by CT Grey
They, the people in this city, probably even expected the Authorities already had a solution to the menace, just come up with a vaccination, like when Swine Flu had blown out as a worldwide epidemic. But there was no such thing. There was nothing that could have calmed me down as I heard sirens wailing, I thought my end had arrived. And then when I saw them speeding past the shop, I actually believed they were preparing to block the streets.
But I guess it was a direct answer to my prayers when not even a single police officer came to investigate the scene and all the customers eventually went away. My shop wasn’t the only newsagent in town, they could get what they needed on their way to wherever they were going in London.
However, what I needed didn’t arrive. And no matter how many times I looked up and down the street, I didn’t see a familiar black van labelled with ‘Wash the Dead’ driving along the road. Two and a half hours later they were more than fashionably late. And those two hours had done my nerves in, because when I heard a knock on the backdoor I hid behind the counter and readied my gun. Another rapping came, and a shout: “Jane, are you in there?”
“Yeah,” I shouted to them before I ran to the back to pop open the door and see Mister Bee on his fat knees fondling a black wallet full of picks. Behind him, Jaq wearing her usual leather garments and steel-topped boots, and Alison in her smart-looking suit and the most expensive handbag money could buy.
“Where the bloody hell have you been?” I shouted at them. “I’ve been—”
“Later,” Jaq answered. She folded her tattooed arms across her black leather top and said, “I could ask you the same thing. Where the hell have you been the last nine days?”
“Yeah,” Alison nodded. “We’ve been sick with worry, because the last time I saw you, you were heading out to see Mister Big, and now, we find you here with two—”
“—customers,” Jaq filled in at the very same moment as Mister Bee decided to empty his stomach straight on top of the corpses at my feet. Although you might think that was strange, it wasn’t really, as the whole crime-scene cleaning service was Jaq’s business, not his.
As she and Alison turned away, looking absolutely disgusted at the big man’s behaviour, I took a step forward to lay a hand on his shoulder. “Did you bring the van?”
“Yeah.” Jaq pointed her thumb towards the black hood peaking from behind the corner. “It’s over there.”
“Excellent.” I tapped Bee’s back twice and then ran down the alley only find they’d parked the van in the middle of a sunny spot. And although it was only a few meters, it was a few meters too far to go.
“What is this?”
“Precaution,” Alison said coldly. “You must understand that, in the light of what Bee found out, when he dug around after you’d disappeared.”
“What did you find?” I looked curiously the big man as he joined my companions to block my way back into the shop.
“That you were declared dead,” Mister Bee answered carefully. “And the preliminary cause was recorded as an infection caused by a bite wound to the lower—”
“Yeah, so…” I crossed my arms and started judging which one of them would be easiest to push aside. “Do I look like one of those walking stiffs?”
“No,” Alison looked at me questionably. “You definitely don’t resemble one of them. But then again, what we don’t know is why you were behaving like them in the security footage. So...”
“Guys." I flashed a smile as I realised what she might have seen in one of Bee’s screens. “Do you really want to do this here?”
Jaq glanced as Mister Bee just as Alison whipped out her service pistol and gave a nod to her lover. And I realised they had deliberately delayed their arrival for this reason. This reason and this reason alone. There was no way they were going to allow me to get back in the shop, or into the vehicle, without spilling out everything.
“Okay.” I placed my hands on my hips, just inches away from the weapon holsters. “What Bee found from the records is absolutely correct. The infection got me and I died; hence the reason why I was assigned a morgue number.”
“And?” Alison thumped safety off while Jaq produced a wooden stake from her back.
“And I turned into one of them.”
“I told you,” Bee piped from the back row. “But you guys—”
“Shut up,” Jaq snapped at him. “Don’t say a word.”
“And where are we now?” Alison aimed her words at me just as coldly as if she held her sights on me, without even slight hesitation in her eyes. “Are you one of them?”
“Honestly honey,” I said. “I’m much better now.”
“I can see that.” Jaq smiled at me. “You look great in that kit.”
“By the way, where did you get it?” Mister Bee asked.
“I rather not discuss that here.” I flicked my eyes towards the rooftop, where I could see a few rays already sparkling at edge of the gutters. “So, can we put this behind us and get in the van, please?”
“What do you think guys?” Jaq asked.
Alison didn’t even give glance at them as she shifted her posture and a blink later, I saw a ruby dot flaring under her pistol barrel. “As a precaution I say we put one in her head and see if she can regenerate a new brain or not.”
“Alison,” Mister Bee shouted as Jaq grabbed Alison’s arm just as a shot echoed from the walls. The moment the bullet cratered the ground next to my boot I was already moving. The gap between me and them went down faster than I realised, and in the next second, I’d already shoved the girls to the ground. But as soon as I got to the backdoor, I heard a ghastly groan coming from behind my back.
I spun on my heels and saw a tall, grey-skinned man lumbering behind the van. I had no doubt it was one of them. Maybe even he was even one who’d met his fate at the little girl’s hands, judging from oozing wounds on his calves.
I quickly looked at the shop and then turned back as realised there was no better way to convince my partners. This is how it has to go down, I said to myself as I pulled out my pistol and squeezed the trigger. As the thud from the silencer reached my ears, the bullet slammed into the abomination’s shoulder, making him stagger a bit. But just as he regained his balance I squeezed the trigger again. This time my aim was true. A little hole appeared on his cheek just as the round exploded the back of his head all over the yard.
“See.” I waved the gun towards the zombie as he crashed on the gravel. “I said I’m on your side, but did you listen? No. You didn’t. Instead, you decided to pull a fast one and accuse me of being something I’m not.”
“Listen to her.” Jaq pulled up her girlfriend. “She’s on our side!”
“You shot him,” Bee screamed as if he was going mental. “You shot that man!”
“Shut up Bee,” Jaq, Alison and I shouted at the same time. I wondered if Mister Bee was a real man, he was more girly than three of us put together. And I don’t know why he was acting that way, because there had been enough times when I’d seen him playing war games. The death of a man should have been absolutely fine with him, especially considering how all three of us dealt with it every single day of our lives. But then again, maybe there was something he’d not told us, as often he’d categorically refused to go out with Jaq to do some cleaning at some crime scenes.
But we had never been prepared to dump him, because more often than not, he was the glue that made us four stick together. And when the hard times pressed on us, as it was right now, it was Alison who showed her leadership qualities.
“Jaq, move the van into the shade,” she said, before she turned around and looked at me: “Jane, I believe you are on our side. And you have to understand that I doubted you. But for now that’s gone. So for the love of God, please don’t wake me up in middle of the night and act like that man, ‘cos I swear I will kill you.”
“Trust me Alison,” I said. “If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead before you could even say a word.”
Mister Bee shook his h
ead and said, “I don’t know why I put up with you guys, if you all act like you hate each other, when the truth is, it’s all about love.”
Jaq pulled the van over to us.
“Bee.” Alison glared at him. “Shut up and get in the back.”
I watched Bee sliding open the van door, gesturing me to follow. As Alison nodded her approval, I finally smiled as relief washed over me. The nightmare was over. So I ran down the alley and jumped in the back to find a place between Jaq’s cleaning supplies and a pile of black plastic body-bags. And when I turned around I saw that same relief on Alison’s face, as she pulled the door closed. I would have hated to go against my best friends. Friends that would have done everything to save me, even if it would have meant putting me out of the misery that is a zombie’s life.
So for a few minutes I just sat there and listened the engine’s rumbling before I snapped out from my thought and looked at Bee. “What?”
He smiled at me and then asked: “Would you like something to drink?”
“Sure,” I said. “What do you have?”
“Well.” He produced a stainless steel thermos from his canvas bag. “I got your usual but if you don’t like it, I think we can nick a couple of Jaq’s Fantas from the shelf. So, the question is: what do you fancy today?”
I smiled back at him and said gently: “I would like to have my usual, if that’s not too much trouble, my love.”
“Excellent.” He grinned at me as he twisted the top and filled the van with the smell of warm blood, before he handed the flask to me. I brought it to my lips and took a sip to savour the taste of fresh blood. Bee emptied of the contents of his backpack onto the small table that held his field kit of computers and other communication devices. Within a half a minute he was back in his zone: munching crisps and drinking soda as he surfed the web and monitored the emergency bandwidth. And I was glad he was doing that, because I would’ve hated seeing him sitting there, scared of me jumping on him.
So I took another drink from the flask, and let the flavours of fresh blood fill my mouth and nose. I thought how much trouble my mates went through every day, as one of them volunteered to fill the plasma bags, so that I didn’t need to go out there to hunt down a victim and lose a bit of my soul. It was more than I could ask. More than anyone had done for me during my unholy life. And it was more than I could ever expect for anyone to do for a being that could have hunted them down mercilessly.
I sipped at the flask and let the van’s rocking movement lull me to sleep. But it wasn’t a long one. Merely a nap, which was interrupted by a hand covering my mouth. I opened my eyes and I saw Bee holding a finger over his lips just as I heard Jaq saying at the front seat: “Officer, trust me. There’s nothing back there that you want to see. Not unless you are really interested in cleaning supplies and stuff.”
“Ma’am,” the officer said. “We are not interested in your supplies and stuff, but we do need to check every vehicle that passes through this roadblock. So what’s it going to be, are you going allow to check it or do we have to—?”
“Excuse me sir,” Alison interrupted him “But—”
“Look,” the office sighed. “I have no time to argue with you. Don’t you see? There are probably a thousand cars in that line behind your van. And they are all as anxious to get into Inner London. So either you will allow me to check your—”
“Sir, with all due respect,” Alison snapped at him. “There is nothing back there that you want to see. And if you don’t believe me then maybe you will believe this saying ‘there’s nothing back there that you want to see!’ So, could you be kind, and just wave us through please?”
My eyes flared wide open at the same time as Bee’s face showed his amazement. Neither of us would have believed that Alison would actually use her badge as a get-out-of-jail-free card. She was after all, one of the Home Office's security officers and her MI-5 badge could effectively grant her control over the whole roadblock.
“Ma’am, I can see what you are carrying, but believe me, we have orders from Downing Street to carry out checks on every vehicle that passes through this roadblock. So, if you want to do this quickly, I’ll just pop open the door and check you’re not carrying anything illegal. Or if there is something you don’t want to show to all and sundry, you can drive over there, where we can do a more thorough check.”
I don’t know what shocked me more, the officer not even batting his eyelids at the sight of a Home Office badge, or that the order had come down directly from the Prime Minister. And I knew there was nothing Alison or anyone of us could do to circumvent that. I was as good as dead when the officer opened the door, I would disintegrate on sight. So I heard Jaq shifting gears I started preparing mentally to go out to face my worst enemy, the sun.
“I have an idea.” Bee snapped his fingers as gravel crunched under the wheels and I saw his eyes flicking towards the pile of matt black plastic bags I’d been using as a cushion.
“No,” I said. “I’m not going to do that.”
“Yes you are,” Mister Bee said vehemently. “And you are going to do it with a smile on your face.” But before I even I managed to start shaking my head, he’d already rapped his stubby fat fingers on one of the body-bags. “And there’s not going to be any arguments if you want to live till the sunset, okay?”
“Benny,” I said. “Are you really expecting me to play dead in one of those?”
“Yes Jane.” He pulled down the zipper. “It’s not a coffin. And I want you to do it because I believe Ali can figure out an explanation for us. But for you, looking like that, never. So get in and play dead.”
“Ben,” I said as the van stopped. “What if they’re looking for fresh corpses?”
“If they were they’d have pulled open the doors straight away. So get in and be quiet for once. Okay?”
I’d no other choice but to get into the body-bag and do what I did best. And just as he pulled the zip over my head, I heard Alison arguing loudly: “Commander,” she said. “I beg you. You don’t want to comprise our operational security by opening that door. Because if you do—”
“I understand that ma’am, but I have my orders to search every ve…“ The door slid open and then the next thing I heard was “And who’s this, a rabbit?”
“Does he look like a rabbit to you commander?” Alison asked.
“No, but you know what I mean,” The commander answered. “A man riding at the back of the van is called a rabbit. And you, of all people coming in today, should very well know that you should have declared him at the checkpoi—“
“Really?” I heard Alison going ballistic. “Are you out of your mind… sir? Are you actually saying that I should have told the officer back there that I’m on a classified job and there’s someone in the back doing something many of would consider as illegal. How stupid of me! How very stupid of me, but if that’s what you want, then Bee why don’t you do him a favour and pull out the list of all our personnel on this operation”
“Now?” Bee asked.
“Yes, now!” Alison ordered. “Actually, scratch that, because I’m sure the sweet Commander over here probably wants to hear it from the mouth of the director. So, could you get him on the line, please?”
“Now?” Bee asked again.
“Yes, NOW!” Alison ordered, and then went absolutely quiet. I imagined her pouting at the stunned-looking Commander, who was most probably trying to find the right words to correct the obvious mistake he’d made by following the orders to the letter. And it didn’t take long before I heard the Commander saying, “Actually, I think I’ve seen enough to clear your lot.”
“Good,” Alison said sternly. “I knew you would come to your senses.”
“Wait a moment,” the Commander said suddenly. “Is that what I think it is?”
“Of course it is what you think it is,” Alison said. “The most stupid person on this planet would have realised straight away that it’s a fucking body bag.”
“Of course ma’a
m, but I’m more interested to know what’s in it.”
“Well, what do you think is in it?” Alison asked. “A fucking party clown?”
“Excuse me sir,” I heard the commander’s voice coming from inside the vehicle just as it bounced down. “Could you move aside, please?”
“No,” Bee said. “I’m not—“
“It wasn’t a request, but an order,” the commander growled at him. I felt movements, and heard the zipper pulling down as a breath of fresh air flushed over my face. A finger lifted my eyelid as the commander pulled it up and looked at me.
It was really hard to just stare straight ahead when his red face covered everything. But it didn’t take long before he closed the lid and moved out of the vehicle to say quietly, “I’m sorry ma’am, but I needed to make sure that she wasn’t one of them.”
“Well, Commander, if she had been one of them, would you have believed I’d allow one of my operators to sit in the back, unarmed?”
“No ma’am, I wouldn’t,” Commander answered. “You are clear to go.”
“Thank you,” Alison said. She closed the door and a minute later, we were on the move again. The van rumbled down the roads faster than before, but this time, I felt it curving on corners as I imagined Jaq was guiding it around the obvious road block.
*** Henrik ***
“What are you smirking at?” Jane asked suddenly. “Did I say something funny?”
“Why? No. You didn’t.” I rolled my eyes even though I wanted to laugh out loud about the group she’d gathered around her. In fact, I was amazed that she’d held the secret for so long. But then again I didn’t need to imagine as I knew that revelation had most probably sparked up a fight inside the Tank. And that was exactly the reason why I said: “It’s about Alison. That made me smirk,” as I imagined Harry and Addison going mental for her being among one of our people and we didn’t know anything about.