It took me a moment to understand what she’d meant. As she closed the gate behind her and started down the steps, I called out.
“Do you mean email it?”
“That’s the word.”
“I don’t have your email address.”
“Oh, do I need one?”
She laughed as she tottered off. I didn’t think Nora had a computer; she’d only recently joined the masses with a mobile phone. And even then, I was constantly reminding her to turn it on.
I closed down the file with my writing and started another—a letter to Casey. I’d given up emailing; they seemed to constantly bounce back. At first I started at a blank page, thinking of what to write. How to put my life in way she would understand? I was beyond begging for her forgiveness and if I’d learnt one thing over the past few months, it was that I hadn’t done anything wrong. I just wanted her to understand.
I wrote the first words that came into my head, and before I knew it, an hour had passed and I’d written ten pages, most of which was babble.
I had no way of printing the letter off and maybe I would never send it. It said nothing more than I’d already tried to say in multiple emails and previous letters but in my mind I was communicating with her.
“Jayne, guess what?” I heard.
“Nora, why don’t you telephone me instead of running up and down that lane?”
She chuckled. “It gets me out of the shop. Now do you want this news or not?”
“Go on.”
“The Turners want to talk to you.”
“Who are the Turners?”
“The owners of this,” she said as she waved her hand at the cottage.
“Oh, about what?”
“I don’t know. Well, I think I do, but call them.”
She thrust a piece of a paper towards me. Written in pencil was a telephone number.
I held the piece of paper in my hand for what seemed like an age before picking up my mobile.
“I don’t know if I need to think about this.”
“You’re only asking questions, nothing more. You can’t make any decisions without knowing the asking price.”
I dialled. The dial tone suggested I was calling abroad and I cringed at the thought of, one, if there was a time difference, and two, the cost.
“Hello?”
“Oh, Mrs. Turner? My names Jayne, I’m staying at the cottage in Bude. Nora gave me your telephone number. I wondered if you had time to chat?”
“Oh, yes. Thanks for calling, Jayne. She said you might be interested in purchasing the cottage.”
“I might be. I don’t want to waste your time if the cottage is out of my price range, and I haven’t spoken to my family about this yet.”
“I understand. I’ll be honest with you, my husband has a terminal illness. We live most of the time in Portugal, he loved his golf, and to be honest, I’d rather settle things before…”
She couldn’t finish her sentence. I could hear how choked her words had made her and I swallowed back the lump that had formed in my throat.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my son recently, so I know how hard it must be for you.”
“Nora said. I hope you don’t feel she was gossiping. We fell in love with that cottage when we first visited. I know it will sound strange but we want someone to live in it, someone who will love it as much as we did. Bob has been ill for so long and it’s a shame that we haven’t gotten to visit in such a long a time. We haven’t put it with an agent yet so, if you’re interested, how about making an offer?”
“I have no idea what it’s worth, Mrs. Turner, to be honest. I don’t have a great deal of money, and I don’t want to insult you with a low offer.”
I had no idea how to go about buying a house. Michael had dealt with the purchase of the one in Kent and he already owned the apartment in London we’d first lived in.
“Have a think. Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but the value isn’t important right now. I just want to settle everything.”
I said that I’d call again in a few days once I’d looked at my finances.
“Well?”
“She asked me to make an offer. I have no idea what to do.”
“Is this somewhere you can live? You’ll need to think about your family.”
And therein lay the problem. I would be five hours away from Benjamin, from my mum and Carla, Kerry. Maybe if I could find a job, I’d be able to rent a little place in Kent and commute. But then I wasn’t sure how practical that would be, and I didn’t want to purchase the cottage and have it standing empty for weeks on end.
Nora left and I sat in the garden looking out over the calm sea. The sunlight bounced off the water making it hard to see the surfers. I could hear the tinkle of laughter from children making sandcastles and paddling. I could feel the sun on my shoulders and the slightly salty breeze ruffle my hair. It was my dream cottage, the cottage I’d drawn as a child. It was the one place I’d felt the most relaxed and seemed to run to although I’d only visited three times. But could I live there?
I took a walk along the beach. I thought of Ben. He would have loved the area. I pictured him sitting on a surfboard and waiting for the next wave to hit. I sat facing the sea and in my mind I saw him. He was laughing, enjoying his life.
I remembered Stefan and I sitting in the exact same spot, our backs to the cliff and taking selfies. I hadn’t looked at those pictures for a long time. I took my phone from my pocket and scrolled through my contacts. I thought for a while, before I sent a text.
Hi, I’m not sure what to say other than I’m sorry. J xx
My finger hovered over the send button. It would be a text out of the blue and I wondered how Stefan would feel when he saw it. I closed my eyes against the tears and pressed send. My hands shook as I turned off the phone and placed it back in my pocket. It was time to make some changes, time to start a new life. I could never go back to the old me; I couldn’t return to Kent, I had to start afresh.
I practically jogged back to the cottage. There was a bubbling of excitement in my stomach. I grabbed my laptop and went to my online bank. Could I afford the cottage and have some left over for the repairs? Could I live after I’d spent the money? I sat with a pad and pen and worked out my finances. I then googled cottages for sale in the area. Hardly any came up, which didn’t surprise me but it didn’t help in determining a fair value. All I could do was offer what I could afford and see what happened.
I called my mum first.
“Hi, Mum. How are you?”
“Hello, darling. I wanted to talk to you today, how strange that you should call first. I’ve had a good day, actually. Mabel and Eric took me shopping and we are off to scrabble at the community hall in a minute. I’ve decided to join some of the local clubs.”
“That sounds like a great idea. I have an idea to run past you. The cottage I’m in is up for sale and I have an opportunity to put in an offer. I don’t know what to do.”
“Are you happy there?”
“Yes. I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I want to stay in the village. There are just too many horrible memories, and I can’t walk past my house without it affecting me. But I don’t want to be so far away from you either.”
“Jayne, the one thing I do not want you to do is hang around because of me. If you have this opportunity, then go for it. Imagine if you didn’t, imagine if you saddled yourself with a house here that you don’t love and I die. You’re stuck.”
“Oh, don’t say that…”
“It’s true. I’m not going to be around forever. How much is it?”
“Well, that’s the thing…I don’t know. They asked me to put in an offer. The owner, Mrs. Turner, said her husband was dying and she wanted to settle everything before he did. I’d feel I was cheating her out of a fair value if I don’t do some research but there’s nothing for sale to compare it with.”
“I’m going to say something you might think is mean. You don’t know these people. She’s giving you an opportunity t
o put in an offer. If she wanted a fair price, she’d be going to an estate agent who’ll have the same trouble as you in coming up with a value. Offer what you can afford. And if it’s not enough, I have savings.”
“I don’t want your money, Mum.”
“You’ll be getting it anyway, less what the tax man wants, so why not have it now.”
“What do you think Carla would say?”
“Carla is your best friend. If she’s not happy for you, then I’ll kick her backside. Ring them, then call me back and let me know what they say.”
“I want to speak to Kerry first. I won’t be able to see my grandson so frequently and that’s going to be hard.”
“Think about all those summers where he can grow up on a beach. What child wouldn’t want that?”
I hadn’t thought about that. As we said our goodbyes I was already planning on summer holidays and Christmas around the fire. I took a walk around the cottage, making my mind up. It had two bedrooms; enough space for me and only a five-hour drive back to Kent. It wasn’t the end of the world.
The ping of my phone alerting me to a text had my heart stop. Could that be Stefan had replied? I walked back the kitchen and picked it up holding my breath as I did. I scrolled my finger across the screen and breathed out sharply. It wasn’t him. In fact, it was a pizza company offering me a discount on my next purchase. I felt a sense of disappointment that it wasn’t Stefan replying then chastised myself. I wasn’t going down that road again. I wasn't going to hang onto the phone or the laptop hoping for a response, and I had no right to expect one.
I decided to call Kerry next. She was thrilled and urged me to do the same as mum had, to call and make an offer. She assured me she had a support network around her that she could call on if necessary. Francis had been to see her a couple of times, she had my mum, her own, and Carla. She’d miss me, of course, but looked forward to spending time at the cottage. And like mum had said, she was thrilled that Benjamin would have somewhere to grow and play in the summer months.
Calling Carla was the hardest. I felt like I was letting her down. She’d cared for me, paid for my hospital treatment, although I’d offered to pay her back, she’d refused. I felt like I had taken her generosity and was walking away.
Nerves got the better of me, I’d think for another hour or so before I decided on what to do.
Mrs. Turner called me before I had a chance to get back to her.
“Jayne, I know we said we’d leave it a few days but I’ve been talking to Nora. She explained your situation, all of it, and I know asking for an offer might be awkward. I’ve talked to my husband, and we would be more than happy to accept two hundred thousand pounds. We know the cottage needs some work, we don’t have a mortgage and to be honest, no one to leave the money to. If that’s agreeable with you, and I don’t expect an answer today, we can get cracking with the sale.”
“Wow, I think that’s way under value. Are you sure about that?”
Two hundred thousand pounds wouldn’t buy a starter home in Kent, nor would it buy a two-bedroomed cottage on a beach in one of the most popular places in Cornwall. I’d expect the cottage to be double that, even in its current condition. The view and location was worth another hundred thousand on it’s own.
“It may be, but I want to be able to enjoy some time with Bob and not worry.”
“Then yes, I’d love to buy the cottage.”
Was I being impulsive? Maybe, but I could afford the two hundred thousand pounds from my divorce settlement and that would leave some to renovate and live on for a while. I wouldn’t have enough forever but I’d certainly not have to worry for a couple of years.
“That’s great news. How about I get our solicitor to contact you?”
“Thank you, yes, that would be good.”
We finished our call and I sat stunned that I had just bought a house. Not only a house but one at a fraction of its value. I grabbed my pad and pen and made some lists. New heating system, new windows, a lick of paint, upgrade the bathroom and new flooring. I would need to speak to the solicitor about the furniture. I imagined Mrs. Turner wouldn’t be worrying about collecting it, which meant I would either have to dispose of it or keep it and sell my own.
Another thought ran through my mind. I called Carla.
“Hey you, I was just thinking of you,” she said after she’d answered.
“I have some news, I’m not sure how you’ll take it, though.”
“Oh, I don’t think I like the sound of that.”
“I might have just invested in property.”
“You found somewhere? Oh, that’s great! In the village?”
I paused. “No, here in Cornwall. The cottage I’m in is up for sale and at a ridiculously low price.”
“Really?” She didn’t seem overly upset.
“Yeah. I just spoke to the owner. They want two hundred thousand and it’s right on the beach. I showed you the pictures from last time, didn’t I?”
“You did, that’s seriously cheap. Are you sure you heard them right?”
“Yes, her solicitor is contacting me. I can afford to buy this outright, have some money for repairs and still some left over to live on.”
“So you won’t be looking back here then?”
I was dreading that part of the conversation.
“No. Other than you, mum, Kerry and Benjamin, there’s nothing there for me. I feel terrible in leaving you, especially after what you’ve done for me, but I love it here. And when is an opportunity to buy a beach front cottage at that price ever going to come along again?”
“So, you’re not coming back?” The tone of her voice had changed; I detected sadness.
“Of course I am, in a couple of days. Until the sale is sorted, I guess.”
“Oh, that’s good then. At least we can have a proper goodbye.”
“It’s not goodbye, though, it’s only five hours away. Think of summer holidays on the patio with a Pimm’s and watching the surfers,” I said.
“Mmm, carry on, I’m warming to the idea.”
“Sinking our toes into the warm sand and walking along the beach. There are some amazing restaurants locally and as I said, surfers to ogle.”
Carla laughed. “Your mum told me earlier. I’m thrilled for you, Jayne, I really am. I’m going to miss you like mad, of course, and no doubt we’ll be putting some miles on the car but go for it.”
“You bloody tease! I was terrified in telling you.”
“Why?”
“Because of everything you’ve done. I feel like I’m just walking away.”
“Do you know something? That’s about the best thing you could have said. I’ve loved having you here but if you’re able to walk away, start again on your own, then my work is done. And I’ll be glad to get rid of that stinking dog.”
We both laughed, harder when I explained Dini had perked up his ears as if he’d heard her comment.
“Seriously, Jayne, for that price, you can’t not do it. That will double in value overnight.”
“I’ll be back in a couple of days. Will you help me with the solicitors?”
“Of course I will. Now, drink that Pimm’s and say hello to those dishy surfers. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
We said goodbye and I danced around the kitchen. I felt totally stupid and I didn’t care. I was about to buy my own home, all by myself.
I packed up the cottage with a slight hangover after spending the previous evening drinking wine with the boys. I’d made them dinner, the first proper meal they’d eaten in ages, they’d said, although I suspected that was a lie. I knew they ate at Life’s A Beach once the diners had all left, but it was nice to have their company. I told them about buying the cottage and that I hoped to get back within a couple of weeks. I was hoping I could pay rent until the sale went through.
Dini and I made the journey home, and whether it was subconscious or not, I felt the tension return the closer I got to the M25 motorway. I passed my in-laws and notice
d Michael’s car on the driveway. I thought back to that letter I’d typed and decided I would print it off and leave it with Francis to give to Casey.
I was welcomed with a big hug from Carla, who immediately wanted to show me her research. She’d been googling Bude and was excited that I was, indeed, getting a bargain with my cottage. A one bedroomed apartment with a sea view started at more than I was paying.
That evening, I babysat; Kerry had a couple of friends who wanted to take her out for a meal. It was to be the first time she’d left Benjamin and the first time she’d been out since Ben’s death. Carla was over the moon to play Great Aunty, although not so keen on the title she’d been given.
“I’m not old enough to be an Aunty, let alone a Great one,” she complained.
Benjamin was a delight; he slept most of the evening, waking only for a cuddle, to give a smile and a feed. Kerry called constantly until I reminded her that I had fairly successfully brought up two children of my own.
“You know, I’ve been looking at you. You look so different. Two weeks in the sun has done you wonders,” Carla said.
“I feel good. Not great, but good. I don’t know what it is about the place, I love it there. And I’m sure the Victorians had it right when they said the sea air was healing.”
“Have you heard from Casey?”
“Not a word. I’ve got a letter to print off and I’ll give it to Francis, but other than that, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve called, I’ve emailed, and whether this is right or wrong, but I don’t know for how much longer I can do that. It kills me every time she ignores me.”
“I’m stunned by her, to be honest. I know she was angry, she had no right to be, but this is way beyond reasonable.”
We fell silent for a while, sipping on our wine. I didn’t want to dwell on her.
“Have you heard from him?” I asked, not wanting to use his name.
“Not for a while. I can email him, if you want me to. You…”
She paused, staring into her wine glass.
“I what? Come on, I need to hear it.”
“You broke his heart. I think he needs to cut all ties so he can move on.”
A Virtual Affair Page 26