by J. L. Weil
I trailed behind Zander as he steered us away from the cluster of empty tables and toward a spot under a tree. If it wasn’t for the fifties music playing softly in the background, the silence between us would have been unbearable.
Things were already strange between us. He was my fiancé and I knew next to nothing about him, other than he was a reaper and had an extraordinarily hot brother. None of the little things like what his favorite color was or favorite food. I didn’t even know his middle name.
I dug into my cone like a girl who starved herself. Apparently, I had worked up more of an appetite than I thought. And man was it delicious. He dipped his spoon into a cup of strawberry shortcake concoction, and I wondered if he was the kind of guy who was okay with sharing food.
Glancing up, I found Zander watching me with a hooded smile. “What?”
“You have a little something just here,” he said, using his index finger to indicate a spot below his lip.
I rubbed at my mouth. “Better?”
“Not quite.” Smiling, he extended his arm, brushing the pad of his thumb at the corner of my lip. “Sprinkle.”
Heat crept across my face. “Thanks.” It was a different sensation having Zander touch me. There wasn’t the instant zap that happened with Zane. This was much, much more subdued, but enough to tell me he wasn’t human.
“We’ve never really gotten a chance to talk,” he said between bites. “I know things have been crazy since you got here, and I imagine you must feel like your entire life has been shaken up in a cement mixer.”
“That’s one way of putting it,” I said, taking a lick off the side of my cone, although my appetite seemed to have vanished, thanks to my stomach being full of knots.
His back was pressed up against the tree trunk. “I don’t want things to be weird between us or for there to be any misconceptions.”
I could respect that and gave him props for being the kind of guy who was up-front. It was a quality I admired. “I don’t want that either.”
“Things are complicated for us. We never had a say in our future. Both of us are expected to do our duty. I’m not going to sugarcoat it and say it doesn’t suck that you have a bond with Zane. I want you to know that I understand what is between you and him.”
My lashes lowered, fanning over the tops of my cheeks. “At least one of us does, because it confuses the hell out of me.”
He gave a short laugh. “I can see how it would. Even without the link between your souls, Zane is not an easy person to understand.”
“Good, so it’s not just me.”
“No,” he said, smiling. “My brother is…complicated.”
I frowned. “That’s putting it nicely.”
He chuckled. “I guess it is. You’re much easier to talk to when you don’t have that wall up.”
My tongue darted over the rim of the cone, licking a dribble of ice cream before it ran down my hand. “It’s difficult to trust people. Lately, I never know who is going to stab me in the back. Literally.”
“Understandable, considering who you are. But I hope, over time, I will earn your trust. I can be an ally if you let me. And a friend.”
“I would like that.” Seeing as we would be spending the rest of our lives together, it seemed wise that Zander and I be friends at the very least. It would make the years to come easier on both of us, and maybe…we would find more. However unlikely it seemed at this moment.
“Good. Then I would like to make a promise to you, and I hope you will do the same.”
I was listening. I owed him that much.
“I won’t lie to you, and I ask you to do the same. Even if you think it might hurt me or make me angry, I’d rather us be open and honest.”
“I can do that.”
“There is a lot of pressure on both of us, pressure neither of us asked for. And before things go any further, I need you to know—”
“Oh God,” I interrupted. “You’re in love with someone else?” My mind was jumping all over the place.
He chuckled. “No, Piper. There is no one in my life right now. What I was going to say is that I won’t hold you to our engagement.”
Air stalled in my lungs. “Huh? I don’t think I understand.”
He twirled his spoon around in the cup. “I’ve been thinking about it, about us, about our future. And I can’t be the guy that you’re stuck with. The guy you’re forced to marry out of duty. I don’t think either of us wants to be the runner-up spouse.”
“Zander, I—”
“No lies, remember?” he interrupted.
I nodded, closing my mouth.
“Look, I’m not saying we call it all off and cause an outright panic or worse. I’m just saying you take a little time and think about what you want. And no matter what your choice is, I will support you and stand by your side. Friends?”
“Friends.” He was impossible to dislike. I sat up a little straighter. “Do you honestly think there is a way to stop the uprising without us marrying?”
“I don’t know. But I am willing to take the risk. For you,” he said.
Feeling slightly off kilter, I asked, “Why would you do that?”
“Believe it or not, Piper, you have more people that care for you than you think.”
“And your father is okay with this?”
Zander grinned. “Hell no.”
The bubble of hope inside me that had been escalating deflated.
“Don’t look so glum. He might be Death, but you’re the White Raven. Whether you believe in yourself or not, your word is the ultimate ruling. And when do children ever do as their parents say?”
Zander had given me a lot to think about, although it was something I’d already been considering. Another way. “You’re a good guy. Too good.”
“That proves how much we don’t know each other.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him there was only room for one bad boy in the family, and he didn’t qualify.
***
I was a girl no more. From the evening my mother had died, my destiny had been sealed. Bound by blood and oath to protect what I was—a banshee—and rule. Come hell or high water, I was going to do my best to make Rose and my mother proud.
Even with the knowledge of what I was and the power still tingling on my fingertips, a part of me wanted to end my time on Raven Hallow. The girl inside me yearning for home, the familiar scents of cinnamon and apples, the worn couch in our small family room, and knowing Parker was downstairs if I needed a shoulder to cry on.
Yet, for the first time, both the woman and the banshee craved to be stronger. The taste of power was still warm in my blood and trembled to fully embrace what was mine by birth and right.
Still buzzing, I needed to feel free, not cooped up in the manor. So I steered my Jeep toward the ocean in search of seclusion, and myself.
The water, the quiet, and the gentle rocking of the waves reminded me of the last time I had a truly happy day with my mother.
She’d looked beautiful, I remembered, the firelight casting a glow over her skin. The whole family had been there, including Parker, sitting around the fire on our roof deck, roasting marshmallows and listening to my parents take turns telling tales of their youth—how they met and such.
I never imagined in less than a month she would be gone from my life forever. Killed by the very thing she’d run from—had hidden from me my entire life.
A prickle skirted down my spine as I dug my toes into the sand, resting my chin on my knees, and a great need to see her one last time overwhelmed me. The water lapped over my feet, and I stared into the deep blue ocean.
My mother smiled at me.
I blinked.
Her shinning emerald eyes shone over the calm waters. Those eyes became her face, and then she was walking out of the sea-foam straight toward me.
“Mom?” I asked, hesitantly. I knew to not always trust my eyes. I’d had a similar vision once, which turned out to be a Red Hawk hell-bent on killing me.
The hawk had met an unfortunate demise, and I’d taken her soul.
I slowly pushed myself to my feet, careful not to make any sudden movements. “Is it really you?” I choked, disbelief clouding my eyes. I expected any second for her pretty face to morph into someone else’s.
She nodded, her face glowing in the moonlight.
“How is this possible?”
“Your powers and your great need to see me brought my spirit.” The sound of her sweet voice was just as I remembered.
Tears wanted to come, blurring my vision of her as she wavered in front of me. I willed them away, needing to see her clearly. Blonde hair fell freely down her back, her eyes filled with love. And the power I never knew she possessed surrounded her. I felt it.
“Why did you never tell me what I was?” It was the one question plaguing my mind, but I never thought I would get the chance to ask.
The lines she always used to complain about around her mouth softened. “Oh, my love, my sweet girl. I wanted nothing more than to keep you from this world, and it was naïve of me to think you could escape destiny. Or that I could run from mine.”
Motherly instinct to protect her daughter, I understood, but I had always thought our relationship had been more than that. She had been my best friend. “Why didn’t you fight them, fight to stay with me?” I didn’t know the exact details of what happened the night she’d been murdered, only what the police had told my father, but I realize now, it wasn’t the truth.
“If I could have, I would have given up more than my life, more than my powers. So much more to save you, Piper.”
“I miss you so much.”
I felt her lips on my cheek, her warmth as she enfolded me in her arms, and her scent, light floral, flirted in the air. For just a moment, I closed my eyes and was a child again.
My chest ached. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
In the mists of the ocean she glowed, silver-edged, veins white like mine. “Remember you are not alone. I am ever with you, in your blood, in your heart, in your power. You will know what to do when the time comes. Trust your heart.”
My heart? What was she saying? “I want to be brave and strong like you and Rose. I will be, for TJ. I will protect him. I swear it. But I’m scared. I don’t want to fail.”
“We all have fears and regrets. Use that fear to harvest your powers. You’re not just a banshee. You’re the White Raven.”
“Everyone keeps telling me that, but I don’t know what being a banshee means.”
“I renounced my heritage, refused what was mine by right. I can only say how sorry I am for hiding what you are. I wanted to give you a happy life, free from death and the darkness for as long as possible. I wanted to give you the light, my daughter. And when the time came, I would have let you choose.” She held out her palm, the veins shining through the mist.
I joined my hand with hers, feeling a quick jolt of energy. “I don’t think I would have chosen this.”
She smiled. “And what of Zane?”
My eyes widened. “You know about Zane and me?”
“I can see what is in your heart. Your soul calls to his. Together you’re more powerful. You’ll protect each other. Trust what you are. It is enough.”
It seemed so simple. A wave rushed over my ankles, splashing up over my legs, and just like that, the vision was gone, as was my mom. Seeing her disappear again was painful, but it had been an opportunity I never thought I would have, at least not while I was still breathing.
I will be brave, I thought, staring at the surf washing up the sand at my feet.
Turning my arm over, I studied my wrist—the mark, gleaming bright under the high moon. I would be strong. And one day soon I’d be strong enough to lead. But I still longed for more time. The vision had come and gone too quickly, so many questions unanswered. Was my mother implying I should go against the oath Rose had made to unify my bloodline with Zander’s? Was she telling me to find a way to be with Zane? Trust my heart, she had said.
My heart wanted Zane. There was no doubt about it.
I stood overlooking the water, the shine of it now gleaming under the fullness of the moon. I thought about my mom, the sound of her voice, the scent of her hair, and my heart pinched.
As I started back to my car, I heard the high, sharp cry of a hawk, a reminder I was never truly alone. Except tonight, her words would also stay with me. Smiling to myself, I touched the amulet, which had been hers, now hanging around my neck. It was cool against my skin and carried the image of a raven.
“I will get stronger,” I murmured, my voice drowned by the waves, and then started the trek back to the Jeep.
Chapter 11
Doomsday.
At least that was how TJ felt. He stood on the manor’s porch like a sad puppy dog, and the emotion in his brown eyes tugged at my heart. I was an anxious wreck. So far today I’d bumped my knee into the dresser—twice—got shampoo in my eyes, and spilled hot coffee down my shirt all before noon. It was going to be that kind of day.
TJ dragged his duffle bag across the driveway. “This is total bullshit.”
“Welcome to life,” I mumbled, jumping into the driver’s seat of my Jeep. “At least it’s a beautiful day,” I said.
TJ tossed his bag in the back seat, shaking the car. “Who cares if the sky is blue?”
I scowled. “Are you really going to sulk and complain the entire way to the ferry?”
He hoisted himself into the passenger seat. “Is the sky blue?” he said dryly.
I stuck the key into the ignition. “Smartass.” The windows were open wide, letting the balmy breeze dance over my face. “It’s going to be a scorcher today.” Already I could feel little beads of sweat gathering along my hairline. And if I had to fill the silence with meaningless chatter, I was going to torture us both. I understood he was salty, but I didn’t know what else to say. It might have been better to keep my mouth shut, except I didn’t want the last conversation with my brother to be about nothing.
“At least you get to enjoy it. The rest of my summer will be filled with smog.”
“Stop acting like a tool. I would give anything to be going home,” I said wistfully.
TJ leaned his arm out the window, watching the landscape fly by. “Good. Let’s trade places.”
“You want to be a girl?” I asked, hoping to draw a smile. I was disappointed.
He continued to gaze at the scenery. “Now who’s being lame?”
I sighed. “Trust me. I won’t be lying out on the beach getting my tan on.”
He finally looked at me. “I know. It’s just we haven’t been separated since…”
Since Mom died. I took my eyes off the road, glancing at him. “I know. I’m not happy about it either.”
“Dad’s going to be there, right?”
“If he’s not, we’re disowning him,” I said, hoping my unease wasn’t audible.
He let out a feeble laugh.
It was the longest and shortest ride of my life. My brain couldn’t seem to make up its mind, whether I wanted to hurry up and get this over with or drag out the good-bye. Shifting the car into park, I took a long look at TJ, preserving his face to memory. For once, he didn’t have an ill-humored comment.
Reluctantly, we climbed out of the Jeep, neither of us in joyous spirits. I didn’t know who dragged their feet more.
Boats scattered the harbor, bobbing and gliding over the water. The sea was a soft, dreamy blue with frisky waves that rolled up against the docks. Any other day, I would have taken a moment to appreciate the sheer tranquility and beauty of the ocean and the endless rumble of the surf, but today it was a bitter and lonesome song.
Crows winged overhead, circling and diving in the sky. A long shrill pierced the air. We stood side by side, gazing out into the foggy harbor, waiting to see the first light of the ferry.
“This is a summer I’ll never forget,” he said, leaning his hip against the pier.
“It’s been life-changi
ng to say the least.”
“Hey, I just realized I’m going to miss your birthday.”
Ah, yes, the big eighteen. “Please. You know how I feel about my birthday.”
The smile I’d been hoping to see appeared. “Exactly my point. It’s so much fun to see you squirm.”
I had to tip my head back to meet his eyes, which always burned my butt. “I guess this year my wish is actually going to come true. No birthday fuss.”
The horn from the ferry blasted and my head turned out into the sea. There it was, TJ’s passage to safety. As it maneuvered its way into the port, my heart plunged in my chest. Saying good-bye to another person in my life sucked. I easily forgot every horrible thing he’d ever said to me and all the brotherly pranks he’d pulled. I wanted five more minutes with my little brother.
The big boat was crowded with tourists anxious to start their summer vacations. Not that long ago, TJ and I had been on that ferry, dewy-eyed and clueless. It felt like a lifetime ago.
We waited in silence as the passengers unloaded. I glimpsed down at my shorts with the frayed hem, kicking the toe of my sneaker over the sandy wooden planks. “I hate good-byes. You know that. So, I’ll see you later.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. Reading the expression on his face, I knew he wanted to argue again about leaving, but something changed his mind. Maybe he saw the sorrow swimming in my eyes. When he did say something, it was a childhood phrase our mother used. “Later gator.”
A tentative smile played at my lips, and I lightly bumped his shoulder with mine. “Later gator.” And even though I knew it would embarrass him, I gave him a quick hug and was surprised when his arms squeezed me back. I’d always been the strong one, and I held back the tears rising up my throat.