by Chris T. Kat
“Do you seriously believe this shit you’re telling me?” I asked.
“No, but it seems to work in movies and TV shows.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll go up and have a look at Sean. Maybe I can convince someone to put a cot in his or Alex’s room. Or maybe they could put them into one room?”
A sudden bout of busyness replaced the underlying feeling of helplessness. As long as I had something to do I didn’t need to think about stuff… and people and what the hell they and their well-being meant to me.
I was already on my way back toward the elevator with Parker hissing and spitting when someone else appeared next to me. To my surprise, that someone snatched my wrist and told me to stop. Peering at a dark-haired man, slightly taller than me, I frowned. “Excuse me?”
“David,” I heard Parker sighing in relief. Apologetically, he added, “I was on my way home.”
“I know. Since you had a busy and rather eventful day, I thought it best to come and get you.”
What this had to do with my person totally eluded me. I held up my still captured wrist and said as much. “I think you’re holding onto the wrong guy’s hand.”
The piercing stare I received unintentionally caused me to take a step back. Parker sure had gotten involved with an impressive man. Wide-shouldered and very obviously well-muscled at all the right places, he didn’t fit the images I had of college professors. Especially not of those who taught English literature.
“Parker wouldn’t come home until he got you home safely, and I don’t think you should be on your own tonight.”
“I’m fine,” I replied, mostly on autopilot.
“You’re not fine and I want Parker to get some sleep, which he won’t get if you stay uncooperative.”
“Uncooperative?” I sputtered. “I’m not holding him back, so leave me the hell alone.”
Parker turned around and started breathing exercises. I found myself involuntarily stumbling toward David when he pulled sharply at my wrist. We stood there, barely two inches apart, with me looking aghast. My mouth ran off before I really thought about what I was saying. “Are you sure he’s a teacher?”
Parker turned big, startled eyes at me, but his usual ability to run his mouth seemed to have vanished. David chimed in with a chuckle. “Yes, I am a teacher and yes, I do know how to handle cranky people. Even if it has to happen in a physical way. You,” he pointed at me, “are not up to win a fight against me tonight.”
He started to get on my nerves. I was about to voice this thought when Parker interrupted me by resting a hand on my shoulder. He whispered, “Please do not tell him how annoying you find him right now.”
“Why not? And why are we whispering like two frightened little boys in front of an angry headmaster?” I hissed.
“I’m not going to answer that now.”
“But you will later?”
“Maybe.”
“That’s enough.” David’s voice caused us both to jump guiltily. Highly embarrassing considering we’re both cops.
Bracing myself, I said, “I really appreciate your concern, but I have to go and look after someone here. Have a good night.”
“No, you’re not. I understand you want to be with your lover, but from what I understand, you’re not even outed at work. Let’s not dare mention the fact you’re seeing someone who’s involved in a case you’re working on. Shall I go on?”
He spoke to me quietly while I remained frozen to the spot. Ending his little speech with this arrogant question opened the lid on a big barrel of fury within me. “The only thing you shall do is get the fuck out of my way.”
“Jeff….”
“No!” I swirled around to face Parker. Not an easy undertaking considering David still held my wrist. “You! How could you tell him?”
“I had to! I—”
“No, you didn’t. Now tell your gorilla to let go of me!”
Parker had no chance to reply. David’s eyes blazed when he addressed me. “I won’t take offense at you calling me names because I know what a day you’ve had and how worried you must be. However, you shouldn’t be found in Alex’s room. You’ll have your hands full with explaining why you kissed him.”
Parker shook his head whereas I said stupidly, “No one but you and Parker know about Alex and me.”
David let go of my hand, and his face softened as he said, “No, we’re not the only ones. Everyone who watched the local news tonight knows about you. A news helicopter filmed most of the rescue. They got you kissing Alex on tape. There cannot be any doubt about your relationship with him when you’ve seen the pictures.” Softly, he added, “Come stay with us for the night.”
Chapter 26
IN THE end, I accepted Parker and David’s invitation.
I trailed them to David’s car where I climbed into the backseat. At various times Parker threw glances at me and opened his mouth, but each time David rested his hand on Parker’s thigh. Maybe it worked as a secret stop sign because Parker shut his mouth every time. Maybe I should try this approach too. Then again, I doubted it would work for me.
David lived outside of Atlantic City, maybe half an hour away in Mays Landing. He owned a single condo in a well-kept neighborhood. We parked in front of his condo and, despite the darkness, I could see the neatness around his place. That was more what I expected from a college professor.
The condo immediately opened up into a small living room where they guided me to a table. David vanished into the kitchen to brew up some tea while I looked around the condo. Desperate to break the awkward silence, I asked the first thing that came to mind. “Are you planning to move in?”
Parker almost dropped the mugs he carried. He laughed to cover his embarrassment. “No.”
“You sure?”
He placed a steaming mug in front of me. “I met David two weeks ago for the first time and I only know him more personally, if you get my drift, for three days. Let’s not rush ahead.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m tired and this discussion is really stupid.”
David heeled out a chair next to me and sat down with a grin. “He means I already offered him a permanent place here.”
“You’re not one to waste time, huh?”
“We hit it off right away and I like having him close.” He winked at Parker, who, astonishingly for me, blushed.
I made the time-out sign with my hands. “Guys, stop it. Too much information.”
We sipped our teas until Parker got up, saying, “I’ll get the air mattress ready.”
“There’s only one bedroom in this condo. I hope you don’t mind sleeping in the upstairs living room,” David said.
Shouldn’t he have thought about me minding it before more or less forcing me to come with them?
I didn’t care all that much. Weariness and a bone-crushing tiredness wrapped around me. I rubbed my hands over my face as Parker walked past us with the mattress and a pump in his hands. In passing, he said, “Oh, by the way, I told Williams you’d stay with a friend tonight and that you’d be reachable via your cell phone. He, uh, wants to talk to you tomorrow morning.”
“My cell phone? I don’t even know where it is.”
“Left pocket of my jacket. You gave it to me before you jumped from a twenty-five foot high platform into the Atlantic Ocean, almost killing yourself in the process.”
I rolled my eyes. “This passive-aggressive reminding me of my wrongdoings is getting annoying.”
Parker bent over the upstairs railing to glare at me. “Not as annoying as watching your partner almost drown.”
“Parker,” David said.
I heard Parker muttering something under his breath while he busied himself with pumping air into the mattress. I shifted uncomfortably when David’s eyes were solely focused on me.
“He’ll come around. You scared him and he already lost two partners due to some heroic actions. I guess he feared the worst for you too.”
Perplexed, I looked at Davi
d. “I didn’t know that! How could I not know that?”
“You’ll have to ask him yourself. Just… not tonight. Come on, I’ll show you to the bathroom.”
“Did they really show me kissing Alex on TV?” I asked as I followed him.
“Yes, and you were also rubbing your cheek against his. Very affectionate. The reporter, a female reporter, gushed about, and here I quote: ‘The tenderness of this gesture, showing a deep love between those two men’.”
I groaned. “Oh, shit. I doubt our coworkers will be gushing as well.”
Parker came downstairs, saying, “They were mostly stunned. Neither of them ever thought you’d be gay. Also, they were way too busy with the whole rescue situation and securing the scene.”
We all stood in the tiny hallway that led to the bathroom on the left side and David’s bedroom on the right side. Simmering anger erupted suddenly and unexpectedly inside me. Bitterly, I snapped, “That heli-platform is a security risk as it is. People could use it to jump if they are so inclined. And the bus driver? Bernard? I’d like to throttle the guy. If he didn’t trip over his big feet we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“He was barely consolable. They even had to give him a sedative and drive him back home, he was so out of it,” Parker said.
“That’s quite understandable, don’t you think? He almost got three people killed. Anybody would have a meltdown after all that,” David said. Looking over at me, he added, “You get ready for bed. We’ll get some bedding upstairs.”
He ushered Parker into his bedroom and closed the door after him with a soft click. I found a spare toothbrush and quickly cleaned my teeth. After finishing up in the bathroom, I trudged upstairs with heavy feet.
Parker must have come out of the bedroom while I was busy in the bathroom, because he sat on my bed, waiting for me. I slumped down next to him and felt him lay an arm around my shoulders. My head sagged down on his right shoulder.
“Alex will be all right and you’ll adjust to being openly gay in no time. It’s a miracle no one ever busted you, or me for that matter, before. We were both regular customers at the pertinent bars.”
“I didn’t visit them so frequently. I was always afraid of getting caught. Most of the time I went to Philly or to New York. I never thought I’d find someone… someone….”
“Someone special?”
A shudder wracked my body, making it impossible to contain the tears prickling my eyes anymore. Choking, I said, “I’m normally not such a crybaby.”
“I won’t tell anyone. Scout’s honor.”
“You’ve never been a Boy Scout.”
“You don’t know for sure.” As I didn’t know about him having lost two partners, I didn’t argue with that.
Parker pulled me closer and I stopped holding back my tears. I didn’t even know why I cried. Maybe to relieve the stress? Admittedly, it worked. I felt drained, but also better afterward.
Parker handed me a handkerchief. Some time later he pushed a T-shirt and sweatpants into my hands. “These are David’s. I hope you don’t mind, but mine would be too short for you.”
“It’s fine,” I said.
When I had changed clothes, I slipped under the covers. Everything around me spun and I groaned in distress. Parker sat down on the mattress again. Concerned, he asked, “Are you okay? You’re not hurting anywhere, right? Damn, I knew they should have kept you for the night!”
Ignoring his comment, I countered, “What if something happens to Alex or Sean? How will I know?”
“I gave them my number and they will call if there’s any change. I’ll wake you up if they call.”
No matter how childish it sounded I still had to ask. “Promise?”
“Promise. Now go to sleep. You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.” Parker gave my shoulder a gentle pat before he heaved himself up.
I heard him walking downstairs and into the bathroom. I fell asleep while waiting for him to emerge from there.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I WOKE up the next morning not exactly feeling restored but not feeling totally smashed either. I dozed for some time until I heard someone rousing downstairs. Thinking I probably should get up as well, I tried to sit up. I failed miserably.
Sitting up wasn’t the issue; staying upright was the challenge. I tried again with the same result. Taking a deep breath and advising myself to give it another minute, I closed my eyes and waited. I must have drifted off again, because my next conscious thought consisted of smelling freshly brewed coffee.
I sat up again, this time taking it slowly. The world spun around me and I groaned as I fought to stay upright. I won the challenge but only through gritted teeth and the uncomfortable feeling of horrible nausea.
Someone touched my shoulder lightly before the grip firmed. The world stopped spinning and I let out a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
“Do you feel dizzy?” David asked.
Well, what did it look like? “Yeah, kind of.”
“Why didn’t you call for me or Parker?”
“I was waiting for the nausea to pass.”
“Nausea? I thought you simply had a dizzy spell.”
“Both,” I admitted. “I tried getting up earlier, but as you can see, it didn’t work out too well.”
I said it in a lighthearted tone so as not to give him more reason to frown at me like he was doing right now. He certainly didn’t need to know it had been quite the scare not to be able to keep my body in a sitting position.
“Pup, would you bring Jeff some coffee upstairs?”
“On my way,” Parker answered.
I turned my head to look at David. Nope, still only one head on his shoulders. We waited for Parker in silence. Squinting my eyes, I inspected Parker closely as soon as he came into view.
“Wow, you look like shit!” Parker exclaimed.
“Parker!” David said.
“What? It’s true.”
“He had a dizzy spell and couldn’t stay upright without help just a few seconds ago. Either hand me the coffee so I can help him or you do it.”
“What?” I squeaked. “That’s not necessary, I’m fine.”
Parker smirked and sat down next to me, which caused the air in the mattress to shift rather dramatically. Another wave of nausea rolled through me. Even though I tried, I couldn’t completely suppress uttering a distressed moan.
“Maybe tea would be better,” David said.
“Coffee is alright. It’ll help boost my blood pressure.”
“I’ll drive you two to the medical center anyway. You should let yourself get checked out again.”
I grimaced. Parker held the mug with coffee under my nose and despite my protest held it for me. I swallowed down my pride and took a cautious sip, gauging the temperature. As it was still a bit too hot for my taste, I shook my head. Suddenly I remembered something. “I’m sure I heard wrong a few moments ago, but… did David call you pup?”
Parker stiffened and his cheeks flushed in the deepest red I’ve ever seen on a human face.
David sounded genuinely distressed when he said, “Oh damn! I’m sorry, Parker. It just slipped.”
I laughed as Parker groaned. He handed me the mug while saying, “Here. I decided you’re fit enough to hold it.” Toward David he hissed, “Couldn’t you just deny it? No, you had to confirm it!”
“I’m sorry I embarrassed you, but that’s no reason to speak to me in that tone of voice.”
Fascinated, I watched their interaction. Something I couldn’t grasp went on between them. My curiosity spiked so high that I could barely hold my tongue. Parker opened his mouth but shut it when David raised an eyebrow at him. He got up, his body language all but screaming pissed off. Anyone sensible wouldn’t try talking to him for the next few hours.
Parker’s voice matched his body language when he announced, “I’ll set the table.”
“Thank you.”
I watched Parker walk downstairs before I turned to David. He gave me a friendl
y smile and answered my unspoken question. “No, you probably don’t want to know what is going on. Just don’t give him a hard time about the pet name, will you?”
And let such a good opportunity for mocking him slip? David’s stare froze this train of thought. I heard myself muttering, “I won’t.”
David sat at my side and slowly eased his grip on me. We heard Parker puttering around, sometimes clanking the dishes a bit more forcefully than necessary.
The coffee helped me feel better and with David’s guidance I got up and went downstairs. Breakfast was a mostly silent affair, only interrupted by the occasional uttered, “Pass me the butter,” or whatever. Parker didn’t meet my eyes most of the time and moved in a way that showed he barely held onto his temper.
After breakfast, he began clearing the table and David helped. David told me to sit and drink my second cup of coffee. I felt almost human again, just with a thoroughly sore and exhausted body. When I peered over the counter into the kitchen, I saw David coming up behind Parker, wrapping his arms around him. Parker’s posture seemed far from inviting and I cringed. I would be seeing Parker flipping out and maybe destroying his tentative relationship with David.
David either didn’t recognize Parker’s clear message or he ignored it. He murmured something into Parker’s ear, which resulted in Parker nodding and molding against David’s body.
I blinked several times, then shook my head. Well, I most definitely hadn’t expected that reaction from Parker. I didn’t understand how they worked, just that they did. Would Alex and I work so well, too?
The mug in my hand suddenly doubled in weight, so I put it on the table. Nausea rose anew and I rested my head on my crossed arms on the table.
A gentle hand rubbed between my shoulder blades, asking, “Feeling sick or worried?”
“Sick and panicked.”
“Want me to—” The shrilling of his cell phone interrupted Parker.
My stomach clenched even more violently, threatening to spill its contents all over the floor. While I did my best to keep the upper hand, considering my breathing, I listened to Parker’s side of the conversation. I didn’t get much information out of it.