by Ryan Attard
"And that is why you keep me around. I solve problems," said the cat.
"You also create them," I murmured.
Amaymon ignored me. "Have you thought of where we can go into hiding?" He took one look at my blank expression and shook his head. "Wait here."
The cat darted up the stairs and disappeared.
"Is that a good thing?" Abigail asked.
"Hell no."
Amaymon returned with a pamphlet in his mouth. "We can go here."
I took the glossy paper and frowned.
"A cruise? You want us to go on a cruise?"
As far as dumb ideas went, this one was slowly creeping into first place.
"Why not?"
"How is that going to help us?" I asked, practically yelling.
Amaymon hissed in annoyance. "It's a constantly moving location which makes scrying a real bitch. The water dissipates the flow of magic so summoning is out of the question. And take a look at yourself."
"What's wrong with me?"
"Lots of things but mainly you do not belong on a classy ship like that. Which is why it's the last place anyone would look for you," he said. I did not appreciate the emphasis on that last point. "This is not an idea you would have, which is precisely what will throw Gil off."
I frowned.
Truth be told, I couldn't find anything wrong with what he said. It was true that water messed with magic and a moving target was ideal.
Since when did the cat become the brains of the operation?
"And I haven't even gotten to the best part," he continued. "It's a singles' cruise."
"So?"
"So that means there's gonna be a whole bunch of lonely, horny people trolling the decks for other lonely, horny people. The whole thing is gonna be one giant orgy," he explained, practically oozing out joy. "And what better place for someone whose constantly leaking sexual energy to hide? It'd be like trying to find a needle in a giant pile of needles.”
"And how do we pay for this?" I asked.
"Gil's payment for the Behemoth job, Gracie's check and the money for the lizardmen job. That should cover the week," he promptly replied.
"You seem to have given this a lot of thought," I commented.
"I'm a pervert, Erik," he replied simply. "I keep an eye out for potential hunting grounds."
At least he was honest about his motives. Forget saving the girl—the demon just wanted to sink in debauchery.
I turned to Abigail. "What about you? How do you feel about all this?"
"Very confused," she replied.
"I mean, will you be able to control yourself?" I emphasized. "It's gonna be an open buffet, especially for someone like you."
She shook her head. "I have no choice."
And she was right.
She had no choice in the matter. This was a frying pan or fire situation. At least on the ship I could keep an eye on her. If she just fed off the residual energy, that's one thing. Worst case scenario would be if she started humping people out of their lives.
Literally.
"Okay," I said finally. "Ground rules."
I turned to Abigail. "You stay with me at all times. If you feel urges of any kind, no matter how wild or embarrassing, you tell me. Don't let it build up and do something stupid. And you," I said turning to the cat. "Are cat's even allowed on board?"
"Nope," Amaymon replied flatly.
I sighed. Nothing was ever easy.
"So, here's how it's gonna work," I said. "You do not leave my side either but keep an eye out for any demons. Or my sister. And most of all, you do not talk to other passengers. At all. Got it?"
He raised a paw. "Aye, aye, Captain."
I looked the leaflet over again. Might as well make this a working vacation.
"Go to the store and get a change of clothes," I told Abigail handing her some cash. "I'll pack whatever I need and meet you guys back here in half an hour."
I attached the ruby to Amaymon. "Keep an eye on her," I said. "And don't be late."
Once they left I proceeded to stuff a gym bag with whatever I thought I would need. Ammo, crystals, some potion ingredients in case I had to play chemist, and some clothes.
I looked around and sighed for the hundredth time that day. Even if I came back in one piece, I still had an office to rebuild. Hell, maybe I'll just bill Gil for it. It was on her orders that Jack attacked me in the first place.
Abigail soon reappeared with four stuffed bags. Sending her shopping with a roll of cash and a demon for company was an amateur mistake on my part.
Amaymon winked at me. "Nothing like helping out a girl with her shopping to make her like you."
The joke was on him—that money was coming out of his cat food.
Chapter 14
I had a plan.
It was a simple plan but I had a plan. I would walk up to their office, buy tickets and get on the boat.
Simple, right?
We spent three days hopping from one motel to another. I taught Abigail some basics on controlling her energy flow, so she wasn't constantly sending out strong magical signals.
But it wasn't foolproof.
The most important thing for us now was getting on that boat.
When I told Amaymon my plan, he laughed in my face, before explaining in explicit detail just how dumb I was and how one can't simply buy tickets to such a thing. Apparently you have to check for availability; the one tiny detail I had overlooked.
Then, he suggested a sure fire way to get on the boat without technically breaking any rules.
"Use the girl," he said.
When I glared at him, he elaborated.
"You can't force your way through. I mean, you can," he said looking at me. "But then you would whine about how bad a decision that was and give me a headache. You need someone to mess with their heads, to make them do your bidding, and Abigail over here is the perfect person to do so."
I waved him quiet. "So, you want her to seduce whoever is in charge into signing our names down?"
"Yes."
"Doesn't that strike you as immoral?"
"Ah, yes," he replied sarcastically. "Immoral. I'm sure if you explained that nicely to your sister and her angels she'll call off the chase. What's her number again?"
"I get it, I get it," I said.
And that was the end of that particular conversation.
We parked outside their office the following day and went over our game plan.
"All I need is for them to be a little fuzzy," I instructed Abigail. "Think you can cover that?"
I intended to do most of the talking, anyway.
Amaymon had other ideas.
"Hey, what kinda car do you drive?" he asked Abigail.
She looked at him quizzically. "A Lexus convertible. Why?"
"Figures," he replied. "Are you loaded?"
"What? No. I got it at a good price," she said defensively.
"Uh-huh," said the cat.
"What are you getting at, Amaymon?" I asked.
"She charmed the dealer," he replied flatly.
"No, I did not!" she retorted.
"How did you feel when you talked to the guy? When you got the car?" he asked.
Abigail shook her head. "I don't know. Happy?" she suggested.
"Of course, happy," he replied. If cats could roll their eyes, he would have. "Look deeper."
"I don't know."
Amaymon stood on all fours and climbed onto her lap. "You felt in control. Euphoric. You felt like you were a dominating force and had control over anything."
Abigail swallowed hard. "I - I'm not sure. I might have. How do you know all this?"
Amaymon purred. "I'm a demon, too, girl. That's how we roll." He flicked his tail and rubbed his head with his front paw before sitting down elegantly on her lap.
"Listen to me. You and I are both demons. Sure, yeah, I'm a full demon older than Earth itself and you're a genetic mix between demon and human, but our fundamental nature is the same."
&
nbsp; He stared intently up at her. "We get our powers from chaos. It's our nature."
She stared back down at him, as if in a trance.
"If you're trying to make a point, just spit it out, Amaymon. We're on a schedule," I said.
Amaymon flicked his ear irritably. "Okay, here's the key. What is the one thing that makes humans so chaotic?" he asked as he alternated his gaze between the two humans in the car.
Neither of us had any idea what he was talking about.
"Emotions!" he yelled exasperatedly after a few seconds. "Holy kittens, how did you ever make it as a species?"
He let out an exaggerated sigh.
"Tap into those emotions," he told Abigail. "Dominate, control. I want you to walk in there like you own the place and everyone in it, got it?"
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"He might be onto something here," I said. "But I still don't want you to go overboard with it. Just let me do the talking, okay?"
She nodded, but I could tell she was still unsure.
That made two of us.
We entered the office and it was clear which of us was in control. Abigail's stride suggested a profession where cameras flash, fans swoon, and salaries are well above the six zeros figure. She walked in front of me, her pose almost suggesting that she was blessing each tile by stepping over it. She reached the counter and looked at the guy behind the desk. He was completely lost in her gaze. She said something and made delicate movements with her hands. There was a subliminal sway of her body which made everyone's brain stop working, mine included.
The poor guy behind the desk never stood a chance.
We were offered coffee. Heck, I didn't even know this place gave you coffee—no one else had any.
There was one guy who kept passing by our desk. I guess he was trying to burn her image into his skull. I really hoped he'd be alright. Lust over a fantasy has driven one too many men over the edge, even without magical enhancement.
I had managed to resist her charm but that didn't mean I was out of it just yet.
Let's just say that walking became very awkward.
I let her do the talking. Anything I would say would sound like white noise at this point. Instead, I used the time to reflect on something.
This was some serious power she had. I doubt even one person in the building was unaffected by her.
And she was only a budding succubus, not even at full power yet. Just how strong will she get once she's fully mature?
That thought was immediately followed by, if she goes rogue, will I be able to take her down?
What scared me most was that right that second, I didn't have a clear answer.
The deal was done and a few minutes later, Abigail and I were the happy couple with the Imperial Suite.
But even when we stepped outside, she did not drop her glamour.
"Abigail?"
She turned and the brunt of her power was aimed at the only other person there: me.
"What?" she whispered in a tone that made me fantasize about very depraving things starring the two of us. Her hand snaked onto my shoulder and suddenly I couldn't breathe.
A split second later, Dark Erik showed up again, like a Deus Ex Machina. I felt my power push against hers. Still, I have to admit that I only made it out because she was still a novice and had little to no control over her abilities.
I grabbed her shoulders firmly and hugged her. She yelped in surprise but I didn't care.
I know what you're thinking but no, I did not give in to her influence. I simply just needed her within the range of my aura. I fired off a spell aimed directly at us. The temperature plummeted so violently, it was painful. Snow formed around us as the moisture in the air crystalized.
We both jumped away from each other, the frost congealing away any fantasy or depravity going on in our minds. It was the mother of all cold showers but it did the trick.
We stood there for a minute, panting at one another, and she refused to meet my eyes.
"It's normal," I said after a while.
Abigail gave me a reproachful look, with none of that confidence she had when we walked inside the office building.
"I'd be more worried if you weren't attracted to power," I insisted.
"How so?" Her voice was a whisper but there was nothing sensual about it.
I smiled at her. "Because then you wouldn't be human," I said reassuringly. She nodded understandingly and opened the car door.
She still couldn't meet my eyes.
Amaymon's head popped from the car. "Did I miss anything?"
Chapter 15
They say you never know how big something is until you see it up close.
On the other hand, if you can see something from forty-five minutes of road away, my guess was it's big enough. As we got closer to the ship I lost count of how many times I wondered how such a gargantuan hunk of metal could float.
We walked up the carpeted gangplank-like thing where members of staff in sailor's uniforms welcomed passengers. Abigail showed them our tickets and once again I saw loopy smiles on their faces. Naturally they completely ignored yours truly, which was fine by me.
I get enough stares back home.
Besides, I had some stuff in my gym bag which I was pretty sure not allowed in any public place.
As soon as we were alone in our room, my gym bag began shaking violently.
"Erik," came Amaymon's muffled voice from inside. "I know we're alone now. Let me out."
The cat struggled inside the gym bag.
We could only manage to afford two tickets, so Amaymon had to be stuffed inside the bag with my belongings and snuck aboard as a cat. He had made some obvious pun about the cat being literally inside the bag and complied. I think he was actually looking forward to it.
And as the victim of most of his pranks, it was my duty to make him regret that decision.
I chucked the bag on the king-sized bed and just watched the show. It was like something out of a cartoon as the bag hopped from side to side.
"The all-powerful Amaymon, brought down by the mighty zipper," I said as Abigail stifled a laugh and joined me in watching the struggle. We began giggling like idiots.
"Erik! Let me out of this damn bag!"
Nah, not yet. It's not every day I get to screw the cat over.
"I swear to God, Erik, if you don't let me out of here I am going to mark my territory over everything inside here. Let me out of this bag, you son of a bitch," he yelled from the bag. Then he went quiet.
The damn cat was pissing on my equipment.
I rushed over and unzipped the bag, freeing the cat inside.
"Good one," Amaymon said. "That makes our tally one for you and a million for me."
I chuckled proudly.
"I'm starting to think you guys are a bunch of idiots," Abigail said as she rummaged inside her own bag. She pulled out a colorful article of clothing and waved it in my face. "I am going to go change. Don't let him peep," she said, pointing at the cat.
Amaymon scoffed at her. "I can only imagine the hot babes here. Who would waste time on you, little girl?"
A pillow sailed across the room and hit the cat.
"Can you not be disgusting for a second?" I asked him as I checked to make sure none of my stuff smelled like cat urine.
"I lick myself clean," he replied. "What do you think?"
Before I could come up with an answer, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
There was a breath on the other side and a soft chuckle. "Hello, brother."
Oh, crap.
"Oh, crap." I'm not one to hide my feelings.
"How are you enjoying your stay?" Gil smoothly asked from the other end.
"How did you find me?"
"Painstakingly," she replied. "We have to meet."
"I disagree," I said and prepared to hang up on her.
"The angels agreed to talk," I heard her say.
Did I say 'oh, crap' already?
I held the receive
r very firmly to my ear. "What changed?"
"Everything." Way to be ominous, Gil.
She sighed. "Meet me at the pool once we leave port. That should be in about three hours. Don't be late," she ordered before hanging up.
I remained there for another couple of seconds, listening to the dial tone as if it could provide some answer which didn't make my head feel like exploding.
That was a lot to ask out of a dial tone.
"Gil?" asked the cat as he curled up on the bed. Clearly, he had been eavesdropping on our conversation.
"Gil," I confirmed.
"If angels agreed to spill information, then that's a good thing, right? Might shed some light on our mystery," he said as he bent over and began licking his leg.
"Yeah. We still gotta figure out what attacked the girl in the first place, and why," I said as I began absentmindedly pacing around the room. "And can you please not do that when I'm around?"
Amaymon released the hold on his leg, and whistled. "Check out the babe."
I spun and saw Abigail exit the bathroom wearing a colorful bikini, which inspired equally colorful fantasies. She also had one of those sarong things around her waist which hugged her body in all the right places.
"You alright?" she asked me.
I was staring at her—of course I was staring at her! I was just a guy and she, a very attractive succubus.
Get a grip, Erik. You're on a job here.
I shook myself out of my trance.
"Yeah. Yeah," I said.
"Who was that on the phone?" she asked.
"Gil."
Abigail raised an eyebrow.
"Gil is my sister. You remember her. She had a demon dog and threw a lot of spells at me and wanted to kidnap you," I explained.
"Was that before or after you kidnapped me?" she asked sarcastically.
Amaymon let out a chuckle. "She's got you there, dude."
"It was a rescue," I insisted. "Proof of that is you’re here on a cruise ship in a bikini rather than in a dungeon with a straightjacket." Some people can be really ungrateful. "By the way, why are you wearing a bikini?"
Her eyebrows shot up. "I'm going for an interview with the CEO of Disney," she replied sarcastically.
"I'll take a piece of that sexy princess," muttered the cat.