He nodded, squeezing my hand. “Thank you, Maryanne. It means a lot to hear that from you.” He ran his palm down his face. “Now, do you want to tell me about these dreams?”
I returned to the couch, tucking my feet up under me and pushing off the images Dad’s story had brought forth, in favor of other, more disturbing ones. “Every time I close my eyes, I see my friends…see Rob…die. The dreams feel like they’re taking over my life. I’m losing track of time.” I told him everything the way Maud asked, the words spilling from my mouth in a rush.
Dad sat on his chair and pulled off his glasses, resting them in his lap. “Have you been to the places you dream about?”
I shook my head. “I recognized Nottingham Castle in the background of one. The other places are entirely figments of my imagination, but the people are those I know.” Mostly.
“It feels real? Like you’re actually there?”
That was exactly how it felt. “So much so, I can’t sleep properly.”
Dad nodded, chewing on the end of his glasses. He looked at Maud, and then nodded.
Maud shuffled forward in her seat, her fingers wrapped around her journal. “Tabitha was very nervous the night she took me through the portal.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “That would be because she basically kidnapped you.”
“It could have been a little of that. But I got the feeling that the trip forward through time can be…messy.”
“Okay.” I drew the word out.
“Just hear her out.” Dad reached around and placed his glasses on the desk behind him.
“She told me that whenever a person traveled forward through time, there was the possibility of them leaving unfinished business behind. She said my dreams would tell me if that was the case. She also told me not to give away my passage back in time. At least, not until I knew for certain I was finished there.”
I shook my head. “Am I supposed to understand what this means?”
“It means the past wants you back, Maryanne.” Dad rested his elbows on his knees as he watched for my reaction. “The dreams are a sign of your unfinished business there. What you see in your dreams are things you would have changed if you’d stayed. If you go back, you can stop them happening. You can save your friends.”
It couldn’t be that easy. “What’s the catch?”
“There are a few.”
Of course there were. “Hit me.” Might as well have all the information.
Dad got to his feet, and walked over to the window again, resting heavily on the sill and staring out into the darkness for a moment before speaking. “It’s most likely a one-way trip.”
“Okay.” So, goodbye to my family would be goodbye for good, which would totally suck. I’d been prepared to do exactly that when I’d decided to stay with Rob, though, so as hard as it would be, I knew it was possible.
“And you’ll need someone to give you their passage through time.” He turned looking between me and Maud.
“That’s where I come in. I have one trip back to my time that I don’t ever intend to use. It’s yours. If you want it.”
“You don’t want to go home?” Not even as a backup option if everything turned to custard with life here? Because that seemed like a huge thing to give away to a near stranger.
Maud shook her head, her smile serene. “I told you already. There are so many possibilities here. Like university. Or travel. Things I’d never get the chance to do or learn about if I returned home. Father would have me married off straight away. No.” She shook her head again. “I will never go back.”
Dad licked his lips, like he was suddenly nervous. “Maud is family. She’ll always have a home here with us. She could never replace you, but we will treat her like a daughter.”
I wasn’t biting, not the way he seemed to expect. Maud deserved a place to call home. I was happy to share mine and glad she had a place to live now.
Dad moved away from the window to sit on the edge of his desk facing me. He smiled, but his eyes were sad. “Maryanne, I want this to be your decision. You can choose to stay. I want you to stay, more than anything.” He swallowed, looking somewhere over my head as he tried to compose himself. Then he drew a deep breath before continuing. “I hate knowing I might never see you again, never see the woman you’re growing into. Maud might look like you, but she isn’t you.” He glanced apologetically at the girl who could be my twin, before returning his gaze to me. Blinking hard, he took another deep breath. “But if you want to go, you have my blessing. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.” His voice wobbled.
I’d wished so many times in the past to hear him say something like this, to hear he cared. For years, I thought he hated me, and I hated myself because of that. I couldn’t stop the smile that formed on my lips. Didn’t even want to. “Thank you,” I whispered.
Maud flicked through her journal, placing her finger in the middle of a page below her ornate writing. “Once you make your decision to stay here or go back, you’ll start to feel more like yourself. The anger and sadness, and everything else you’ve been feeling, will disappear.”
“Along with the dreams?” I hoped she’d say yes.
Maud shook her head. “There are only two ways to stop the dreams. Do something to stop what you see happening…”
I blew out a breath. “Or don’t, and he dies anyway.” What a cheery thought.
“Make that three.” Maud gave a shrug of one shoulder, her voice somber. “The other way to stop them is by telling someone in the past that you’re having dreams and what they’re about.”
I tilted my head, trying to work out why she said that like it was a bad thing. “I can save Rob and stop the dreams just by telling someone about them?” That seemed like the perfect solution. There would be no need to find the place I kept seeing Rob die, no need to figure out when it would happen. Yet neither Maud nor Dad seemed thrilled by this option. Their faces were gloomy, their eyes downcast.
Maud flicked forward another two pages. “According to Tabitha, if you tell anyone, you’ll suffer a violent death.”
“You mean I’ll save Rob but die in the process?” I shook my head. A way out that wasn’t a way out. I shouldn’t even be surprised.
Maud nodded. “That’s what Tabitha said.”
Keeping secrets from Rob was what had started the events that led to me returning home. We’d argued when he realized I was pretending to be Maud Fitzwalter, and everything had spiraled from there. I didn’t want to lie to him again, but if I went back, I’d have no choice in the matter. “This is a hard decision.”
“Only because it’s a one-way trip. If you knew you could come back and see us any time, you’d have made the decision by now.” Dad pushed off the desk, sat next to me on the couch and threw his arm over my shoulders. Just like he used to when I was little. I leaned into him.
Make a choice. That’s what I’d told myself to do earlier tonight. Now there was one right in front of me.
I could do it. Go back. Be part of Rob’s legend.
Or I could stay here.
Either way, I’d be in charge of my life.
Make a choice, then make it happen.
I took a deep breath. I’d known what I wanted since I saw Rob’s face fade into the whiteness as the portal stole me away. “I want to go back.” My words were quiet but deliberate. I’d miss Josh. I’d miss my entire family. At least this time, I could say goodbye. “I want to go back,” I said louder.
Magic swirled around me the moment I spoke. With Maud’s offer accepted, it kicked into life, like a light in my heart, or electricity across my skin. I felt whole again in a way I hadn’t since I returned. I was going back.
To the twelfth century.
To my friends.
To Rob.
“Are you totally sure you want to leave?” Mom’s sandals hung from one hand as the two of us wandered along the beach, water lapping at our toes and the sun beating on our backs
. She glanced quickly my way. “You know it’s not too late to change your mind.”
I was leaving tomorrow. Getting on a plane and flying across the world to the portal in Sherwood Forest. The last few weeks with my family had been amazing, especially my time with Mom. We’d had pedicures, and coffees, and long talks every day. It was everything I’d wanted since Josh’s accident. “I’m sure.” Surer than I’d ever been of anything.
“What if Rob’s not the one?” She made quote marks with her fingers. “Just because your dad believes it, doesn’t mean it’s true.”
I turned, walking backward through the shallow water, unable to stop the smile that spread on my face when I thought about Rob. “He treats me like I’m the most important person in the world. He talks to me like my opinion matters. He trusts me, and I trust him. I want to be part of his legend and I want to save his life.”
She blew out a deep breath. “I know you weren’t getting what you needed from us before you left, but you’ve helped us see what you were missing. We could give you those things, too.”
I smiled, swallowing back the sudden lump in my throat. “I know you can, Mom. But…” I wasn’t changing my mind and I hated disappointing her.
She gave a single nod, then plastered a smile on her face. “They’re lucky to have you. Never forget that.”
I nodded, tears pricking my eyes. Just because I wanted to go back didn’t mean I was looking forward to leaving. “Any other wise words you want to pass on?” My voice was thick with tears. I turned away so Mom couldn’t see them. She was sad enough; I didn’t want to make her feel worse.
She pulled me into a hug. “I have so many things I want to tell you and no time to say the words.” She drew in a deep breath, letting go of me. We started along the beach again. “Just remember how much we love you. We’ll always love you that much, no matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen you. And trust in Rob. If things get tough, remember how you felt about him here, today.” She took my hand and squeezed. “You’re going to be fine.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I whispered. “You’re going to be fine, too.”
My entire family, including Maud, came to see me off at the airport the next day. It would take three flights and a taxi to end up at the Major Oak. Mom and Dad offered to come to England with me. I’d refused. It would be harder to leave with them standing there watching. We could say goodbye just as well here.
I’d had no nightmares since I made my decision and I felt better than I had in weeks. The dark cloud that had hovered over me since I’d come back disappeared with the dreams, just like Maud said it would.
I hugged Carrie goodbye.
“Thank you,” she whispered, squeezing me tight.
“What for?”
“For letting me go back to Mom that day in the forest.” There were tears in her voice. “I wouldn’t have been as good as you were in the past. I’d probably have died.”
She underestimated herself. She could have done it. If she’d had to. I was just glad she didn’t. “It’s okay. I think it was me he needed to send anyway.”
A sob escaped from where her face was buried in my neck.
I hugged her tighter. “It’s okay, Carrie. I didn’t want to go that day, but I do today.” Apart from the goodbyes. They were never fun.
She pulled back. “Make sure those people, that family you talked about, look after you.” Tears ran down her cheeks.
“They will. Make sure you look after yourself.” Make sure you keep trying to eat was what I meant. Not something I could say without putting her under pressure, and I didn’t want to do that. I’d talked to Mom about her though, and they had a plan going forward to help her heal.
She nodded. “I’m trying.”
Josh pried us apart and climbed into my arms. “I got you something.” Tears streamed down his face, too.
How had I ever wondered if these people missed me? The darkness of the dreams had a lot to answer for. “You did?”
He nodded. “I got the idea when you were buying presents for your friends in the past.”
I did have presents for Miller, Tuck, John and Rob in my bag. What Josh didn’t know was that I’d left him, Carrie, Mom and Dad a present each that they could open on Christmas Day. Maud had them. I’d given her enough to last the next five years. I really hoped Josh didn’t forget me after that.
He pressed a package into my hands. “Don’t open it yet. Save it. Until you miss us.”
Tears made my eyes swim. “But I miss you already.”
He smiled. “Wait until you miss us more.”
Mom hugged me for so long I thought she’d never let go. When she finally did, she couldn’t speak. She was crying too hard. She moved aside.
“Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, Maryanne.” He gave me a hug. “You make me prouder than you’ll ever know. I know you don’t believe that, but it’s true. I love you so much.”
Dad was proud of me and he loved me. It was all I needed to hear. “I love you, too, Dad.”
“I’ll spend my days looking for your name in history texts, Maryanne. Believe me, I’ll be following your life however I can.”
I nodded goodbye to Maud and bent to pick up my pack. I’d get rid of this modern one at the Major Oak. Inside was a hessian bag I’d use to carry my things when I got back to the twelfth century. Maud stepped forward with her hand outstretched. “Could you give this back to Gisborne for me if you get the chance? I don’t think it’s fair I keep it knowing I’ll never go back to him.” Between her finger and thumb was the emerald engagement ring Gisborne once gave her.
I hesitated. I’d seen Gisborne take a sword to his stomach. As far as I knew, he was dead.
She pressed the ring into my hand. “Just give it to him when you get the chance. There’s no hurry.”
I sighed inwardly and slipped it into my pocket. “You know he might be dead, right?”
“You saw him in your dreams.” She shrugged. “I think he’s still alive, but if not, sell it and use the gold however you need. I don’t want to keep holding onto the past.”
I didn’t want to have to hunt Gisborne down. I’d rather not see him at all. But Maud was staring with hope-filled eyes and I couldn’t say no. I ran three fingers down the side of my face where Eliza’s scar ran. “Good job. With Eliza.”
Her eyes widened. “You know about that?”
“She has a scar. Like I said, good job.” Eliza Thatcher was one of my least favorite people on this earth. After what she’d done to Maud, she deserved worse than a scar on her face.
Maud took another step forward, whispering in my ear. “Listen, I didn’t know whether to say this or not, and I don’t know him well. I just think you should watch Tuck. I once saw him take a bribe.”
I frowned, twisting to look at her, to make certain she was serious. “Are you sure?” Because that didn’t sound like the Tuck I knew. He was prickly, for sure, but he was also honest to a fault.
She nodded. “He didn’t know I was watching until after. He wasn’t happy when he saw me.”
“That’s why he doesn’t like you? Me.” Tuck and I had never seen eye to eye. He’d once mentioned he knew Maud, but I’d never thought any more about it.
Maud nodded.
“Who from?” I had so many questions.
“Jerimiah Woodhurst.” The man who’d tried to kill Dad and who Rob had called Father.
Somehow, I wasn’t surprised. “What was the bribe for?”
Dad stepped between us. “Last call, Maryanne. Time to go be Robin Hood’s Marian.”
I glanced at Maud. She shook her head. Either she didn’t know, or she didn’t have time to tell me.
FIVE
“You lied.”
Tabitha finally showed up at the Major Oak after I’d knocked on the rough bark of the ancient tree three times. She’d taken just long enough that panic increased my heart rate and I started to wonder if Dad was wrong about me being able to
go back. Because I was worried, I was more than a little annoyed when she finally arrived.
She shrugged, regal as always. “Technically, I didn’t. It was more of an omission.” Total omission. If Maud hadn’t known about the dreams or that she could give me her passage back through time, I’d never have found out.
I bristled. She knew how much I wanted to return to the twelfth century. “You could have told me there was a way to go back.”
Another shrug, this one with pursed lips. “My sister doesn’t want you there.”
“Well, Eliza’s going to be sadly disappointed.”
Tabitha gave one of her long, slow blinks. “Are you ready?”
I nodded. I was more prepared than the last two times I’d done this.
She touched my shoulder and I waited to open my eyes beneath the Big Tree in the twelfth century. Instead, I found myself flanked by Tabitha, in a white room, bright with hidden lights. A black beanbag sat in one corner, a navy-blue occasional chair in another. Tabitha touched the wall with the tips of her fingers, and a drawer opened. She pulled out a thick textbook and fell into the chair, hooking her legs over one arm.
“Where are we?” Because I didn’t remember a waiting room the last two times I’d done this.
“The portal.” She licked her finger and flicked through the pages until she found what she was searching for.
I backed up a step, into the wall. There were no doors that I could see, no windows. And that drawer, now closed again, was completely hidden. “It wasn’t like this the other times.”
“It was.” Her eyes remained on her page. “You slept through it.” She nodded to the bean bag without looking up. “Take a seat. It takes time to travel back eight hundred years.”
“Why aren’t I sleeping this time?” I needed her to answer some questions before I sat quietly and waited. I needed to know she wasn’t playing some elaborate hoax.
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