by Lexie Davis
He lifted the sheets and patted the empty spot on the mattress. “Come on.”
“Do you mind?”
“Sweetheart, you don’t even have to ask.”
She crossed the room and climbed in beside him. The sheets were warm and smelled like him, a scent that was nothing but pure pheromones. He leaned over her to take care of the light.
“Jax, I don’t expect anything from you. I just want to make that clear.”
His hand brushed against her breasts and then down her stomach. “Are you talking about feelings or sex?”
Autumn shrugged in the darkness. “Either. It wasn’t professional of me to say that this morning. Not after I admitted I still have feelings for you.”
“You think way too much.” His hand went lower, to her thigh where he pushed the hem of the chemise upwards a bit. “I’m not going to lie. I’m also not going to apologize for anything.”
Autumn bit her lip when his fingers brushed against her pussy. “Sex only complicates things. It was a weak moment, and I promise it won’t happen again.”
He stopped and pulled away completely. “Is that what has your exhausted mind all worked up? Autumn, I’m not looking for a relationship. Me going down on you in your living room is hardly anything to fret over. I told you I wanted you and I’ve never hidden it.”
“Are you saying I’m more than an orgasm to you?” She held her breath.
Jackson sat up and reached across to flick the lamp on. “It offends me you even have to ask.”
She sat up, too. “Well what am I suppose to believe, Jackson? I fully acknowledge I instigated it. I accept it for what it was, but you confuse me. I can’t help but wonder if this is history repeating itself.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “That was fourteen years ago. I was an ignorant fool back then who said all the right things to get between a woman’s legs. I admit that. But I don’t want it to be like that with us.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “How do you want it to be?”
Jackson met her eyes. “Honest. I’ve been honest with you since I stepped through your doorway.”
“But you don’t want a relationship, so why does honesty matter?”
He groaned and fell back against the pillows. “I didn’t say I didn’t want a relationship. I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship.”
“So you do?”
“Autumn, go to sleep.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “No. Answer me. I tell you I have feelings for you and you say nothing. And then we have sex and you what? Forgive me for thinking the past is repeating itself.”
“I said nothing because you wouldn’t believe me if I had said anything. And I hardly call tonguing you sex. If you want to believe history’s repeating itself, then that’s your prerogative. I’m tired and not talking about it any more.”
He rolled over, effectively ending their conversation. Autumn turned out the light and lay on her side away from him. His scent surrounded her, as did his warmth. She didn’t have a clue as to where they went from here, but strictly professional was out of the question.
“Autumn, for what it’s worth, I like the nightie. You look hot in turquoise.”
* * * *
The sun peeked through the blinds and lined curtains to shine right in Jackson’s eyes. He ignored it for a while, but the longer he lay there, the worse it got. Soon the damn light nearly blinded him. He rolled over to a warm, sleeping Autumn curled up beside him. She looked so beautiful lying there peacefully resting without a care in the world. He couldn’t help leaning over to kiss her softly on the lips.
“Don’t make me get up now.”
Jackson chuckled. “I’m not. We can stay in bed today for all I care.”
“No can do.” Her eyes fluttered open. “I need coffee.”
He smiled and stretched. Autumn wasn’t a morning person by any means. “My vote is to stay in bed all day.” She smacked his arm. “Ow! What was that for?”
“A laundry list of items. You deserved it.”
Jackson knew it was true. He sat up and glanced at the clock. It was too early to be functioning. “You have to give me one hell of a good reason to get out of bed at this indecent hour.”
“I’ll make you breakfast.” She pulled the covers aside and sat up.
“Not good enough.” He fell back against the soft mattress.
She grinned at him. “You sure? Waffles with fresh-picked strawberries and whipped cream.”
His stomach growled. After all these years, she still remembered his favorite breakfast. Jackson reached for her and tugged her toward him until she conveniently settled on top of him while they spoke.
“I only eat whipped cream off someone.” He grinned. “As you recall, that someone was you.”
“I doubt I’m the only one.”
Jackson saw something change in her eyes, as if his past—their past—would forever haunt them. He wanted to think they could overcome it, that Autumn would believe him and they could move on. He was a real shithead to her before and didn’t understand why he wanted to make amends now. He just knew he had to.
“Do you want a relationship with me, Autumn? The full-fledged boyfriend–girlfriend kind that includes romance and hand-holding?”
“You know I do.” She scooted to the side and stared at the closet. “I’m not going to force you into it, though. I know the reality of the situation and haven’t got a clue about how we can work around it. You’ll leave once the mission is over, and then where will I be?”
Jackson contemplated that too. “Can I tell you something?” he asked.
Autumn turned her head and gave him her full attention.
“I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m thirty-four years old, and I can honestly say, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Isn’t that pathetic?”
“A little.” She smiled. “What are you getting at?”
Jackson didn’t even know himself. “I want you to be my girlfriend. My first.”
He knew in the back of his mind that sounded more pathetic than admitting to never being in a relationship and scolded himself mentally for it.
Autumn needed someone to depend on. He didn’t know how he’d do it with his schedule, but he’d try. If it meant taking cases only in the U.S., so be it. He wanted the chance. Even during the summer they had spent together, he saw her as being different. It hadn’t stopped him from using her, but it opened his eyes now. She deserved to be loved.
“Say something.” Jackson itched to touch her but he held back.
“Yes.”
Chapter Nine
After hours of nonstop clients, Summer finally pulled Autumn to the side while they prepared to examine a litter of puppies in the back room.
“So, how is living with the hot hunk?” Summer wiggled her eyebrows.
“We’re sort of dating now.”
“Dating as in having really hot sex?”
Autumn blushed. Summer shook her head and snickered. For as long as she could remember, Jackson equaled hot sex no matter what the circumstances were. She found watching him work the ranch with her brothers, his body gleaming with sweat from the exertion, to be overly enticing and a delicious turn on. Sort of like now when he pulled his shirt off while working on remodeling the place. Autumn found herself staring at him when she was supposed to be working herself.
“He’s definitely a million steps up from Frank.” Summer took each of the puppies back to their mother and locked the cage behind her.
“Ugh. Don’t mention him.” Autumn gathered her bottle of water and the reports to calculate the bills for her customers. “I need you to run a few errands for me. We need a new filing cabinet since the shelves were torn down, and we also need some kind of scheduling book.”
“Sure we do. You just want to be left alone with the hottie.” Summer grinned.
Autumn felt her cheeks heating again. “Fine, I want to be left alone with the hottie.” She walked to the door with the files and glanced over her
shoulder at Summer with a grin. “You don’t have to worry about coming back.”
In the main lobby, Autumn found Jackson painting over the harsh red letters of “Slut” written along the wall. His bare back was to her, his body slightly turned giving her a perfect view of his tattoo. It was the same one her father had on his back, the same one Nick and Davis had on their chest. The eagle sat on top of the world with an anchor piercing through the side. It was common in the military, and Autumn knew just like her brothers that Jackson did it for one cause.
She sighed. “Hey, Jax.”
He turned his head at the sound of her voice, though he continued to paint. “Hey. Something wrong?”
“You’re distracting me.” She smiled and sat in the middle of the floor to calculate the day’s bills.
“Sorry.” He watched her tip her water bottle to her lips and paused. “But I think you’re the distracting one.”
He dipped the roller in the paint pan and began to roll the excess off. His muscles flexed with each push and pull, the tattoo dancing to its own beat. Autumn sat mesmerized, thinking that never in a million years would he ever date a girl like her. They had met through her father and had slept together out of stupidity. But if the circumstances were different and they had met out on the street, a guy like Jackson would look the other way when given the opportunity to be with her.
“You’re staring at me.” Without looking at her, he resumed painting.
“Sorry. I’m tired and just thinking.” She looked down at the pile of papers in her lap. “What made you decide to join the Marines?”
Jackson sat the pole with the paint roller attached aside and grabbed his shirt. Groaning, he rubbed the sweat from his face and tossed the shirt aside. “My life. It wasn’t exactly perfect, far from it actually, and the military was the only way out.”
“Do you ever see your family?”
“Nope.” He grabbed the pole again and dipped the roller in the paint.
Jackson offered no more and Autumn let it go. He hated talking. Unless it was making some smart-ass remark or turning her on. He detested talking about feelings most of all. She didn’t understand it since her mother had raised her to speak her mind and to get everything off her chest, good or bad. Her father never protested when she’d question him either.
She was a feelings kind of girl. One who said what needed to be said. Jackson spoke his mind, but left the emotions bottled up inside. Why it killed him to tell her anything significant, she couldn’t comprehend. Give him time. But how much time did they really have?
Two hours of billing and she wanted to pound her head against the wall. She ached, and she couldn’t stop thinking about the mysteries of Jackson. He wanted to know about her relationship with Frank, and all the nitty gritty details she told Jeffery. Good luck with that. She didn’t know if it hurt her more that he didn’t ask her about her life or that he went behind her back to ask her brother.
He finished painting the walls when he ran out of paint and decided to finish working on the countertop. The place was slowly coming together again and all Autumn could do was pray it remained that way.
“Okay, I need a break and couple of Tylenol.” She scooped up the papers around her and stood with them in her arms. “I want to do something together. Something that has nothing to do with work and something that is out of my house.”
Jackson sat the paint roller aside and focused his attention on her. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to go on a date. Something that is just us having fun. I need to have fun.” She sat the pile on the counter and twisted the top of her water bottle. “What do you say?”
“Depends. Do you put out on the first date?”
Dropping her jaw, Autumn scoffed.
“Oh, all right. I suppose I’ll suffer through the agony of having fun with you with no intentions of sex afterward. It’ll be torture but I’ll manage,” he said.
Autumn rolled her eyes. “You’re a buffoon.”
“Yeah and you’re smiling. I succeeded with my mission.” Jackson gathered all the painting supplies. “You pick what we do and where we go while I rinse these brushes.”
She watched him walk toward the back. Although she’d seen his body many times, she simply couldn’t stop staring. When he returned, he shook a few brushes at her, sprinkling water across her cheeks.
“Quit!” She grabbed his hands and pushed them away from her. “You’re getting me wet.”
He chuckled. “Isn’t that the point?”
His arms came around her. She was helpless against the strong man and surrendered with a light kiss. “You’re so bad.”
“To the bone, baby. Where are we going?”
“I want to walk in the park. It’s not overly romantic or even remotely fun, but it does let me clear my head.” Jackson’s hands slid to her ass and she lifted her legs around his waist. “You can even hold my hand.”
He smiled. “Whatever you want. What about the much-needed work to be done?”
She looked around the room and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, since Summer went on hiatus, I think our work can wait until tomorrow. Besides my no-good brother and his wife are coming in. Got to save something for them.”
“Jeff will get a kick out of that.”
After they grabbed their stuff and locked the door, Autumn crawled in the truck beside Jackson, grateful to be alone with him outside the mess. He put his shirt back on, though the simple fabric did nothing to hide the strong muscles beneath.
After spending an hour walking hand in hand at the park, they stopped by the local Chinese place and grabbed a quick order of takeout. Home couldn’t have sounded better to Autumn when they pulled in the drive, her bed sounding even better.
“How come you don’t wear your dog tags?” she asked out of the blue.
He tilted his head to the side. “I’m not really in the Marine Corp any more. I do odds and ends kind of stuff, but I’m basically a soldier for hire. I don’t really have a need to wear them any more.”
“I used to wear my dad’s when he was home. I snuck in my parent’s room and took them off the dresser. He used to get so mad at me because he was afraid I’d lose them. I don’t know what made me think of that just now.” She sighed and gathered her belongings along with the food.
“The Major is really special to you, isn’t he?”
“Of course. He’s my dad.” Autumn saw pain that she couldn’t identify in his eyes. “I don’t want to pry, but I would like to know where you come from sometime.”
“My life began when I turned eighteen and entered the Marines. That’s all there is to know.”
She watched Jackson climb out of the truck and walk toward her house. She didn’t understand what his statement meant but knew he would tell her in his own time. If he really wanted her to know, he’d tell her everything that she saw hurting him. He never showed weakness, and she chalked up his behavior to male pride.
“I’m going to take a quick shower,” he said when she came through the door. He started stripping, walking toward the hall. “It’s been a helluva, day and I stink. I’ll only be a minute.”
Autumn glanced at the bag of food in her arms and sighed. The food will be cold by the time you get out and sweet and sour chicken is never good cold. She kept her thoughts to herself and went to the kitchen bar to began sorting through the containers. She didn’t bother with plates, too tired to clean up the mess when they were done. After everything was situated, she poured herself a glass of iced tea and sat in her regular spot.
Ten minutes later Jackson came back with a towel wrapped around his waist, damp from his shower. “I’m starved.” He took his seat next to her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just tired. It’s seven and I’m ready to fall asleep. How sad is that?” She bit into her egg roll.
“I’m with ya.” Jackson literally dug into his food, inhaling it more than actually chewing it.
Autumn watched him, amazed at how diff
erent women were from men. Even living with four men for nearly five years of her teenage life, she still didn’t understand them, couldn’t begin to fathom their way of thinking or their rationality on things.
“Jax, that food isn’t going anywhere.” She chuckled and stood. “Take a breath in between bites and actually chew it.”
Jackson turned his head toward her. He looked adorable sitting on her bar stool naked with sweet and sour sauce on his lips. She couldn’t help leaning forward to lick off the excess, which gained a groan from him