by Chris T. Kat
I DROVE by my own apartment, where I stuffed some essentials into a sports bag. Ignoring the tingling unease that seemed to wind its way up from the base of my spine to my head, I rushed back to the car. During the drive to Alex’s place, I became more and more on edge, as I still didn’t know what to say to him.
I parked on the side of the street opposite Alex’s building, close to the spot where I had seen the mysterious man standing last night. After throwing the bag over my shoulder, I strode over to the house and called Chandler’s cell.
“Hey Chandler, it’s me, Woods. I’m here to relieve you.”
“All right,” I heard him say shortly before the door opened.
I followed him inside to the living room, where Alex lay sprawled on the floor next to Sean, blowing soap bubbles into the air. Sean chirped when he saw me. For some reason, he didn’t seem to be overly surprised to see me again. Neither did he seem to mind. I couldn’t say the same for Alex.
“What the fuck are you doing here again?”
“I’ll be here for the night to look after you two.”
Alex got to his feet. “No. Absolutely not.”
Chandler frowned while he rested his hand on Alex’s bare forearm in a calming gesture. Alex pulled his arm free abruptly. A look of curiosity replaced Chandler’s frown. He cast a quick glance toward me. I shrugged, indicating I had no clue to whatever was going on.
“Mr. Fisher, is there any problem with detective Woods staying with you?”
I gritted my teeth when Alex opened his mouth. He snapped it closed with an audible click. He held himself stiffly and his voice dripped ice as he replied, “No, there’s no problem other than that he’s probably tired and won’t be able to do a proper job of protecting us.”
I gaped.
Chandler fared way better than I. After blinking away his astonishment, he cleared his throat and used his most placating voice to tell Alex, “Mr. Fisher, be assured that Detective Woods wouldn’t be assigned to stay with you if he weren’t fit enough.”
“Oh, is that so.” Alex sneered.
He sneered, for Christ’s sake! I had the sudden urge to shake him, but instead of giving in, I beckoned Chandler to me with a curt nod. “Go home, Chandler, I’ll take it from here.”
Alex snorted and Chandler’s doubtful gaze jumped from Alex to me and back. Alex crossed his arms above his chest and jutted his chin defiantly. I barely suppressed rolling my eyes at this adolescent conduct. Putting all the calmness I could muster in my voice, I repeated to Chandler, “Go home. Everything is fine. By the way, how’s your wife doing? I heard this pregnancy is hard on her?”
Chandler’s interest in Alex crumbled immediately. With a weary sigh he ran his hands through his thin hair. “There was some bleeding and she had to be hospitalized for a week. She’s doing better now, but she’s easily exhausted.”
“I’m sure you’d like to get home to see and take care of your little daughter.”
Chandler nodded and I quietly ushered him out of the apartment. Not without noticing the furious glare Alex shot at me. I had manipulated Chandler into leaving, but so what? Although I hadn’t been overly subtle, I meant no threat to Alex. On the contrary, I came back to protect him and Sean, as well as try to salvage whatever there was left of our affair. The one I still didn’t know if I wanted to develop into something deeper or not.
I locked the door after I had assured Chandler that I had the situation under control. When I turned around I almost bumped straight into Alex. He stood there, hands on his hips, trying to glare a hole into me. I raised an eyebrow inquiringly, which resulted in him thumping his fists against my chest. Surprised, I gave a pained noise but didn’t defend myself.
When it became obvious that he wasn’t going to stop his attack, I pulled him flush against me. In panic, he tried to push his knee right into my crotch, but I blocked him just in time. I whirled him around and caught his wrists in my hands, crossing his arms above his chest with no leverage to free himself. I adjusted my stance and leaned my back against the door when Alex’s control flew right out of the window.
He snarled, twisted, and writhed but otherwise stayed eerily quiet. He didn’t even try speaking, just kept on trying to wrench free. Oddly calm and collected, I listened to his ragged breathing and kept on restraining his thrashing body.
Rage and frustration had erupted, right in my arms. It wasn’t directed solely at me, I was certain about that. Still, it had boiled over, and I was actually glad to be able to provide a safe space for Alex to let go.
It took several minutes for him to stop fighting. He slumped back against me and I rubbed my cheek against his, noticing the slight dampness of his skin. He drew in a shuddering breath as I pressed a chaste kiss on his jaw.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured.
“For what?”
“A lot of things.”
“And you think that’s going to appease me?” he gasped out.
I had nothing better to offer. Telling him that would probably get me in the doghouse again, so I settled on pressing a series of small kisses on every patch of his face I could reach. Alex chuckled as he ducked his head.
“Are you going to attack me if I let you go?”
Alex shook his head and muttered, “No, and I’m sorry too.”
I let go of his wrists but put my hands on his hips and turned him around. Alex darted a quick glance at me, then hurriedly closed the gap between us and rested his head on my shoulder. He slung his arms around my waist and squeezed tightly while I brought my own arms around his torso, sensing the slight, almost imperceptible tremors running through him. It struck me how well we fit together, how well he molded against me, and how much I craved to hold him close. Feeling my breathing turning irregular, I recognized the first signs of my imminent bolting. There were too many emotions, strong emotions, to be dealt with at once. I couldn’t deal, I just couldn’t.
A hesitant chirp from the living room rescued me from making a fool out of myself. I sighed in relief and heard Alex sighing as well. Whether he sighed in relief or annoyance I didn’t know. Alex loosened his embrace but I didn’t want to lose the connection we’d just built. I cut off his retreat by snatching his chin. I gentled my hold on his face, although I still forced him to look at me. I still had no clue what I wanted to say to him. Somehow he seemed to understand me anyway. He brought one hand up to cup my cheek, which caused my eyes to close for a split second. When I opened my eyes again, he looked at me with an intensity that scared me to no end.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he said.
“Neither am I, but we’re only going to find out if we give it a try, right?” I sounded bold, confident to my own ears, though I absolutely didn’t feel that way. I could only hope Alex interpreted my comment positively.
“I don’t know if I can stand it when we find out it’s not going to work.”
My next words left my mouth without my permission. “We simply have to try our best so it won’t come to that.”
Chapter 16
WE LOOKED at each other, barely breathing. Neither of us moved. A second chirp, a lot less hesitant and accompanied by the almost familiar sound of dragging, interrupted our moment. I couldn’t stop a slight pout from forming on my face as I said mockingly, “He’s a real spoilsport.”
Alex’s body stiffened immediately and his eyes turned cold. He snatched away his hand, which had been cradling my cheek. I grabbed it and held on even as he tried to pull free. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I would have said that about anyone right now. If we were on our own I’d take you. Right here and now.”
“You’d take me?” Alex sputtered, though the corners of his mouth curved upwards.
I grinned. “I’d lift you up, push you against the wall, and fuck you senseless.”
My grin widened when an undignified noise left his mouth. I let him go as he turned around to flee in the direction of his little brother. I closed my eyes and took deep calming breaths while I waited fo
r my erection to wane. What was it about him that drove me crazy? Other than the pretty face and great body, that is.
More importantly, why did I pursue him in earnest? It couldn’t be his appearance; I wasn’t that shallow. Also, there was still Sean in the equation. It didn’t add up to anything remotely sensible. Yet, here I was, completely out of my tree and scared of the things to come. I shook my head at the chaos in my mind, adjusted my semihard cock in my jeans, and followed Alex.
He sat on the sofa with Sean on his lap, talking to him in a voice too soft for me to understand. I battled with various emotions at once, seeing them together like this. Sean addressed me with an odd grunting noise. Alex smiled and patted a spot on the sofa next to them. “He wants you to sit with us. We’re going to watch a cartoon and then have dinner. Did you eat already or do you want us to feed you?”
His question brought up all kinds of weird images, including Alex feeding me like he did Sean. “Dinner sounds great to me.”
“All right.”
Alex asked Sean what he wanted to watch and zapped through the channels until he found the right program. We watched some mindless animated stuff, which I couldn’t wrap my mind around. Sean seemed to love it, though. His brother laughing and snickering brought a smile to Alex’s face.
Admittedly, I didn’t even try to concentrate on the TV, as I was too preoccupied with watching Alex and Sean. The boy leaned against Alex; his body seemed fairly relaxed and he appeared to be totally engrossed in the show. Alex rubbed circles on Sean’s belly with one hand while he used his other to smooth the boy’s hair or mop away trickles of saliva with the bandana.
Watching Alex clean Sean up in such a matter-of-fact way, as if it was natural and normal, made me feel… weird. I didn’t understand myself. Of course this was normalcy for Alex and Sean; why wouldn’t it be? I had a lot to learn, a lot of ingrained prejudices to overcome if I wanted a future with Alex.
I frowned. Here I was, contemplating a future with a guy who had to care for a disabled child. Well, not just any guy. This was the guy whose body molded perfectly against mine, who keened when brought to climax and who had wormed himself into my heart, skirting around all my barriers. I wanted him, no sense in denying this fact. Damn, did I want him!
If this translated into me having to change some opinions, so be it. I slid closer to Alex and Sean and carefully draped my arm around Alex’s shoulder. He looked at me in surprise, swallowed hard once, and was about to open his mouth when Sean lunged for my free hand. I froze and stared at the boy. He offered me a grimace, which probably should have been a smile, and grabbed again for my free hand. Bewildered, I gazed from him to Alex until Alex took pity on me and explained, “He, uh, wants you to scoot closer and, um, hold his hand.”
Alex’s cheeks glowed with two red spots and he clearly didn’t know where to look. Sean, on the other hand, kept his eyes trained on me. He clearly expected me to respect his wish and comply with it. I found myself staring at his little hand on top of mine. Cautiously, I engulfed his clenched hand in my own and frowned at the tension I discovered there. Sean chirped a high, happy-sounding chirp, after which he turned his attention back to the screen.
Alex shifted a bit so he could rest his head on my shoulder. He did it slowly, carefully, as if he didn’t want to startle me. I squeezed his shoulder and rubbed my cheek against his hair. Despite the novelty of this situation, I gradually relaxed. This didn’t feel bad, not even remotely close to bad.
I didn’t feel cornered or panicked either, merely confused. Not wanting to dwell on my feelings—which I had done more of in the last few days than I could stand—I consciously relaxed my muscles and enjoyed being in the here and now.
WE ATE in a civilized manner. I tried my very best not to stare at the disaster Sean created on his plate, and given the appreciative gaze from Alex, I must have succeeded fairly well. While Alex prepared Sean for bed, which Sean made very clear was way too early, I walked around, making sure the door and windows were locked.
I expected Alex to carry Sean to his bedroom and then come back to me. I sighed inwardly when he came to me with his arms full of Sean. Why couldn’t he once do what I expected him to do?
“What’s up?”
“What… what about tomorrow?”
Dumbfounded, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“It’s the twelfth tomorrow. Should I, um, send Sean to school tomorrow?”
Sean’s head jerked up from his resting place on Alex’s shoulder and he stared at his brother wide-eyed. Seconds later he twittered, loud and urgently, until Alex hushed him by covering Sean’s mouth with two fingers.
“Shh, easy there, baby. I know you want to go to school, but I….” He faltered and looked at me beseechingly. I would have helped him out if I’d had the tiniest clue of what to say. When I didn’t come to his rescue, Alex just repeated, “Should I?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t know, I really don’t know. Would it be difficult for you to take tomorrow off?”
“Well, they won’t be happy about me taking a day off; although if I claim Sean’s not feeling well or something it shouldn’t be a problem. I can’t do this for an infinite amount of time, though. We’re dependent on my income and they already met me halfway when they allowed me to work reduced hours,” Alex thought aloud.
“How about you tuck Sean into bed and I give Parker a call. Maybe he has some news.”
Alex nodded but hesitated. He cradled the back of Sean’s head in his palm, kissed him swiftly on a cheek, and asked me, “Will someone stay with us again?”
“Yes. I’ll ask Parker if he knows who it’s going to be.”
Alex nodded again, took a deep breath, and finally walked toward Sean’s bedroom. Sean chirped but I couldn’t understand Alex’s response, just noted his voice was soothing and calm. I wondered what he’d told Sean so far. Given his anger yesterday in the kitchen, I doubted that he’d told him the truth.
I dialed Parker’s number and he picked up on the third ring. “Trenkins.”
“Woods,” I replied. “Anything new?”
“Hey. No, nothing, although Williams put enough pressure on forensics that we’ll get results some time tomorrow. Even the mayor can’t claim this letter is more important than identifying the victims of a horrendous bus crash.”
I rolled my eyes. The best course of action was to prevent Parker from launching into a tirade about the many faults of the mayor. At least I could understand his simmering animosity better now.
“All right, all right, chill. Do you know who’s going to look after Alex and the kid tomorrow? I told Alex to keep Sean at home because of the ultimatum.”
“How about you check in with Williams in the morning? Don’t you want to stay with them?” Parker asked.
“Let’s not go there, okay? I’ll give you a call in the morning. Don’t overdo it tonight.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just going to relax in front of the TV.”
“What? No boinking the boyfriend?”
“Geez, Jeff, you’re so rude,” Parker laughed. I heard a car door slam shut, followed by his footfalls on a sidewalk. “And for your information, I’m not going to be doing the boinking, David is d—”
“David is going to cut this sort of conversation short,” another voice, in a way lower timbre, interrupted Parker. I almost choked on my laughter.
“Haha, very funny, Jeff. For that I want details of your… nightly activities first thing in the morning,” Parker drawled.
A door closed, probably the front door of David’s home, and I heard a startled yelp from Parker. The sudden silence that followed caused me to shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. I strained my ears and eventually asked tentatively, “Parker? Are you okay?”
Parker sounded subdued but not frightened when he said, “Yeah, I’m okay. After further consideration I don’t want to hear about your nightly activities tomorrow.”
Baffled, I stopped my pacing in
the living room. “You don’t want to hear about it or David doesn’t want you to?”
“Uh-huh,” Parker replied in an evasive tactic.
I chuckled wholeheartedly. “Wow, I’m impressed. I want you to introduce me to him.”
“No way, he’s mine. You got your boy toy and—”
Clothes rustled in the background, and a moment later I heard the clear demand from David for Parker to watch his mouth and wash his hands. Parker grumbled something, which obviously gained him a kiss, then he said, “We’d better cut this short or I’ll get myself into trouble.”
“You don’t sound as if you’d mind getting into trouble.”
“It’s all good.”
“Parker?” I hesitated briefly but decided that I really liked my partner and had the right to be concerned about him. “Are you really okay? He’s not, you know, forcing you into something you don’t want to do?”
“Jeff!” Parker exclaimed with a laugh. “I’m not some damsel in distress and I’m absolutely capable of defending myself.”
“I know that,” I replied, irritated. “You just sound off.”
The noise of running water reached my ears as Parker told me, “Thanks for worrying about me. I appreciate that, I really do, but everything is fine. David is good for me like Alex is for you.”
“How about I tell you about my activities the day after tomorrow? Would that get you into trouble?”
Parker laughed again. “That would work.”
“All right, see you tomorrow.”
Parker ended the call on a chuckle and I shook my head. After flipping my phone shut I gazed out of the window, searching for the mysterious visitor from yesterday. I didn’t find him or anything else that made me believe we were under observation.
Alex sidled up next to me, wrapped an arm around my waist, and without conscious thought I lifted my arm to pull him into a close hug. Dropping a kiss on his forehead, I said, “Forensics should have results on the letter by tomorrow.”
“Why is it taking so long? On TV it barely takes a few minutes.”