She nodded, and I leaned down to touch my lips to hers. I understood then why Kitsch pretended, why Harbinger went through months of therapy to be the best dad to his kids he could be. Family was everything. It was worth dying for, losing your mind over, and facing your greatest fears.
“I won’t make you wait long,” I said.
“T-minus five-point-five weeks, mister.”
“That’s not long to pull a wedding together.”
“Who needs a wedding?” she said with a tearful smile.
“You’re serious, then?” I asked. She nodded, and I kissed her again. “I told you your last name would be Trexler.”
Darby hugged me. She held me tight, like we hadn’t seen each other in a while. She pulled at me, pressing her cheek against mine. “I’m so happy, Trex. So, so happy. I’m so lucky you think I’m the one you’ve always loved. I hope I am. I’m going to try my best to be her.”
“She’s you. No doubt in my mind.” Right then. That’s when I should have told her. She was in a good mood, she knew we belonged together and that I was not like the other soldier she thought loved her. But it was Christmas Eve, and we were talking about marriage, and the last thing I wanted to do was admit that I had one more secret.
“We should tell her early that you adopted her, and you’ve loved her from the very beginning. If she ever found out from any way other than us, Trex…”
“You’re right.” I kissed her hair. “Of course you’re right. I get crazy ideas sometimes.”
“I like the part about her having your last name. About us having your last name.” Her smile turned into a frown.
“Second thoughts?” I asked.
She pressed on the side of her belly, the way she did when Maddie was stretching or growing or her tendons were stretching.
“Wow, your stomach is a perfect ball right now,” I said.
“It’s hard,” she said.
I reached over to touch it and then lifted her shirt, putting my hand against her skin. She was right. Her stomach usually had give except for where Maddie was, but the entire area was a solid rock. “Is this labor?”
“Braxton-Hicks.”
I nodded, relieved. “Good. We still have a few things to get yet.”
Maddie’s nursery was nearly complete, with a rug that looked like a bunch of roses in various shades of pink. The wooden crib was white, the walls white, the rocking chair and ottoman white, on the walls a gold wooden cutout that read MADDIE in script letters, surrounded by paper roses matching the rug. The crib sheet and throw pillow on the chair were the same pink floral material. It looked almost identical to a picture Darby showed me on Pinterest. I made sure she had everything she wanted. We had onesies, sleepers, a few dresses, and a closet full of outfits up to twelve months, socks, a few headbands, diapers, wipes, lotion, baby shampoo, baby fingernail clippers, and a blue plastic bulb that I had no clue what it was for, but Darby was sure we’d need it. The stroller was ready and in the front closet, the car seat already in the back seat of the truck.
The baby bag was packed and ready for the hospital and had been for a week.
“What else do we need?” she asked, stretching to make more room to take a breath.
“I’m sure there’s something,” I said. “I have this nagging feeling we’re forgetting something.”
Darby smiled. “You know Maddie won’t wait until we’re ready.”
I leaned down to kiss Darby’s bare skin and then covered her up. “I know. I just want to be prepared.”
“We’re prepared,” she said, looking around the house. “It really is a beautiful home. We have everything we need. I don’t know how this happened, but we’re really lucky.”
“Yes, I am,” I said. “So…I need to spring something on you.”
She arched an eyebrow.
“My parents have a church thing, but Hailey wants to visit tomorrow. She just told me today, but she hasn’t been over since the week we moved in, and I couldn’t tell her no.”
“Why would you tell her no? It’s your sister and it’s Christmas.”
“Because I hadn’t talked to you yet.”
“You don’t have to talk to me about your sister visiting. I love Hailey. She can come anytime.”
I let my head fall back. “I forget how laid-back you are. I don’t take it for granted.”
“Who would get mad about that?”
I sat up, remembering less blissful times. “Laura. She did not like surprises.”
“Well,” Darby said, touching her belly. “My whole life is one big surprise.” She stood. “I should get ready for work.”
“Wait! I have a Christmas Eve present for you.” I jogged over to the tree, then came back, sitting next to her. The box was small. “Spoiler alert: It’s not an engagement ring.”
She pulled on the white ribbon and popped open the lid. “Oh my gosh.” She pinched the white gold band and held up the ring to the light. Encircled with tiny diamonds, with just a single amethyst in the center that was the same size as the other stones. “Trex,” she said, sliding it on her middle finger.
It fit, and my chest puffed a bit.
Darby’s eyes glossed over. “What if she comes early?”
“I worked it out with the jeweler. He’ll just switch out the gemstone. Look at the inscription inside.”
She took it off and squinted, then covered her mouth with her free hand. “Madeleine Rose,” she read aloud. She put it on again and threw her arms around my neck as best she could over her belly. “I love it.”
“I love you,” I said, watching her sit back and wipe happy tears from beneath her eyes.
“I just got you a couple things for Christmas. And they’re not this special.”
“You’re here with me, in this house, beautiful and growing my baby. What else could I possibly need?” I asked.
She smiled, wiping her eyes again, then looking down at the ring. “This is not what I had planned for myself. I didn’t want it. I had no idea you and Maddie and everything we’re building would make me happier than I’ve ever been…would make me feel at home more than I ever have.”
I brushed back the honey strands from her face and cupped her jaw. Her cheeks were a little fuller, rosier than before, and her lips, nose, fingers, and feet were puffier. I’d never seen a woman more beautiful, had never felt the love of a woman so kind, and somehow, I made her happy.
She leaned over to kiss my palm, closed her eyes as her lips lingered against my skin for a bit, and then she worked to push herself off the sofa. “I’m going to find a tent to pull over my body, and then I should head to work. Oh, and don’t forget after this appointment, they’re every week.”
I nodded. “Already asked off.”
She bent down to kiss my lips. “Already a good daddy.”
She waddled toward the bedroom, and I sat stunned, unable to respond. My eyes filled with tears, and I wiped them quickly, clearing my throat. I never knew how much I’d needed to hear that. My father had been so fucking deplorable, and it wasn’t until that moment that I realized I’d needed to be freed from the fear that I’d be the same—a fear I didn’t know I had. “Thank you,” I said to an empty room.
The white Christmas lights twinkled, casting a warm, white glow against the orange that flickered from the fireplace. The entire living room was bathed in a soft light and I felt damn near euphoric. An engagement ring was on the agenda the second the stores opened after Christmas. I needed to marry that girl.
I sat back and relaxed, hearing Darby hum a lullaby to Maddie as she dressed. Her cell phone buzzed, the lit display catching my eye. It was from Stavros, updating Darby on Tilde.
“Baby,” I called, picking up her phone. “Stavros texted you. It’s something about Tilde.”
“Read it to me, please.”
I tapped the message with my finger and opened the text. I spoke loud so Darby could hear me. “Tilde passed away an hour ago surrounded by friends and family. Thank you for spending time with
her in her final days. I know she appreciated it. Funeral day and time will be announced soon.”
Darby stepped out of the bedroom wearing only a robe and a stunned expression. I stood, holding my hands out to her. “Honey, I’m sorry.”
She held me tight, her fists gripping my shirt. I rocked back and forth, paying attention to her every breath and sniffle, waiting for her to let me know how she needed me.
“She’s with the Lord now,” she said. She let go of my shirt. “It’s hard to know you don’t believe that.”
“Either way, her suffering is over,” I said.
Darby nodded and then hugged me again, letting me bear her weight as I rocked her back and forth. “The last time I went to a funeral was Chase and Dad’s. It makes me a wreck to think about another one.”
“You don’t have to go. Stavros would understand. He might even be glad to have you at work instead, if it’s in the morning during Ander’s shift.”
“No, I should go. Will you go with me?”
“Of course,” I said, squeezing her gently. “You know I will.”
She nodded and returned to the bedroom, walking more slowly this time, the bounce gone out of her step. Her phone felt cold and heavy in my hand. I looked down at the display, still curious about the unknown caller. Shawn being in the area twice in as many months had me on edge. Val was keeping an eye on him, but she had also found his whereabouts were being hidden. His brother Derek was likely helping him. She was also looking into that, but she wasn’t a computer genius and we had to be careful who we asked for help.
Even though we’d been careful, something didn’t feel right. I knew it was Shawn on the other end of the line. My thumb hovered over the phone button, and before I could stop myself, I clicked on Recent Calls. I scrolled down, seeing she’d gotten a call from an unknown number twice before.
I opened the garage door, used my key fob to start my truck so it would be warm for Darby, and went into the living room and sat, keeping an eye on the bedroom doorway. I scrolled through my contacts and hit Val’s name, then waited.
“Aw,” she said. “Did you call me to say Merry Christmas?”
“That, too,” I said. “How’s it going?”
“It’s going. How about you? How’s the new house?”
“Really good.”
“Oh yeah? That’s great. Congratulations. I’m still in the apartment.”
“Is your husband still there?” I asked.
“Of course he is. Whoever moves out loses the apartment. That’s why the divorce hasn’t been finalized yet. He wants the apartment.”
“But it was yours. Sawyer moved in with you, right? And if he liked the apartment and living with you so much, he probably shouldn’t have fucked Agent Davies.”
“Yeah, well…you can’t talk sense into an idiot. And if you’re wondering, yes, he can hear me.”
“So…I was wondering. Any movement?”
“Some. Nothing concerning.”
“You still think the brother is interfering?”
“Without a doubt. Sawyer is on it.”
“Sawyer?”
“He’s our tracker, and he’s good. He knows his way around a computer. He’s not on Derek’s level, but he can see where Shawn’s current location has been erased. Derek could be helping him leave base.”
“We’re at a disadvantage.”
“For now,” Val said. Her confidence was comforting, but it wasn’t enough.
“He’s planning something, Val. We can’t afford to be two steps behind. She’s four weeks out from birth. I’m worried he thinks this baby is mine and he’s waiting for her to be separated from me—meaning once she has the baby—to get her back. To take her back. Or if he finds out somehow the baby is his—”
“Trex, she has six extremely dangerous Marines right there at her disposal. You’re smart. You may be on defense, but you’ve got a hell of a team.”
“Just do me a favor. Look him up one more time. It’ll ring some bells, but I don’t think it matters at this point.”
“Will do,” she said, hanging up.
I put down the phone and sat down on the sofa, rubbing my hands together. Val was right, but I didn’t want to wait until something happened to act. I had to locate Shawn, and…dark thoughts were running through my head, things I’d seen happen to civilians in villages or suspected spies; things I never wanted to think about again.
I’ll need rope, and lots of it.
“Trex,” Darby said from the bedroom doorway.
I looked up. “Hey, babe. You ready?” I could see that she wasn’t. She was lacking pants and her hair was piled on top of her head.
“What are you doing?” she asked, holding her stomach.
I looked around. “I’m just waiting for you to get ready.”
“You were on the phone.”
“Oh yeah. Just telling some old coworkers Merry Christmas.”
She closed her eyes, her lashes pushing tears down her cheek. She turned around and disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door.
I stood and followed her, knocking twice before entering. The room was dark, the only light coming from the bathroom. I went in, seeing her brushing her hair and crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“She was right. You can look me in the eyes and lie right to my face?”
“What? Who was right?” I asked, confused.
She shook her head, loose, blond curls shaking back and forth. “Will I ever be able to trust you? Can I trust anything you’ve said up ’til now?”
“Darby, I don’t understand…”
“Val. I heard you talking to her. When were you going to tell me? Shawn’s been here? You don’t get to decide what I know when it concerns my life and my safety!”
I held up my hands. “Okay, just a second, let me explain. You’re nearing the end of your pregnancy. You’re experiencing Braxton-Hicks more every day, increasing in frequency and strength. I’m not lying to you, I’m just not telling you things that could upset you. I’m trying to take care of this on my own so you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.”
She shook her head. “One of these days, Trex…you’re going to run out of excuses. You don’t have the right to keep that from me.”
She put on a little makeup and pants, slipped on her shoes, then stood by the door. She held her phone up, tapping on it.
“You ready?” I asked, feeling like a kicked dog.
“I’m getting a cab.”
“Darby, I’ll take you. It’s safer, anyway.”
She wiped a tear. “I should have followed my gut and moved.”
“Babe,” I chided. I slid my arms around her and buried my face in her neck. “I love you. I’m just trying to keep you and Maddie safe.”
She turned to me, pointing at me with her phone. “I don’t like that it’s so easy for you to lie to my face! What else are you not telling me?”
My mouth opened. Before, I didn’t tell her about my past because I didn’t want to ruin the moment. Now I was afraid she’d leave. I sighed. “Darby, I’ve told you everything I could. The rest doesn’t matter.”
“No, but being able to trust you does. Damn you for proving Lane right!”
She yanked open the door and waddled to the truck. I jogged after her, opening the door and helping her into the passenger seat. She put on her seat belt and faced forward. By the time I got behind the wheel, Darby was crying into her hands.
“Baby, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”
“So Shawn’s been here? He knows where I am?”
“The important thing is you’re protected. He won’t come near you.”
She wiped her eyes, and the expression I hadn’t seen in so long—since the beginning—had returned. She was guarding herself, against the pain, the fear, the stress of what Shawn might do. She crawled back into that hole and stayed there for the remainder of the ride to work. Even the Christmas lights on the houses between our house and the hotel didn’t bring her out. H
er tears dried; the light in her eyes dimmed until it was completely gone.
I braked under the overhang and put the gear into Park. “Darby…”
“I’m okay,” she said, gathering her things.
“We’re in this together.”
“Actually, I have never felt more alone in my life.” As she climbed out of the truck, I turned off the ignition and followed her in.
Maya was just wrapping up, logging out of the computer system and hooking her purse strap over her shoulder. She looked exhausted.
“Where’s Lane?” Darby asked.
Maya shrugged. “She didn’t show up for her shift. Ander and Stavros are with the family, and you’re about to pop. So…I stayed.”
“I’m so sorry. She didn’t even call?”
Maya shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta crash. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Merry Christmas, Maya. Drive safe,” Darby said, putting away her personal items, then logging into the computer.
We were alone in the lobby, the only sound the front doors sweeping open and sliding shut as Maya left. The air kicked on, making the ornaments hanging from the ceiling swing back and forth. I stayed silent while Darby set up her workstation.
She was determined not to speak to me, deciding my fate without my input. I chose to let her cool off, to sit across the lobby, maybe win some points by ordering us food too pungent for Darby to ignore, not that I felt like eating. I dialed in some Asian and texted Naomi while I waited.
She was as unsympathetic as I figured she’d be. Naomi had told me to be honest. I thought I could control the situation. I’d led teams out of much harrier situations than this, so I figured this hiccup with Darby brushing me off because I was military would be less complicated. I was completely wrong on all counts.
Once the food finally arrived, it took me eating and the smell to fill the lobby before Darby finally took her share to her desk. She ate in silence, keeping her eyes anywhere but me.
“Darby,” I said when she seemed to be finished.
She packed up her food. “Go away.”
I retreated to my chair, and I waited. All night I waited, hoping by the time her shift was over she would be more open to hearing my reasoning—or at least listening to me beg. An hour before her shift was up, I decided to try again.
From Here to You Page 32