After I landed in Billings, I walked slowly to my car, going over what I was going to say when I got back home.
I was deep in thought on the drive home and when I got there, I parked my car next to Cole’s cottage. The light was on in the small living room, so I knocked on the front door.
I could hear a movie playing through the door, so I knew he was awake. I knocked again when I didn’t get an answer. I waited, again no answer.
I walked to the back of the cottage, where the back door was open and Cole was laying on the grass looking at the darkening sky.
“Anna told me that you went after Miles.” Cole said, not looking at me.
“I did” I simply said.
“And?” Cole asked
I took a deep breath. Everything that I had prepared to say to him for the last four hours had floated out the window.
I walked up to where he was laying and lay beside him. He looked over to me with sad eyes.
I cupped his handsome face and kissed him deeper than I have ever kissed anyone in my life, hoping that was all the explanation that he needed.
He kissed me back and rolled on top of me, pushing my body into the damp grass.
He broke the kiss and whispered, “I’m in love with you and I hope to god that you feel the same because I can’t imagine my life without you. I want to marry you. I want to see you pregnant with our child. I want it all and I want it all with you.”
Cole looked deep into my eyes as if he was seeing my soul, the soul that belonged to him.
“I am in love with you Cole Green and I’m sorry I was too stupid to see it. I want it all with you too.”
He smiled wide and happily. “I forgive you. I will always forgive you. Remember when we first started sleeping together and I told you that I couldn’t promise you anything?”
“Yes” I answered. I had always wondered what he had meant by that.
“When I said that, I meant that I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t fall in love with you. I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I want to make so many promises to you and I will never break one of them.”
“I believe you. Just know that when I saw Miles today and looked into his eyes, they weren’t Miles’ I was seeing, they were yours. I think all along that I loved you but was too blinded by what if’s to realize it. I’m sorry.” I wanted to spend the rest of my life apologizing to Cole for the way I had treated him.
Cole kissed me lightly on the tip of my nose. “Never say you’re sorry for something you feel. I knew you were mine the moment we touched,” He laughed “I was just waiting until your heart was mended before pointing it out to you.”
I laughed with him. “Point taken” I said and kissed him again.
“Can I sleep with you now?” Cole asked and stuck out his delicious bottom lip.
I smiled and whispered, “Please”
Cole smiled at me then, his love mirroring my own. “Alex was your first lover, Miles was your first true heartbreak, and I want to be your first true love. Give that to me Thea.”
I wanted to cry from the words he spoke. He was right about everything. “It’s already yours.” I said and kissed him deep, letting him feel how much I felt for him.
I never thought I would feel this whole, this complete. I had been empty for so long up to this moment and it felt a little strange to be able to feel my heart beating again.
The walls that I had built years ago had been damaged by Miles. He had showed me that there was more to life than sadness and tragedy and for that I would always be grateful to him. I would always have a special place in my heart for Miles Taylor but the rest of my heart belonged to Cole.
I now understood why so many people believed in fate. I was fated to meet Miles, so that I could learn to love again, to break down my walls so that I could let people in, to open my heart to Cole. Everything that I had been through had been leading up to this point in my life. I had finally found my long lost ability to love, trust and forgive again, and I would be eternally grateful because I found who I was truly meant to be, and I had found it, within Miles.
Epilogue
May 4th 2013
I looked out my kitchen window of my log cabin and down the hill towards the large white tent sitting at the bottom.
White Calla lilies surrounded the tented area and I could see Red, Daren and Cole’s brother, Seth ushering people to their seats.
I thought back to the day Cole had proposed to me. He had convinced me to take a very long plane ride to New Zealand to meet his parents last summer. I was surprised how easy the trip had been, since my fear of flying was still very much an issue.
When we arrived in Tauranga, I was instantly in love with the city. There were white sandy beaches and palm trees as far as the eye could see.
Cole introduced me to his parents, Greta and Roger and his younger brother, Seth. Cole never brought up the fact that his family was very wealthy, which was a surprise. The only way you could tell they were well off was by their house, other than that, they looked and acted normal, much like my family did.
I instantly fell in love with Cole’s family. They were down to earth and loving.
Cole had taken me out on a date to show me where he had grown up. When we had finished our dinner, we took a walk on the beach.
I remember that the sun had just gone down and there wasn’t a person around.
Cole took my hand and bent down on one knee, making me cover my mouth with my hands.
“Thea Mary Ann Farris, I can’t remember my life before you came into it. You are a ray of sunshine that had lit up my life from the first time I saw you. I will love and honor you forever; will you do me a great honor of marry me?”
I remember thinking about all we had been through together. I remembered my struggle to fully open my heart to him, my struggle to change myself into the person I wanted to be. I thought about what Ida had said to me on the plane to win Miles back.
It took me awhile to come to terms with what she had said. For months I thought that I was just rebounding with Cole, trying to escape my feelings for Miles but I had finally realized that even though I had loved Miles, I loved Cole more and Cole hadn’t been a rebound but the person I was supposed to end up with.
He made me laugh, he made me cry, he made me angry in the worst possible way but most of all, I loved him with all that I had.
I smiled at him and said “Yes”
I snapped myself out of my daydream when I heard Anna’s voice coming from behind me.
“Are you ready to become Mrs. Green?” She said with the biggest smile.
“More than you know.” I answered truthfully. I couldn’t wait to me married to Cole. He was my soul mate.
I picked up the train of my long, white dress and made my way down the hill, Anna in tow.
I stopped to join Lancey on the outside of the tent. “Are you ready darlin?” He asked offering me his arm.
I smiled up at him and winked, “You bet”
The music started playing. I picked ‘Stay’ by Rihanna to be the song I walked down the aisle to because I felt that the song described my and Cole’s relationship.
As soon as the Rihanna’s magical voice started, I made my entrance. I immediately locked eyes on my handsome groom.
Cole wore a light gray tux with no tie, leaving the first two buttons undone, exposing the faintest hint of his chest underneath.
I wanted to run to him, to break free from Lancey’s hold, but I didn’t. Instead I gave him the biggest smile my face could handle.
Cole’s eyes lit up as if it was the first time he had ever seen me. I could tell by the look of awe on his face that he was emotional in this moment, the moment that we would become joined together forever.
As the song ended, Lancey handed me off to Cole, giving me a small peck on the cheek.
I joined my hands with my soon to be husband and looked into his moisture filled blue eyes.
“We are gathered today to join Thea MaryAn
n Farris and Cole Matthew Green in holy matrimony.”
After the ceremony had ended and the reception was in full swing, I made my way through the guests, hoping to find my husband in the crowd.
I had wanted to jump his bones the first moment I saw him waiting for me down the aisle and now was my chance to sneak away with him.
Cole was standing, talking with his parents when I snaked my arm around his waist from behind.
“That better be my wife.” He said, looking over his shoulder and smiling down at me.
I smiled back and pinched his toned ass with my free hand. I stood up on my tip toes and whispered in his ear. “I want you now.” And that’s all it took for him to excuse himself from his family, yanking me towards the house.
We couldn’t keep our hands off each other and it was because of this, that we didn’t get very far into the house before we were both stripped bare.
“I stopped taking my birth control last week so you better get busy with the orgasms.”
I laughed at his expression. We had talked about me getting off birth control and I had convinced him to wait at least a year before we started trying. I was a little freaked out about having kids but last week I decided that I was being a big baby about the whole thing. I wanted to have children with Cole. I wanted it all, a family, a home, a life.
“Are you pulling my fucking leg?” Cole asked surprised.
“Nope, what the hell are you waiting for? Fuck me already.”
I didn’t have to ask twice. Cole picked me up and laid me down on the cold, hardwood floor. For the next hour, we ignored our guests, paid no attention to the knocks on the door and the hollers coming from outside.
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