New York Deep

by Andrew J. Morgan

  Standing carefully, he picked up his bag and felt his way forward step by step, feeling out with his foot for the ledge, and then the ramp. When he found it, relief overwhelmed him. He shuddered, the energy growing stronger in him. It seemed to draw away his pain, leave the damaged flesh and bone behind. He stepped onto the ramp, walked slowly down it, and by the time he had reached the bottom, the pain was gone. The sphere, he could see it, but not with his eyes—with his soul. Where his mortal senses interpreted his surroundings through electric impulses, the sphere connected with him directly, a sense so clear and pure that there was no doubting it. Josh walked toward the sphere, at first timidly, eventually striding with confidence. He lowered his hands, no longer feeling his way, letting the sphere guide him.

  He almost fell when he hit something hard, and cold. He clung onto it to steady himself, feeling a mix of smooth metal and squidgy rubber.

  'The robots,' he said to himself. He negotiated his way around them, and continued to the sphere. He was close, so close. The energy shuddered through him. He followed its wake, right to its origin. The sphere, it was right there. He had arrived. Without sight it was more beautiful and spectacular than before, a warmth and light that spoke to him, and only him. Without fear he stepped in, and what he thought was darkness became nothing.

  Chapter 17

  'Don't forget, we've got a party to go to on Saturday.'

  Josh looked up from his laptop. Georgie was changing Joseph, who was gurgling contentedly. 'What's that?'

  'One of the other kids at preschool is having a party on Saturday, remember?'

  Josh thought back. He did remember. Shit. 'I said I'd work on Saturday.'

  Georgie didn't seem to miss a beat. 'Okay, sure,' she said.

  'Is that okay?'

  'Sure.'

  Josh returned to his laptop. He was planning a surprise trip for the three of them to Niagara Falls for their seven-year wedding anniversary. Georgie had always wanted to go, but until now, Josh had never been able to find the time.

  'You did promise,' Georgie said, buttoning up Joseph's romper. She picked him up, bobbing him up and down while he sang and gurgled.

  Josh thought he'd been let off too easy. 'Did I?'

  'You know you did.'

  He did. 'I'm sorry,' he said, closing the laptop and putting it to one side. He stood and approached Georgie, who turned her shoulder to him. He put his arms around her and Joseph. 'I'll make it up to you, I promise.'

  'Will you?' Georgie said cynically.

  'Of course I will.' He kissed her on the temple. 'You'll see.'

  'Okay.'

  'All right then. I have to go and get ready for work now.'

  'Okay.'

  Josh had a shower and got himself dressed, leaving Georgie with Joseph. The uneasy guilt that followed him around was still there; the only thing that overshadowed it was the looming deadline to finish excavating the staging area and start the first tunnel of the East Side Access. Four weeks they had left. Four weeks. It seemed like they needed four months. The big boss was pulling in all the overtime he could get; flooding had slowed progress right down, but they all knew that excuse was never going to fly when the rest of the project got held up. Over in Queens, the contractor coming in from the other side was actually ahead of schedule. Josh was well aware that being shown up by them was a surefire way to hand the entire job over to their team.

  He would have to swallow the guilt down and get on with it. Four more weeks of overtime, then it was back on schedule. He'd take Georgie and Joseph to Niagara Falls, they'd have a great time, and everything would go back to normal.

  Normal. He didn't even remember what that was any more. Ever since Joseph had been born, it seemed like his life had lost meaning. He was happy and everything, thrilled to be a father, but all of a sudden his workmates, his job, all of it seemed somehow—pointless. But he had to do it. He had to keep working. For his family.

  Georgie would be back in work soon, but he didn't want her to be; he wanted her to be able to stay at home and enjoy her time with Joseph. She didn't much like her job—she was an HR manager—so Josh convinced himself to work hard, work the overtime and build their savings so she could quit permanently. She'd mentioned starting a small flower arranging business; perhaps she'd be able to do that from home.

  Dressed, he grabbed his keys and gave Georgie and Joseph a kiss goodbye. Georgie passed Joseph to him and he cradled him in the crook of his arm. Truth be told, he still got butterflies every time he held him. He was so small, so delicate, and it made Josh nervous. What if he dropped him, or held him wrong, or—

  'He really loves you,' Georgie said, smiling down at Joseph, who was staring at Josh.

  'Does he? All he seems to do is shit and eat.'

  Georgie chuckled. 'Of course he does. You're his daddy.'

  Josh looked at Joseph, and Joseph looked at Josh. You really switched things up, Josh thought. He was in limbo, unable to feel at home being a father, unable to enjoy his work and his friends like he used to. Everything was distant, and he didn't know how to fix it. Did Georgie know how he felt? He hoped not. He didn't want to let her down.

  So he worked. Hard. If he couldn't be a father, he could still be a provider. Everything they ever wanted, both of them. He could give them that. Josh handed Joseph back. 'And you're his mommy,' he said.

  Georgie took Joseph and kissed him on the nose. Joseph was still staring at Josh. 'Say bye-bye, Joseph,' Georgie whispered to him. With a free hand, she wiggled Joseph's arm so it looked like he was waving goodbye.

  'Goodbye, Joseph,' Josh said. He leaned in to give Georgie a kiss. 'And goodbye, you. I love you.'

  'I know,' Georgie replied.

  The Saturday came and went, and the next, and the next. In a week, Josh planned to surprise Georgie with the trip to Niagara Falls. It was all booked and ready to go, flights, hotels, the lot. He couldn't wait to tell her. He'd nearly let slip a couple of times, but thankfully he'd managed to stifle himself before she'd caught on. She was clever, though; he'd have to be careful if he didn't want her to piece the puzzle together.

  With some hard graft and a lot of luck—the drill had hit a pocket of softer material within the schist—Josh's team had pulled the schedule back on track, and Josh was relieved that he'd be able to take the time off with his family. Perhaps he'd get to bond some more with Joseph.

  'Niagara Falls, huh?' Lionel said, taking a slurp of coffee. The sun beat down as they took their lunch break topside at the usual.

  'Yeah, Georgie's always wanted to go.'

  'She's never been? It's pretty amazing.'

  'No, she hasn't. Neither have I. I'm looking forward to it.'

  Lionel, waving his sandwich, said, 'How long are you going for?'

  'Four days.'

  'You flying?'

  'Yeah.'

  'Coach?'

  'First class.'

  Lionel, mouth full, nodded. 'Nice . . .' he mumbled.

  'It's our anniversary, so I wanted it to be special.'

  Swallowing, Lionel said, 'You could have taken a week if you wanted to.'

  Picking at his own sandwich, Josh said, 'Yeah, I know. But we've got too much to do here. I don't want to let the team down.'

  Lionel snorted. 'What, you think you're irreplaceable? You're an ant, boy. I could get a hundred just like you'—he clicked his fingers—'in a snap.'

  Josh laughed. 'I know,' he said. Then he felt—empty. 'But I—I want to stay on top of it, you know, keep focus.'

  Lionel put his sandwich down and placed a hand on Josh's shoulder. 'You still worried about Joseph?'

  Josh shrugged. It made him feel small to admit it. He'd mentioned it to Lionel when Joseph was born, casually asking for advice, hoping that Lionel wouldn't make a big deal of it. And he hadn't. He'd reassured him, told him it would all come in time, all the usual. That'd had been nearly a year ago. He'd hoped Lionel would have forgotten all about that by now.

  'You don't have to carry this all by
yourself,' Lionel said, sitting back. 'I'm your friend—talk to me.'

  'It's fine,' Josh said.

  'Is it?'

  'Can we talk about something else?'

  Lionel sighed. 'If that's what you want.' He returned to eating his sandwich, in silence.

  Grinding his teeth, Josh stubbornly ignored Lionel. He took a great, snatching bite of his own sandwich, chewed it and swallowed. What did Lionel know? He was divorced, had been for years. Kids were teenagers now. Things were different for him back when they were young. His was a big family; they'd got lots of support, while Josh—his family were all the way out in Maine, and they barely ever saw them. Georgie had no family, so it was just them. Just the three of them, in their apartment, all the time. No air, no time to breathe. He couldn't bear it.

  The subject didn't come up again.

  On the day of the flight, Josh could feel a cold coming on. Work was exhausting, and on his first day off in God knows how long, it was like he'd let his guard down and the bugs had just walked themselves right in. He downed some pills, the last in the packet. 'Remind me to get some more cold medicine at the airport,' he called out to Georgie, who was out in the kitchen frying up pancakes.

  'Sure,' she called back. 'You feeling unwell?'

  'Got a cold coming on.'

  'Oh, baby,' she said. 'Hopefully the fresh air at Niagara will do you some good. Clean out the bad city stuff.'

  Josh could hear the frying pan clang and pancakes being loaded onto plates.

  'Breakfast's ready!' Georgie announced.

  Josh pulled on his socks, rubbed his face and went to the kitchen, greeted by the smell of Maple syrup and a beaming Georgie. He'd told her about the trip that morning when they'd woken up, and she'd screamed. It was a hell of a way to start the day.

  'How long have you had this planned?' she said, laying his plate down, still grinning.

  'A while,' Josh said, picking at the pancakes with his fork. He took a bite; the flavor, although good, was dulled by his throbbing sinuses. Great.

  Georgie was looking at the tickets, her own pancakes untouched, when her eyes widened. 'First class?' she squeaked. 'These must have been really expensive.'

  'Steve knows a guy at the airline. Got us a discount.'

  Georgie looked fit to burst with happiness. If there was one thing Josh knew she liked, it was a bargain. 'Thank you,' she said. Her eyes filled.

  'Happy anniversary.'

  Georgie leaned across the table and squeezed his hand. He could feel her quivering. 'I only got you a card,' she said. Her lip trembled, too.

  Josh squeezed back. 'You gave me a son,' he said. 'That's the best present anyone can have.'

  Georgie smiled a watery smile, and nodded.

  'Anyway, cheer up,' Josh said. 'We're going to Niagara Falls!'

  Georgie beamed again, eyes red and shining. 'I love you,' she said.

  'I love you.'

  They got the cold medicine at the airport like they planned, and all loaded up with pills, Josh reclined his leather seat and shut his eyes. His head was beginning to throb, and he hoped it would clear by the time they landed in around an hour. Georgie was bouncing Joseph on her knee, jiggling Josh's leg, so he moved it.

  'Sorry,' Georgie said, moving her own leg.

  Josh didn't open his eyes. 'That's fine.'

  'Are you feeling okay? How are your sinuses?'

  'I've just got a headache. I'm trying to sleep it off.'

  'Okay, sorry.'

  'That's okay.'

  Josh jostled awake when the plane touched down. He stretched—his headache had gone. They had a cab waiting for them just outside the airport, ready to take them to their hotel. As the driver loaded their suitcases, Josh's cell rang. It was Lionel.

  'I've got to take this,' he said, wandering away for some privacy. He answered. 'Hello?'

  'It's Lionel.'

  'What can I do for you, Lionel?'

  Lionel sighed. He was struggling to say whatever it was he needed to say. 'We've got some guys off sick. We need you.'

  'I'm on vacation.'

  'I know, I know, and I'm sorry, but work has ground to a halt and I can't do anything until you're here. You'll get a big bonus on this, if that helps?'

  Josh took the cell away from his ear. He looked over at Georgie, who was wrangling Joseph into the cab. He'd slept on the plane and was full of energy, bawling his eyes out and twisting and thrashing.

  'Come on!' Georgie called out to Josh. Josh returned to his call.

  'I'm sorry, Lionel, I don't think I can. I would normally, but—you know . . .'

  'Okay, sure, I understand,' Lionel said. 'But . . .'

  'But what?'

  'But we've still got the big boss on our asses from the delay on the staging area. I can't afford to lose more time, not when we've just got it back.'

  Josh folded his arms. 'That's not fair.'

  'You think I don't know that? You think I want to be having this call? I'm telling you how it is—you're the one that needs to make the decision.'

  Josh screwed up his face while he thought. 'How much is the bonus?'

  'Five thousand.'

  That was a lot of money. They really must be desperate. 'How long do you need me?'

  'It could be one day, it could be all four.'

  'So I could come down one day and get back for the rest of my vacation?'

  'Maybe. Depends when the other guys come back in.'

  'What's up with them?'

  'Colds.'

  Colds should clear up enough in one day. Josh could get there, work a day, and be back in Niagara with Georgie and Joseph in no time. The five thousand would pay the vacation off several times over. It would mean that Georgie could stay at home, not have to go back to work. 'Okay, I'll do it.'

  'You don't want to check with Georgie first?'

  'Nah, she'll understand.'

  'Okay, if you think that's best. When will you be here?'

  Josh looked at his watch. 'I'll get the next flight back. A couple of hours, three at the most?'

  'Okay, see you then.'

  'See you then.' Josh hung up. Then he took a deep breath. He approached the cab. 'Georgie,' he said, trying to smile. 'I've got some bad news . . .'

  Chapter 18

  'Boss, are you there? I can't see shit.'

  Craig's voice. Josh opened his eyes. 'I'm here,' he said. 'I think—' He stopped. Something was different. Something that itched in the back of his brain.

  'Boss?' Craig shouted.

  It was like a tick gnawing in his head. He knew there was something he was supposed to remember. 'Gas,' he said eventually. 'I think there is gas in here.' The tick gnawed further, an unreachable tickle that needed to be scratched.

  'All right, well let's get you out of there, then. Sorry I took so long—'

  'Getting the ladder . . .' Josh muttered to himself.

  'What's that?'

  Josh snapped from his daze. 'What? Oh, nothing.' How did Josh know what Craig was going to say? Why was this familiar? He headed for the moonlike hole glowing in the darkness, instinctively swerving around—what? What was he swerving around? For some reason, his senses expected to feel cool metal, soft rubber. But why? It made no sense, yet his fingers tingled with the anticipation.

  'You okay?' Craig asked him as he approached the ladder hanging off the edge of the moonlike hole.

  Josh blinked, then began climbing the ladder. 'Yeah, fine, just a little light-headed.'

  Craig helped him up. 'Does sound like gas,' he began.

  Probably a natural pocket, Josh thought.

  Craig peered into the blackness. 'Probably a natural pocket.'

  Josh felt a headache coming along, dizziness following close behind. 'We need to get out of here,' he said, stumbling toward the drill, leaving a concerned-looking Craig at the entrance to the room.

  'Josh?' Craig called after him, striding to catch up. 'What's going on?'

  'I don't know, but we need to get out of here. All of us
. Now.'

  Craig took a moment to respond. 'O—Okay, boss, whatever you say. I'll get the team evacuated.' Lifting his radio from his pocket, he called back to Lionel to tell him what was happening. Josh kept on walking, back through the tunnel to where the rest of the team awaited, and by the time he got there, he felt absolutely exhausted.

  'What's happening?' Steve asked.

  Josh didn't respond. Breezing past, he was heading straight for the train.

  'Hey, wait up!' Craig shouted from somewhere behind. Josh stopped. His mind felt like it carried on moving forward, latent momentum that made him want to sick his guts up. The others came running over, and he felt an arm on his back as he leaned forward to right himself.

  'Hey, man, are you okay?' Craig asked him, leaning close. Josh stood tall, pushing him aside.

  'I'm fine,' he said. 'I'm fine. Come on, let's go.'

  All right,' Craig said, sounding unconvinced, 'let's get out of here.'

  The team made no audible protest; Josh could feel their attention was placed his way, out of concern. 'I'm fine, really,' he tried to reassure them, but the silence and ashen faces he got in return were clear to understand. They rode the train without another word, heading for the tunnel exit.

  When they arrived, Josh disembarked first, and Craig jogged to catch up. 'What's going on?' he asked.

  'Nothing,' Josh said, taking big strides up the stairs to the elevator shaft.

  Craig grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him. They faced each other, eye to eye, and Craig signaled to the others to hang back. 'It's not nothing,' he said, staring at Josh, unblinking, until Josh had to look away. 'Come on, Josh. Tell me. Something happened in there, didn't it?'

  'I don't know. It's . . .' Josh began. His stomach turned again as his mind raced with electricity.

  'It's what?' Craig said, gripping Josh's shoulder hard.

  Josh sighed. He may as well say it out loud. Perhaps it'd help. 'There's something in there.'