by L. J. Wilson
“I think we all knew at once. Evie was the first to say that Jake, in her mind, looked like his older brothers. Clearly, he was… is Sebastian’s son. Then we all looked at the girl. She was like silk fallen from heaven, wispy but feisty. One thing was for certain, she was half Evie. Your father,” Ezra said, his blue eyes damp, “he was the first to pick her up. She quieted for him right away—like she knew his voice. We, um… we traded a most civilized look, which I assure you was an odd thing for Sebastian and myself. The girl, she opened her eyes—wider than you’d think a newborn might. The color was so like mine and… well, it seemed a certainty.”
From around the table the Clairmonts’ looked at Ezra, looking into Honor’s eyes—lagoon blue, Evie had always said.
Troy cleared his throat. “Wait. I don’t get how…”
“Yeah… I’m a little shaky on that myself,” Jake said.
“I, um… I’m not sure how to explain the science. But I assure you, it’s possible. While you’re most definitely Sebastian’s son,” he said to Jake, “the little girl was mine.”
Troy looked between Ezra and Jake. “If he’s… How would… Does that still make Honor your twin?” he said to his brother.
Jake’s jaw hung and Alec could see his world shift a bit. “Yeah,” Jake finally said, his confident tone emerging. “She is. Always… Same way she’s your sister.”
“I was amazed when your father handed the baby to me,” Ezra said, his eyes glassy. “It showed tremendous courage, forgiveness, and a sizable heart—perhaps because he understood how much he’d taken from me. He said, ‘I believe she belongs to you.’”
In that moment, I don’t know what your parents thought would happen next. But I knew what my father had threatened. Of course, it would require my cooperation. It would require me to tell him she was my daughter.” He looked away from the boys and out the cabin door where a full moon eavesdropped on Good Hope’s secret. “I held her for a time. She was exquisite—the most perfect thing I’d ever seen. If I’m being honest, I thought of bringing her home—to here. Despite any judgments you’ve made, we’re good people. It may not be a life you understand, but I trust in its purpose. Yet, I had to make the best choice for her. I thought it was what any good father would do. I chose to give my daughter three… and eventually four,” he said, glancing at Troy, “brothers. I chose to give her one life, one family. To have brought her here… it would have made her a pawn in my father’s war against Evie and Sebastian. It was more than I was prepared to take on—in this community and more importantly my own life.”
“Just like that,” Alec said. He’d tilted his chair back to keep his breath and mind steady—he let it fall forward. His brothers and Jess looked at him. “You walked away? I’m not sure I buy it. This place is all about rules and what you believe is right.”
“You are indeed your father’s son,” Ezra said. “The abruptness is uncanny.” A stoic glance, maybe a glare, wove between them. “Much time has passed. I tell the story now with more reflection than I would have years ago. That night, I asked your father if I could speak to Evie alone. He agreed, which I also don’t believe was easy for him. We talked. Evie, she tried to suggest an alternative. She asked me to visit, implied that we could work things out in some modern, non-traditional way—that no one in Good Hope need know. While I was tempted, I couldn’t fathom it. Perhaps I’m just a weak man because I could only think how hard such a thing would be.”
Throats cleared and Alec guessed they were all thinking the same thing—weakness did not describe Ezra’s actions.
“After a time, I handed her the baby. Evie had such huge tears in her eyes. And I think, that day, it was me who broke her heart. She could barely speak, saying how sorry she was that she couldn’t properly honor our marriage.”
I kissed your sister on the head and said, ‘But you did, Evie. The fact that she exists is honor enough.’” Tension filled sighs rumbled from around the table. “I was quite pleased to learn Honor was her name, as it would be the only legacy from me she would have.”
“And Duncan, he never found out?” Alec asked.
“No. While Hannah knows, she was amicable about keeping the fact a secret, even from her husband. She told him both children belonged to Sebastian, which I’m sure was reported back to Duncan. For many reasons, my decision was the right one.”
“I’m sure that’s been difficult,” Jess said, offering audible sympathy.
“To a point. It’s one of the many up sides of relying on faith. Without my cooperation, my father wouldn’t have prevailed. But he also would not have let it go. Until your parents perished, he would have made their lives miserable. Only in the past year has that fact changed at all.”
“And why’s that?” Aaron asked.
“More recently, Duncan’s mind has begun to fail—confusion, irrational thoughts. I admit, your timing is a bit eerie. After not speaking of Sebastian for… well, years, my father talked about him upon returning from his last mission trip.”
“Talked about him?” Alec said. “In what way?”
“Nothing discernable. Thoughts that make no sense. He’d mutter over and over, ‘the mission remains sequestered…’ I’m sure it’s just yesteryear babble, having kept Sebastian sequestered in this very cabin. I’ve been praying for guidance about him. Father is lucid most of the time. Still…” Ezra said thoughtfully. “Not that it matters to you, but that’s where I was today—in Lancaster meeting with those who carry out similar mission work, trying to decide how best to handle… his condition.”
As the conversation drew to a close, Ezra asked, “It’s, um… it’s purely a selfish thought, but I’ve always wondered… Is she a good person, your sister?”
It seemed the question belonged more to Jake than anyone else at the table. “Better than a Clairmont in some ways,” he said, his eyes wet.
“I’ll second that,” Aaron said. “I, uh… I’ve had a rougher road than my brothers. It’s a long story—almost as long as this one. If it wasn’t for Honor…. Well, know that she saw me through all of it.”
Ezra’s glassy gaze reflected the table full of Clairmonts that he faced. “That’s good to hear. Undoubtedly, you know your sister well. I’ll continue to pray for her—and now guidance for the four of you in deciding what knowledge best serves her happiness.”
Before dawn, Ezra left the cabin saying it would be a brief sermon that Sunday morning. Jess had gone with him, asking for an escort to the edge of the Good Hope compound. They’d parked there, and she wanted to go in search of coffee. Alec guessed it was more about giving the four of them space. After talking it through once more, Troy and Aaron fell asleep on the bed. Alec felt that twisting in his gut—the one that lingered on months after a precarious military tour. He wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon.
“All I keep thinking…” Jake pointed to the seat where Ezra had sat. “Is how I’d feel right now if it was me. If that guy had said… If we’d sat around the table listening to bombshell after bombshell and it turned out that he was…”
“He’s not. Ezra Kane is not your father.” Alec’s tone was so identical to Sebastian’s it sent chills up his own spine. He wanted Jake to feel the same, the inbred confidence of being Sebastian Clairmont’s son. “Don’t doubt it. You know it’s the truth.”
Jake nodded.
“Of course that does leave us with a hell of a question.”
Jake’s eyes met firmly with Alec’s. “Who the fuck is going to tell Honor?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “I, uh… I don’t know. I can’t think about that right now.”
“Alec, I made an A in basic biology, but I’m still not sure I understand how…”
“I think I can clarify.” Alec scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. It was a SEAL story wholly removed from the usual variety. “A frogman buddy—Ty. He’s African-American, his girlfriend was Asian. He leaves for a nine-month tour. I guess it was a big good-bye because they end up pregnant. Eventually, she tells him
they’re expecting twins. Ty’s ecstatic about the whole thing. But when he flies home to meet his kids… Well, it turned out the girlfriend had some explaining to do. Two boys. One looked just like Ty, the other as white as a sack of flour—redheaded and a mirror image of their Irish-American neighbor. Ty guessed he wasn’t gone more than a day when she went across the street for a little comfort. Anyway, technically, that’s how the, um… window of opportunity works.” Alec pointed at the chair where Ezra had sat. “Given the right circumstance and timing, it can happen—twins by two different fathers.”
“I guess I never thought about anything like that. It’s, um… it’s a lot to get your head around.”
“And it explains a good chunk of why this place and Mom’s past was such a secret.” Alec glanced around the cabin, feeling like the walls were closing in. He looked toward the bathroom. “I need a shower or to take a run…”
“Go running in this place and somebody will probably take you out with a shotgun.” Jake looked wide-eyed at Alec, as if he’d dodged his own bullet. “This Ezra… the Reverend… He seems like a decent person—but as for the rest of them, especially his old man…”
Yeah, he was bad news when I was six. I’d say old Ezra made the right choice—but I can also understand how Mom, maybe even Pop, wouldn’t want to take that secret to their grave.”
“I suppose,” Jake said. “Do you think they always planned on telling us… or at least Honor, and then just…”
“Ran out of time?” Alec rose, needing to separate himself from the emotion beating at his brain. At the edge of the bathroom, he pounded a fist into the doorframe. “Great. A fucking tub. What good is a fucking tub?” He turned toward Jake. “Jess should be back any minute. I’ll just get some air.”
“Go. I’ll be fine. I’ll get the two sleeping beauties up in a few minutes.” Jake motioned his square chin—Sebastian’s chin—at his snoring brothers. “I still can’t believe Aaron is here, after everything that went down.”
Alec slapped his brother on the shoulders as he passed by. “Let it be part of today’s reminder about timely events, bro. Good or bad, we never know what’s around the corner.”
In the pre-dawn light, Alec made his way to the parking area beyond Good Hope’s gates. The barrier was only thigh-high, yet he still had to hurdle it—a homage to the reclusiveness of the community. Jess was pulling up, getting out of the SUV they’d rented. “Hey,” she said on Alec’s approach. “You look as if your world’s been rocked a little.”
He was often irked by her ability to zero in on what he was thinking. Worse, how he was feeling. At the moment, he couldn’t be more grateful. “Sorry I was such a dick back in La Carta—that fight in my hotel room.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “The day I can’t handle a few rounds with Alec Clairmont… well, I hope I never lose my edge.” She tilted her head. “Is that how we’re going to avoid what’s happened here, by focusing on an argument from three-thousand miles ago?”
Alec shook his head. “No. I guess even you and I couldn’t have a fight big enough to push this aside. It, um… It’s just…” The wedge in his throat cut off his words.
“It’s a lot, Alec. Don’t gloss over it. It’s okay to feel something—and, right now, that just may be a lot of confusion… frustration. Honor will always be a card-carrying member of the Tribe of Five. But the story Ezra Kane told, it can’t not affect a person, even you.”
Alec slung his neck back, looking heavenward. Stars dimmed one by one, the family past he knew flickering in their wake. He blinked—the stars were blurry. Jess’s arms moved around him. Alec couldn’t combat it. He didn’t want to. He just held on. It’d been years since he’d gripped onto anything but self-sustaining mantras and a hard-ass attitude. A moment later, his mouth covered hers, kissing his roommate—the woman who lived across the hall. They edged backward until they were against the side of the SUV. No one spoke, Jess reaching for the buckle on his belt. Alec glanced down. A skirt… Naturally she’d be wearing a fucking skirt. “Jess…” he said.
“Don’t think,” she said, her hands moving over the stubble on his face. “Just for right now, go with whatever helps.”
It wasn’t like borrowing a clean towel because he was out—but Jess had done that before too, often giving Alec what he needed to get by. At times it was stuff, but mostly it was space, room to be himself—which didn’t tend to make Alec the life of the party. And right now, space was the last thing he wanted.
Alec glanced at the SUV.
Too clumsy.
The cabin.
Too fucking full of Clairmonts.
Jess didn’t appear deterred by logistics, shoving his pants down to get her hand around his rock-hard cock. Alec kissed her again. He skimmed her bare thigh, his fingers hooking around her underwear. A thong? Underneath the skirt, which had bothered him enough, she was wearing a thong. Sure, he’d seen them in the wash. He didn’t let it register—like maybe she’d been doing laundry for a friend. He spun her around, Jess’s hands landing against the hood of the vehicle. Alec pressed his body into hers. “You need to say it if you don’t want…”
“I know how to say no, Alec. It hasn’t crossed my mind.”
He glanced toward sleepy Good Hope, the blue-gray dawn, the distance giving them privacy. Alec considered the fast, hard fuck that normally described how he went about this. The urge was there, but so were other things. Things that made this different. With his dick throbbing against Jess’s exposed backside, Alec did something unlikely and passive. He reached to her long hair and gently pushed a wave of kinky curls over one shoulder. He kissed her neck, pausing to breathe her in. Alec’s fingers edged between the steel of the vehicle and Jess’s taut stomach muscles. Dismissing the barely there front of the thong, Alec made subtle contact with a swollen nub. Jess’s body had been rigid, almost disagreeing with her lack of objection. But the second Alec touched her, he felt Jess meld into the moment. She widened her stance, inviting more. Her breath quickened. “Jesus, Alec…” she whispered.
She turned her head to a deeper angle and Alec kissed her neck harder. His other hand slipped under her shirt, past a lacy bra. It made his breath shudder. Fuck. He’d noticed the bras too. His dual touch—half rough, half delicate—was all it took and Jess’s entire body shuddered against his. He slid a finger inside her, nudging her legs farther apart with his. It summoned an achy gasp from her—a sound Alec was damn sure he’d never heard Jess make. Pleasure traveled from her to him as Alec repositioned his hands, gripping her firmly at the small of her back. His dick was all but begging, and he drove into her, letting urge take over.
Honest to God, it wasn’t his best showing. He was too anxious to get to a feeling that would make recent days not matter—too anxious for Jess to be on the other end of that explosion. Her hands made dewy humid imprints on the SUV’s hood, counterbalancing against Alec’s wicked thrusts. As he came, Alec held onto her, which was not something he did in this moment. He let himself think only of her as deep, shaky breaths pulled in and out of Jess. Normally, he couldn’t exit a bed or get to his pants fast enough. After a moment she disengaged with the steely hood, sliding around in his arms. Alec focused on the SUV—an inhuman object. He didn’t want to be the colder, harder thing Jess encountered in that instance and he kissed her. He kept kissing her, standing in their half-naked places until the sun exposed them and Jess said something about coffee getting cold.
With everything buttoned and zipped, skirt and thong adjusted, Jess retrieved the tray of coffee from the SUV. The everyday action neutralized the moment. The two of them didn’t speak, walking side by side through the middle of Good Hope. Alec didn’t offer to carry the coffee, and he got what he deserved for being a chivalrous-less shit. Her phone, balanced on top of the cups, vibrated. Julian’s name lit up. It seemed extra bright. The phone shook, shimmying across the plastic lids. Alec snatched the coffee tray away, forcing Jess to grab her cell. He shrugged. “How the fuck else are you sup
posed to answer it?”
“I was thinking I wouldn’t right now.”
She didn’t.
As they passed by the Blyth house, Alec was reminded of the rules and reasons for fucking women with whom he shared no personal attachment.
“So are you going to answer me?” Jess said. “I want to know what you think.”
Alec stopped midstride. Great. Just fucking great. Jess, of all people, was going to demand a detailed emotional assessment of what had just happened. “I don’t know,” he snapped. “I’m going to need more than a minute to figure it out. I can’t say fucking you against a rented SUV was part of my op strategy when coming to Good Hope.”
She narrowed her eyes and took a step toward him, which made Alec take a step back—slightly concerned there was a tray of hot coffee between them. “Alec Clairmont, you fucking, ungrateful prick. Open your ears! That’s not what I asked you. I wanted to know if you’d given any thought to the other things Ezra Kane said.”
He blinked at her. Clearly, he’d been the one fixated on their parking lot rendezvous. “Sorry,” he said. “It was just… Well, I didn’t come out here…” He pointed toward the distance and SUV. “You didn’t find that at all… unexpected?”
“I thought that was how you liked it—impersonal. I took a page from the Alec Clairmont handbook of instinct, need, and survival. Fucking you seemed like an optimal choice since I didn’t bring a knife to bite on, weapon to unload, or whiskey flask to share.” An angry growl rose from her throat. “Do you want to keep going?”
There wasn’t much spit in his mouth, but Alec forced down a swallow. “What do you mean, the other things that Ezra said?”