by MJ Post
Kacie didn’t know where all this was coming from. “Why do I need an agent?”
“Usually they do the tough part of this type of negotiation, between Lou and the talent I mean, so we can all stay cordial,” Herschel explained. “Here. This is Terry Bigelow’s card. He’s Nina Lestrade’s agent.” Herschel put a card on top of the folder and slid them over to Kacie; she quickly lifted her drink to make space, and, since she was holding it, gulped the remaining contents without even feeling it. The casting director continued, “Terry represents a lot of our TV personalities.”
There it was — now the vodka was sending some fireworks up into her sinuses. Kacie coughed and put her hand on her sternum. “Are we doing this backwards? I don’t know what we’re talking about.”
“Whoops,” said Morton. “Oooo-kay. We’re talking about Hammer Chef Teen. Teenagers competing in their own preferred cuisine styles to become the best in the world in their age group.”
Kacie didn’t see what that had to do with her. Did Morton not understand how old she was? “I’m not a teenager. I’ve been to culinary school. I can’t compete on a show like that.”
“No,” said Herschel, “but you can host it.”
Kacie’s heart skipped a beat. “Host… it?”
“Co-host, actually,” said Morton. “We’ll put someone seasoned on the show with you, make it a team. And Shelley will direct. That works for you?”
“Yeah, but…”
“We think your quick wit and youthful look will appeal to kids,’ said Morton.
Kacie had never thought any such thing possible. “You’re sure? It sounds like a great opportunity.”
“Here’s our read. Teenagers, kids in general, aspire to be the next age step up. Elementary school kids want to be like middle school kids, middle school kids want to be like high school kids, and high school kids want to be twenty-somethings. You’re the next step up from high school.”
“But I wasn’t popular in high school. I made food and sold it at games and stuff, so everyone knew who I was, but it was mostly a joke. I was the school freak.”
“Many celebrities start out as the school freak,” said Herschel. “You become a role model for young people when you show the strength to stick with something that works for you when others don’t have the imagination or the guts. That’s why we let people speak their minds at this network.”
“People achieve excellence when they feel they have some ownership of what they are doing,” said Morton. “A team is strong when everyone respectfully speaks up with their best. Ultimately the buck stops with me at TKN, and when a decision has to be made at the end, I make it, but first I listen to questions and alternative views. I want to be the leader here because of how I perform in my role. I want to inspire you because I let you inspire me. Does that make sense?”
“That’s his speech,” said Herschel. “Did you like it?”
“Yeah, I did. Yeah, it makes sense. That’s what I’d want to do, too.” Kacie felt like she was floating. She wasn’t sure if she should have more liquor or she should have had less.
“So, what questions do you have?”
“Uh… This does pay, right?”
Morton said, “Your salary won’t be in the millions, but if you’re successful at building a fan base with the platform we provide, you’ll get endorsements, personal appearances, magazine covers, cookbooks, and of course, guest appearances on other shows. Get yourself a business manager to work with your agent. I expect you’ll earn a tidy income with proper management.”
“Do I have to give up my restaurant?”
“Of course not, but you’ll have to divide your time. I’m sure any of our Hammer Chefs can advise you about that, or Madame Queen. If I were you I’d go upscale eventually, but that’s up to you.”
There had been a time, even just weeks ago, when career would have been the only thing Kacie thought about. That had changed, and there was something else she had to ask also. But how could she ask it? Well, there was no way to delay. “Do you have anything for Toby? Chef Brutus, do you…?”
“We’re working with Chef Winfrey on a possible project,” said Morton. “He might appear there on occasion. But this meeting is about you. It’s your talent and potential we want to develop today. You are exceptional.”
“Yeah, but so is he.”
Herschel said, “Give him the information for your agent and leave it there. He needs a professional advocate.”
“But…”
“Sweetie, you can help your man better by helping yourself first. Toby would tell you to look out for yourself, wouldn’t he?”
“Of course, but if he was here, he’d be asking about me. It’s the right thing to do.”
“Okay, okay,” said Morton. “We’ll offer him two guest shots on your show, and one on Hammer Chef Challenge. Now let’s move on. Get set up with an agent and we’ll meet again midweek with Shelley and the writing staff. By then we should have a handle on who might be your cohost.”
Kacie felt as if her soul was draining out of her body. Was this what success felt like? Or were they somehow using her? Maybe if she cooked, it would stabilize her. “You want to eat?” she asked the two men. “I could make us something.”
“It’s too early,” said the executive. “We’re having lunch by Hammer Chef Thai about 1:00, if you want to sit in. Come back around 12:30, conference room.”
“Yeah, yeah. Sounds great.”
Herschel followed her out the door. “Listen, Kacie,” he said. “We need to keep this deal quiet. No press releases, no reporters, no sharing it with blabbermouths. Nothing in social media. If we get the wrong kind of attention, or some of our concepts go into development elsewhere, it could be a serious obstacle. Okay?”
“Okay.”
∞∞∞
Out in the waiting room by the secretaries, Kacie felt her knees buckling and sagged into a chair. She fumbled her phone out of her clutch, dropped it on the floor. Typed the lock code wrong three times. Finally got into the messaging app. Whom to message first?
Kacie: Dad, they offered me my own show.
He didn’t answer. He might be in a meeting or commuting.
Kacie: Don’t tell anyone. That could mess it up.
Who was next?
Kacie: Toby, the news is so goo OMG.
Kacie: good
Toby: I cant wait to hear. Stuck in line at this office. Not even sure if theyll help me.
How would he feel knowing she was getting her own show and he was not? Would jealousy come between them?
But her career was her future.
But Toby was her man. He was her future, too. No job was better than Toby.
But he’d be happy for her. Of course he would.
Kacie: Its so good promise you wont be jealous.
Toby: No you deserve the world.
Kacie: I got my own show. Hammer Chef Teen.
Delay
Toby: Hot damn.
Kacie: I asked them to do something for you.
Long delay.
Toby: You didn’t have to do that.
Long delay. Then a ding.
Dad: Call your mother.
∞∞∞
Things were a whirl after that. Kacie had a hard time persuading her mother not to spread the news all the way to the relatives in Seoul. She had an even harder time getting Jinwoo to understand not to tell his mother and not to count her out of the future of the restaurant. She couldn’t get Terry Bigelow on the phone, so she called Madame Queen, who placed her own call and got the agent to contact her. Jinwoo went along to the meeting with the agent to advocate for Kacie and behaved very well.
Chapter Thirty-Six
The Split
Toby and Lillian did the best they could to clean up the apartment in the hour or so after both got in from the day’s work. She had had little luck advancing her unusual work assignments; he had rambled the fish markets trying to set up a deal for supplying his truck, only to find the best daily seafood
already spoken for.
Lillian’s roommate, Shaina Jung, was out in Port Washington, Long Island with their mutual friend, Rose-of-Texas Green, volunteering at North Shore Animal League. She had left them, as a parting gift, a pile of unfolded laundry on the sofa. “No leftovers for her,” Lillian said.
A rap came at the apartment door at 6:45 PM. Toby welcomed Boris Winfrey with a hug and took his grocery bags. They got to work together in the tiny kitchen while Lillian opened and poured an imported German Riesling and updated all her and Toby’s social media using the new iPads they had bought with some of his TV pay. Kacie called around 7:30 and said she was just closing Koryo Burger and then had to go home and would join them at about 10 PM.
Dinner was on the table at 8 PM. The three sat down to eat already tipsy.
“I hear you’ve been doing some match-making,” Boris said to Lillian. “Got any prospects for a fat aging chef from the Deep South?”
“Aw, you don’t need my help, you old charmer,” Lillian returned.
“Well, then, let’s get to it,” Boris said. “My son here has an offer on the table from me to respond to. And I have another offer on the table I’m waiting to hear back about, this one for a restaurant location in Astoria. I was thinking of calling it Winfrey’s, but Oprah might have something to say about that.”
Toby’s heart jumped. Astoria was the site of most of the best restaurants in Queens, and it was only a few neighborhoods over from Jackson Heights, where Kacie lived. If he worked there, and he got an apartment there, they could see each other every night, or even move in together, if she agreed.
“Boris Winfrey’s Taste of Mississippi? Or is that too difficult to design a logo for?”
“Boris Winfrey’s Taste of the South?” Lillian offered. “No, Boris Winfrey is too hard to say. And Boris sounds Russian. Just Taste of the South?”
They continued to bounce titles back and forth. Toby hadn’t been eager to accept his mentor’s offer, but the location under consideration was making the idea look better to him.
“What’s the partnership split?” he asked.
“Fifty-fifty after expenses,” said Boris. “The work is seventy-thirty, though. Mostly on you.”
“If it’s like that, then why not use my business name? Crawdad King?”
“New Yorkers don’t know about crawdads,” Lillian said. “I told lots of people about you in the last month. They always asked, ‘What is he king of again?’”
“This is a shrimp town,” Boris said. “Listen, if we’re using your name, does that mean you’re in?”
“If I can live close to Kacie, then I’m in. I’ll do it. She can’t move. She’s with the network now and she has her family and restaurant here in Queens.”
Boris slammed his fork onto the table, came out of his seat to hug Toby’s head against his chest. “My son, my son,” he said. Toby realized he was crying. “It’ll be good. It’ll be so good. We’ll get up a menu together. We’ll go see the space tomorrow.”
“I’ve got it,” said Lillian.
“What’s that?” Toby asked.
“The restaurant name. Boris and Toby’s.”
∞∞∞
That night, after Kacie had eaten and showered, she and Toby lay down together in the sleeping bag on the living room floor that passed as their love nest. Toby told her what had happened.
“It’s a great opportunity for us,” he explained. “We can move in together and have some privacy. I really think it could work for the two of us.”
“No,” Kacie said.
“You don’t want to live with me?” Toby asked. His chest hurt. “I don’t think we’re going too fast. I think it could work.” Why wasn’t she willing? He studied her shining dark eyes.
“Sure,” Kacie said. “It could work, but not just the two of us. It has to be three of us.”
Toby exhaled heavily. Okay, at least she wasn’t against it. “I don’t think Lillian wants to…”
“No, not Lillian. You, me, and Whitey.”
Toby moved in to nip at her delectable neck. “You.” Kiss. “Me.” Kiss. “And Whitey.” He moved to her lips for a serious kiss and then began to unbutton her pajama top. “With that team, we can take on the world.”
THE END
Epilogue
Toby Brutus successfully opened and operated Boris and Toby’s Southern Kitchen in Astoria, Queens. Two years later, he served Professors Miranda and Roy Brutus at chef’s table. The same night, he proposed to Kacie in their presence.
Kacie Lee co-starred in two seasons of Hammer Chef Teen along with Hammer Chef German, Helga Hammer. She was then promoted to Hammer Chef Korean. She remained a co-owner and operator of Koryo Burger.
Boris Winfrey retired from the TV and restaurant business at the age of sixty and moved to Antigua with his new wife, Connecticut blueblood Lola Johnson.
Jinwoo Kong franchised Koryo Burger, adding locations in LaGuardia Airport and on Northern Boulevard in Bayside. He eventually got a girlfriend.
Alia Kamara became a successful cookbook author and went on to represent the United States in the Bocuse d’Or.
Louie Alpharetto became a Muslim. He proposed to Alia Kamara, but she did not accept him.
Lillian Brutus … met somebody. Several somebodies, actually. One of them was right for her.
Eloise Alexandra Hamilton introduced her brother, Marcus Aurelius Hamilton, to Lillian Brutus, and kept looking for love herself.
Robert “Buster” Wayne did a stage for Julius Caesar Hamilton in San Diego and was hired as executive chef for Electricity Garden II in Reno, Nevada. He married J.C. Hamilton’s niece, Marguerite, who liked to party and to pop edible balloons in intimate places.
Maryann Chen reached the USA Today bestseller list for her revealing book about sexual politics in the culinary world. She won all the lawsuits against her. Fuck those guys anyway.
Roberto “Vegas” Camacho and Yanel had three more children. Soon after, he moved his family to Toronto where he became the highest-paid personal chef in Ontario.
Nina Lestrade, “Madame Queen,” replaced Alois “Lou” Morton as CEO of The Kitchen Network when a heart condition compelled him to retire.
After their marriage, Kacie and Toby often held each other on the sofa and laughed together.
Other Books by This Author
City Meets Country New Adult Series
Drive Me Crazy
High on You
Sealed With a Kiss
Ace in the Hole
Contemporary Novella
Chances Are
Afterword by MJ
I suck at cooking. My spouse won’t allow me to cook any of the meals we share. #ActiveGagReflex
I’ve never worked in TV. I’d be good at it, if only I looked good. #IDontLookGood
So, why did I write a book about TV chefs?
I’ve been watching TV chefs for many years, courtesy of the various cable networks that specialize in them. I’ve watched Chopped, MasterChef, Cutthroat Kitchen, Top Chef, Food Network Star, Iron Chef America, Cutthroat Kitchen, and many more. I’ve watched the hell out of them, and learned what I could, and made the shrewdest guesses I could at the drama that lies behind the scenes. I’ll never be on any of those shows (Worst Cooks in America, maybe?), but I will always thrill in the ups and downs of the competitors and wish I could be part of (meaning, uh, nearby) that sort of drama.
The novelist’s mantra maybe should be — want a book that doesn’t exist? Then write it yourself.
So I have.
If you know the chef business or the TV business, and you want to suggest ways to improve the accuracy of Chef Showdown, please drop me a note at my email, [email protected]. In fact, I welcome any friendly emails from readers who aren’t trying to sell me products and services. (I can’t afford any of those!!) Let me know what you think. Hell, add me on my social media platforms, too!
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