by Mima
“I was out of there within a half hour! I am a souldance expert! I couldn’t get in the baths fast enough. I feel so-so-consumed.” Freezha shuddered, apparently distraught by the souldance.
KarRa moved forward to hug her and then pulled up, hesitating at their nudity, but Freezha was so unhappy that she carried the motion through and hugged her friend tightly, dismissing the odd feeling of her friend's breasts against hers.
Freezha clasped her hands under her chin, “Oh KarRa! He found matches, I know he did! Wouldn't it be amazing if we were both mated this week?” Freezha seemed to deflate a little. “I was so hoping to find a soulmate. It would have been perfectly romantic. But none of us have one. I mean, you do, but you've decided to waste it by not fucking him. This will be my seventh time. I know that others have gone longer, but it just seems so sad that they can't find four men for me. My stomach aches thinking of being sent home. I can't imagine going back to being a wife for some whiny, fearful Guild man. The crowded living, the smell of the City.” She grimaced. “I want to stay,” she whispered fiercely.
“Perhaps they found enough matches this time.”
“We'll have to wait until tomorrow. I hate waiting. I won't sleep. To think that I could finally be having sex within a week!” Flinging herself dramatically backwards with a splash, she had to stop and steady herself, choking on the water’s backlash.
Sighing, she asked, “Is it fabulous KarRa?”
It was a question Freezha often asked, and KarRa replied, as she always did, “For some.”
“I'll curl my fingers for you KarRa, that this soulmate thing will work out for you.”
Even KarRa knew the reference to the childish gesture of protection. She shrugged. “I'm in no rush Freezha.” Maybe Merk and I will come together again if it takes awhile, KarRa thought. Then she looked down into the frothing water. I see now why women hesitate to take night pleasure here. If I grow attached to Merk, it will be awkward with my mate.
It was evening now, with the women coming into the lounge at different times, in different emotional states. KarRa’s news about claiming an Element was cheered, but the topic on everyone’s minds was men. The women talked late into the night, the talk turning to men they'd had, Freezha full of questions and the women laughing over embarrassing moments, comparing prowess, endurance, and appearance.
KarRa found she had less experience than all of them. First of all, the only safe sex to be had was in the expensive, guarded smoothskin houses, and also, she just hadn't felt the itch that Freezha described.
When the women were saying “What was the best you've ever had?” KarRa had to pause to keep from blurting “Merk” and said instead that her first paid boy, whom Rylan chose for her, was best.
Shocked silence met her statement. “Rylan chose him for you?!” Freezha said in trademark goggle-eyed face. Her mouth flapped a few times. “But did he join in?”
“No!”
“Well, did he watch?”
“Freezha! For a virgin you have knowledge of experienced pleasures.”
Freezha nodded seriously, “I know. I've studied hard.” Freezha shared her opinion of the potential of a variety of objects as tools for self-pleasure, much to the women’s hilarity. Eventually it seemed their sexual secrets, at least those they were willing to share, had dwindled out. As women stood and stretched to move to their rooms, Freezha jumped up in a flurry, tripping over pillows. “Well! That was fabulous! I'm going to go bring myself some pleasure. I think I have a candle in my room.” She swept out in a whirl of hair.
KarRa murmured, “By the Winds, I hope her mate lives up to her dreams.”
KarRa was lazing in bed in the morning from the late night when Rylan slipped into the room. Beaming she sat up and greeted him brightly. “Hey! I had a big day yesterday-”
“I know.”
She took in his tension as he stood rigidly at the door. It seemed that every time she saw him now he seemed bigger, more muscular, stronger. “You heard I had a souldance?”
“Who was he?”
KarRa blinked. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed she said cautiously, “My spiritmage was named Merk. He was one of the mages at your first Change.”
Rylan stayed where he was, fists clenched so tightly the muscles in his arms bunched.
“What's wrong? You’re angry.”
“Was Merk the man you fucked yesterday?”
Now KarRa stood, angling so she had more room around her. Leaning back in a slouch against the wall, she crossed both her feet and her arms. “I don't really see how that's your business. You haven't asked who I'm fucking since you first dropped me off at a smoothskin house.”
“That was a gift. To erase the memory of the rape.” His voice was very quiet, and very angry.
“I know that.” Sharing our pleasure in the Dark had already erased it. That boy against my body was a pale shadow of what we shared.
“Grif told me you've had bed partners from your third night here. I don't bother you about them.” They stared stonily at each other for several moments.
He exploded into motion, swiping a clay cup off the table to smash it against the wall in a spray of water. “You did something yesterday that mattered, something intimate with a Trux! The day you were tested for proof of a soulmate! Are you trying to make me insane?” Fists planted wide as he leaned over the table toward her, he glowered.
She glowered back. “I was told bedplay was allowed for unmated women. I was not aware that the day of my testing was some sort of off limits day for fucking. I took some much needed and rare pleasure. I am not trying to make you insane.” She refused to explain they hadn’t actually come together. Despite the lack of that final intimacy, she felt close to Merk.
Pushing off from the table with a growl he paced back and forth, his strides so long and angry it took only two paces to cross the small room as he turned back and forth, not crossing the barrier of the table between them.
She tried to hold on to her patience. “Why are you…”
“I haven't slept with anyone! My bed partners Grif blabbed about were Clan brothers, warm bodies I could relax with enough to sleep.” He bit this off as he continued to pace.
KarRa considered his defensiveness with a thoughtful frown. “Rylan, if you've been avoiding the skinlickers because of me, you don't need to. You've always taken your night pleasure as you needed it. Why would it be different here?”
He stumbled to a stop, nose only a handspan from the wall. His fists clenched and unclenched. Slowly he turned his head toward her and she caught the green swirl of strong emotion flicking in his eyes.
“That you could even ask that question shows me you do not understand this place, me, or us. You share my soul. I have told you that I love you, that we are going to be together from now on.”
KarRa shot to her feet, his anger now echoing in her. “The day I understand you will be the day I grow wings myself! You chuckface!”
After another tense moment he sagged, leaning his head against the wall. “I have been so wrong to you for so long I don't know how to undo it.” This came out in a whisper.
KarRa didn't know what that meant either, but her anger was still tight in her shoulders. “Don't you dare try to make me feel guilty or sorry for you. You just take your little feathered butt out of here and don't come back until you remember you're a wildling and not high Guild.”
He shook his head as he turned away. “No, KarRa. We're not wildlings anymore. It's you who needs to remember. I'm a Trux warrior, and you are to be a Trux woman soon.” Pushing under the curtain he left.
KarRa was left angry, confused, and wary. She tried to sort through what just happened. She had the feeling she had missed something important. Was he jealous?! What would he do when she took a mate?
Feeling afraid and jittery, she shoved her table to the wall with a crash and moved into her Guild knifedances, stretching her body and practicing her balance. She threw herself into the motions, blocking out everythi
ng but the harmony of her body, pushing the limits of her ability to hold positions and shift her weight without faltering.
Only when someone cleared their throat at her curtain in an overly loud way that denoted the fact they'd done so before did she stop, her legs quivering with fatigue, sweat matting her hair to her head.
“Enter!” she said calmly, proud of herself.
Freezha cleared her throat. “We couldn't help but overhear the raised voices this morning. I brought you some fruit.” She lifted a tray.
KarRa fell into a chair and began to devour it.
Freezha moved the table back out and sat down herself. “What have you been doing in here?”
“Knifedance,” KarRa said briefly. “I usually do it in the evening. I missed last night.”
Freezha nodded, looking at KarRa with concern. “You had a fight with Rylan?”
KarRa snorted. “That wasn't a fight. He'd have left here dragging his bleeding proud Owl self through the dirt if it was.”
Freezha seemed taken aback. “Oh.” Clearing her throat again, Freezha said in a determinedly different, cheerful voice, “The announcements came in this morning—both of us are going to mate choice!”
KarRa stopped herself from gnawing on the sweet round red fruit and looked at her. “We are? Matched? Me?”
“Yes!” Freezha clapped like a child. “And three other women too. I for one want to be gorgeous! Today there's no lessons. Cro's in the lounge waiting for you, though. She wants to help with the fixing.” Freezha gestured gracefully at herself. “The women who are meeting their choices usually pamper themselves. We’ll choose a robe to wear tomorrow, design a hairstyle, discuss body paint or jewelry. We experiment with face paints and do our nails. Some women smooth their skin. It's going to be fun. Lessons are suspended until after the matebond. We'll finally have time to teach you element dice.” It was Freezha's favorite Beast game and she was always trying to get the others to play it.
KarRa frowned, still feeling snarly. “I have a robe to wear, I have no hair to design, and paint would look ridiculous on me. I have no nails, will not smooth my body, and would be happy to play element dice with you.”
After a few blinks Freezha inclined her head. “Sounds like a plan.”
It was after KarRa had dried off from her bath and joined the women in the lounge that Cro told the women she'd asked Fler to join them later. Only Freezha had heard of her.
“Fler is mated to a Mountaincat, and she's the best of those who work women's hair.” Freezha jumped up and ran around the table with squeals of joy to hug Cro, who laughed in her high odd way as they toppled over backwards in Freezha's exuberance.
Sitting up to see KarRa's dour face Freezha said, “None of that KarRa! You want to feel as confident as you can when you face your choices for the first time. One of them will be your future, and you want to dazzle them!”
KarRa rolled her eyes.
Freezha nodded so fast her hair flew. “I'm going to pick the one with the best body! It would be easier if they were Council mages, so I can see more of them.”
“Freezha, what a completely shallow—Actually, I've been giving this some thought. I can prove them for you. I mean, after you choose the ones who interest you the most. Instincts are important. Listen to them. But of those, I can prove them. It's not an absolute answer, but it's another piece of information.”
Cro nodded. “That's wonderful KarRa.”
Freezha leaned forward, “But, what about your bloody nose? Will it weaken you?”
KarRa shook her head. “Not really.” Actually proving four men, possibly more, would tire her considerably, but it wouldn't last.
“Let's go look at robes,” Freezha sang happily.
KarRa had not been Freezha's friend these last few weeks without getting towed into the treasure room on several occasions. She'd been interested in it, from an ex-professional view, and awed. But it was also overwhelming to her and she shook her head. “I'll stay here.”
“But you need to choose something to wear!”
“I'll wear the robe I have already Freezha. It's lovely.”
“That old thing! Come…”
“No. I'm fine.”
Throwing up her hands, Freezha pulled the others from the table. “See you later,” Freezha laughed.
Cro looked at KarRa, wringing her hands. “KarRa, it’s time I showed you something. I was leaving it ’til later because it’s very … intense, but with your quick match, you need to know it sooner than I had thought.”
KarRa followed Cro the short way to their usual table in the library. Cro had a thin, worn book covered in red leather.
“This is going to be shocking. You know that all of the Truxet can change into a Beastspirit. These pictures show that transformation.”
She opened the book. It was a series of drawings showing the stages of a Bear warrior's change to Beast. He was nude, a rugged, muscular man with dark hair. The most fascinating changes were the middle ones. The book labeled it “battleform.” KarRa thought of it as pissed-off Rylan. KarRa calmly looked at the changes—increased height, the claws, the extra teeth.
“I’ve seen this many times. If he lost it to this point, he was no good at watching my back.”
Cro was shocked at KarRa’s nonchalance. “You’ve seen Rylan like this?”
“Sure. Lots. It took a certain amount of practice to understand his speech in this form.”
Cro just blinked.
The next picture showed the man contorted in a rictus of clenched, unnatural muscles, and a blinding golden glow surrounding him. “Brief moment of unknowing,” read the words. Then, a Bear, standing as tall as the man had been while on all fours.
KarRa turned to Cro. “Is the human still aware? Can he remember?”
“The human is sometimes aware in the battleform, but can remember images more easily. Some Beasts can be directed with magespeak. They fight as Beasts based on their human loyalties, and travel with messages when given direction before their Change. A Changed Beast is really much safer for you than a wild animal. But the human is more of a shadow in the Beast mind, as the Beast is a shadow in the human mind.”
KarRa thoughtfully pulled at her lip. “If a Beast, I mean Trux, is aroused, why would he start to turn aggressive?”
Cro tipped her head. “He often doesn't. Rarely,” she looked away, and KarRa detected a rosiness even to her dark skin, “at times of particularly high passion, they'll turn to their battleform. But it's not at all usual. Many women never see their mates in battleform their whole lives outside of the mating ceremony.”
“Battleform? At the mating ceremony?” KarRa asked.
“It is the first time, and probably the only time, the Beast acknowledges the human mate physically. The Beast needs to dominate the mate. That's one of the functions of the mages holding containment around the ceremony, and why the Clan Alpha is there. To control and reassure the Beast as it binds to the woman.”
“But this doesn't happen every time a Beast fucks out in the Seven Cities,” KarRa asked, confused.
“Oh, no. Usually, it is just a Trux mating with human lust. There is no question of the warrior losing control of the Beast inside. KarRa, the Beast inside a Trux knows when a mate match is found. And that Beastspirit wants nothing more than to claim her. If a Trux finds a mate out in the human world, it's actually very dangerous because the Beast rises, needing to claim the woman before anyone else does.”
Cro looked at KarRa doubtfully. “Your history with Rylan really is extraordinary.”
KarRa shrugged.
Cro sighed and continued. “A Beast is really very simple. See the woman, smell the woman, taste the woman, fuck her, take her back to Vladaya and get her claimed by the Clan. And the Trux is always in danger of transforming into battleform until the bond is witnessed by the Clan Alpha.
“Even with the innate trust a woman feels upon recognizing her mate, she would be—should be—terrified of a Trux in battleform. If a Trux susp
ects he has found a potential mate when he's outside of Vladaya, he pops back here as quick as the earth will carry him before his Beast does serious harm trying to claim the woman without mage protection. The matebond ceremony is all about gentling the Beast, and keeping the woman safe as he rises to claim her in front of his Alpha.”
KarRa considered Merk's form as he thrust against her yesterday. The teeth, the scratches on her hips. The sense of closeness, the ease with which she agreed to bedplay. She was fairly sure she could guess who one of her choices was going to be.
* * * *
Fler was a wonder. KarRa had not thought anyone could outtalk Freezha or out-motion Cro, but Fler surely did. Loud and boisterous, she fluttered around KarRa's hair, praising its color and thickness, despairing how it had been cut. KarRa jumped and lifted her arms to block the suddenly appearing shears. Laughing and swatting her down, the woman began to comb and fluff and cut.
In half an hour she held up a mirror and KarRa stared. Her uneven ragged hair was sleek. Curving around her ears and laying smoothly down onto her nape, it framed her face and drew her eyes to her wide mouth. It still had a raggedness to it, but it was purposeful, and when KarRa moved her head sharply, her hair moved in a smooth, loose swing that settled nicely into place. She liked it, even though she still intended to grow her hair long from now on.
I am lovely, she thought with surprise. I am rough, and have no magic, but I am also smart, and tough. I got Rylan here. I have made friends. I can stand before strange warriors like this and keep my chin high.
The women continued primping throughout the day; KarRa found it odd but relaxing to listen to their banter. None of the women looked outrageously colorful like the women who painted themselves for the taverns in the Dark. The colors were subtle, the shading dramatic.