“Then let’s go count the stars,” she said.
“Sure you don’t want to talk about what’s happened? It’s got to bother you more than you are admitting. I’ll be a good listener even if I don’t have a bottle of Jameson.”
“I’ll tell you all about it on the way. But what I really need has more to do with stars and a quilt than with listening ears and a bottle of whiskey.”
He pushed himself out of the swing and held out a hand. She took it, no longer surprised at how his slightest touch affected her senses. It had always been that way with Jackson, from a time when she was too young to understand the attraction between them. She liked the way she felt with Jackson. She loved the way her heart skipped a beat when he walked into a room.
So why do you fight it? He’s sure let you know that he wants a future. You need to make up your mind what you want and then don’t look back, she thought.
The note was in her pocket and the time had come to either give it to him or tear it up.
Jackson parked the truck beside the creek and took out the quilt. He spread it out smoothly in the back of the truck and they stretched out beside each other, only holding hands.
“Are you willing to give us another chance?” he whispered.
“Are you?” She reached in her hip pocket and touched the note that Bobby Lee had put there the day before. The handwriting hadn’t changed much since Jackson had written the first one when they were ten years old. The wording was different this time, though: Will you give me a second chance? Please check yes if you will.
She had read it quickly on her way inside the house to deal with Dina. It had a spot on the upper left-hand corner where a tear had landed it on that afternoon when she’d snuck it out of her pocket and read it for the twentieth or thirtieth time. She’d thought about it a lot longer than she had before she checked the box back in the fifth grade, but when she handed it to Jackson now, there was a mark in the box. Yes, she loved him.
“Do I want to open it?” he asked.
“I hope so,” she said.
“Thank you, Loretta. That makes this next question a lot easier. I know you’ve got at least two more weeks of vacation. Will you please stay here on the ranch and give us a chance to really work at this thing? I have no doubt that we can manage a long-distance relationship, but I really want some more time with you.”
She nodded and said, “I can do that.”
He cupped her face in his hands and lowered his lips to hers in a kiss that held the promise of a future. “I love you,” he said softly, then laid his finger across her warm lips. “Don’t say anything right now. Knowing that I have a chance and that I can say those three words to you again is enough for tonight.”
She wanted to say the words, but she couldn’t. So many things ran through her mind. Practical things, like how on earth they would ever make a long-distance relationship work and if they would be any better at a second chance than the first time around.
The man just asked for a second chance and told you he loves you, her inner voice said. Actions speak louder than words. What are you waiting for?
She rolled over, threw one long leg over his waist, and settled onto his body like it was a comfortable old saddle. Leaning forward, her lips met his in a searing kiss that burned every thought of anything other than making love with Jackson out of her mind.
His hands went to her back to unhook her bra and slowly pull the straps from her shoulders. She pulled his blue knit shirt over his head and tossed it toward the side.
“You are going to get all sweaty,” he said.
“I know where there is a real nice shower, even if the cowboy on that side of the hallway won’t let women stay overnight. Or we could always cool off in the creek.” She undid his belt and slid his tight jeans down to his boots.
He started to sit up to help get his boots off, but she shook her head. “Darlin’, I still know how to do this job. You lay back tonight and enjoy the ride.”
He obeyed right up until he could take no more, then flipped her over. “Tonight we are going to make love.”
“We haven’t before?” she whispered.
“We’ve had lots of wonderful sex, but tonight is special, so we’re making love.” His breath was hot in her ear as his hands wandered over her body. Whoever said that whatever a man said anything a woman wanted to hear when he was having sex had to be wrong, because Loretta believed every single one of the sweet things Jackson said.
This was what she wanted at the end of a day. He was the only one who could satisfy her in and out of bed, even after disappointments. And, yes, she loved him, always had. Jackson took her to the pinnacle of the biggest climax she’d ever known. Nothing mattered but satisfaction and the moment, not tomorrow or next week, just right now.
“Intense,” she panted when he rolled to one side.
“Wild,” he said hoarsely.
They woke as the first rays of sun peeked over the horizon. She cuddled up next to him for a few seconds then sat straight up. “Oh, my God! Daylight is almost here. Rosie will be in the house in a few minutes to start breakfast and we’ve got church and my family is still there.”
He pulled her back down. “And we are grown adults who do not owe anyone an explanation for anything. But I am hungry. How about you?”
“Starving.” She smiled up at him.
“Then let’s go home.”
She put her hand in his. “Soon as I find my britches and bra, I’ll be ready.”
Chapter Twenty
LORETTA RAPPED ON THE METAL TRAILER DOOR. The lights were on, and even over the noisy generator, she could hear people inside. She waited a few seconds and knocked again, harder that time.
Her mother’s voice made its way through the door. “Come in, Loretta.”
The door swung open, but before her hand made it to the knob, her father stepped outside. She could tell by the way his jaw worked and by the look in his green eyes that he wasn’t happy with the women inside the trailer.
“I kept them from one of them intervention things, honey. But this one is between you and your mama about your work, so you’ll have to face the music with it. Seems to me like you’ve got a new lease on life since you come down here, so I expect you can hold your own.” Clark kissed her on the cheek.
“Throwin’ me to the lions, are you?” Loretta said.
“I reckon you can tame them.”
Loretta hugged her father tightly. “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Love you, kitten.”
His use of her childhood nickname brought a tear to her eye, but she refused to let it fall. There wasn’t room for another person around the booth-type table, so she pulled a tall stool from beside the cabinets and sat down. The aroma of the coffee they were drinking turned her stomach. Beer, bologna, her beloved mayonnaise, and now coffee? There had only been one other time that coffee smelled like shit.
It couldn’t be happening again.
She wasn’t eighteen.
She was forty; she could not be pregnant!
“Are you going home with us?” Katy asked. “Now that the issue with Nona has been solved, your job here is done.”
“I’ve got two more weeks of vacation time left. I’ve worked at the family agency for seventeen years and I haven’t had a vacation since Nona was fifteen. Don’t be giving me ultimatums, Mama,” Loretta said.
Katy crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s not an ultimatum. Either your van is leading the way out of this canyon after church or else I’m hiring someone next week. I have a whole stack of applicants, good ones with real estate licenses who are eager to work with our firm.”
Tammy held up a finger. “Think long and hard before you speak in anger. That comes from Scripture, not from me.”
“I’m not angry. Mama, I realize it was a sacrifice to take me and Nona in when you still had Tammy
to get through her final year of high school and Dolly still in college. So thank you,” Loretta said and paused.
“I did it because I believed you had made the right decision,” Katy said.
“If you want to fire me, that’s fine. I understand, but I’m staying for two more weeks. My heart says it’s the right thing. Nothing any of you can say will change my mind.”
“I’m so glad this weekend is over,” Loretta said as the motor homes pulled away from the ranch.
Jackson slipped an arm around her waist. “Me too. I’d like to show you something. How quick can you change into boots and jean shorts?”
“Ten minutes,” she laughed.
“I’ll load a cooler up with beer and drive the truck to the front yard,” he said.
“No beer for me. A couple of cans of cola will be fine,” she said.
“Never did know you to turn down a beer,” Jackson said.
“Since that morning with the whiskey, just the smell of anything alcoholic makes me queasy. And you’re not going to believe this, but so does mayonnaise and bologna,” she said.
“But not barbecued ribs? Remember when you got past that first three months with Nona and you hated the smell of barbecue, eggs, and bacon?” Jackson said.
She smiled. “I’ll never forget those days. I was so glad when the second trimester started and I could eat anything I wanted.”
He was sitting in the front seat of the old truck when she came out of the kitchen door, holding a brown paper bag in the other. His smile lit up the whole canyon.
They bumped along the pathway back toward the cabin. But before they reached it, he made a hard left and left any sign of a trail behind as they cut a swath through the weeds with the old truck. Grasshoppers flew every which way and a rabbit didn’t look too happy that his Sunday nap had been disturbed.
“We’re headed toward Ezra’s place, aren’t we?” she asked.
“Yes, we are, but we won’t cross over on his land. Did you see Rusty dancing with your oldest niece last night?” Jackson asked.
“Emmy Lou would have a coronary if Faith settled down on a ranch. She already has all three of her girls’ futures planned down to the second that they graduate from medical school,” Loretta said. “She can tell me how to go about raising Nona, but she’s got control issues worse than I ever had or will have.”
“I like what Nona has planned,” Jackson said.
“So do I. I don’t know why I didn’t think of online courses. We raised a pretty smart kid, didn’t we, Jackson?”
“We sure did,” he said.
Loretta pointed to a small white house with peeling paint. “What is that?”
“If you’ll bring the quilt, I’ll get the supper and the drinks.”
“And explain what this is and how it got here?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he agreed.
He pulled a key from his pocket and opened the door. In spite of the heat, it was fairly cool inside. The air-conditioning unit hummed away, sending cold air through the big silver vents already attached to the ceiling trusses. There was no drywall or cabinets, but the studs were up, marking where the rooms would be someday.
“I drove out early this morning and adjusted the thermometer,” he explained. “This is the living room. This part and the kitchen are built on the old stones put down by my grandparents when they took over the ranch from his parents. The rest has a new foundation but it all blends together,” he said.
She thought it would make a fine home for Travis and Nona.
“Now bring the quilt in here,” he said.
He led the way down what would be a hallway someday, even if the bare studs and no drywall gave it a skeletal look right then. “Spread it out. This is the master bedroom and that is the bathroom over there. A walk-in closet right here, and look at the view.”
The room faced the west, with a bank of floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over an array of cactus, scrub oaks, and desert wildflowers. She could easily imagine going to bed at night to a big moon and millions of stars peeking through the window. It would be every bit as wonderful as sleeping outside, without the chiggers and the heat.
Memories flooded through her mind. Even in the beginning stages she recognized the house now. It was the one that they’d laid out on paper that first year they were married. They’d called it their dream house. It was to be the one they’d build someday when they could afford to leave the big ranch house.
“Jackson, is this going to be your present to the kids when they get married?” she asked.
He hugged her close to his side and said, “No, darlin’, this has always been and will always be just for us. No one else is ever going to live in it. I started building it the year before you left, intending to surprise you with it when it was all finished. Remember, we wanted something small of our own. I haven’t touched it since you left.”
“I love it,” she whispered.
“Sit down on the bed. I’m not doing one thing to it until you say so and there is no hurry. You tell me when the time is right.”
She settled close to him and leaned on his shoulder. “And what’s to become of the big house, Jackson?”
“We’ll live in it until Nona gets married. I don’t know if that will be in a year or ten years, but someday when she does, we’ll move out here and give her the big house. We’ll pick out our own furniture, our own flooring, and our own sheets and towels. And our bed will be right here, where I can see the sunset every evening in your gorgeous green eyes.” He pulled her down beside him.
“Why, Jackson Bailey, is this a proposal?” she asked.
“No, ma’am. Not yet. For starters in this relationship, I just want to know when to call the contractors to finish this place.”
“And build my porch and put up a yard fence?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am. Both of those things. You just stake out where you want that yard fence.”
She should tell him about the pregnancy fear, but somehow she couldn’t say the words. Maybe, just maybe, it was the earliest signs of menopause. Until she knew for absolutely sure, she wasn’t telling anyone.
“Jackson, you told Ezra you wanted a whole yard full of kids,” she said.
He hugged her tighter. “Honey, I’m content just to have you on the ranch. To tell the truth, that was a big dose of teenagers this weekend,” he chuckled.
A baby deer pressed his nose to the glass and stared in at them. “Would you look at that?” Loretta whispered.
“Pretty amazing, isn’t it? I forgot about pillows for our bed, but you can lie on my arm like you do in the back of the truck. Let’s take a nap in our very own bedroom,” he said.
“Sounds wonderful to me.” She curled up next to his side and shut her eyes. Peace, wonderful peace surrounded her like an old worn denim coat on a bitter cold night.
“Jackson,” she said.
“Hmm,” he mumbled.
“I love you.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Loretta. Always have.”
Chapter Twenty-One
HOURS MELTED INTO DAYS and the whole ranch settled down to a steady diet of hard work and little play except on Sunday afternoons. The house out there with the fawn outside the window stayed on Loretta’s mind, but neither she nor Jackson mentioned it again. They grabbed an hour or two now and then to go to the cabin, but even that only happened on Sunday afternoons.
Loretta knew that she should use that pregnancy kit up there in her bedroom, but to know and have to do something about it was worse than not knowing at all. Until it became a fact, she wouldn’t have to do anything about it. She had been sick with Nona and she wasn’t now, although her list of foods that made her snarl her nose was getting longer with each passing day.
Nona reached for platter of cinnamon rolls. “Are you ever going to teach me how to make the
se, Rosie?”
“No, I’m not. You can learn on your own,” Rosie said.
“Shit!” Nona said.
“Y’all are on your own for the rest of the day. I’m not making dinner.” Rosie hung her apron on a nail and headed out the back door.
“Shit!” Loretta said.
“Like mother, like daughter.” Rosie’s laughter stayed behind long after she’d left.
Nona leaned over and kissed Travis on the cheek. “Mama. Daddy. I’ve got an announcement. Travis asked me to marry him last night. We’re engaged.”
“Congratulations,” Loretta said without hesitation.
“You’re not angry?” Nona asked.
“Not as long as you keep your word and finish college,” Loretta said.
“Daddy?” Nona said.
“I think I’m going to cry. But big old cowboys aren’t supposed to get like that. I knew this was going to happen soon, because Travis and I had a talk at the party,” Jackson said.
Nona left Travis’s side and hugged both her parents. “I love y’all so much. Mama, we’ve got a wedding to plan and, Daddy, we’ve got a ranch to run.”
Loretta took the kit to the bathroom and opened it. They’d come a long way in the years since she’d taken the first one and found out she was pregnant with Nona. This new fancy item could even tell a woman approximately how far along she was.
She opened it up and laid it on the counter, stared at it for a full minute before she could bring herself to read the directions. Not much different there than the first one she’d bought. Her hands shook as she did exactly what it said. She laid it on the countertop and shut her eyes.
She couldn’t look. She’d throw it away and never look at it.
But she had to know before they went to the house, before they put out the stakes. Jackson might not want to start all over at their age and he had a right to know that day.
She opened one eye and slowly put the lid down on the potty before she plopped down. She didn’t know if she was disappointed or scared senseless but at least she had her answer.
Long, Hot Texas Summer Page 21