“Can’t,” he gasps. “Can’t hold on much longer this time.”
I’d teased him mercilessly on the rooftop. This time was proving to be even more intense. We’d been skirting around one another for weeks, this was about discovering and possessing, not wooing and teasing.
“Do you have anything?” I ask the question and he pulls open the nightstand drawer. The red display on the clock reads eight o’clock. It’s still early for us to be interrupted. I fish around in the assortment of items at the bottom of the drawer and find what I need. I stand and quickly shove my jeans down my waist, putting on what I had grabbed.
When I am ready, I kneel behind Gregor who has turned on his side. He’s breathing hard as he watches me over his shoulder, and I kiss him, reassuring him that this is what I want.
I press into him and he moans, arching his hips back to me so that it makes it easier. Never in a million years did I think I would be the one to instigate this, but it makes me feel powerful as I take charge. I grab his hips and ease myself inside him. He’s so tight and I’ve never felt a pressure quite like it. I go slow, not wanting to hurt him. Never having done this, I’m not sure of the right pace, until he begins to move back and forth, rocking himself on me and pushing me in deeper.
It takes me a few moments to match the rhythm and motion, but when I finally find a pace that works for both of us, I reach around with my free hand and continue stroking him. He gasps when my fingers close around him, and I feel his erection kick in my hand as his pulse pumps faster and faster. He turns his head into his pillow and I nip the back of his neck, just as he had done to me in the kitchen. I then leave a hot trail of kisses to his earlobe where I suck on his skin, just under his ear.
I can’t keep the pace up much longer as I rock into him, back and forth. The friction is causing the ache from way down low to start spreading through me. I can feel the tingling through my nerves, and the pinching starts in the back of my neck as the throbbing starts to take over.
How can being with one man cause me to lose all control? My brain is firing rapidly, telling me to go faster and faster, but I hold back, not wanting to hurt him. I drop my head to his shoulder and kiss his skin, as small beads of sweat break out all over his skin. I can feel the same on mine as we rock into one another and I’m getting to that place where the franticness is taking over and I need to do something, anything, for the final leap in order to drop over the edge of this bliss.
Sensing what I so desperately need, Gregor clenches around me and my eyes pop open as I finally topple over in an explosion of pure bliss. I thrust my hips one last time, clinging to him and around him as I feel him spill over into my hand in front of me. His cries mingle with my own as we shudder and pant in the aftermath.
After a few moments he rolls over in my arms and draws me to him. He bends his head and I lean up, kissing him softly.
“You chose me,” he murmurs. I think about this for a moment. I had never once anticipated that I would be the one to instigate this.
“Yeah, I did,” I whisper.
“Do you um, do you regret it?” he asks.
“Not at all,” I admit. He hugs me tighter and we lie in each other’s arms for a few more moments before getting up and cleaning up.
Gregor makes his way downstairs to grab his t-shirt and I wash my hands in the bathroom. I don’t hear him come up behind me, until I feel his lips press to my ear.
“We need to loosen up before practice tomorrow,” he murmurs.
“How do you propose we do that?” I ask, chuckling because the rasp of his beard tickles.
“Get dressed, you know I’ve always needed a rooftop view.”
With that, I follow him out of the bathroom and hastily dress. He leads me up to the rooftop of his apartment building, which isn’t as far of a climb as the one back at Julliard since we are already on the top floor. From here we sway in each other’s arms as we take in the sites of the Boston skyline at night. Much like New York, the lights twinkle in a way that reminds me of fairy lights, and also resemble the light that dances in Gregor’s eyes whenever he is in a good mood.
We don’t stay on the rooftop long. Boston in December is chilly, and we make our way back down to the apartment.
He has a message on his phone from his Mom saying she won’t be home tonight because she’d had too many glasses of champagne with the girls and we smile at one another realizing we have the whole apartment to ourselves for the night.
At around midnight and after I had given myself over to Gregor, having taken the place of him from before, we make our way back to the bathroom and fill the large claw foot tub with hot water. I’m not usually one to take a bath, preferring quick efficient showers, but I realize as I doze off to sleep in Gregor’s arms in the warm water, there isn’t anywhere I would rather be than right here and right now.
Chapter Fifteen
The next day we head back to school on the train and I have no hesitation about holding Gregor’s hand in public. We even steal kisses once we are seated on the train and laugh when he tells me jokes about his sisters and brother growing up. I realize for the first time I am the friend I had envied when I spied on him in the dining hall. I am the person he is laughing and joking with and it feels like being wrapped in warmth.
When we get back to school, it is hard to part ways with him, but I want to check in with Katarina and hit the barre to begin working my way back into dancing. I’d done small exercises throughout the week to keep my tone and form, but it was going to be a strenuous couple of weeks catching up and getting back to full form.
I plunk my bag down on my bed and grab my shoes before heading downstairs. I look around the barren walls and fish my cell phone out of my pocket.
“Hey, can you come up here?” I text Katarina.
“Sure, be there in a minute,” is her reply. I unzip my bag and begin unrolling long, pristine posters of my favorite ballet companies, and standing on my bed, I start to tack them up on the walls one by one.
“Hey, you, how’s it going?” I chirp down at her between clenched teeth. I’m holding one of the tacks in my mouth and I don’t want to swallow it.
“Ok, what are you up to?” She climbs up on the bed and smooths her hand over the poster, holding it in place while I tack it up.
“Decorating,” I tell her.
“Well, it’s about time,” she teases.
“So how did the meeting go with your parents?” I glance sideways at her. She bites her lip and pushes the tack in on her side, remaining quiet for a moment.
“Well, I convinced them to come to the Valentine’s Day Virtuoso and see me perform. I know I only have a small role, but I want them to see me acting before they completely make up their minds to shut me out.”
“That’s great!” I exclaim. “It’s definitely a start!”
“Yeah maybe,” she says. “I’m not entirely convinced they are on board, but at least they will come.”
“Well, I think it’s fantastic,” I tell her.
“How’s your dad?” she follows up.
“He’s hanging in there. It’s going to be a long time before he can walk again after they put in the new ankle. They want to make sure his concussion is fully healed before they put him under. He keeps trying to hobble around the house on one foot with a busted arm and he’s driving Mum insane because he won’t let her dote on him.”
“So, business as usual then?” she asks, and I laugh. She pauses and stares at me. “There’s something different, Colin. Something you aren’t telling me. I haven’t heard you laugh this much since last year at the beginning of school.”
I smile and grab another poster and we move a step down the bed. “Oh my God!” she cries. “You and Gregor?” She begins jumping up and down on my bed and squealing with excitement.
“Yeah. Last night at his place,” I mumble as my cheeks redden.
“Tell me everything!” Her enthusiasm is infectious, and I grab her arms as we jump up and down. “Ok, not eve
rything, but oh my gosh, yay!” she shouts. Her ponytail bounces behind her and we flop back down onto the bed.
“It was perfect,” I confess.
“Well duh, silly,” she laughs, and I hit her with a pillow.
“I wasn’t looking for anything Katarina. You know that.”
“Yeah but what’s all that hype about finding someone when you aren’t looking in the first place. Finding happiness in yourself first and all that.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Well it works for gay men too,” she retorts.
“I know. It’s all so new and then there’s the performance to think about and how I’m going to finally tell my family I am seeing someone. It’s just a lot.”
“None of that matters, don’t you get it? You’re happy for once.” She nudges me with her shoulder.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I reply. We catch our breath and then she helps me hang the rest of the posters.
When we’re done, I give her a hug and head to the studio. It’s empty, so I put on some music and begin warm up exercises at the barre, stretching and loosening up, because Gregor had been right. I’m sore in places I didn’t realize I would be.
I begin working through a few relevé exercises, when I hear the door to the studio open and shut. I turn around and see Eric standing near the door on his crutches.
“So, you think everything has fallen into place now huh? You’ve got the lead, you’ve got the guy, life must just be perfect for you?”
The angry glint in his dark hazel eyes has me worried. Whatever he is plotting is going to be deeply unpleasant for me, I can just see it in the shaking of his shoulders because he is so mad.
“Eric,” I greet him, walking over to my water bottle. “Have a good Christmas?” I ask.
I don’t see any way out of this confrontation, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need a minute to collect my thoughts. This is going to be extremely unpleasant.
“You think you’ve won?” There’s a note of hysteria in his voice that has me glance up and look at him from the mirror.
“I wasn’t trying to win anything, Eric. You got the lead, fair and square. Then you got injured. That happens sometimes. We’re dancers, we know this can happen at any point to any one of us.”
I whirl around and face him as he walks over to me.
“If I get out of this cast in time, I will see to it that you don’t get to stay on as lead. I am going to make your life hell, do you hear me? For the next few weeks, I am going to be all over your ass in rehearsals and practice. You will wish you had never dared to take the lead role from me.”
“I didn’t take anything from you Eric and you know it. You were so stuck up, thinking you were better than everyone that it made you cocky. You didn’t stretch properly and take into account that not all the dancing is ballet and you got yourself injured. The only thing I took was the ability to step up and try. I am trying to be the best dancer for this lead and if you can’t handle that, it’s not my problem, so back off!” I shout at him.
I don’t anticipate it, but I definitely feel when his fist cracks into my jaw. My teeth clack together so hard, I bite my inner cheek and gasp, swallowing blood.
“You and Gregor! How long do you think that will last? Not even Seth could withstand my seduction. It won’t be long before I have Gregor and then we’ll see who’s taken whom!” he shouts back.
“You stay away from him!” I snarl. “He’s my boyfriend!”
Eric looks like I smacked him just now. The shock on his face is plain as day before it contorts into something almost manic.
“Game on,” he comments before turning around and walking out the door. I’m so angry I have to pace a few laps around the studio before I can regulate my breathing again. My jaw aches and when next I glance in the mirror, I can see the shiner already starting to form. Great, when Madame sees this she’s liable to give me one on the other cheek so that they match and then tell me to cover them with rouge, so they look intentional. I snort at myself. Hardly, Madame is a lot of bluster, but I have come to realize she has a heart of gold.
I continue through my exercises once I have calmed down and work on stretching myself out. When I am done, I work slowly through the choreography of the dances and correct my form. I don’t want to push myself too hard, and cause myself injury, so after a couple of hours of practice, I call it a night and return to my dorm where I find Gregor waiting with dinner.
Gregor takes one look at my jaw and then storms toward the door.
“Who did it? Eric?” he demands.
“It doesn’t matter,” I insist as I pull open a bag of food. It has been so long since I had Chinese food, the savory smell wafts up to my nostrils as I open a carton of noodles. I fish around in the bag but only come up with chopsticks. “Are there any forks?” I ask, looking up at him.
Gregor is standing over me, seething. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Of course, it matters. He hit you!”
“Well, yeah, but that’s only because I told him you are my boyfriend and if he has a problem with that, he can take a hike.”
Gregor blinks down at me. “You told him I am your boyfriend?”
“Yep. Is there an issue with that?” I ask.
“Not at all. I am just surprised. Apart from Katarina, you haven’t told anyone.”
“Yeah, about that. I’m really sorry, Gregor. It hasn’t been you, it’s just, my family isn’t as open as yours. They have some pretty set views, if you know what I mean.”
He sits down next to me on the bed and grabs a carton of rice. “I get it, it’s ok. In time,” he says as he pops the top of his carton.
I struggle with the chopsticks, never having used them. That is until Gregor takes pity on me and wraps the noodles on the stick for me and holds them out. It feels strange to me, to be fed by someone else, but he grins at me and teases, “for one of the most graceful ballet dancers I have ever met, you eat like a pig.”
I slurp the noodle that was hanging out of my mouth and stuck to my chin. “As one of the most graceful ballet dancers you have ever met, I make it a habit to eat healthy. I don’t typically go for Chinese food. It’s fattening and doesn’t give a lot of energy to the body for dancing.”
“Yeah, Katarina told me about the dancing hippos. Fantasia? Really? Besides, she said she is working on putting some padding on your skinny ass. It’s bony.”
“You weren’t complaining about it last night,” I retort. He gets a heated glint in his eye and sets the carton on my nightstand. It’s going to leave grease prints, but I’ll deal with them later. He takes my carton and sets it next to his, and then tackles me on the bed.
“I’m not complaining,” he murmurs as he lowers his head, so his lips meet mine. “I just enjoy getting you riled up. When you feel something intensely, you get all flustered and then that blush reddens your face up and it’s sexy.” He kisses me as I realize the blush is creeping into my cheeks. First his teasing does exactly that, riles me up. Then my body reacts in a different way and riles itself up. Before I know it, we are in bed again together, the food cartons lying forgotten and all thoughts of Eric gone from our minds. That is, until the next few weeks prove to be just as hellish as Eric promised.
Chapter Sixteen
The week of the performance arrives, and Gregor and I have barely found enough time to see each other except to collapse into bed together at night. Katarina acts as a buffer between us, when the performance threatens to ruin our new relationship, and especially when Eric implants himself between us on as many occasions as he can think of.
I have to take a walk when he breaks us apart for our kissing scene and tells me there is no passion and that I need to do it like this…
I see red when he cups Gregor’s cheeks and begins kissing him. It’s sad to say that I had been looking forward to this particular rehearsal all week, because it would give us the chance to hold one another again in a way that isn’t sleeping.
When he breaks off t
he kiss and steps back, smirking, I seriously consider giving him the shiner he gave me which is now faded to a puce color. I’m not worried about covering it at this point, as all performers will be sent to makeup and that entails a heavily caked on layer of makeup that can distinguish our features from the harsh white stage lighting. It will be well covered. I refuse to look at Eric when he taunts, “You need to do it like that. A lead must show he is the lead by his actions.”
I capture Gregor’s gaze and he looks as pissed off as I feel.
“Perhaps I should show you again,” Eric steps toward Gregor, who holds up his hand.
“We’ve got it. We don’t need your help with this.” Eric steps back and Gregor pulls me toward him. I can’t help the pout that threatens my lip. I have never felt so jealous even though Gregor clearly didn’t appreciate Eric’s little stunt.
Gregor pulls me into a kiss that has the whole room fanning themselves and Mr. Schlewp clearing his throat after a few moments. Eric slinks away like the vermin that he is as I stare wide-eyed and flushed at Gregor. I only snap out of my reverie when I hear Madame proclaim, “Mon Dieu, c'était magnificent!”
I glance around and Katarina giggles as I stagger toward my water bottle when Gregor lets me go.
“Yes, I think the two of you need little coaching in er…” Mr. Schlewp busies himself with his script and indicates everyone should take it from the top.
Angela glares at us as she walks over to whisper to Eric, but jumps when Madame barks, “Angela, back in your place!”
Feeling vindicated I take my place and we run through the script, again and again and again until I am singing the songs in my head at night and my feet move under the sheets to the choreography. Gregor threatens to strap me down to the bed and I roll over facing the wall and mutter, “Promise?”
We don’t sleep much that night.
Dear Valentine: A Gay Romance Story (Opposites Attract Series Book 2) Page 12