It gets easier as I climb higher.
I use branches as stepping stones.
A gust of wind blows my hair back.
I pause, gripping the trunk until it passes.
I look for the next branch,
but all I see is the blackness of the midnight sky.
I unzip the front pocket of my backpack
and retrieve the small flashlight.
I grip it between my teeth
and continue climbing
farther from the ground,
higher in the sky.
I reach for a branch. It wobbles in my hand.
“Retreat, retreat!” a little voice in my head says.
But I can’t, I’m already halfway there.
Looking down from the top of the tree,
Feeling the leaves and wind
brush against my skin,
I’m here, floating with the air.
The world feels like air…
A few nightingales flutter by my side.
I laugh. My voice booms through the forest.
…and the forest
will shield me from reality.
I’m invincible! Infinite! Dreamlike!
My mind fills with
dreams of a sleeping sun…
I pull out the box and take off the lid.
Once the next big gust of wind hits,
I toss her ashes and watch her fly,
specks soaring through the night.
…grant me the power to fly.
Seven days left of summer.
Asher calls me.
He turns eighteen next week.
Then he’ll be gone.
“Cruising the Caribbean
and climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.”
I hope he really does.
“Memento vivere,” he says.
“That’s my motto.”
LIST OF DRAWING EXERCISES
42) Re-create a memory.
Wildflower Park
seems different
than before.
Not better.
Not worse.
Just not somewhere
I can call Wonderland
anymore.
I sketch a memory,
no, more like an era.
The “Jamie and Erica” series
summed up in a picture
of one girl drawing
and one girl writing.
I close the gate.
As I walk away
I see someone standing
at the edge
of the forest.
Chris Rush
stands alone.
He drops roses
from his fingertips.
I join him in
a shivering stillness.
“Oh, hi Jamie,” he says.
“Um, I didn’t know where to go…
I hear you spread her ashes here.”
“Yeah, I did. But farther in the forest.”
He stares at his sneakers.
“So what are you doing here?”
I hold up my sketchbook.
“Oh.”
Silence creeps in,
an unwelcomed visitor.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He raises his eyes and catches mine.
“I’m sorry, too. For you.”
I scruff my sneaker in the dirt.
“Yeah, well, I was just her friend.”
I’m not sure
whether I’m lying to him
or finally being honest
with myself.
I turn away.
“You loved her,”
he says, like it was a known fact.
I guess there’s no point
in denying it now.
“Does that bother you?”
I don’t care much
either way.
He shrugs.
“Love sometimes, like,
overlaps between people,
you know?
You can’t stop feeling.”
“I should go.”
“Wait—Jamie.”
He grabs my shoulder.
I turn around.
His eyes are red.
“I think it was, like, really cool
what you did.”
I smile, a weak little half grin.
“Good-bye, Chris.”
Mom and I
go back-to-school shopping.
Binder? Check.
Loose-leaf paper? Check.
Pencils? Check.
I should grab a few
composition books.
I’ll need one for World History
and Chemistry, for sure.
I’m trying to move forward,
but while I search for
black-and-white
marbled covers,
I spot
familiar
brown leather.
I walk over to the next aisle
and find Mom inspecting
a graphing calculator.
“Jamie, do you have a…”
she pauses.
“Is something wrong?”
“No,” I say. “Nothing’s wrong.”
It’s true. I’m happy even.
I’ve made a firm decision.
“Mom,” I ask, smiling.
“Do you know of any good
publishing companies?”
SEPTEMBER
Today is
the first day
of another school year
I thought—we thought
we’d be sharing
with Erica.
Chris and I walk together,
backpacks hanging
from our shoulders,
wearing our school uniform
of jeans and a T-shirt.
I want nothing more
than to crawl back home
and hide behind
my sketchbook.
I bet Chris would like to
escape in his music.
We keep on walking,
listening to the wind flowing,
our mouths never moving.
That’s what we do
for now.
We walk and
keep walking.
About the Author
The first story Melanie Batchelor ever wrote was called Cats and Dogs. It was a five-sentence “book” constructed of printer paper and clear tape, featuring the misspelling of its own author’s name. Fortunately, Melanie’s writing has improved since kindergarten.
Melanie finished her first novel-length story at age twelve and wrote her second manuscript, remember me, at age fourteen. She has participated in several writing workshops and has met many talented teen writers along the way. Melanie is always looking to expand her knowledge, reading everything from young adult fiction to medieval history. She hopes to travel the world, open a used bookstore in the city, and write a bestseller—after, of course, she graduates high school.
Melanie currently lives with her family in Silver Spring, Maryland. You can visit her online at www.melaniebatchelor.com
Soliloquy Titles From Bold Strokes Books
remember me by Melanie Batchelor. After a tragic event occurs, teenager Jamie Richards is left questioning the identity of the girl she loved, Erica Sinclair. (978-1-62639-184-0)
Frenemy of the People by Nora Olsen. Clarissa and Lexie have despised each other as long as they can remember, but when they both find themselves helping an unlikely contender for homecoming queen, they are catapulted into an unexpected romance. (978-1-62639-063-8)
The Balance by Neal Wooten. Love and survival come together in the distant future as Piri and Niko faceoff against the worst factions of mankind’s evolution. (978-1-62639-055-3)
The Unwanted by Jeffrey Ricker. Jamie Thomas is plunged into danger when he discovers his mother is an Amazon who needs his help to save the tribe from a vengeful god. (978-1-62639-048-5)
Because of Her by KE Payne. When Tabby Morton is for
ced to move to London, she’s convinced her life will never be the same again. But the beautiful and intriguing Eden Palmer is about to show her that this time, change is most definitely for the better. (978-1-62639-049-2)
Asher’s Fault by Elizabeth Wheeler. Fourteen-year-old Asher Price sees the world in black and white, much like the photos he takes, but when his little brother drowns at the same moment Asher experiences his first same-sex kiss, he can no longer hide behind the lens of his camera and eventually discovers he isn’t the only one with a secret. (978-1-60282-982-4)
The Seventh Pleiade by Andrew J. Peters. When Atlantis is besieged by violent storms, tremors, and a barbarian army, it will be up to a young gay prince to find a way for the kingdom’s survival. (978-1-60282-960-2)
The Missing Juliet: A Fisher Key Adventure by Sam Cameron. A teenage detective and her friends search for a kidnapped Hollywood star in the Florida Keys. (978-1-60282-959-6)
Meeting Chance by Jennifer Lavoie. When man’s best friend turns on Aaron Cassidy, the teen keeps his distance until fate puts Chance in his hands. (978-1-60282-952-7)
Lake Thirteen by Greg Herren. A visit to an old cemetery seems like fun to a group of five teenagers, who soon learn that sometimes it’s best to leave old ghosts alone. (978-1-60282-894-0)
The Road to Her by KE Payne. Sparks fly when actress Holly Croft, star of UK soap Portobello Road, meets her new on-screen love interest, the enigmatic and sexy Elise Manford. (978-1-60282-887-2)
Swans and Klons by Nora Olsen. In a future world where there are no males, sixteen-year-old Rubric and her girlfriend Salmon Jo must fight to survive when everything they believed in turns out to be a lie. (978-1-60282-874-2)
Kings of Ruin by Sam Cameron. High school student Danny Kelly and loner Kevin Clark must team up to defeat a top-secret alien intelligence that likes to wreak havoc with fiery car, truck, and train accidents. (978-1-60282-864-3)
Wonderland by David-Matthew Barnes. After her mother’s sudden death, Destiny Moore is sent to live with her two gay uncles on Avalon Cove, a mysterious island on which she uncovers a secret place called Wonderland, where love and magic prove to be real. (978-1-60282-788-2)
Another 365 Days by KE Payne. Clemmie Atkins is back, and her life is more complicated than ever! Still madly in love with her girlfriend, Clemmie suddenly finds her life turned upside down with distractions, confessions, and the return of a familiar face… (978-1-60282-775-2)
The Secret of Othello by Sam Cameron. Florida teen detectives Steven and Denny risk their lives to search for a sunken NASA satellite—but under the waves, no one can hear you scream… (978-1-60282-742-4)
Andy Squared by Jennifer Lavoie. Andrew never thought anyone could come between him and his twin sister, Andrea…until Ryder rode into town. (978-1-60282-743-1)
Sara by Greg Herren. A mysterious and beautiful new student at Southern Heights High School stirs things up when students start dying. (978-1-60282-674-8)
Boys of Summer, edited by Steve Berman. Stories of young love and adventure, when the sky’s ceiling is a bright blue marvel, when another boy’s laughter at the beach can distract from dull summer jobs. (978-1-60282-663-2)
Street Dreams by Tama Wise. Tyson Rua has more than his fair share of problems growing up in New Zealand—he’s gay, he’s falling in love, and he’s run afoul of the local hip-hop crew leader just as he’s trying to make it as a graffiti artist. (978-1-60282-650-2)
[email protected] by KE Payne. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met? Imogen Summers thinks so because it’s happened to her. (978-1-60282-592-5)
Swimming to Chicago by David-Matthew Barnes. As the lives of the adults around them unravel, high school students Alex and Robby form an unbreakable bond, vowing to do anything to stay together—even if it means leaving everything behind. (978-1-60282-572-7)
365 Days by KE Payne. Life sucks when you’re seventeen years old and confused about your sexuality, and the girl of your dreams doesn’t even know you exist. Then in walks sexy new emo girl, Hannah Harrison. Clemmie Atkins has exactly 365 days to discover herself, and she’s going to have a blast doing it! (978-1- 60282-540-6)
Timothy by Greg Herren. Timothy is a romantic suspense thriller from award-winning mystery writer Greg Herren set in the fabulous Hamptons. (978-1-60282-760-8)
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