natural gesture in the world. “You have your music?”

  “Uh huh.” A conspiratorial wink pass between them. “I just need to grab my guitar and I’m ready.”

  The sweet warmth turned frigid as a thread of worry zigzagged through Brooke. What would Jayden think when he learned the truth about her past? Would he doubt her…think her less of a mother?

  “Good. Go load it while I help your mom put these flowers in some water.” Cade tossed Jayden the car keys. “Go ahead and crank up the engine, too. It’s already hot out there, and the air conditioning will feel good if it has a minute or two to get going.”

  “Cool.” Jayden jangled the keys. “Thanks.”

  He was off like a shot. “Nice work.” Brooke fought for levity as she plastered on a smile. She patted Cade’s chest. “Next thing you know, he’ll want to take your truck out for a joyride.”

  “It’s a teenage boy’s dream.”

  “And a danger to self and community at age thirteen.”

  “He’ll have a permit in another what—eighteen months?”

  “Nineteen, thank-you-very-much. Let’s not rush it.” Brooke peeked through the window as Jayden loaded his guitar into the trunk and then made his way to the driver’s side. “That’s still a long ways away. I’m not ready to even consider it.”

  “Jayden’s in the driveway, Brooke. The truck’s in PARK, and that’s how it’s going to stay until we get out there and I’m behind the wheel.”

  “You obviously don’t know the draw of four wheels and an engine to a thirteen-year-old boy.”

  “Excuse me, but I was that thirteen-year-old boy.”

  “And you plowed your dad’s Chevy into the side of the barn. Remember that, Mr. Cool?”

  “Right…well…” He grinned ruefully. “Are we having our first argument over raising Jayden?”

  “I guess we are. It’s the first and probably not the last.”

  “I’m OK with that. It’s progress.”

  The engine roared as Jayden gunned the gas with the car still in PARK. A moment later the radio blared.

  Spotlighting a Cade Lockridge ballad, of course.

  “OK, you win this one.” Cade did a quick about face. “I’d better head out there.”

  “Um, yes.” Brooke would have laughed, except out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jayden messing with the dash controls. “Sooner rather than later. I’ll put these in water and meet you in a minute.”

  “Can I get a kiss for good luck?”

  She hesitated, weighing the pros and cons. Was this new and improved version of Cade going to stick? There was only one way to find out. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his cheek. “How’s that?”

  “Good for a warmup.”

  “Ha. Right.” She pressed a palm to his jaw. “Um, Cade?”

  “Yes?”

  “When you get to the car—and to Jayden—be strong. Be fearless. You’re a dad now.” She pecked his nose with her index finger. “You’re. A. Dad.”

  ~*~

  Later that afternoon the steaks were grilled to perfection, the baked potatoes infused with buttery flavor. Cade had delivered on his promise. Brooke was pleasantly sated, even a little dreamy-feeling. She could use a power nap—or a hot cup of coffee.

  Cade must have read her mind, because he appeared with a steaming mug doctored just the way she liked it—black.

  “Sorry, I’m out of cream and sugar.” He handed her the mug and settled into the seat beside her. The glider moved into motion with a tap of his foot, swaying them gently. “Well, technically I’m not out, because I never got around to buying it in the first place.”

  “Good thing I’m a no frills sort of caffeine fiend.”

  “Whew, that’s a relief. I wasn’t sure, since you never drank the stuff…before.”

  “It became an acquired habit after Jayden was born. All those sleepless nights made it a good fit and practically a necessity.” She sipped, sighed. “Perfect. Just like this deck, Cade. I wouldn’t have imagined it could look so beautiful.”

  He’d somehow managed to lay the boards and add stylish furniture as well as several planters overflowing with lavender and crimson wave petunias, all in the course of the past twenty-four hours.

  “Have I made a believer out of you yet?”

  “I’m getting there.” She sighed and leaned back in the seat, allowing her shoulder to rest against his. Tiny curled at her feet. “This is nice. And the creek…it adds a certain ambiance. I could get used to this.”

  “Yeah?” He smoothed her hair back as a breeze kissed her face. “I like the sound of that.”

  “Jayden told me you asked him to help you get this place in order over summer vacation.”

  “Yes. I hope that’s OK.”

  “Oh, it is. You know the saying…it’s better to stay busy than stay in trouble.”

  “Right. I figured I’d teach him more than the guitar, pass down what my dad taught me.

  He’s pret
ty stoked.”

  “He’s been stoked about a lot of things lately. I’ve seen a change in him since you started coming around, Cade. A positive change.” She eyed him over the rim of the cup. “Which begs me to ask, what brought you back to Cedar Ridge?”

  “I’m not really sure.” He plucked a piece of lint from his khakis. “I just felt this sort of pull, like a tug of war deep inside. I didn’t understand it…until I saw you again. Until I met Jayden. Now, I know. It was you, Brooke. Both of you. I have unfinished business here, and I aim to make things right between us, whatever it takes.”

  Tears sprang to her eyes. She quickly swiped them away as Jayden stepped onto the deck with his guitar in one hand and Cade’s acoustic in the other.

  “Hey, Mom…Cade and I have a surprise for you.” He handed Cade his guitar, then settled into a chair a few feet away, facing Brooklyn. “I hope you like it. We’ve been working hard on it.”

  “Oh, wow.” Her breath caught as he strummed the strings with confidence. Cade joined in and their rhythm quickly melded. Cade sat back and let Jayden take the singing lead before joining in, his voice rich and smoky. The harmony blended smoothly, as if they shared the same voice.

  The same DNA.

  Brooklyn didn’t recognize the words, and soon realized the song was original. She choked back a sob as Jayden lit up before her eyes. His smile, his pride, resonated. Pure beauty. True happiness.

  A tsunami of emotions swept through. Thankfulness that Jayden had finally come into his own. Happiness that he’d found a passion.

  And fear that this newfound infatuation would entice him down the same path Cade had traveled. A path of success—and heartache.

  7

  The first two nights of revival went off without a hitch—at least in the sanctuary. The kindergarten classroom was a whole different story. Thankfully, not a single injury had been logged and every kid in attendance seemed to be having a great time.

  The fun had concluded for the evening, and the kids had been collected by their parents. The room was in disaster mode for the second night in a row, but there was nothing that couldn’t be put back to rights with a little elbow grease and a good attitude.

  Tonight’s message had been so uplifting—what Brooke could gather from it over the loudspeaker that filtered into the classroom, at least.

  She sighed as she plucked bits of construction paper from the carpet and tossed them into the trash can.

  “You should have warned me.” Cade lobbed glue sticks—what remained of them—into a gallon sized zipper bag for reuse the next evening. “Wrangling five-year-olds is a whole lot harder than playing packed-house concerts.”

  “You think?”

  “Um, yes.” He raked a hand through his disheveled hair and then swiped at paint smudges slathered across the thigh of his khakis. They refused to budge, yet he’d never looked more handsome—at least by Brooke’s way of thinking. “Harder than just about anything else I’ve ever attempted over the course of my life. I think I feel a”—he feigned a coughing fit—“cold coming on.”

  “Sure you do. Buck up, little camper. The fun will continue. We still have another night to go.”

  One more night’s reprieve before they told Jayden the whole story about his parentage. Brooke trembled at the thought. How would he take the news? Would he think less of her for her transgression so many years ago, an act that had resulted in his birth—the most treasured event of her life?

  “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

  “About what?”

  He gave her The Look. “You’re worried.”

  “How can I not worry? Jayden’s my son.”

  “He’s my son, too.” Cade tucked the glue sticks onto a shelf. “And I want everything to go smoothly. I wish this was behind us.”

  “Me, too.”

  “It will all work out.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I just…do.” He sighed. “Brooke, do you regret that night…regret what happened between us?”

  “It was just that once, Cade.”

  “I know. I remember.”

  Her cheeks heated. “No, I don’t regret it. Would I do things differently at this point in my life, with a good bit of hindsight and wisdom under my belt? Yes, definitely. But I wouldn’t trade Jayden—or my life up to this point—for anything in the world.”

  “That makes me feel a little bit better.” He kept his hands busy by organizing the supplies on a shelf. “Because I was a jerk. I should have never let you go.”

  “If you’d held onto me, you wouldn’t be Cade Lockridge, country superstar.”

  “We could have made it work. Together, we would have surely found a way.”

  “Maybe. But we were both young and foolish. And stubborn. And more than a little bit self-centered. I’d like to think I’ve grown since then, and learned a whole bushelful from my mistakes.”

  “Me, too.” He was quiet for a moment. “It’s been a trip, an honor, making it to the top in the music industry. But if I could go back and do it all over again, sweetheart, I’d choose you.”

  Brooke forced the lump back from her throat as she tugged a full trash bag from its container. Tears stung her eyes. “Walk me to the dumpster?”

  “Sure.” He took the bag from her and hoisted it over his shoulder before reaching for her hand. “I can’t imagine a more romantic invitation.”

  She went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

  “What’s that for?” he asked.

  “For what you just said. It was sweet.” She sniffled. “And for helping me tonight. You didn’t have to.”

  “I made a promise.”

  “And you kept it. I appreciate that.”

  “You’d be surprised the number of promises I keep these days.”

  “Oh? How many?”

  “All of them.”

  They wound their way through the deserted hallway, around to the back of the building and through double doors. Outside, a near-full moon cast long, veiled shadows over the parking lot. Voices filtered from the side yard, where Jayden tossed a football with two of his friends from the youth praise band.

  “The kids did a good job performing the worship music tonight, thanks to you.” Brooklyn crossed over to the dumpster area. “Their confidence has grown by leaps and bounds. You’ve really made an impression on them.”

  “They’re eager to learn, and they really need something to call their own…something positive. The band offers that.”

  “I heard chatter that several of the kids who visited tonight showed interest in joining up.”

  “I hope they will. The more, the better. The seasoned players will help the novice, and the cycle will continue. That’s the plan, at least.”

  “It’s a good plan.”

  Cade lobbed the trash bag into the dumpster and then surprised Brooklyn by gathering her in close.

  “How about a dance?”

  “Here?” Laughter bubbled up. “By the dumpster?”

  He drew her over to the opposite curb and then up onto the grass and beneath the shelter of the pavilion. “How’s this?”

  “Um…I don’t hear any music.”

  He began to hum, low and throaty. The melody ignited a flame in the pit of her belly. As he pulled her close, pressing his palm to the small of her back, that flame ignited every nerve ending.

  “I always loved dancing with you, Brooke. I hoped it would never end.”

  “It didn’t have to.”

  “Then why did you walk away?”

  “Because I was afraid that I wasn’t enough for you…not enough to keep you happy. You had stars in your eyes, Cade. You had a dream, and it didn’t include me. You achieved that dream, but now you’ve left it behind for…this?” She stepped back and swept her hand across the lot. “Five-year-olds with glue sticks, a run-down house that needs a life saving’s worth of repairs, and a small town that wasn’t nearly enough to hold you before.”

  “And a woman I love. A future wi
th her…hopefully.” He kissed her. “And a son. Let’s not forget that part. Jayden’s my son.”

  The strangled cry startled them. Brooke and Cade spun to find Jayden haloed in the glow of a nearby security light, gaping. He’d gone starkly pale.

  “What did you say?” His voice rang shaky, hollow.

  “Jayden, hang on a minute.” Brooke took a step toward him. “Let me explain.”

  “Don’t.” He swung to Cade. “Is it the truth? I’m your son? You’re…you’re my father?”

  “Yes, Jayden. I’m you’re biological father. But I want to be…I want to be more than that.”

  “All this time, you both lied.” He took a step back. “I trusted you and you’ve been lying all along.”

  “It’s not like that.” Brooke reached for his arm, but he shook her off. “Just give me a chance to explain.”

  “No, Mom. I don’t want to hear it.” He spun so his back was to them, and then took off running across the parking lot and into the overgrown field beyond.

  Brooke watched, stunned, as the darkness swallowed him up.

  8

  Brooklyn paced the living room of her house. Just in case Jayden decided to head home, Cade had sent her to wait while he launched a search. Josh was at the church, heading a prayer team. The youth praise band had done just that—banded together for one of their own.

  Oh, what have I done?

  The words filtered in with a supplication. Please bring Jayden home safely. Help us to work this out.

  Simple, to the point. A mantra cycling through Brooklyn’s head. She eyed the guitar propped against the corner near the door. Jayden’s beloved acoustic. He’d left it behind at the church, which worried her even more. She’d carted it home in hopes he’d come looking for it—looking for an explanation that would set everything to rights again.

  Sheets of rain pelted the roof, adding to Brooke’s worry. Just as Jayden had disappeared into the night, the sky, as if mirroring his anger, gathered clouds that churned and spat.

  Brooklyn had once been told that most people can think on seven separate levels simultaneously. She believed it, because at the moment her brain filtered so many thoughts. A list of the places Jayden might have run to. A flashback to Joe and their pact to bury the secret of Jayden’s conception. Cade’s urgings to reveal the truth, and her refusal to listen. Every awful thing that could happen to Jayden as he wandered alone in the dark. Woven through it all was her prayer…a fiber knitting it all together.

 

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