by Chris T. Kat
Not even the face he pulled at me could conceal the prettiness. “You have a knack for killing a perfectly good mood.”
“Uh… what?”
“Has no one ever told you that men are handsome and not pretty?”
“I didn’t say—”
“Oh, you did. You said,” he made quoting gestures with his fingers, “God, you’re so pretty.”
“Well, you are pretty. For a man. You don’t look… see, it’s not….” I trailed off, helplessly searching for the right words. When had I changed into such an awkward, stammering tool?
“Shut up.”
I raised my eyebrows. This simple gesture had a priceless effect on Alex. His eyes widened as he stared down at me. My hands stroked from his knees over his thighs until they came to rest on his buttocks, which caused Alex to shiver. After dropping my voice a notch, I said, “I’m in charge and not you, remember?”
“Maybe I need a reminder?”
The temptation to remind him rose inside me but concern for his well-being put a halt to it. I was a big man and Alex had seemed to be pretty sore after last night’s session. I ran a finger lightly along his crack, testing his reaction. He sucked in a deep breath and his hands clutched my shoulders almost painfully.
“Are you sure you’re up to being reminded?”
“Absolutely.”
His answer would have been more convincing had his eyes not veered away instantly. Still, he should know what he could take or not. I reached out for the lube, poured a dollop in my hand, warmed it, and smeared it around his hole. I circled my finger around his entrance, rubbed teasingly, and without warning breached him. A pained hiss escaped Alex’s mouth, causing me to hastily withdraw my finger.
Alex dropped his forehead on my chest, his breath coming in labored little gasps, followed by a muttered, “Shit.”
We lay like this for a long time, neither of us speaking or moving. Awkward.
I cleared my throat and Alex’s head snapped up. His blond curls fell onto his forehead, one long strand obscuring his left eye, and he smiled sheepishly. I couldn’t help but smile back. What was it that was so disarming about Alex?
I rolled us around so Alex lay on his back. As I propped myself up on all fours above him, I caught him peering at my arms. Frowning, I asked, “Something wrong?”
“Wrong? No. I was just… admiring the view.”
Alex reached out and tentatively stroked his fingers over my biceps. He touched lightly, a flutter, barely recognizable. Why did my skin tingle wherever he touched me? His voice caught me by surprise, “You’re so strong. It’s… I like that.”
I grinned down at his flushed face. Definitely the prettiest guy I’d ever laid my eyes on, even more so now that he was flustered. No one had ever looked at me like Alex did. Never had I imagined I’d want anyone to look at me with such open hunger and desire. Neither could I believe how intensely I responded.
Putting those introspective thoughts aside, I pulled him into a sitting position. He crossed his legs behind my back and I wrapped an arm around his waist. I snaked my other arm between us, aligned our cocks, and stroked; up and down, up and down. Alex’s breath hitched. He clung to my neck, panting and sometimes garbling encouragements. Not that I needed them.
I nudged my nose against his cheek, forced him to tip his head back and give me access to his mouth. He opened his mouth for my tongue, groaning when I flicked my tongue against his. A surge of heat rushed through me.
My balls ached and the smell of sex and semen filled my nose. Alex pushed into my hand in a frenzied way when a loud chirp froze us. Alex cursed, impressively so.
“Come on, he can wait five minutes,” I coaxed.
Alex shook his head. “He’ll wake up the whole neighborhood if I don’t go now.” He glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand. “It’s not even seven on a Sunday morning. I’m sorry.”
Alex disentangled himself from me and I just sat there and stared, presumably rather dumbfounded. Unbelievable.
“You’re going to silence your little brother instead of finishing here?”
“I’m sorry.”
I watched Alex tucking himself into his sleep pants. Licking my lips, I stared at the thick line of his erection, clearly visible in those thin pants. Alex glanced at the door of his bedroom, then back at me. I fondled my balls, which elicited a distressed groan from Alex. He knelt on the edge of the bed, his arms reaching out for me when another chirp, this time ear piercing, ripped through the silence. I gritted my teeth in frustration.
Alex touched my cheek briefly, his dark eyes full of emotions before he sighed in defeat. A series of loud, angry chirps caused Alex to bolt. I called after him. “Mind if I take a cold shower?”
“Nope. Just wait a second, okay? I have to swaddle Sean first.”
My erection deflated like a pricked balloon. My imagination even served up a swooshing sound. Alex had to swaddle Sean. That translated into Sean wearing diapers, right? Wasn’t he six years old? Gross. Absolutely gross.
To myself I muttered, “Never mind. It’s all taken care of.”
I put on my boxers and shirt and peered out of the bedroom. Alex carried Sean to the bathroom and, like the last times, Sean gazed at me over Alex’s shoulder. The boy’s face was wrinkled, giving him an even more unusual appearance. Drool ran out of his mouth in a steady stream, right over Alex’s bare shoulder. It wasn’t exactly a revolting sight, but I couldn’t pretend to be unfazed by it, either. I forced myself to swallow and briefly looked away.
Sean emitted a soft sound, something close to a mewl. Alex twisted his upper body to look at me. The smile on his face turned into defeated recognition in an instant. I didn’t want to see that look on his face, nor did I want to be the source of it. I also couldn’t pretend to be cheerful and not untouched by what I saw. What did that say about me?
I thumped my forehead against the threshold of the bedroom door after the bathroom door clicked shut. Sean hadn’t done anything wrong and he sure as hell couldn’t do anything about his condition. I still couldn’t get past my feeling of resentment toward him. Alex loved this child I viewed as strange, and I… I was falling badly for Alex. As much as Alex seemed to like me, he didn’t like my reactions to his brother. I sighed. Not a good combination all around.
I trudged back into Alex’s bedroom, gathered my clothes in my arms, and went to the living room, where I stared out of the window until I heard the bathroom door open again. Alex called out for me, “The bathroom is all yours if you want.”
He sounded so normal, as if nothing remarkable had just happened. Maybe it hadn’t. Or he was used to other people freaking out upon seeing his brother. Either way I felt like an ass. As I turned around to walk to the bathroom, I saw Alex and Sean standing in the doorway of the living room.
I blinked. Alex held Sean so he could stand on his own. That wasn’t what forced me into immobility, though. Sean stood there, already dressed in jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, and a big bandana securely bound around his neck. He wasn’t the most beautiful sight to behold but I didn’t feel disgusted either. Sean looked like a normal boy, if a tad on the pale and hollow side. A living proof: clothes did make people after all.
“Thanks,” I mumbled when I pushed past them, “I’ll be quick.”
“You better be. I’m making scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast,” Alex declared.
Sean squealed in delight and Alex grinned.
“You like to cook?”
“Me?” Alex asked, shocked. Sean giggled and Alex ruffled his hair playfully. “Scrambling eggs and boiling pasta is all I can do. I hate cooking. It’s a good thing that there are cafeterias at work and school. Otherwise we’d eat the same stuff every other day.”
“It’s not that hard to cook.”
Alex spared me a doubtful glare. “It totally is. Thank God for the invention of frozen meals and McDonald’s.”
He had to be kidding me. “You’re kidding me, right? How can you raise a child without kn
owing how to cook?”
“Like I said, I don’t like it and we get along very well.”
“What about holidays? Or is Sean enrolled in some other program during that time?”
Alex broke our eye contact and busied himself with steering Sean in the direction of the kitchen. He shrugged in what probably should have been a carefree, nonchalant gesture. He couldn’t keep his embarrassment from shining brightly through this gesture. Being embarrassed didn’t seem to be a valued feeling for Alex. He bit out, “We get along fine and it’s none of your business anyway.”
Him being right made any kind of discussion pointless. I turned to finally walk to the bathroom, all the while shaking my head. None of my business.
I wouldn’t even be here if not for that threatening letter. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t have known Alex’s last name or where he lived or that he took care of his disabled little brother without our investigation.
I wouldn’t have gotten laid last night, either.
I began to tangle myself up in a difficult net of emotions, some strong, some weak, some very vague. Point was that I couldn’t let it happen. I shouldn’t mix work with my love life. It could only end in disaster. Only Parker knew about my homosexuality and I liked it that way. I would have liked it better without Parker knowing, but as I didn’t have that memory-removing apparatus Men in Black always had handy, I gracefully accepted reality.
Or at least I accepted those parts which I absolutely couldn’t ignore.
All these highly unentertaining thoughts whirled through my mind as I mechanically took a quick shower, toweled off, and dressed again. All in all, I needed little more than five minutes.
When I emerged from the bathroom, the smell of freshly sizzling bacon mixed with eggs drifted to me. I approached the kitchen where I watched Alex toasting slices of bread and sometimes stirring the mass of eggs. My loudly rumbling stomach proclaimed my arrival shortly after.
Alex glanced at me and chuckled. “I see I’m not the only one who regrets forgetting about dinner.”
I nodded. For a reason unknown to me, my throat felt tight and words wouldn’t come out. The sun sent the first strays of light through the windowpane and illuminated Alex’s disheveled blond curls. The only descriptions coming to my mind included words like beautiful and edible.
I looked away and took a seat at the table. Alex turned back to his cooking while I wondered about him not being angry. What was up with him? He had seen how I had looked at his beloved little brother. More importantly, he had understood the meaning of my look. Yet, here I was, sitting at his kitchen table where he intended to serve me breakfast.
Sainthood—that had to be it.
“When will you be sure if the letter is a real, um, you know….”
So much for my sainthood theory. I was here because of my profession. Did that convert the sex last night into bribery? To ensure Sean’s safety? It would make things easy; no strings attached. Just how I liked it.
Alex set a mug of coffee in front of me. He touched my shoulder fleetingly before he retreated to the stove.
“Thanks,” I said.
“You looked as if you were in need of caffeine. Or a hug.”
I stared at his back and heard myself saying, “You only satisfied one of my needs.”
“I wasn’t sure how grateful you’d be if I fulfilled your other need.”
“Do you want to find out?”
Who the hell decided how I talked? I didn’t sound like myself anymore. Not at all.
Alex shoveled eggs and bacon on three plates and carried the first two to the table. He put one down in front of Sean and the other one in front of me. In fascination, I watched myself holding out an arm. Alex hesitated but followed my invitation after a short time. He slung his hands around my head, pulled me against his body, and squeezed. My eyes fluttered shut on their own accord as I squeezed his waist.
I could feel and hear his heart pounding in his chest, giving away his excitement. Or was it nervousness? Fear? Agitation? I didn’t know. I sure as hell shouldn’t care either way.
Sean chirped and the tenderness of the moment evaporated. My eyes snapped open when Alex pulled away. I glowered at Sean, who cocked his head to one side, studying me intensely. Sean frowned at me, which didn’t improve my mood one single bit.
Alex cleared his throat loudly as he got his own plate and sat down next to Sean.
“Dig in,” he told me cheerfully.
Obviously, he pretended not to be aware of Sean’s and my scowling contest. I played along. Chewing and doing his best to keep his mouth shut distracted Sean. While I ate my own breakfast, I observed Alex cutting Sean’s food in neat little heaps, helping him close his mouth every time he took a bite and, in between, managing to take an occasional bite of the food on his plate. Everything was well-practiced, flowing seamlessly like perfectly rehearsed choreography.
Something bothered me, though. “Why are you feeding him today?”
Alex raised one delicate, blond eyebrow, clearly asking me if I was crazy. To clarify, I added, “You let him hold the fork in his hand yesterday evening. Why aren’t you doing it now?”
A light blush formed on Alex cheeks. “He’s clumsier in the morning, and sometimes we take the easy route and I simply feed him.”
“Sounds logical to me.” Why did Alex blush as if I had caught him doing something forbidden?
Chapter 14
WE FINISHED breakfast and I excused myself to call Parker. After a few rings, I contemplated hanging up when Parker’s sleepy voice said, “‘lo?”
“Hey, Parker, it’s Jeff. Why are you still sleeping?”
I heard Parker murmuring something, and then the indubitable smacking sound of a kiss reached my ear. Bedding rustled as Parker obviously got up and out of bed. A door clicked shut and a more awake Parker said, “I was worn out and I still have maybe an hour left to be at the station in time.”
“Too much information, and you’ll never make it in time.”
“I will if you don’t stall me for more than two minutes.”
“What about the letter?”
“Forensics wasn’t available last night. There was a big accident involving multiple cars on the Expressway. They were busy. I’ll go down and ask when I get to work. Williams takes the threat seriously. Either you’ll stay with Alex and the boy, or someone else will come over.” Parker rattled the information off.
Brusquely, I asked, “How many people injured?”
“Twenty-one and three dead. Seven of the twenty-one are in critical condition.”
I swallowed hard. I should be immune to death by now. I worked homicide, dammit. Hearing about dead people wasn’t new for me. Yet, car crashes always affected me deeply. My own parents had died in a mass collision. My mother had been killed instantly, but my father was able to get me out of the wreck before the car exploded. He was hit by a piece of flying debris and died with me sitting next to him, holding his hand. I had been ten years old at that time.
“Jeff? Are you still there, man?”
I shook myself from my reverie and pulled myself together. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. So, who’s going to come over to look after Alex and Sean?”
“Don’t you want to stay there?”
“No, I’ll come to the station and we can get on with our interviews.”
It would be inappropriate for me to stay with Alex, wouldn’t it? Not that it really mattered because we had already slept together last night, which certainly fell into the incredibly inappropriate category.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I snapped, “why wouldn’t I be?”
Parker drew in a sharp breath. “Your choice, man. No one but me knows about you and Alex.”
“There is nothing to know about Alex and me!”
“Other than that you had sex with me last night?”
I whirled around, my heart thundering in my ribcage. I cursed. Why didn’t I hear Alex approaching? “I didn’t mean—”
�
��I know exactly what you meant. My bad that I interpreted more into it. Wouldn’t be the first time,” Alex told me. “I’m going to take a shower. Sean will be with me in the bathroom. I want you gone by the time we get out.”
“Man, you have a talent of putting your foot in your mouth,” Parker drawled in my ear.
I watched Alex walking toward the kitchen. I had wanted this, right? A convenient fuck, no big emotions involved and all. Emotions only get in the way and make life way too complicated. Distractedly, I said to Parker, “Send someone over, call me, and let me know who it’s going to be. I’ll be at the station as soon as another officer is here.”
I didn’t give Parker the chance to reply. I hurried after Alex, who picked up Sean.
“Alex,” I said. I carded my fingers through my hair, simply to give my hands something to do. More words eluded me.
“What? Wasn’t I clear enough?”
“You were more than clear. Another officer will come over soon and look after you both. Forensics is overburdened at the moment and until we know more we have to take that threat seriously.”
Alex gaped at me. Sean chirped and bumped his head against his brother’s, causing Alex to wince.
“Easy, baby,” he murmured.
Alex tucked a strand of hair behind Sean’s left ear. The tenderness of that gesture struck something deep inside me. I looked away in discomfort.
Alex’s soft voice pulled me back and I gazed at him. “Is this really necessary?”
“Better safe than sorry, right? You don’t want anything to happen to—”