by Jan Moran
Really missing her. He missed her laugh. He missed her delight at new discoveries. He missed their time together.
Now he was stuck at work because it was the only place she hadn’t come to.
He couldn’t eat at his favourite Italian restaurant or have gelati or watch a movie in bed. Everything reminded him of Lily.
He clenched his fists into tight balls. His date with Candela had been a disaster because of him. He’d ruined it with his obnoxious behaviour.
He ran his fingers through his damp hair and finally accepted the fact that he needed help. The only way he could move on from Lily was to talk to someone. Someone who was honourable and decent. His father, his padre.
He would be able to help.
Travelling, so far, had met her expectations. Lily loved meeting new people, trying new foods, and sightseeing. For the past week, she’d been in New Orleans. The city was magical with its amazing food, friendly locals, and brilliant jazz bars.
She’d even toured around the surrounding areas, visiting the stately, plantation homes.
Yesterday she’d met up with an Australian couple, Rebecca and Zac, who were spending time travelling through the USA, England, and Europe.
That night she and Rebecca were having drinks and dinner together at one of the many fantastic restaurants.
“This is the big trip we saved up to do before we have children.” Rebecca had openly told her. “For years we focussed on our careers and saved money.”
“You’re still talking to each other?” Lily joked with her new friend.
“Yes.” Rebecca grinned from ear to ear. “It’s like how it first was when we were newly married. Not only are we spending time talking, we’re also having great sex.” She nudged Lily with her elbow. “We’ve really connected over this time.”
Rebecca sipped her drink. “Marriage is hard and you have to work hard at it. No one really tells you how it is.” She paused and fiddled with her straw. “This time together has allowed us to focus on us as a couple.”
Lily drained the last of her cocktail and signalled to the barman for another round. “These drinks are potent.”
“I know.” Her new friend giggled. “When I asked what was in them, he laughed at me and told me to just drink up.” Her voice slurred. “How many have we had?”
“Two? Three?” Lily shrugged. “Who knows? So where’s Zac tonight?”
“Out with a group of guys. Americans. All here on holiday and they included him.”
“You don’t mind him leaving you?”
“It’s one night, besides, I get to spend time with you. It’s great to have a girly chat.” Rebecca gave her a warm smile. “So tell me about you? Are you missing home?
“To be honest, yes.” Lily took a long drink, still a little surprised at herself for missing her life that she’d deemed boring and a repetitive drudge.
“Tell me,” her friend encouraged before popping a bite-sized crab cake into her mouth.
Lily sighed and poured out her heart. “For years all I wanted to do was to get away from my brothers, be free. Now that I’m here, I miss them…a lot.”
“From what you told me yesterday, I can understand you feeling stifled, needing to break free. Raising twin boys is not easy, especially when you’re mourning the loss of both parents,” Rebecca replied thoughtfully as she reached for another crab cake.
Lily took a sip of her cocktail. “I never made time for myself. I didn’t have the money for a holiday so I never had a break.” She stopped as she reflected over the past few years. “But I could have gone away overnight or even had time off. All I did was work and I ended up resenting my brothers. Which is really unfair because it was my fault, not theirs.” Lily felt her eyes sting with self-remorse and a recognition that she’d martyred herself. There had been no need to do.
Rebecca grabbed her hand, “Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s always easier to see things in hindsight. You’re also older now. Don’t beat yourself up.”
Lily twirled with the straw of her drink while mulling over Rebecca’s words.
“While you were staring at our drink, I just ordered another platter of crab cakes,” Rebecca said. “I’m going to be the size of a house by the time I get back home. The food here is so good.”
Lily gave her a weak smile, pushing away the “pity party” in her head and focussing on her new friend. “The favours of the foods are amazing, want to try a jambalaya next?”
“You’re on,” Rebecca said before giving the cute bartender a smile.
“You’re flirting?” Lily wagged her eyebrows.
“It’s just a smile. Besides, I may be married, but I’m not dead. He’s hot. Maybe you should ask him out?” Rebecca gave her arm a playful jab. “He’s giving you the eye.”
“Really?” Lily swivelled around and sure enough the cute guy was looking at her. He gave her a quick smile before serving another customer. Her heart lifted, and she couldn’t believe he’d been checking her out.
“Unfortunately, I’m still hung up on a six foot plus Argentinian Australian hunk whose dark eyes remind me of dark chocolate with a hint of spiced orange,” Lily added. “Fool that I.”
“What did he do? Cheat? Gamble? Steal?”
Lily took another long sip of her drink. “I’m tipsy so I’m going to tell you everything.”
“I’m tipsy too,” her friend sang and they clinked their glasses in acknowledgment. “What happened with Mr Wonderful?”
“He wanted to get married.”
“What?” Rebecca yelled out. “I wasn’t expecting that,” she said in a much quieter voice.
“I forgot to add, he doesn’t want to marry me because I fell in love with him.” She paused. “It’s complicated.”
“Honey, I got all night.” Rebecca placed her hand on hers. “Talk it out.”
Lily looked up, catching the gaze of her friend. “I miss him so much, but there’s no future for the two of us. I still think about him even though it’s been weeks since I left.”
“Men can be…difficult,” Rebecca said in a reassuring tone.
“He was upfront. I knew from the beginning it was only a fling,” Lily said with determination. “I didn’t plan to fall in love, it just happened.” She drained the last of her drink and enjoyed the light-headedness it gave her.
Rebecca signalled for more drinks before returning her attention to Lily. “I get it. Sometimes love works in strange ways.”
“You and Zac?” Lily raised her eyebrow, interested to know more.
“Zac had been dating this girl for years. The parents were pressuring them to marry. Much to the parents’ horror and his girlfriend’s outrage he broke it off.” She stopped and ate another crab cake. “He knew deep down that he didn’t want to marry her. They’d settled into a familiar ease.”
“He did the right thing, even though she must have been devastated.”
“It wasn’t easy, especially when he met me a couple of months later. Within two weeks we were engaged.”
“That’s so romantic.”
“It is, but it also caused problems as everyone assumed I was the ‘rebound’ girlfriend.” Rebecca made quotation marks in the air when she said rebound. “But, when I met him, I knew he was the one. I’d dated enough to know he was the one for me. I’m really thankful he had the courage to stand up for his beliefs, otherwise, I would never have met him.”
“Wow,” Lily said with a sigh. “That’s the kind of romance I love to hear about.”
“We had our beautiful wedding but over the years our time together got stale. Being away from the pressures of work and our families has been great. We even have morning sex, something we haven’t had time to do for ages.”
“Not everyone gets the fairytale ending,” Lily said and sighed. “I thought I’d found it with Diego but it just didn’t work out.”
“Zac’s ex has found someone new and is happy. She’s grateful for what he did, even though at the time, she wanted to rip his throat out.”<
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Lily snorted.
Rebecca covered her hand with hers. “These cocktails are making me woozy so I hope I’m making sense. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. You can’t force love. If he doesn’t want to marry you then you need to accept it and move on.”
Lily’s shoulders sagged under her friend’s thoughtful advice. She was right. Diego didn’t love her. She needed to find someone who appreciated her and wanted to spend their life with her. Like Rebecca’s husband, Diego had been upfront about his feelings and attitudes to her.
Like Zac’s ex, she’d been upset over the rejection but in the end, it had been the right decision for them both.
Applying the same logic to herself, she needed to get over Diego because he didn’t see her as someone he wanted to have a family with and grow old with.
Her friend had opened her eyes to the complexities of love.
“Let me give you some advice,” Rebecca continued. “If this bloke happens to get in touch with you, listen to what he has to say.”
Lily raised her eyebrow unable to believe that was the advice. “That’s it?”
“That’s it,” Rebecca said in a definitive, all-knowing tone. “Men want to be listened to.”
“You seem awfully sure.” Lily sighed.
Rebecca gave her a cheeky smile. “I know what I’m talking about.”
The two burst out laughing.
“I’m glad I met you. Thanks for all your advice.” Lily stood, walked over on unsteady legs and gave her new friend a warm hug.
Two weeks later Lily was loving the mad rush of New York and doing all the touristy things like visiting sites and museums. She also loved soaking up the atmosphere of the vibrant city and walked up and down the streets, looking at shops, the skyscrapers, and the mad rush of people around her. It was exhilarating, it was exhausting. The pace was fast and nonstop.
Having available WiFi almost everywhere in New York was a bonus. Sitting in her new found favourite café, Lily checked her emails while sipping a hot chocolate.
She gasped, unable to believe there was an email from Diego in her Inbox. She hadn’t heard from him in weeks and had accepted his firm decision to part ways. With shaky fingers, she opened the email and read.
Dear Lily
I hope you are enjoying your travels.
My PA’s cousin’s friend runs tours in New York and they have a special one for fans of “When Harry Met Sally”.
Since it’s your favourite movie, I’ve booked you a place. See the details below for pick up times etc.
The tour will take you to the locations where the movie was filmed. I hope you enjoy it.
Diego.
She sighed at this thoughtfulness; he’d remembered her favourite movie. His email didn’t have declarations of love, but he’d shown her kindness that made her heart sing and weep. Shame that he’d never consider marrying her. Shame that she wasn’t wanting to get married…or was she?
Was Diego worth changing her career and life for? She wanted to believe yes, but she wasn’t sure. Anyway, it didn’t matter. He was dating “suitable” women and unfortunately she wasn’t a candidate.
Pain prickled her heart at the prospect of returning to Melbourne and hearing about him getting engaged. She wanted to move on, start dating, but couldn’t. She was still hung up on him. Perhaps when he was engaged, no longer available, she could convince herself that it was finally time to accept that they wouldn’t have a “happily ever after”. Silly really.
She wanted to fault him but couldn’t. He’d been upfront and considerate from the beginning. The fault was with her, she’d fallen for the wrong guy.
Over the past few weeks she’d missed him, really missed him. She blew out a sad breath thinking about their shared dinners, long walks, playing board games, and of course the fun in the bedroom. Her face reddened remembering how good it had been between them. And if she was honest with herself, she missed the feel of his strong arms around her, the way they connected intimately and how he knew exactly how to pleasure her. She missed that too.
Pushing away all thought of Diego’s strong chest, she replied to his email:
Dear Diego
Thank you for organising the tour for me, it sounds great. I’m looking forward to it.
Lily x
She decided to send an x, a kiss because she couldn’t help herself. One day she’d get over him. One day. But that day was not today.
Lily stood beneath the Arch at Washington Park Square in Greenwich Village. Her pocket travel guide had recommended seeing the marble memorial to George Washington. Arriving twenty minutes before the tour started, Lily spent time looking at the memorial, taking pictures, and reading the insignia detailed on the Arch. It was a perfect start to the tour since the memorial was in the movie.
A fellow traveller on the web page recommended taking pictures of the Empire State Building, using the Arch as a frame. Checking her digital camera, she was delighted to see how good the pictures looked. She reminded herself to leave a thank-you note on the web page at a later stage. Such a great idea.
A quick check on her watch told her the tour was late by one minute. Shouldn’t they be here early to collect the guests?
She scanned the area and didn’t see a mini-bus or tour guide to assist her.
Her heart sank; had the tour been cancelled or changed and she was unaware of it? She checked her emails and re-read Diego’s. The date and time were correct. What was going on?
She dismissed a niggle of concern. The traffic in Manhattan was notoriously chaotic, which could’ve explained the bus’s late arrival.
“Lily,” she heard her voice being called. Her breath caught in her throat quite unable to believe it was Diego walking toward her. In cargo shorts and a polo short, he could’ve been a tourist taking in the sites but she knew better.
What was he doing here? Her heart rate picked up a notch. Then her brain went into overdrive as a multitude of terrible scenarios ripped through her.
She rushed to him. “Is everything okay? My brothers?”
He gave her a reassuring smile. “Everything is fine, you don’t need to worry.”
But she was worried. Placing her hands on her hips, she faced him and pointed an accusing finger at him. “Why are you here?”
Chapter 11
“Lily.” Diego stepped forward and brushed his lips across her cheek.
A waft of his lemony aftershave invaded her nostrils and she took a step back lest she do something like…kiss him. She had to be strong.
“What on earth are you doing here? Coming on the tour with me?” She threw him an icy glare.
“That’s cute.” He touched her nose with his finger. “No. I had to speak to you.
She lifted her mobile phone from her pocket and pressed its face right up to his nose. “There’s a device called a phone. You could’ve called.”
He shook his head while she slowly lowered her arm.
“What I needed to say couldn’t be said over the phone,” he said.
“There’s no bad news?” She glared at him. “I’m a little concerned seeing you here. I never thought I’d see you again in Melbourne, let alone, New York.” Her breathing grew ragged, still unable to believe he was here, to see her.
He took a step closer. “Your brothers are fine. All’s fine.”
“Wait a minute. The tour?”
“A set up so I could meet you.” He took her hand in his.
Shaking her hand free she said, “Shame, I was really looking forward to it.”
“Lily, please.”
He was begging? The Diego she knew in Melbourne would never beg. He was take-charge and do what he wanted. Look at his behaviour at the auction.
“What do you want?” she snapped at him. Her emotions were all over the place not knowing whether she wanted to jump in his arms and kiss him or run away and hide from him.
His shoulders sagged. “Please, Lily, we need to talk about us.”
“There is no us,
” she said in a cool voice. “You made that quite clear when I stupidly told you I loved you.” Her eyes narrowed as the shame of rejection washed over. “And your response was to return to Melbourne as soon as possible. We returned on the last flight that night and I haven’t seen you since.”
She crossed her arms in a protective manner. “I have never been so humiliated. I exposed my heart to you and you ripped it to shreds. There was no consideration of how I felt.” She gulped some air down. “All you cared about was how you felt. Not once” —she snapped her fingers to make a point— “did you consider my feelings.”
His head bowed with guilt. “Lily, I can only apologise for the terrible way I treated you.” He lifted his head and their gazes met. Shock ripped through her as she noted the pain in his dark eyes.
“Lily, please let me talk to you and if you still want me to leave, I will.”
Her voice softened. “Fine. But you have five minutes.”
A tiny smile tugged at his lips. “That sounds familiar.” He looked around. “We’re in a public park. Let’s go somewhere, I know the perfect place for you.”
She gave him a dramatic sigh, to re-emphasise that she didn’t want to hear his platitudes. “Fine, but it better be worth it.”
Half an hour later they walked in Katz’s, deli extraordinaire, on the Lower East Side.
“I didn’t realise that the sandwiches were so good that you’d travel halfway across the world for one.” She scoffed.
Smiling in reply, he led them to an empty table.
Plonking herself in the seat she announced, “I’m quite disappointed that there wasn’t a tour, I was really looking forward—”
“I brought you here, didn’t I?” He waved his arm around the large deli. “Wasn’t a scene filmed here?”
“How dare you know so much. It’s my favourite movie, not yours,” she accused before a playful smile slipped across her lips.