by Penny Reid
“You have a history with Jack?”
I nodded. “He was my high school boyfriend.”
Drew frowned. “I thought you were smarter than that.”
A spike of irritation shot up my spine and I stepped away from him, the day’s events and lingering adrenaline fueling my blunt response. “Not that I need to explain myself to you, but growing up, Jackson James was the only person other than my momma who didn’t see me as an ignorant, disposable piece of ass. He saw more in me than what I looked like. At least, I thought he did. But the years have given me wisdom. I’ve learned that no amount of good intentions or education on my part are going to change people’s first impressions of me, or seeing what they want to see. I might be able to debate the merits of Gestalt theory with acuity and confidence, but that doesn’t make a lick of difference if the other person isn’t even listening. So I guess you could say that I am smarter than that now.”
Drew’s eyes sparked hot and fierce as I spoke, but I got the impression the ferocity wasn’t directed at me. When I finished, he was once again glaring at me with his trademark heated intensity, but it was subdued and hesitant like he was trying to rein himself in. Several long moments passed, our bodies swaying toward each other. I felt like I was being pulled toward him, I was dizzy with it.
Or maybe it was just low blood sugar.
I broke the silence, no longer able to tolerate the electrified tension between us. “I can drive myself, you know. I did drive here earlier. Momma’s car is down the hill.”
Drew frowned, his eyes moving over my body, assessing me. “When’s the last time you ate?”
I stared at him and rewound the day. When I came up empty, I rewound yesterday. I swallowed and said, “I had a bagel.”
“When?”
“For breakfast.”
“When?”
I pressed my lips together and scowled. “Yesterday.”
He watched me for a beat, but before he could issue his retort, I yielded. “Fine. You have a good point. I shouldn’t be driving when I’m exhausted and lightheaded from hunger. Point made and conceded. Moving on….”
I rocked on my feet, feeling slightly dizzy, and I had to take a step back and hold on to the table to steady myself. Drew wrapped his arm around my back to keep me upright.
“I’m carrying you,” he growled, though he didn’t sound put out. Mostly he sounded determined.
“Don’t be stupid,” I said and pushed him away. “I can walk.”
“Ash….” My name was a whisper close to my ear. “Let me help you.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“You needed it earlier.”
“I didn’t need you. I just needed your gun.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Drew close his eyes slowly, his mouth pressing into a stiff line. I couldn’t tell if he was upset or trying to keep himself from blurting that’s what she said.
At length he cleared his throat and lifted me into his arms. I thought about pitching a fit but decided against it. Really, I only had enough energy for an eye roll.
“I’m carrying you down the hill.”
“Fine.”
“Then I’m driving.”
“Whatever.”
“After that you’re going to eat.”
“Okay.”
“Then you’ll sleep.”
“Sounds great.”
Drew glared down at me in his arms and mumbled, “‘Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.’”
Good Lord, I must’ve been half-unhinged, because that Nietzsche quote made me laugh.
CHAPTER 10
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen
Drew gave me a protein bar when we reached his truck. He motioned to it with his hand and his chin, indicating that I should eat it. I surmised we were now past the point where he felt it necessary to issue verbal commands. Mere gestures had become completely acceptable.
The only time Drew spoke to me during the drive was when I reached for the brown leather-bound notebook in the center console of the truck.
“Don’t touch that.” He snatched it away from me and placed it in the driver’s side door pocket.
I held my hands up, gripping the empty protein bar wrapper in one fist. “Fine. I wasn’t going to read it. I was just moving it so I could put the wrapper in the cup holder. What is it, anyway, your diary?”
His grip on the steering wheel tightened, and he appeared to be tremendously intent on the road even though he could probably drive these switchbacks blindfolded.
Abruptly he ground out, “It’s field notes. Don’t touch it again.”
We didn’t speak again during the drive, and soon I was lulled to sleep by the ups and downs and twists and turns of the mountain road.
I woke up on a couch that I didn’t recognize in a very dim, unfamiliar room. I must have slept a long time because I could see the moon through a series of windows that spanned and entire wall. The moon cast everything in a pale, silvery light that reminded me of Drew’s eyes…and that thought made me feel warm and discombobulated. Therefore, I pushed it away.
Then I noticed that I wasn’t wearing my jeans.
I twisted my neck to get a better look at my surroundings. The other three walls were lined with bookcases, which, if my eyes could be believed, were stuffed with books to the point of overflowing. Other than the shelves, the room was outfitted with the brown leather couch I was laying on, a large wooden side table, two big leather club chairs, and a thick wooden coffee table. An acoustic guitar rested on a stand in the far corner.
I decided I liked the room. It felt like a real place, a place where I could knit and read, or lay in the moonlight and watch shooting stars as I gazed out the wall of windows.
I was covered with a sheet, which I tugged to the side, blinking as I sat upright and listening for a sign as to where I was and what I should do next. I heard a noise and spotted light from under a door I’d initially failed to notice. Feeling like the door was the obvious choice, I gained my feet and walked to it.
Once opened, I followed the sounds of dishes and pots, which also happened to be the source of the light. Tiptoeing around the corner, I found Drew at a gas stove stirring a steaming pot of something that smelled delicious before tasting it and adding salt.
He asked without looking up. “How are you feeling?”
I leaned against the doorframe. “Thirsty and…confused.”
Drew’s eyes flickered to mine, his brows drawn together. “Let me get you some water.”
I watched him as he moved around the kitchen, grabbing me a glass and filling it with tap water. He was wearing dark blue jeans that fit him quite nicely, low around his hips, accentuated by a thick brown leather belt. Regrettably, he wasn’t shirtless; he had on a white T-shirt that also fit him quite nicely. He walked toward me holding out the cup of water.
I accepted it with thanks and downed its contents, fresh and pure as a mountain stream, and felt instantly better. He stood in front of me, his hands resting on his hips. I felt his eyes moving over my body, which was still shrouded in his giant (and now dirty) T-shirt.
His belt buckle was rather big; the entire thing was the word SAVAGE. He was also barefoot, and I noticed that he had nice feet.
“Do you want more?” He asked as his eyes moved from my feet to my neck then to the purple bruises on my arms.
“No, thank you.” I licked my lips and glanced around the room.
“Feeling better?”
“Yes, thank you.” My eyes were consuming the sight of his kitchen. It was perfect. The counters were thick butcher block; his sink was oversized porcelain. The cabinets were painted a slate gray, almost blue, and the walls were pale yellow. It was uncluttered and charming and spacious. It looked like it should have been part of a movie set.
“I love your house.” I said this without knowing I was going to
say it.
Drew took the glass from my hand, our fingers brushing. The contact startled me and brought my attention back to him. His hand loitered, covering mine for several seconds as our gazes clashed.
He cleared his throat before responding. “Thank you. It’s a good spot.”
“A good spot?”
“Yeah. We’re on Bandit Lake.” He tipped his head toward the window above the sink where nothing was visible except an inky night sky.
“Whoa…really?”
He nodded. I noted his expression was one of hesitant pride. He should be proud; owning a place on Bandit Lake was more difficult than convincing a pig to take a shower. The houses were deeded to families and couldn’t be sold. If the owners wanted to leave, they had to sell to the federal government because the land was part of the national park.
Each house sat on several acres and surrounded an exceptionally pristine lake at the summit of the mountain just ten miles from the parkway.
The lake used to be a gold mine in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. It was eventually abandoned, and the gaping hole was filled with water. The lake allowed only trolling motors—so no gasoline engines—and had no runoff from fertilizers or other chemicals. It was on the top of the world and was one of the cleanest lakes in the United States. It was also very well stocked with fish.
How he’d managed to nab the house likely made for a fascinating story.
“We’re facing west. The sunsets are momentous.”
I quirked a smile at his use of the word momentous to describe a sunset.
“I’ll have to check it out sometime…” I said, and with these words I remembered where I was and who I was with and why I was confused by both. “Hey, so, why are we here?”
Drew stared at me for a beat and seemed to struggle—like he was restraining himself—before he turned back to the stove.
“What you do you mean?” His attention was once again focused on his pot of steaming something.
“I mean, why didn’t you take me home?”
“I stopped by your house. Cletus packed a bag for you; it’s in the bathroom.”
“Why didn’t you just leave me there?”
Drew sighed. “Because someone needs to take care of you, and your brothers have their hands full right now with your momma.”
This logic made no sense at all.
“I can take care of me,” I said, pointing out the obvious.
His gaze lifted from the pot where he’d just added a pinch of mystery spice, and pinned me where I stood. His expression was unreadable and unnerving. I felt like he’d decided something about me since we’d last exchanged words. He was much cooler and more reserved now. The light in his eyes had dimmed considerably.
Finally, he said, “I know.” Then he looked back at the pot.
“You do?” I asked the room, making no attempt to hide my confusion. “Then why am I here?”
This elicited a sigh. “Because you need to eat, and I need to eat, and I have soup and bread and pie.”
“You have soup and bread and pie?”
He nodded, still studying the pot.
I sniffed the air, realizing that the room smelled like chicken soup, fresh bread, and mystery pie of the dessert variety. My stomach noticed too, because it rumbled. Suddenly I was starving. Soup and bread and pie sounded really, really good.
“What kind of pie?” I stepped farther into the kitchen and searched the counter for pie.
“Pecan pie.”
I shrugged to hide my pleasure. I loved pecan pie. So did my momma. Suddenly, I felt guilty for having pecan pie. Maybe I could bring her back a piece. Maybe she could have a bite.
“Your stuff is already in the bathroom. Go take a shower. Then we can eat.” Drew basically dismissed me by turning from the steaming pot and busying himself with the dishes. I stared at his back for a few seconds and noted that his hair was damp. He must’ve already showered.
I glanced at my hands. They were dirty and scraped. In fact, I was dirty all over. I hadn’t really noticed.
On autopilot, I shuffled out of the kitchen and down the hall. I had made it ten steps when I heard his voice call out, “It’s the third door on the left.”
With these instructions, I found the bathroom easily. He was right. Cletus had packed me a bag. It contained exactly two pairs of underwear and three sets of tank top pajamas. Unfortunately, he’d neglected to include anything else, like appropriate clothes, a bra, or toiletries.
I leaned out the bathroom door and hollered to Drew, “Can I use your soap?”
There was a brief moment of silence before he called back, “Yeah, sure. Use whatever you need.”
I surveyed the shower-tub combo, found soap and shampoo. I also found his razor by the sink and shaving cream. For no good reason other than the satisfaction I would get by dulling his razor, I decided to shave my legs. Besides, what did he need a razor for? Didn’t Vikings manscape using knives?
I snooped around the cabinet looking for conditioner. I was pretty sure he used conditioner. His blond hair was long and wavy and lustrous. It looked soft to the touch….
These thoughts made me mentally facepalm, because I shouldn’t be thinking about Drew’s lustrous locks when I was about to get naked in his house. In fact, I made a mental note to never think about Drew’s lustrous locks.
I was about to shut the cabinet when several bottles of dark brown glass caught my eye. I picked one up and read the label.
“Ketamine….” I whispered to the bathroom. I glanced up at the mirror and saw that my eyes were large and wide. Ketamine was a controlled substance and was used as an anesthetic. The fact that he had multiple glass bottles of it stocked in his bathroom cabinet only served to solidify his image in my mind’s eye as a marauding man of mystery.
I wasn’t exactly made anxious by the discovery; more like creeped out and uneasy. Not helping matters, an owl chose that exact moment to hoot. It gave me a shiver and an intense sensation of hootiedoom.
I fought another shiver, telling my overactive imagination to hush, and abandoned my search for conditioner.
Stripping naked, I jumped into the shower. I soaped and rinsed twice. I washed my hair twice. Then I shaved my legs. When I was finished, the faucet was running cold. I had used all the hot water.
It felt good to be clean.
I frowned at this thought because my shower earlier in the day hadn’t felt nearly as cleansing or necessary. Even though, one could argue, I was dirtier this morning after a showerless week than I had been after a rabid raccoon attack.
I dressed in my pajamas—similar to the ones Drew had seen me in when we’d first met and I’d twisted his nipple—and made my way back to the kitchen using his comb to brush my hair. Drew was just placing bowls of hot soup on the table. I noted that two slices of homemade bread were also at each place.
“Where do you keep your utensils?” I walked to the drawer closest to the dishwasher and opened it, searching for spoons.
“On the end, top drawer….”
Something about the way he said drawer made me stop and look up. He was frowning at me.
“What are you wearing?”
I glanced down at myself then back at him. “My pajamas.”
“Are you staying the night?” His voice was tight.
I shrugged, growing irritated, my neck heating. “How am I supposed to know? I didn’t know I was going to be eating here either. This is all Cletus packed. It’s a bag full of pajamas and no bras.”
He did that slow-eye-closing thing again and his chin dropped to his chest. When he spoke next, he spoke to the floor. “Would you feel more comfortable in one of my T-shirts?”
I studied him for a beat, a bit taken aback by his reaction to me in my PJs. I noted the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands were balled into fists. Sandra’s words of warning echoed in my head while I tried to bat them away with facts.
Fact One: His perpetual grumpy face whenever I was around.
Fact Two: If he were interested in me, then why had he disappeared and avoided eye contact for the last two weeks?
Fact Three: Fiction-handsome meant vessel of Satan.
I knew I wasn’t making any sense. I had no idea in that moment what I thought—about Sandra’s prediction or anything else—other than food smelled really, really good for the first time in almost three weeks, and I was going to eat it and like it. I’d just flashed a bear Mardi Gras style and fought off a rabid raccoon. I was starving.
Drew might be attracted to me. As well, he might find me crass, trashy, repugnant, and annoying—a nice piece of ass, a pretty face, with a low class accent. His propensity to avoid looking at me could mean either of those things, especially since we were about to eat.
Because I found the former theory (attracted to me) inconvenient and outside the realm of my comfortable reality, I decided to embrace the latter (annoyed by me) instead.
I rationalized it this way: better to be oblivious to a flirtation than mistake kindness for flirting. One made you clueless; the other made you pathetic.
And none of this mattered, because he lived in Tennessee and I lived in Chicago, and nary the twain shall meet.
Therefore, I asked, “Would you feel more comfortable if I were wearing one of your T-shirts?”
His eyes lifted to mine, his mouth a firm line. He looked both bothered and hot…or maybe hot and bothered. I couldn’t tell which. Drew nodded.
“Fine.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced at the stove, feeling tremendously self-conscious. “Go get me a T-shirt. I’ll grab the spoons.”
***
I wore one of his clean T-shirts—extra-large, black—and again I was swimming in it.
We ate in silence until Drew volunteered—after my second helping of chicken soup—that we weren’t eating chicken soup. It was pheasant soup, not to be confused with peasant soup, which is what I thought he’d said at first.
This conjured images of Drew the Viking chopping up serfs for dinner.
“Many of the local hunters like to leave gifts of game for the rangers and wardens.”