Interphase
Page 26
Chapter 30
Clyde wasn't surprised by VERA's approach. Ever since their joining, he could feel her presence inside his mind, like a tell-channel in reality.
"Your thoughts seem uneasy," she whispered.
He finished typing a code line and began another before he replied, "I'm just not used to this." He was careful to keep his tone neutral.
It wasn't difficult to imagine Mierva's mirthful smile. "I imagine it would take some adjustment."
"You know why that is." A particular command was giving Clyde some trouble. He fiddled with it until he got the syntax right. "You already know everything about me."
"I may know much, but hardly everything." Clyde could feel her presence shifting, as if she was drawing closer to him. "Are you angry with me for some reason?"
Sighing, Clyde lifted his hands away from the keyboard and rubbed his eyes. "You know, VERA, it's really hard to concentrate on rebuilding your components when you keep asking me questions. Can't you just… dig around in my brain for the answers?"
A distinct impression of distaste came down the link, and Clyde could almost visualize Mierva's shudder. "Even with your permission, I would not. It would be extremely rude of me to do such a thing."
For some reason, he felt a rush of bitter satisfaction at that. "So if you really wanted to, you could do it."
"Clyde, you are being silly. Of course I can't." He felt the touch of another emotion that was quite different from any of his own. It took him a moment to place a name to it. Regret. "Do you still blame me for your parents' deaths?"
Clyde's mouth opened to give his instinctive litany, but he stopped himself. He ceased typing and thought about the question. "Yes," he said. "Though I don't just blame you. They were at fault as well."
Mierva's regret flowed through the link, tinged with concern, and Clyde shuddered. "Damn. How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"That! I can feel you… feeling inside me. How can you feel at all? You're just a computer prog—"
"No." The force of her thought left Clyde momentarily speechless. "You, of all people, know better than that."
Yes, he did. But he wasn't ready to fully accept it. "How can you feel emotions like humans do?"
"Your ancestors designed me with the capacity for emotional growth. They felt that leaving humanity in the hands of a completely impartial ruler would be unwise. My 'childhood', if it could be called that, was spent learning as much about emotions as about governing the planet." VERA paused, almost as if she was trying to bring herself back to the present. "You forget, Clyde, just how long I have existed. So much time spent building upon my original foundations, learning, evolving."
An emotion poured through their connection, so poignant and intense that Clyde could feel tears brimming. It was the sadness he had seen occasionally in Mierva's eyes. Sadness wasn't the only part of it though. He dug deeper and found a great sense of longing mixed with love.
VERA loved her people. For an instant, Clyde lowered his guard and let himself experience the sensation. He felt the sadness of being different, a longing to be understood, as well as something else: loneliness.
What would it be like for an immortal machine to become human in nearly every sense? To develop the capacity to feel, only to be unable to share any source of emotional contact?
Clyde found the thought uncomfortable to contemplate, so he pushed it from his mind.
He picked up his work where he'd left off. He finished the sub program and moved on to another. "You are quite skilled," VERA said, with a hint of amusement.
Clyde shrugged and continued typing.
"When you were fighting against me, did you fancy yourself a great hero, come to rescue mankind from my grasp?"
"I'm no one's hero."
"You are mine."
Another strange emotion spilled into Clyde's mind, and he had to stop coding to let the trembling in his hands subside. "You really have to stop doing that," he snapped.
Clyde felt the sadness slip through as VERA's presence pulled away. Inside, he felt a bit guilty. "Mier… VERA. I'm sorry."
How in the world could a computer program be this confusing?
Clyde leaned back in his chair again and covered his face. He just couldn't do this right now. He couldn't deal with feeling two very different sets of emotions all the time. He needed his mind back, needed his control back.
"Look, I… I'll finish this later. David was right. I need a break. If you could keep quiet in there, I'm gonna try and get some sleep."
There was no audible reply, but Clyde could feel VERA withdraw. She was still there, as if Mierva was standing silently at the far end of the room, but none of her feelings intruded on his own. He moved over to the mattress in the corner of his apartment, lay down and haphazardly threw the single bedsheet over himself, clothes and all. For a minute he lay quietly, listening to the electrical hum of his machines.
Clyde's mind refused to rest. Dreams and images grappled with him. He saw Mierva standing before him, holding something in her hand. He tried to grab it, and she drew back, staying just out of his reach. Her face became more mature, became VERA's, and a patronizing smile crossed her lips. He felt a sting across his cheek. He pressed the spot with his fingertips, feeling something hot and sticky leak over them. Looking up again, he saw spots of red on VERA's fingers, the smile shifting into a sneer.
The images continued to torment Clyde. He was teased, tortured, and through it all, she watched silently. Finally, he couldn't take anymore; his will was broken. VERA raised her hand, and Clyde's limb parroted the gesture. His muscles contracted and relaxed without his order, like a puppet on invisible strings. As he danced to VERA's whims, he saw flashes of his parents. Their features were muddled; the only thing he could make out were their frowns.
Clyde came awake with a scream. A single beam of sunlight creeping through the shutters indicated that it was morning. The room was nearly as dark as his dream, and ominous shadows hovered around him. He felt something touch him, a hard and metallic grip that was not human, and he struggled against it, terror drowning him.
Within the confines of his mind, he shouted, "VERA, don't do this to me. You promised!"
His arms were restrained, so he struck at his assailant with his head. He heard a clang just before the world began to go dark. The last thought that passed through his mind was the realization that VERA was taking control of him, like he always knew she would… like he'd always been told…
He came awake on a soft, enormous couch. His surroundings were fancy, almost opulent. He rose to his feet unsteadily and looked down. His clothes were different: unwrinkled and dressy. What was going on?
A door opened, and a man walked in, dressed in a business suit. Still wary, Clyde stiffened at his approach. "Good," he said, smiling. "I'm glad you woke up in time. You roughed yourself up a bit when we sent for you."
Clyde could feel a muted sense of anticipation through the link. It only made him more confused. "In time for what?"
The gentleman gave a knowing grin. "VERA has a surprise for you. Come along." He turned toward the door and gestured for Clyde to follow. Drawn by an inexorable curiosity, he stepped into a dark hallway. A door stood at the far end, and as he approached, it opened into a room full of lights and music.
***
The newscast of Clyde Verell's appointment to the position of Executive Architect of V-Net had been playing for the last hour. Clyde had been lauded with praise and honors for his selfless contributions to defending against the recent attacks on both VERA and the Network. It was enough to make Thomas sick to his stomach.
He yanked on his gloves and rubbed his jaw. It was starting to ache from being clenched so often.
"I heard that guy is the son of a pair of Non-Coms," Kale whispered. Thomas didn't respond, cracking his knuckles to fill the empty space.
Wensley leaned in conspiratorially. "I heard that he single-handedly took out an entire terrorist army. The guy must be pre
tty badass." Thomas rolled his eyes.
"Having fun, gentlemen?" Steve called out as he strode into the prep room.
"Just checking out the news of the world, Steve," Kale replied with a grin.
"Well, here's some world news for ya: we've got a playoff game to win here. Come on, guys, fall in."
It was Steve's typical pre-game talk. Thomas probably could have recited it in his sleep, but he managed to bite back his mounting impatience. When the arena doors opened and the fanfare announced the start of the game, he didn't join his teammates as they waved to the crowd. He marched directly into the grav-sphere, crossed the walkway to the first platform and searched for an opponent.
=All right, men, this is our home field,= Steve sent. =Let's keep it tight. Thom, Wens, you're our forwards. Lufkin, you're covering the spawner. Sorr, the goal is yours. Kale, you're with me on defense. Form up!=
The Mercury Quicksilver took up positions on their starting platforms. Thomas locked his gaze on the closest opposing defender, and the cheers of the crowd faded to a distant roar.
The buzzer sounded, and Thomas stomped on his platform, activating the grav jump. As soon as it had charged, he leapt high into the air, hurtling toward his target. He slammed into the Quicksilver player and nearly knocked him from the platform. The goal ball sailed over his head while his opponent grabbed for him, trying to recover his balance. Thomas stiff-armed him and watched as the player fell off the platform and was pulled into the gravity well. Suddenly the buzzer sounded again. The Titans had fumbled the goal ball into the well, turning control over to the Quicksilver.
=All right, what happened there, folks?= Steve asked.
=Sorry, guys,= Wensley sent. =I got tag teamed by their forwards and lost the ball when I was negged.=
=Thom, you're supposed to be giving each other some cover,= Steve admonished.
Thomas ground his teeth and moved back to his platform position. =I was clearing an open spot and missed the block.=
=No biggie, just keep an eye on it.=
The Quicksilver came leaping across the platforms, using the speedy passing they were renowned for. Thomas saw the direction of their next pass and performed a leaping tackle that sent his opponent and the goal ball tumbling into the well. Control returned to the Titans.
As they began their next drive, Thomas stayed close to Wensley this time. One of the Quicksilver attackers made a dive. Thomas thrust ahead to block, realizing too late that the move was a feint. He twisted and lost his balance, and was knocked from the platform by another opponent. He fell into the well with a curse. Respawning at the holding bench, he watched helplessly as Wensley was knocked off by three opponents. A Quicksilver forward snagged the goal ball and with a two man advantage, they quickly scored.
A private tell from Steve just added to Thomas's frustration. =What's up, Thom?=
=What do you mean?=
=That last move was a classic fakeout. You normally don't fall for cheap tricks like that.=
Thomas clenched his fists together. =I just missed it that time. Sorry.=
=Pick up the slack, man. We can not afford to have anyone distracted. I need my star forward kickin it out there.=
The balls spawned on the field, and Lufkin threw the goal ball to Thomas. He waited for the nearest Quicksilver forward to leap toward him and body slammed his opponent at the edge of the platform. The forward fell down, grabbing the edge of the platform to stop his fall. Thomas saw Wensley downfield and threw a quick pass to him. He caught a flash of something familiar in the crowd, and he looked out to catch David and Jessica cheering at him. He shook his head as memory intruded; the golden haired woman he loved was no longer Jessica. He was snapped out of his thoughts as the forward he'd knocked down climbed up and leapt away. A telltale woosh indicated that the neg ball had deactivated his platform. It disappeared, and he plummeted into the grav well.
Thomas watched from the bench as the Quicksilver turned the drive around and pushed in for another score. Steve quickly called a time-out and bounded over to the bench. "You okay, bud? Looked like you got knocked a little senseless by your tackle."
Thomas glared at no one in particular, embarrassment burning his face. "Fine," he hissed.
"Take the left defender position for now. Once we get back cont—"
"I said I'm fine!"
Steve blinked, clearly taken aback.
Thomas drew a deep breath and straightened up. "I don't need a change of position. I can pull us ahead."
"Not like this you can't," Steve snapped, frowning. =Guys, position shift. Kale, you're with me on forward. Thom and Wens, cover defense.=
=Roger that, Steve,= Kale replied.
Thomas said nothing, only watched Steve move off to his platform, while he walked to the backfield.
The goal ball spawned and was quickly in play. Thomas kept his eyes trained on its position. A Quicksilver double team stole the ball from Kale, though they lost a member to the well. They passed quickly down the sphere. One of their forwards launched a blazing pass, but his teammate missed the catch. Diving forward, Thomas snatched it out of mid-air.
=Thom, right quadrant, pass!= Steve sent.
Thomas ignored him and charged forward, clutching the ball and leaping from platform to platform. His teammates shouted at him over the channel, yelling for him to pass, but he kept moving. The Quicksilver forward from his last match-up tried to tackle him, but Thomas snapped his arm out, grabbing his opponent's facemask and bodily hurling him into the sphere wall.
The penalty buzzer shrieked over the field, and the game halted. A replay of Thomas's illegal move played repeatedly on the monitors. The Quicksilver team had huddled up near their goal, looking over to glare at him as they talked. He received a few glares from his teammates as well.
The referee drones declared his offense a flagrant foul, and awarded a point and control to the Quicksilver. Steve tried to send Thomas another private tell, but he had already blocked the channel.
Chapter 31
David groaned as the refs awarded the point to the Quicksilver, and the Titan fans in the seats next to him mirrored his disappointment with loud boos. "Wait, what just happened?" Analara asked, looking between him and the playing field in confusion.
"The opposing side just got a free point."
"But I thought you said they needed to tag the goal disc with the silver ball."
"Yeah," he said, and frowned at the field. "I'm not sure what's up with the Titans today. This is the first game of the playoffs. They can't afford to get sloppy."
Suddenly, David heard something for the first time since Shalaron's attack: laughter. He turned his head and watched Analara hold her hand to her mouth as she giggled. It was her real laugh. It sounded a little different coming through Jessica's voice, but he could recognize the sound of her laugh through a crowd of people. She paused for breath and grinned at him. "I'm sorry, David. You just reminded me of Rupu cheering for one of his favorite teams during the city games."
Part of David's brain was aware that he was staring at her, but he couldn't help it. Analara blinked, and her amusement turned to momentary confusion. "What's wrong?"
David shook himself, a flush coming to his cheeks. "Nothing, I just…" he stammered. "I haven't heard you laugh like that in quite awhile. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it."
A blush touched Analara's cheeks, and she ducked her head, pretending to be very interested in the next play.
The game continued, and the Titans fared poorly. David kept a close eye on Thomas and was astonished by his friend's uncharacteristic lack of poise. He couldn't recall Thomas ever seeming so frustrated, and a knot of concern began to grow in David's stomach.
A buzzer signaled the end of the first half. The Quicksilver were leading by six goals. The teams walked off the field to their prep rooms, and David fired off a quick tell to Thomas. No reply came, so he tried again. Still nothing. David got to his feet as the Titans walked down the corridor near their seats, and he waved
toward Thomas, trying to grab his attention.
Thomas lifted his gaze briefly, but the look in his eyes was anything but friendly. David sat back down, stunned.
"Ouch."
"What's the matter?" Analara asked.
"Did I do something to piss Thomas off recently?"
Analara sighed and twined her fingers through David's. "I would leave him alone for now. Out of all of us, I think he has had it the hardest. Things have moved so fast that he hasn't had a chance to come to terms with anything yet."
Unhappily, David nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."
Her fingertips tickled against his palm, and she snuggled into the crook of his arm. David put his arm around her shoulders and held her close, relishing the feeling of warmth that flooded through him. They hadn't had a chance to be this close since the evening inside the observatory, gazing down at the virtual world. "It seems like you've been coming to terms with something lately as well," he whispered in her ear.
He felt her shrug. "The realization that I'm not cut out to be a warrior?"
David had to chuckle at that. "You were amazing, Analara. I don't think any of us would have survived the battle with Totarakh if you hadn't been there."
"Perhaps," she murmured, "but I didn't enjoy it. All my life I've trained to help and heal others. I do not think I will ever be all right with taking a life. The Siathrak attacked us because Totarakh commanded it, but how many of those who fought and died truly deserved that fate?"
"We have no way of knowing that now," David said regretfully. "I hope that you're not dwelling on that though. They made their choices, and we made ours. With everything that happened, I don't think there's much we could have done differently."
Analara shrugged again. "What was, was. Once the past is written, it cannot be changed. My old home is lost to me now, but…" She trailed off, stroking his palm again. "But I think, as long as I am with you, I can make a new home here."