“Nah, nephew, it ain’t like that. And I ain’t never stepped out on any of my wives,” he said, smiling in Brenda’s direction as she sat in the corner, knitting. She returned his smile as he continued. “But I did just discover that my very first love gave me my very first child.”
That burning in her heart had escalated into a full-fledged inferno. Her father was acting like Jasmine was the best thing since the invention of the Internet. He already had a daughter. Jasmine was just an additive. Like you add a little bit of seasoning to an already wonderful pot of gumbo. He was acting like Jasmine was the gumbo.
But his words made her thoughts shift in another direction. All this time, she’d been concerned about Jasmine’s history being rewritten. This revelation altered Rachel’s history as well.
My very first love gave me my very first child.
Rachel mother’s, Loretta, was not her father’s first true love as she’d always believed. But more than that, Rachel was not his first daughter.
“Wow, Unc,” Teeny continued, plopping down on the sofa. “Tell me about my new cousin. Is she single?”
“No, but she’s your cousin, nasty behind,” Rachel snapped.
“Half cousin,” he said with a smirk. “Girl, you know I’m messing with you,” he said when he saw the disgust on Rachel’s face. “We don’t mix up bloodlines. Although I think you gon’ have to remind her of that quite often, cuz once she see all this fineness, she gon’ be smitten.”
“Even if you weren’t family, I don’t think you ever have to worry about that,” Simon said with a chuckle. “She has her a prominent preacher. He’s on TV. They are real high class. I even saw an article in Gospel Today calling them a power couple. Just google her. All kinds of great stuff on the Internet about her.”
Rachel could only stare at her father. He’d been researching Jasmine? She wanted to ask him if he saw the article about how his precious new daughter used to make it rain for singles.
“So, when do I get to meet this high-class cousin?” Teeny asked.
“Hopefully at the family reunion. I called and left her a message. I—”
“You what?” Rachel said, cutting him off.
“I called her,” Simon repeated. “I mean, I know you wanted me to wait, but I just can’t. I’m just bursting at the seams to see her. I feel like I have decades to catch up on. I want to know her. I want to know about Doris.”
“Dad!” Rachel said, pointing to Brenda in the corner, who hadn’t looked up.
“Oh, I’m not trying to be disrespectful. Brenda knows how much I love her. But I’ve told her all about Doris.” A nostalgic smile spread across his face. “I was young, but ours was a solid love. She was just as sweet as sugarcane and—”
“Like seriously, I don’t want to hear this, Dad, and I’m sure Brenda doesn’t, either,” Rachel interrupted again.
“I want to hear it, though, Unc. I always love a good love story. Reminds me of me and Emily before the UPS man stole her,” Teeny said.
Simon looked at Rachel, then over at Brenda, before turning back to Teeny. He still wore his smile, but it was like he was trying—but failing—to tone it down.
“I’ll tell you about it later. Next week at the reunion.”
Teeny patted his legs. “Yeah, I probably need to be gettin’ on up the road. Don’t like drivin’ at night too much.” It took about four attempts, but he finally pulled himself up off the sofa. “Cuz, it was good to see you again.” He leaned in to Rachel. “But, um, I was serious ’bout that hun’ed. Can you help a brotha out?”
“Ugh,” Rachel said in disgust as she turned and headed out the door toward her car. She was so disgusted with her cousin and her father. She ignored her father as he called out after her and she definitely ignored Teeny as he shouted, “Be like that then! I bet my new high-class cousin would give me a hun’ed bucks!”
Rachel wanted to tell him he’d be lucky if Jasmine gave him the time for a conversation, let alone one silver nickel. But she knew that if she turned around and saw her father still looking like some proud papa, she might very well burst into tears.
Chapter
16
Rachel
’Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again.
Rachel’s Luther Vandross ringtone filled the air inside her Range Rover. She debated not answering, but she couldn’t bring herself to ignore her father’s phone call.
“Hello,” she said, pushing the TALK button on her speaker.
“Hey, baby girl,” Simon softly said.
“Hey.”
A brief silence hung between them. Finally Simon said, “Did I do something to make you mad?”
Rachel let out a deep sigh. She wanted to say there was no way her father could be so clueless. But there was. She’d grown up without him even realizing how much his actions (everything from missing her dance recitals to his condemnations) hurt her.
“I mean, Brenda said you were mad. That’s why you left,” Simon said.
A pause, then Rachel replied, “I’m good.”
It was Simon’s turn to sigh. “That means you’re not. Is this about Jasmine, I mean, what I said about her?”
Rachel choked back the lump in her throat. What was she supposed to say? I’m upset because you were proudly talking about your new daughter?
“It’s no big deal, Daddy.”
He hesitated again. “Well, you left before signing the papers. That’s why you came over here in the first place.”
Rachel silently cursed. “Dad, can I just do it tomorrow?”
“They have to be signed and postmarked today. Brenda is gonna take them to the post office soon as we’re done.”
Rachel wanted to tell him to forge her name or something, but she knew there was no way her father would ever do something illegal.
“Fine,” she huffed. “I’ll be back in ten.”
Rachel exited off the freeway and made a U-turn to head back to her father’s house.
When she pulled back into the driveway, Rachel hesitated before getting out. Was she being petty? “No,” she mumbled. Her feelings were very much real and her father needed to take those feelings into consideration when dealing with this situation.
Rachel looked around to make sure Teeny’s truck was gone, then she got out and dragged herself up the walkway.
“Are you okay?” Brenda asked, meeting her at the door.
Rachel nodded as she stepped inside. “Where’s Dad?”
“Still in the den.” Brenda leaned in and whispered, “Talk to him about it, Rachel. You know your father. He didn’t mean anything, but he’s not going to understand that this affects you, too, unless you tell him.”
Rachel gave Brenda a slight smile. After her mother died, Rachel had never wanted to see her father with anyone else. But she couldn’t deny how good Brenda was to and for her father. And while she’d never fully embraced her stepmother, the woman still never failed to dispense motherly advice.
As she made her way to the back, Rachel took Brenda’s words into account. She had to let her father know what she was feeling. Growing up, she’d held on to bitterness about her father’s detachment, but she’d come so far since then. She wasn’t about to travel down that road again.
Simon dropped the photo he was looking at and sat up as Rachel walked in. He’d moved it quickly, but Rachel could tell it was that old tattered photo of Doris.
“Baby girl, I’m sorry,” Simon said.
Rachel eased onto the sofa next to him. “So am I. I shouldn’t have stormed out like that. It’s just . . . it’s just that . . .” For some reason, she felt like a little girl pleading for love and attention again. “It’s just that, well, I’m no longer your only daughter. That’s a huge pill to swallow. And then to see your excitement about Jasmine . . .”
Simon scooted up to the edge of his chair and reached out to take her hand. “Rachel, I know we’ve had some issues, but you will always be my number one girl. Yes, I’m excited about Jasmin
e, because she’s a piece of my first love, but that doesn’t discount what I feel for you.”
Rachel grimaced as he continued. “Your mother knew that,” he added, as if he could tell that was painful to hear. “She knew how I felt about Doris. Loretta knew that while Doris and I were young, our love was very real. I would’ve married her if I could have. When I lost contact with Doris, it broke my heart. I tried everything, but my letters went unanswered and I had no way to get in touch with her. I wanted to find her so we could spend the rest of our lives together. But that wasn’t God’s plan. God wanted me to marry your mother.”
Rachel hadn’t even realized she was crying until a tear fell onto her lap.
“Your mother was okay with that because it was my past,” Simon continued.
“But it’s like you want to relive the past.”
“Why? Because I talk about Doris with fondness? I loved her. And to know that she carried my child, and to think of all she had to endure . . .” Simon’s words trailed off as he choked back his words. “I just want to get to know the child I didn’t get to know.”
His words were profound and tore at Rachel’s heart. She took a deep breath and found herself saying, “You really want her at the reunion, don’t you?”
“Nothing would make me prouder,” Simon said. “I know our family is a little different from hers.”
That finally made Rachel chuckle. “A little?”
“Regardless, it’s family and I want her to get to know us. Get to know me.”
Rachel smiled at her father. “I get that.”
“So will you help me? Maybe call her and let me talk to her?”
That wiped the smile right off her face. “What makes you think she will take my calls?”
Simon shrugged. “I don’t know if she will. But I have to exhaust every effort. I will exhaust every effort. I’m not giving up.”
“Dad, I just don’t know. Jasmine is not taking this news well and I just don’t like you calling her, because she might say the wrong thing.”
“And? Won’t be the first time someone said something to me sideways. She has a right to be angry, so it won’t bother me none.”
Rachel sighed. She knew it would be a moot point to try to convince Simon Jackson of anything else once he set his mind to something.
“Fine.”
“Fine? So, you’ll call?” He was acting like a kid about to go get his favorite snow cone.
“Yes.” Rachel nodded.
“You’ll call now?”
Rachel shook her head, but dug in her purse for her cell phone. “Yes, Daddy. I’ll call now.”
A sense of relief and happiness swept over Simon, while Rachel fought back the stinging feeling in her heart. She scrolled through her phone until she reached the Ts. She swiped “Old Troll” and waited for Jasmine’s number to begin ringing. It rang once. Then twice. By the third ring, Rachel was hoping that it went to voice mail, so she almost hung up when Jasmine picked up.
“Yes, Rachel?” Jasmine said, not bothering to hide her irritation.
“Hey,” Rachel said, not feeding into her attitude. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” Her tone was dry, as if Rachel was getting on her nerves.
“Well, good. I, um, I was calling, well, I’m here with my, our . . . with Daddy,” she said, pushing the words out.
Silence filled the phone and Rachel had no idea what to make of it.
“He just, he wanted to speak with you,” Rachel continued.
“Rachel, I’m not—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Simon took the phone out of her hand. “Jasmine. It’s Simon.”
Rachel watched her father intensely. Everything inside her wanted to snatch the phone back. Jasmine wasn’t ready. Rachel could hear it in her silence.
“I’m so happy to talk to you. I know this is all a bit much, but I just, well, I need to see you. To talk to you.” He paused and it was killing Rachel, wanting to know what Jasmine was saying. Simon continued. “I understand that and I’m sorry to call you like this. But I left a few messages. I have so much I need to say. I’m sure you have questions, too. I mean, there’s so much I could tell you about your mother and I know this is difficult, but you were conceived in love and I want to make sure—” He paused again. “I understand, but if you would just give me a chance, I know I could answer some of your questions. I was thinking our family reunion next week would be the perfect time. We’ll have almost a hundred of our family members in Smackover, Arkansas, and I could show you where me and your mom met. I could introduce you to relatives.” He was rushing his words out as if he was scared she would hang up on him at any moment.
Rachel was on the edge of her seat. Then the deflated look that passed over her father’s face told her Jasmine’s answer.
“I really wish . . .” He took a deep breath. “Well, take some time and think about it . . . I understand . . . Yes . . . Okay. Thank you for talking to me.”
He slowly eased the phone away from his ear and handed it back to Rachel.
“Well, what did she say?” Rachel asked as she took her phone and dropped it back in her purse.
“She said no.”
“No? Just no?”
“Just no.” Simon stood and Rachel saw the mist in his eyes. That broke her heart. She could count on one finger the number of times she’d ever seen her father cry. “Excuse me, baby girl,” he said. “I need to go.”
He scurried out of the room. Rachel knew he needed to be alone so she didn’t go after him. But now she was incensed. Jasmine wasn’t the only one hurting. They all were, and if there was one thing she wasn’t going to do, it was stand by while Jasmine hurt her father even more. She’d put her own feelings aside to give her father this one wish.
Rachel felt a new resolve. Jasmine would be going to their family reunion. If she had to, Rachel would use every trick she had to make that happen.
Chapter
17
Jasmine
Jasmine pressed END on her phone and wished she could press it again and again so Simon Jackson would get her point. She knew she shouldn’t have answered the phone. She’d ignored all the calls from Simon; once she’d heard that first message he’d left on the day she’d flown back from Alabama, she’d saved his number into her phone just to make sure she never answered him, not even by accident.
So then, why oh why had she answered Rachel’s call? She had deleted that woman’s number, but she recognized it when the phone rang. Still, she’d answered. Why? But Jasmine knew why. Because, while she was ignoring Simon, she wanted to make sure that he knew she was ignoring him. And she wanted him to know that she would never speak to him. When she’d answered Rachel’s call, Jasmine had wanted to send that message to Simon and then tell Rachel that both of them needed to lose her number.
But then, Rachel had betrayed her, the way she always did, and put Simon on the phone. She’d wanted to just hang up in his face, but her real father had raised her too well for her to behave that way.
“Who was that?”
Hosea’s voice snatched her thoughts away from the call. “Nobody,” she said.
Hosea raised one eyebrow and glanced around his office. Jasmine followed his gaze to the bookshelves that were stuffed with Bibles in every translation to the singular Holy Book that sat on his desk. And it made her remember that she was sitting in the middle of one of the largest churches in the city.
“All right! That was Simon,” she confessed. “But I didn’t lie,” she added as if she needed to explain that to her husband and to God. “He’s nobody to me.”
“He’s your father.”
Jasmine glared at Hosea. “No matter how many times you say that, it’s not going to change the fact that he’s not.”
With a sigh, Hosea rose from his side of the desk and came around. Then he planted himself next to her on the sofa. “Why are you fighting this so much?”
“Because it’s just so ridiculous!” She jumped up and
paced in front of him. “I mean, really, Hosea. I’m damn near . . . you know . . . just about . . . in my . . . around forty . . . ish . . . and now I find out that not only is my father not my father, but that the woman I hate . . . well, one of the women I hate . . . is my sister? Come on now.” She folded her arms. “This sounds like a bad novel where the author couldn’t come up with a better plot. This doesn’t sound like my life. This doesn’t feel like my life.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel, but that’s the reason I really wish you’d at least talk to Simon. Because I know it will make you feel better.”
“And how could it possibly do that?”
“Because it’ll answer your questions.”
“Aunt Virginia answered all my questions.”
Hosea nodded. “I think she answered what a young girl told her, but if you were to talk to Simon, you could find out even more about your mother. And I know you’ve always wanted to know more about her.”
Jasmine tilted her head and examined her husband. She had never really told him that. All she’d ever said was that she felt cheated when she lost her mother back when she was in college. She felt cheated because she’d always looked forward to knowing her mother, woman-to-woman. That’s something that Doris had always promised her.
I can’t wait for my little girl to grow up. Because then I’ll be more than your mommy: we’ll be friends, best friends. Because you’re my special little girl.
Jasmine remembered her mother’s words, and she felt cheated once again, the way she always felt when she thought about those lost years with her mother.
If only her mother had lived . . . would life have been different? Would she, Jasmine, have ended up as one of LA’s most notorious strippers, would she have cheated on Kenny Larson, her first husband, the night before their wedding, and then all those times afterward? Would she have lived a life that had her cheating with every married man she could find?
Maybe she had always cheated because she’d been cheated. Really, if Jasmine thought back, it was her mother’s death that had set her on that path.
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