by MJ Post
“Of course, Nina, I’d love to. You were always my favorite person to have dinner with back in Mississippi.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere, young man – because I am the most charming of all dinner companions. Very well, it is set. We shall leave in one hour. Go and change into a coat and tie.”
Toby took a moment to check Kacie’s reaction. With her head slightly lowered, screened by the pink visor, he couldn’t see her eyes well. So far as he could see, she was keeping her expression neutral. It had to be bothering her, though.
It was time for dinner break. Kacie immediately attached herself to a conversation with Alia and Louie; there was no chance for him to ask her about it. He decided to address the issue with Eloise instead, and guided her to the far side of the studio, away from any prying cameras on the wall.
“What the fuck?” was his opening gambit.
“I just wanted you to get out in the city some. It’s a friendly gesture.”
“It’s some kind of power play is what it is,” Toby said. “I’m not smart enough to know what kind, but I know one when I see one.”
“Okay, cards on the table,” Eloise said. “I talked it over with Dad last night. Here’s what we came up with: you and I should compete in the finale. That will lead to the most interest. If the personal connection between us is obvious on-camera, more drama.”
“Which personal connection?”
She blinked.
“You took my recipe and tried to beat me with it, and you smacked me in the ass with a spoon. That’s the personal connection you’re talking about, right?”
“I think all of that is what’s best for the show,” Eloise said. “And when the show is over, we’ll get together with my dad, and we’ll make things happen.”
“Aren’t you being a little pushy?” Toby fired at her.
“Not if you agree with me,” said Eloise. “Obviously, I’m expecting to win the show. I mean win on merit, of course. You heard what Nina said just there. I’m the front-runner, so I’m trying to do what’s smart, and set up the best possible finale for myself. That would be against you. We’d look good standing together at the end.”
Toby looked into her bottle-green eyes and was convinced she was being genuine.
“Okay,” he said. “I don’t blame you for trying to plan ahead. But you sprung this shit on me without discussing it first. And no, I don’t agree with you. I’m happy to meet your dad, but I have no plans to move to California. I’m planning to stay in New York a while. As for you being the front-runner, that was Nina’s bullshit for the cameras. I beat you head-to-head before, and I’ll beat you again if I have to. Your food is superb, and you’re good-looking, you know that, and that might be a reason for them to give you the edge if the food is about equal. But…” He was running out of words. “Look, don’t plan anything else for me, all right? I’m not a kid. I plan for myself, okay?”
“Sure,” said Eloise. “Heard.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Glad you think I’m good-looking.”
“It’s not a secret, Eloise. I don’t blame you for using that, either. We all have to use whatever edge we have in the competition. It helps with TV, obviously.”
“It helps a lot of ways,” she said. “But it can be a problem, too. Sometimes people think my looks are the only thing that brought me to the table, and they catch an attitude with me which I don’t need. And other people assume I’m stupid, because,” she flicked her hair at him, “well, because blond. Anyway, thanks for the compliment. Have a nice dinner.”
They didn’t talk any more during the elevator ride up. Toby hoped he had straightened her out; he didn’t need any more fake flirting for the cameras, especially when he was having to struggle so fiercely for the relationship he really wanted.
Dinner for cast and crew that night was Louie’s job. Everyone was still pretty full after lunch, so a delay of one hour was announced before he got started on his veal. He promised to put away a serving for Toby to have as a late-night snack.
“I wouldn’t miss it, but I’ll get fat from lack of exercise,” Toby admitted to his fellow chef. “I never ate so much in my life as the last few days.”
“I’ll make it light as feather. I have my ways, my friend.” He was quoting the chef, Artie, from The Sopranos.
“I know you do.”
Toby went to the men’s dorm to dress for dinner. His dress shirt and slacks had gotten badly creased after more than a week rolled up in his duffel; it took him ten minutes to discover there was an ironing board in the closet. He was in his tank top, ironing, when someone rapped on the wall by the entrance.
“Come in, I’m decent,” he called.
Kacie came in and stared at him. He set down the iron and crossed to her.
“This is too fucked up for me,” she said. “So, what, you guys had a strategy session in the studio?”
Toby looked up at the camera. She didn’t seem to notice, so he pointed at it. Kacie slowly looked as well. Toby then walked toward the bathroom, waiting for her to follow. She picked up the hint. When they were both inside, he closed the bathroom door.
“Eloise is trying to set things up so I’m in the finale with her, and then she beats me, and her dad hires me,” Toby said.
“Sounds good for you,” said Kacie.
“I told her to knock it off, and that I was going to beat her.”
“And you told her she’s good-looking. She’s out there bragging about that.”
“She is good-looking. She uses it. I will, too, if I need to. Herschel told me when he hired me that looks helps. You could use that.”
“Me? How do I use Eloise being good-looking?”
“Not Eloise. You. You’re amazing. You don’t realize how beautiful you are?”
“Don’t bullshit me, country boy.”
“I think you’re better-looking than Eloise. I bet I’m not the only one who thinks that, either.”
Kacie turned away from him. “Nice comeback, Toby. I almost feel like believing you.”
“Well, why wouldn’t you?”
“Because Eloise is out there telling everybody you said she’s good-looking.”
“I meant, like it’s a professional thing.”
“Sure you did. And do you want to fuck her, too? Because that’s what they’ll be saying, now.”
Toby took a step toward her, saw her back shaking as he approached. “Well, it’s really shitty of her to repeat all that. But maybe I hurt her feelings when I didn’t go along with her plan.” He hovered his hands close to Kacie’s shoulders, not sure whether to touch her. Finally, he did, but she stepped away, turned sideways, leaned against the inside bathroom door.
“Toby, I can’t keep up this bullshit with you. I thought you were playing games with me, then I decided you weren’t, and now it looks like you are.”
“Eloise did all that. I didn’t. I’m the same guy. I rejected her plan.”
“You were up there for fifteen minutes. Enough time to go fuck in the corner or something.”
“It takes time to have an argument with someone, you know. I didn’t fuck Eloise. Why would I do that?”
“Because she’s good-looking, and she can help you win.”
He had to say it; he had to admit it. “I’d rather be with you than win.”
She looked at him uncomprehendingly.
“That’s all I have. Kacie, I want to be with you. I can’t make you believe it, but that’s just how it is.”
She stepped toward him, and he started to reach for her, but then realized she was getting clear of the door to open it. “Okay. I’ll think about that.”
“How am I supposed to prove it to you?” Toby asked.
“I don’t think you can,” Kacie said as she opened the door. “Because you know what? All guys have ever done is laugh at me. And so that’s okay, that’s how it is. That’s why I said to you before, you can fuck me and then go laugh at me. You can do that now, if you want. And I’ll tell you why
. Because that’s the worst thing that could possibly happen, and if you do that, then I won’t have to worry about anything anymore. Okay?”
Toby reached over her head and pushed the door shut. “I don’t know why guys would ever have laughed at you. People can be stupid. You deserve better. You deserve a man who will love you with everything he has.”
Kacie looked up into his eyes. “Nice line. What movie did you copy it from?”
“I don’t know. I thought I made it up just there.”
She put her hand on the doorknob. “So what are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to dinner with Nina,” he said. “Then I’ll come back, and tell you how things went, and we’ll still be friends. Because we had an agreement that we would support each other.”
“You told Eloise she’s good-looking.”
“I told you, that was a professional thing. Say the word, Kacie, and I’ll go out there and tell everyone, on camera, that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
She snickered. “Oh, sure. That will work. They’ll all just laugh at me even more.”
“No one will laugh at you.”
“Sure they will.” Toby saw she was crying. “Oh, look, that bitchy Korean girl must’ve yelled at him, and he realized he needed to calm her down, so he’s saying some bullshit. Do you think she really believes it? Ha ha ha.”
Someone shouted through the door. “Madame’s looking for you.”
Kacie wiped her face, opened the door. There was Louie on the other side, holding a half-full wine glass. He had a clean apron on, so obviously hadn’t started dinner yet.
“Hey, sorry, guys,” he said. “Toby, Madame Queen said to come get you for dinner.”
Kacie pushed past him and stormed out of sight.
“Is Eloise talking some shit about me?” Toby asked as he walked to the ironing board for his shirt.
“I don’t know,” Louie said, following. “I wasn’t talking to her. Want me to find out?”
“No, forget about it. But you could ask Alia to talk to Kacie.”
“I can do that,” said Louie. “Shit, you guys are having a hard time, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Toby pulled on the warm shirt.
“Okay, I’ll tell Alia.”
“You guys good?”
“Yeah. We’re perfect. Toby, you know what I’m going to do when the show’s over?”
Toby finished buttoning his shirt and grabbed his tie from his bed. “What?”
“I’m going to convert to Islam,” Louie said.
“What religion are you now?” Toby asked. His tie was done wrong. He started again.
“I’ve been agnostic. But I’m going to convert. I like what Alia’s been telling me about how Muslims live, with discipline. I want to try that stuff.”
∞∞∞
Toby found Salvatore the Uber driver downstairs waiting to give him a ride alone. Madame Queen, in an elegant silver dress and matching feathered cloche hat, traveled in a dark Lincoln town car along with Derrick and a cameraman whose name he didn’t know.
They progressed through slow traffic. Bright city lights gave the sky a deep blue tinge; dizzied by the brightly lit buildings, Toby put one hand on the side of his face to cut down the glare. Yellow cabs blasted horns at each other, and huge crowds of pedestrians smothered the corners and choked the streets.
Salvatore asked if that Korean chick had told him hello.
“Yeah, she told me.”
“I drove her sister home, with that good-looking dog. You met the dog?”
“Yeah. Nice dog. What was their place like?”
“I didn’t go inside.”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“Like, out in Jackson Heights.”
“That doesn’t help,” Toby said.
“Well, you know.”
“I haven’t been there. That’s why I’m asking.”
“Like a medium-sized apartment building. Probably two-, three-bedroom apartments. Just a couple blocks from Roosevelt Avenue and the train.”
Toby recognized their destination from the movies. A skyscraper rose above a pit where people ice-skated in winter, and between them was a statue of some kind of Greek god. Rockefeller Center, Salvatore explained.
A long elevator ride brought Toby, Madame Queen, and the two staffers to Bar 65, at the top of the Rockefeller Center tower. The restaurant was ringed by glass windows and had modern wood and metal décor. It was crowded, but a few tables had been cleared on one side, enabling them to sit without any other patrons being captured. Derrick and the cameraman settled at a table parallel to Toby and Nina at an angle that allowed recording of most anything they said and did. The multicolored lights of the Empire State Building were in full view.
“I don’t really want you guys to shoot me chewing,” Toby said. “Could you turn the camera off some?”
“Sure,” Derrick said. “I’ll go for the important moments only.”
Madame Queen ordered them two craft beers and two seafood appetizers. A different server came and took their entree orders. Both ordered the same salmon dish. “Camera off,” Madame Queen ordered. She turned then to Toby. “I must say – I am surprised that you are here, and not Chef Hamilton. Have you thought about why she sent you along, Toby?”
“I think she wants me to go and work for her dad.”
“Are you certain?”
“I’m never certain what other people are thinking, Nina. That’s Lillian’s skill. I’m trying hard now to figure those things out.”
“Hm. Then you don’t know what I’m thinking, do you?”
“No. I’m just hoping for the best.” She hadn’t corrected his use of her proper name. Perhaps she had decided to be more real during this meal.
Madame Queen sipped her beer. “Yes. Of course you are. Tell me, are you expecting to win?”
“That’s not up to me. That’s up to you.”
“True. But do you feel you deserve victory?”
“Sure do. But maybe you’re worried you can’t pick me to win because it will look like a set-up?”
“Maybe, but then, just that controversy was part of the reason you were added to the show. I take it, then, you no longer fear that I will shame you to hurt Boris?”
Toby shook his head. “I know you’re threatening that, but I think it’s all bluff for the show. I don’t see you as a bad person, Nina. I know Boris screwed up in the marriage just as much as you did. Like I said, I don’t take sides. Boris always had my back, so I have his, but I care about you, too. I wish you two hadn’t broken up.”
“It was traumatic,” she said. “No doubt you have heard Boris’ side. Someday I will tell you mine, but no need tonight.”
Toby was enjoying his beer, hoped he didn’t loosen up too much and say something stupid.
“So,” Nina began, “you are busy with the ladies. That’s not like the Toby Brutus I remember. You certainly have changed.”
“I’m not busy with the ladies,” Toby said. “I’m not a player, Nina. I like Kacie Lee. That’s it.”
“Hmm. I understand. Your parents, how are they?”
“They were well when I left. That’s all I know. I’m pretty much done with them, Nina.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not going to engineering school, and they won’t be proud of me unless I do. So, seriously, fuck that.”
Nina’s expression was unreadable.
“You don’t agree with me?” Toby asked.
“No, I do. Boris and I disagreed on many things, but we always agreed that Roy and Miranda did not appreciate your talents. I assume, then, that you are planning to stay here in New York?”
“I drove the food truck up here, so…” Toby took another pull at his beer. “That reminds me.” He rose. “Better take care of the bathroom before the food comes.”
Leaving the table, he searched the bar and the adjoining Rainbow Room for a pay phone. Finally, he found a phone in the hallway and dialed L
illian’s number.
“Hello, who is this?” she answered on the fourth ring.
“Oh, thank God,” Toby said. “It’s Dark.”
“Hello, handsome,” said Lillian. “I guessed it was you. Are you winning?”
“I’m not supposed to say. I would have called you before, but you know they took my phone. I’m on a payphone now, because I’m out to dinner with Nina. Are you settling in all right? How’s your job?”
“I love my office and most of the people, but they gave me a weird assignment. Fill you in when you get out. How about your budding romance with Kacie Lee?”
“I’m working on it. There’s lots of chemistry, but she’s really stressed out and she doesn’t trust me.”
“Dark! I told you to go slow.”
“Yeah. I didn’t.”
Someone tapped Toby on the shoulder. He turned and saw Derrick.
“Got to go. My director says get off the phone. Light – love you like crazy.”
“Love you, Dark.”
Toby hung up the receiver.
“Kind of against the rules,” said Derrick. “I won’t tell anyone – if you make an etouffée for me and my girlfriend to eat this weekend.”
“I’m the accommodating type,” said Toby. “I would have done that for you anyway.”
∞∞∞
About ten-thirty, Toby joined Nina, Derrick, and the cameraman in the town car for the return trip to the studio. They stopped off in Kitchen One and found it dark and quiet except for a custodial engineer scrubbing Maryann’s cooking station.
The outcome had already come to Madame Queen by text-message: Vegas had beaten Maryann in a battle with edible crickets, his tacos over her stir-fry.
Stuffed, tired, and increasingly drunk from four beers and six shots of bourbon, Toby took the elevator to the dorm. He felt like seeing Kacie and trying to straighten things out, or like just seeing her on any terms whatsoever, but he realized he might not talk smartly with so much beer in him.
When he got to the common-room, Eloise was sitting on the sofa, dressed in sweats, her hair down, with a cup of tea and a notebook. He walked around the sofas toward the dorms.