by Alisa Mullen
Despite being snowed in, I received the best Christmas presents I’ve ever been given. After three nights of fucking like teenagers who just lost their virginity and having no idea what the word satiated means, I take advantage of all the luxuries the Waldorf Astoria provided.
Each morning, I awake to Camden’s mouth on my generous breasts and the heat of his pleasure captivated by my thighs. He bathes me, feeds me a delicious breakfast, and then makes all the necessary arrangements we need every day. Not once did he complain about the obvious thousands of dollars he was spending on our time together. I thank him multiple times with both my words and the mouth the words came out of. He has a smile on his face every time he looks at me.
It was a beautiful time together, something I would never forget. I grew to love New York over our time together. Somehow, Camden shows me everything I was missing about New York. We never offer up much information about one another, but I do suspect that he has a girlfriend or someone that he is seeing from the few times I happen to walk by while he talks on the phone. He never lowers his voice or offers me bull shit. We both know that when our planes take off to different locations, we will never see each other again.
The last afternoon we have together, he prepares a light dinner, arranges for a couple’s massage in the suite, and surprises me with a beautiful Tiffany diamond ring. When I told them it was too much and I couldn’t accept it, he places his palm over mine and says he wants a part of himself to always be with me.
Camden taught me a lot about my body, about light bondage, and about what pleases a man to no end. He taught me that if I were to open myself to up to men, I would be well taken care of. When I was finally able to get on a plane to Florida, in first class, thanks to Camden, I thought about our time together and what I want for my future.
We decide on a quick goodbye, and even thought I know I will never see him again, I know that not only do I want to be the best I can be at the flute and in business, but I will need to live the fantasy world that Camden introduced me to. I promise myself that no matter how accomplished, popular, or wealthy I become in the future, I would want days like those spent with Camden to be a part of my lifestyle as well.
It took me many years to finally find myself in that happy abyss of diamonds, first class, and luxury. Sure, I could afford it on my own with my own thriving, multi-billion dollar company I was the CEO of, but it was much more meaningful coming from beautiful, wealthy men who saw true physical beauty in me. It was so refreshing to have both lives. I could be two people.
Luca and Lucia were both me.
Both of her.
It never hurt anyone until one day when it nearly destroys everything.
ONE
Ten Years Later
If you asked me ten years ago if I would be living in one of the coldest regions in the United States, my eighteen year old self probably would’ve bet you one thousand dollars - a lot of money for me at that time - that I’d decide on sunny Florida or Georgia. My life, in those innocent, barely adult eyes, catered to my future mid-level business and marketing position, my doting husband, and my adorable twins. One boy and one girl, of course.
Now that I am twenty-eight years old, I would be out one thousand dollars, a lovely husband, and the two rug rats, because today, I am trying to beat the low temperature of fifteen degrees Fahrenheit by asking my driver, Colin, to get the Lincoln ready an extra half hour early for my half mile commute to work. I am such a sucker for wealth.
My Louis Vuitton clad feet take the mere fifteen steps from the car to the front entrance of the Willis Tower, better known as the Sears Tower to most of America – damn buy outs – in downtown Chicago, but fuck it, if those weren’t the worst fifteen steps of my day.
Despite the gray day, and Colin’s announcement that snow was predicted later in the evening, I still wear my dark sunglasses through the beautifully luxurious lobby of the Willis and while I ride the elevator straight up eighty-five floors to my office.
Warm, sandy beaches, I think of as I start to pull off my Italian leather gloves and hand them to Annie, my personal assistant. She’s oblivious that I’m mentally checked out as she begins talking my ear off about her upcoming weekend – something I could have done without that morning. I wasn’t ready to work. I hated to work when it was this dreary outside.
Divider Marketing, Inc. had gone public last week and as it stood, my personal net worth sits at a cool three point two million dollars, having almost fifty-five percent of the shares in my family’s name. Does my family know? Of course they know I set money aside for them, but do they know how much? No fucking way. My mom and dad, blue collar, all-American citizens in Jacksonville, Florida, were always supportive of my success starting from a very young age. They sent me to a private flutist throughout my childhood when they realized my love of the instrument. Eventually, they invested more in those private lessons, so it could grace me with a scholarship to college. Wherever that college was they didn’t care. Never in their wildest dreams did they think I would get a full ride to New York University, where I worked my ass off to obtain a double major in business, because let’s face it – flutist don’t make actual money. Actual money was what I had in stocks, bonds, art, homes, diamonds, and written all over my face. Nevertheless, playing the flute is still where I find my calm. Well, except for my getaway weekends. Those are my most favorite past time… hands down. Hands all over me, actually. Hot, soothing hands with whispered intents make my stomach jump a little.
I live the good life and it is my secret alone. Apart from Annie, I have two people that work side by side with me at Divider. Leo and Mitch are two guys that I had a bulk of my courses with at NYU, and to this day, have never been able to understand what the draw to a keg party was. They tend to stay out of the nightlife and focus on numbers, allocations, financial trends, and most importantly, coding for software.
When Apple came out with the Application Store, the three of us spent hours talking and researching applications that would best help people in the new millennium. We own nearly twenty percent of the largest applications that are sold through the Application Store so every few days, over a box of Dunkin Donuts coffee, and equipped with jelly donuts, the three of us brainstorm at least another three to five applications that would find themselves on the App Store by the following week. We use this brand of marketing to start helping smaller companies get with the twenty-first century. The almost daily meetings are imperative to Divider. Leo and Mitch are the brains and I’m the beauty behind Divider. While I enjoy that part of the business very much, I hate the nitty-gritty details of meeting with people that have ideas to give us, trying to take a piece of the pie. Sure, sometimes it is necessary to bring them on to help as a consultant, but even those meetings piss me off because since college, I believe Leo and Mitch to be two of the smartest men that have ever lived. They, in turn, love that I took all my blood, sweat, and tears and got us up and off the ground years ago. I remember the sleepless nights and the painstaking accounts that no one wanted in this industry. I started off pinching a form of Ramen Noodles through an interactive application on a smart phone. We’ve been pinching hundred dollar bills instead of pennies ever since.
A year into our endeavor; they sat me down and asked me how and why I believed in the company and where I could get the startup capital. Those questions never had real answers. I looked at both of them and gave my most fantastic grin. After I swooped in with a most cuddly hug for both of them, I told them never to worry about money again. I wasn’t worried, but something about those two nerds from college made my heart sing and still does to this day. They may never know my penchant for dirty sex and lavish gifts, but I like to think that if they ever knew, they’d ignore that side of me. I can’t imagine them being too angry. Well, I hope they might find some compassion for my addiction.
I knew then I had enough jewelry in my safe to get us started and let’s just say, an anonymous donor got us up and running. After many demands to know
, I just said, “Girls need to have some secrets, boys.” I playfully squealed at our new office, kissed them both on the cheek, and begged off to all the staff interviews that week. I hated meeting with people even back then so they’d let it slide.
Now, I come in for our powwows and my love of prettying up campaigns. I meet up with Annie and she goes over the social events that Divider is expected to be a part of now that we were in the top five most lucrative firms in Chicago. The boys, as I call them, have absolutely no idea how to hold a champagne flute, give a succinct toast, a riveting speech, or talk money shop with potential investors. It’s so cliché, but yes, I’m the walking, talking poster for Divider and I play it well knowing they are huddled in conference rooms, being the brains they are. I like to believe that we all knew our roles and the three of us are quite comfortable in them.
After the business had been flourishing for a year, Mitch was growing tired of being a guinea pig, so I threw two assistants at him, both graduates of MIT. One of them accepted his daily intellectual challenges and threw it back into his face. Rachel became more to Mitch. Much more. Now Mitch is married to his Rachel, with two kids. He hardly ever complained about another thing again, except how she challenges him at home. All men need challenges every now and again.
Leo’s a different story. He’s so damn pigheaded that he picks apart every transaction and person until there is nothing left. The guy is always unhappy and since it is money and the business that made him unhappy, I had a friend do a small favor and pay him a visit every Friday evening around ten. Since that first weekend, Leo has been as chill as a surfer dude in Hawaii.
If those two are happy, they don’t question why I’m not sitting in on important meetings or why I wear my sunglasses unless I’m alone with only certain people or behind closed doors. They’ll never understand that as much as I love the life Divider has provided me, the pride it gave me – to do this on my own and to know I would always be secure financially is not where my happiness stems from.
“Mark would like to know if you’d like to meet for dinner at Palo’s tonight,” Annie begins to say. This is the time where she chirps off my social calendar for the rest of the week, and normally, I listen with great interest to the gentlemen that want to have dinner with me. Today, I just want out of this fucking awful weathered city.
“Annie, I’m going to take tomorrow and Friday off to look into a business down south,” I say as I whirl around, lower my sunglasses, and wink at her. A small smirk flashes across her face before she straightens and looks around to be sure we didn’t draw any attention.
“Of course, Luca. Shall I tell them you would like a rain check then?” she asks as we continue down the hall to my two thousand square foot office that includes a sitting room, a bathroom, and okay, a closet with an automatic runner. Sweet dreams are made from money and I have the sweetest dreams.
“Don’t you mean snow check? Ugh, when will this filthy weather give up already?” I ask rhetorically.
Annie knows she doesn’t have to answer, so instead goes on to ask what services she can provide in my absence.
“I’ll call you tomorrow at eleven to check in. Mitch, Leo, and I will do our hour following your updates. You all know the drill. If there are any problems, I’ll be sure to update everyone’s calendar.”
I open the door to my toasty warm office and find the boys have already made themselves comfortable in my sitting area. I walk around to look at the forms on my desk.
“Do you need me to sign all of these now?” I ask taking off my glasses just as Annie clicks the door shut.
She nods and I take a seat to start signing the twenty or so papers.
“Well, hi Luca. Nice to see you, too,” Mitch starts.
I look up to him and blow a kiss. Leo pretends to catch it and then the two of them are instantly in some sort of boy like wrestling session.
“How old are you two?” I question.
“Luca, I can answer that question if I could be frank, “Annie states.
I looked up to her, amused. I nod for her to continue.
“They are smarter than any two men I know, but I’m not sure that they ever got rid of their Batman underwear.”
Both men stop wrestling and look at Annie in shock. I bust out in laughter and high five her. Annie is simply fabulous. If I had a best friend, she would be it. I think she knows it, too. However, my life is too busy for a best friend to grab martinis or eat ice cream with. I have places to go and people to meet. She and I occasionally get these few moments at work to act like the twenty something chicks we are, but outside of this building, she would never be able to understand my life style choice.
“Annie, Mitch, Leo – I’m going to Georgia for the rest of the week to do some business exploration down there.”
“Bull shit,” Mitch spits out. “You hate the weather and you’re making an excuse to get out of it.”
No one says anything. He is right, but I will drum up business there and everyone knows it. I finish signing the papers on my desk and hand them to Annie with an eye roll. No one understands me here and the more I try to explain myself, the more I feel like this place is a fucking prison of butch women, wanting their way with me in the bathroom.
“Tell Colin to have Margie get me packed and ready to go in an hour,” I state without a glance in either of my partners’ direction.
“But we will really miss you,” Leo whines like a little child. Annie snickers as she makes her way out my door and presumably down to her office.
“Luca, your assistant is so fucking hot,” Leo announces. I look up to find him slack jawed, eyes trailing Annie’s movements down the hall through the little slice of window that exposes me to the rest of the office. I should cover that up, I think, until the horror of what Leo has said completely registers.
With our jaws dropped, both Mitch and I stare at him. “Since when?” Mitch asks as I exclaim, “That is disgusting! She’s my assistant!”
Leo shrugs like it’s no big deal but for Leo – he gets off on computers and brand new BIC pens. He color codes his socks, as I once confirmed during our senior year at NYU. I wasn’t sure if he ever thought about women unless they were in his lap. Stretching his arms, Leo hugs the back of the couch with a small smirk. Was he holding out on us? Of course, I couldn’t be too mad. If these boys knew what I really did in my spare time, well…I pray we would still be friends.
No one actually knows who I am. Hell, sometimes I forget, and think I’m an actress living a privileged life. The closest I come to being my true self is around these boys. They are NYU geeks and I related to their club better than any other group on campus. Equations and formulas were my thing until I started living my other life. I quickly stand up and go to sit in the middle of them.
“Yeah, well – you are too out of her league, Leo. What happened to that lovely brunette who you’re banging?” I ask, putting my arms around both my boys’ shoulders.
“We still bang.” No emotion accompanies that statement. Leo is stating a fact in Leo style.
The three of us sit there in an awkward silence for a while until I clear my throat.
“Did you just say bang?” I ask looking at him with a grin.
Leo, in the true boring conversationalist form, shrugs again. Ugh, yes I am the most like myself with these guys, but holy shit we are so fucking boring.
“So what’s on your calendar for the rest of the week?” I ask, moving to return back to my desk.
“We have two engineering meetings. You know nothing that you would ever care about,” Mitch states.
I look up and sigh, placing a manicured hand on my pin stripped suited hip. “Oh cut the shit, Mitch. You know I don’t understand all that mumbo jumbo. Give me numbers and I’ll make them look any way you want them to, but shit, engineering? What is the program?”
“Something to do with another GPS tracking application because Lord knows we can’t have enough of those,” Leo says, rolling his eyes.
“I
thought we did well with our map application. Mapperz is cool.” I purse my lips and scrunch up my nose to think about why people feel the need to compare one program’s directions to ten others. They all get you to the same place. Mapperz comes equipped with police and accident trackers, and it will cost us more to make a new app, but if people want to buy it, it might not kill us to spend the week, making it happen. I mean, it won’t kill Leo and Mitch. They can bitch all they want, but this is their game, their passion. I am along for the ride because we are as tight now as we were in college and well, it was the three of us coming up with the company on napkins at a coffee shop in our last semester in college.
Despite all of that, I don’t feel bad about getting out of the snow for a few days. They knew me, the Florida girl with perpetual cold feet. They knew I drummed up business anywhere and everywhere I went. Nevertheless, Luca and winter are not friends but no matter what happens, I will never permanently leave Chicago. I am owned by Divider and these geeks so in return, I own them. I can’t disrespect that by permanently moving anywhere else. That didn’t mean I wasn’t willing to travel to get what I really want every weekend.
What I really want is just a matter of a few phone calls away to my dearest acquaintance, Carl. Carl is my token gay friend who has a penchant for hooking me up with what people might call one night stands. Except they aren’t really “one night” and there is a lot more to the “stand” than sex. No, I wasn’t paid for sex or my time. That would make me a hooker and excuse me, but I have more money than most women my age or any age for that matter. No, I enjoy the men, the flowers, the gowns, the envious looks from other men and women, the jewelry, and finally, the mindless orgasms each and every one of those men gives to me. Whether I have to teach them or they come fully trained, I am always richer in experience after the nights with my secret men.