What Quinn doesn’t understand is that I’m not crying at the sweet words he’s just spoken. I’m not crying because he just told me he loves me. I’m crying because of what I have to say next.
Because it’s going to hurt him.
Because he’ll realize that there’s no way to move past it.
Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly before speaking the words that I know will effectively end whatever shred of a friendship we have left and destroy any chance of anything more. “If you loved me so much, why did you seek comfort in Kara’s arms? Why was she the one in your bed instead of me? Because if you love me as much as you say you did, if those feelings you felt for me were real, you wouldn’t have slept with her. You should have fought for me. You should have chased me out of that bar. You should have been honest with me before it was too late.”
Quinn tilts his head slightly and stares at me in confusion.
“I saw you, Quinn. Both of you. In your bed. I came to talk to you, to tell you how I felt. To try and fix what was broken and maybe, just maybe, start over. I wanted a real relationship with you. I wanted a chance to find out if you felt the same way I did. And what did I find? Kara in your bed, in only her panties. Fast asleep.”
Clenching his fists, Quinn nods, then picks up his phone and taps his screen furiously.
“I want you to read something for me,” he states, his focus on his phone as he continues to scroll. He finally finds what he’s looking for and extends his phone to me. “After you read it, I’ll explain.”
KARA: I’m sorry.
QUINN: For what? For sneaking into my room and taking advantage of the situation? You knew I was passed out. I’d drank an entire bottle of rum. It’s not like you were going to get anything out of me. So either tell me what really happened or go fuck yourself.
KARA: I wasn’t trying to seduce you.
QUINN: Sticking to your story. Fine. This conversation is over.
KARA: Don’t be like that. It’s not like we had sex.
QUINN: That’s not the point. You know how I feel about people in my room. It’s my private space. You weren’t invited, yet I woke up and found you not only in my room but in my bed. Unless you want to tell me the truth about why you were there, don’t talk to me.
Well, that certainly puts a different spin on what I saw.
Chapter Thirty-Five
QUINN
After explaining everything to Gabby about that night, what I remembered and the lies I had been told by Tess and Kara, we pieced together the truth.
Gabby came to visit.
Kara crawled in bed with me to make her jealous. She must have decided to stay on her own because she was still there when I woke up the next morning.
Most importantly, Tess helped her set it all up. She knew what Gabby would see when she looked in my room.
My roommates were bitches. And they were both going to hear about it as soon as I got home. While I packed my shit and moved out.
“I’m sorry, Gabby. I really am. What they did was hurtful, and if I’d known you’d come over and seen her in my bed, I would have explained the situation a long time ago.”
“This,” she starts, anger building in her voice, “is not your fault. This was intentional, and I want to know why. Why did Kara do it?”
“Probably because I didn’t want her, and she wanted me. The same reason we faked our relationship. To get what we wanted. And for her, it worked. She chased you away. You were no longer her competition. That didn’t change how I felt about her or the fact that I was in love with you. She lost all my trust and respect that morning.”
In the last five months, she’s tried to kiss my ass and make it up to me. I’ve played nice with both of them, wanting to keep the peace since we were still living together, but that’s all over now. They can both go fuck themselves.
“But how did she know? That’s what I don’t understand. If she bought the relationship and the fact we broke up, why would she even think I was a threat? Wouldn’t she think I was there to see my friend at that point?”
“She knew we weren’t really dating.”
“What!”
Both Nathan and Jade’s head spin in our direction at the sound of Gabby’s voice.
“I made a list of ways I was going to win you over. The things I was going to do to prove to you that I wanted our relationship to be the real deal so you wouldn’t go through with the breakup. Ideas on how to make you fall in love with me. She found it and interpreted it as things I was doing to make Gavin jealous. She figured out you were trying to win him back.”
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the crumpled list and flatten it against my thigh. I brought it so I could show Gabby. So she could see how Kara interpreted the list as one-sided. Taking a deep breath, I hand it to her and continue.
“That’s why they showed up at the frat party that night. She wanted a front-row seat to the action. I was afraid she was going to let our secret slip, and I didn’t want you to get hurt, so I had to make her believe that I wanted her. That’s what you were seeing those last few days. Me, trying to win Kara over to keep her silent. It worked, but I lost you in the process. I should have come clean and told you everything.”
Pausing, I wait for Gabby to finish scanning the list. I want her undivided attention for what I say next. When she folds the list and tucks it beneath her thigh, I take the opportunity to strike.
“I should have been honest with you from the moment I first kissed you. It would have saved us both a lot of heartache. But I was scared as fuck. What I was feeling was overwhelming and new and unlike anything else I’d ever felt before. I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way and that if I confessed what I felt, you’d freak out and I’d lose you as a friend on top of everything else.”
“The first time we kissed?” she asks. “You felt something that night at my place?”
Every fiber in my body felt something that night. All the blood rushed to my dick, and it took every ounce of restraint in my body not to rip her clothes off.
I was as surprised that night as she sounds right now. I knew we needed to get that first kiss out of the way so our relationship was believable, but I never imagined it would change everything. The thought of feeling that way toward Gabby never crossed my mind.
Not that she isn’t beautiful. That wasn’t even a question.
She had only ever been my friend. Maybe because she had been attached to Gavin since we first met and I respected their relationship. Maybe because our relationship had been classified the summer we lived together.
Whatever the reason, I’d only ever seen her in that light.
But the first time I felt her lips against mine, my perspective changed. About everything. I noticed the details of her face and had the urge to trace each curve with my fingertips. I noticed the shape of her body and how it fit perfectly against mine.
Mostly, I noticed how responsive she was to my touch, and that was enough to spark a fire inside me. All thoughts of Kara fled my body and were replaced by thoughts of Gabby.
“I know it’s hard to believe but—”
“I felt it too,” Gabby admits, cutting me off. “My thoughts scared me that night. I spent hours trying to figure out what I was feeling and why. You were my friend, but I wanted so much more from you. It didn’t make sense. And then the more time we spent together, acting like a couple, the more I wanted it to be real. I think that’s what scared me the most. I knew if we crossed that line, we could lose each other forever. Staying friends was the safer option, but that’s not what I wanted.”
“Me either.”
“I wish you would have told me Kara was onto us.”
“So do I. Every second of every day.”
The yard falls silent, the only sound coming from the clacking of the horses walking down the street somewhere in the neighborhood.
“What do we do now?” Gabby finally asks.
“It’s up to us. We can try and go back to being friends, or we
can explore the way we feel. I know what I want, but I’m letting you make the decision.”
“I think we’re off to a good start rebuilding a relationship. I’m just not sure I’m ready to say what I want one way or the other. I still care about you, Quinn. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’d like to try, at some point, but maybe now isn’t our time.”
There’s someone else. There has to be.
Jade said she wasn’t seeing anyone, but maybe she didn’t know. Maybe it’s a new thing. Or maybe her feelings for me aren’t as strong as mine are for her. Maybe I broke her more than I thought and she’s scared to try.
There are a million reasons she doesn’t want this running through my mind. I’m contemplating each of them when I realize she’s eliminated the distance between us and is now sitting in the chair next to me, staring.
Our eyes meet, and I’m afraid to look away. Afraid that if I blink, she’ll disappear. I don’t think I’d be able to handle losing her again.
“We should try being friends again. Get to know each other better. We’ve been friends for almost three years, and I have no idea your favorite color is.”
“Green.” Like her eyes.
“Or your middle name.”
“Phillip.” After my mother’s brother.
“Favorite sports team.”
Lifting the right sleeve of my t-shirt, I show her the Old English D I have tattooed on my upper arm and say, “Detroit Tigers.”
“Really? Didn’t they suck this year?”
“Doesn’t matter. Good or bad, a true fan stays faithful to their team. It’s a relationship, a bond. There are going to be good times and hard times, but you don’t give up on them because you’re committed.”
My words, although true and how I feel about all the teams I support, are meant to make her really think about our relationship. About us. About the ups and downs we’re going to face, but I also want her to realize that I’m all in. Good days and bad. Highs and lows.
I’m not going anywhere. Not today and not next year.
“What else do you want to know?” I ask, her silence putting me on edge.
“Have you ever been to Europe?”
“No. It’s on my bucket list. Why?”
“I have an idea.”
Her eyes light up as she explains in great detail how she’d like to begin building our relationship again. She’s removing all the obstacles from our path except us. Giving us an opportunity to explore the feelings between us. And we will be the only people who can destroy this.
Not Kara and her devious ways.
Not Gavin trying to win Gabby back.
If we can make it through what she has planned, nothing on Earth will be able to tear us apart.
“Are you in?” Her knees are bouncing in excitement. Even if I wanted to say no to her, I wouldn’t be able to. She’s acting like a teenager who knows they’re about to be given a new car.
“I’m in. All in,” I state firmly, placing my hand on her cheek. Her knee stops bouncing as I stare deep into her eyes, asking her for permission. I don’t have to wait long. Gabby takes matters into her own hands, pulling my lips to hers as I breathe out a sigh of relief.
This is all I want.
For the rest of my life.
Gabby, in my arms, where she belongs.
Chapter Thirty-Six
GABRIELLE
We made it three days before we had our first fight on vacation. Of course, it was over money. The stupidest thing people fight over. Money comes and goes. You spend it or save it, enjoy it while you have it, and want more of it when you don’t. The less you have the more you want. That doesn’t always mean you need it.
My parents bought our plane tickets as a graduation gift. They had been trying to decide what to get me when I called them. They thought the trip was a great idea and were thrilled I wasn’t going alone. Although they hadn’t met Quinn yet, they’d heard plenty about him.
I didn’t mention we were more than friends. I didn’t mention we had ‘dated’ and fallen in love. In fact, I left out most of the details I wasn’t ready to share with them, changing the subject to the job offer I had accepted and the new opportunity I would start as soon as we returned from Europe.
Quinn was sitting next to me when I talked to them. He didn’t seem to have a problem with my parents purchasing our tickets as a gift. Apparently he did have a problem with them giving me money to spend along the way.
He was living on a budget. He hadn’t secured a job yet. And when I suggested staying at a nicer hotel, it made him angry. We fought for hours. Over money. Over how much to spend on everything, where we should stay. In the end, as upset as I was, I knew I still loved him, and I wasn’t ready to give up on us yet.
Neither was he.
We both apologized, each made a few compromises, cuddled in bed together, and I fell fast asleep.
It’s my favorite place to be.
In his arms.
I feel safe and loved. The world around us disappears and nothing matters but what happens in the minutes and seconds that tick by as he holds me.
It’s also his fallback when I get pissed at him. A strategy he’s used the last three months as we’ve toured Europe together. Just the two of us.
Paris. London. Milan. Barcelona. New Amsterdam.
We tried to hit all the bigger cities. The places we knew would have hostels or cheap places to get a room for a night or two. Part of the money compromise was to save money on where we slept. His point was we wouldn’t be spending much time in the room so why should it cost so much. It made sense so instead of shelling out hundreds a night for a place to rest our heads, we spent that money on exploring each city and seeing as much as we could.
Once we’d experienced all the bigger cities, we moved on to the little places we heard about along the way. Unknown towns and villages that were welcoming to tourists. Places that embraced the real cultures of the area without all the glitz and glamour.
Real places.
Filled with small, family-owned restaurants that served the local cuisine. Quinn convinced me to expand my horizons and be adventurous with food. He’ll eat anything, but I’m picky. But this summer, I made myself try so many amazing dishes. Things I never would have considered eating before.
It helped that most of the menus were in languages we didn’t read well.
There were days we’d go for lunch and just point to something on the menu. After we’d finished our meals, we’d ask Google what we ate. All was going well until one afternoon in Spain when I accidentally ordered bull’s testicles. After that, we became less adventurous with our food.
One of my favorite parts of the trip was when we visited this tiny pastry shop in France. Not only was the smell heavenly, borderline orgasmic, but the treats were divine. Croissants and macarons. Eclairs and crème brûlée. Everything we tasted was amazing. I’m fairly certain I gained a few pounds that afternoon.
“Do you see them?” I ask, scanning the crowd as the escalator descends towards the level below.
“I see a sign that might be meant for us,” Quinn remarks, holding back his laughter as he points to a large, neon-yellow sign off to the left.
I’m pregnant. Are you?
You have to be kidding me. Only Jade would put herself on blast to get a laugh out of us. Some things don’t change no matter how much time passes.
“You’re home!” Jade hollers, dropping her sign on the ground as she runs over to meet us. Wrapping me up in her arms, she ignores Quinn completely and guides me toward the baggage carousel.
“Where’s Nathan?” I ask, looking over my shoulder to find Quinn following behind us but no sign of Nathan anywhere.
“I made him wait in the car. He’s circling the airport so we didn’t have to park.”
“Why? It’s like fifty cents an hour.”
“And I need to save every penny right now,” she replies, pointing to her belly with dramatic effect.
She’s not showing yet. She o
nly found out three weeks ago that she was pregnant. That was a phone call I never expected. I spent three hours on the phone with her, trying to calm her down. It didn’t work. Quinn finally took my phone from me, walked out of the room, and returned ten minutes later with a satisfied grin on his face.
He refused to tell me what they talked about. He promised Jade would tell me when she was ready, but whatever he said to her is probably the reason she’s not acknowledging him right now.
After collecting our luggage, we stand by the curb and wait until we see Nathan’s car come into view. He doesn’t see us in time, though, and has to circle the airport again. Of course, this frustrates Jade, and when we climb in the car, she makes sure to scream at him about it.
I’ve never seen them fight before.
Hell, I’ve never seen her yell at anyone the way she’s yelling at him right now. It has to be the pregnancy hormones. I hope this stage passes. For her sake and everyone around her.
“So,” Jade says, her voice chipper as ever as we sit down for lunch, “tell me everything. Where did you go? What was your favorite place?”
I’m about to answer when she screams, “Wait!”
“What?” Quinn and Nathan ask at the same time.
“I need to know something first. You two . . . are you together now? Officially? None of this testing the waters bullshit you were talking about before you left. That’s over, right?”
Looking at Quinn, who’s grinning at me and attempting not to laugh at Jade’s manic episode, I casually reply, “Yeah. We’re dating.”
“It’s about fucking time,” she says with a gasp. “Now, tell me all about your trip. I need to live vicariously through you since it’s going to be at least eighteen years before I’ll get to see anything half as amazing thanks to someone not knowing how to put a condom on the proper way.”
For All The Wrong Reasons Page 19